We need community while parenting kids with disabilities and special needs. Sandy Ramsey-Trayvick describes how the Holy Spirit nudged her to seek out other moms, how being in community helps her, and how you can find a community of moms, too.

“Don’t isolate yourself.” The Lord spoke those words to me at the very beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic. I wasn’t feeling particularly isolated. I wasn’t alone or lonely—I was with my family—but I assumed God knew what I would need or would later be facing better than I did. So I decided to look online for Christian groups for moms of kids with special needs. I’m not sure why I decided to look for special needs groups as a way to stay connected. I’d never really belonged to a special needs community before.

Fast forward to today: I still belong to the same special needs community I found online four years ago and it has become such an important part of my life:

• It has filled a need that I didn’t even know I had—to belong to a group of moms who share my faith AND who understand this special needs journey. I’d grown so accustomed to living much of my life as a Christian special needs mom by myself. I knew a couple of the moms from my son’s class over the years, but no real connection ever formed. I had settled into and made peace with the reality that I’d be alone on this journey.
• It has given me the opportunity to serve other moms like me—I’ve led a community group for years and have enjoyed getting to know moms from all over the United States—moms of different ages, at different stages on their special needs journey, and dealing with a variety of diagnoses. I have the privilege of providing a weekly online space for them to connect with other moms while they receive encouragement from the Word and each other.
• It has helped me put my own journey into a clearer perspective as I learn about the experiences of these other moms. I’m inspired, blessed and humbled by their stories.

For anyone reading this who is considering whether you need a community, I’d say it’s so worth it. Or if you desire a community but have yet to find a special needs or caregiver community to connect with, I would say, don’t give up. I believe that the Lord recognizes our need for community—for belonging—and that He’ll help us to find one (or start one) if we ask. Here are some things to consider:

• Look online for local groups or online forums. They abound these days, unlike when my son got sick over 20 years ago. Post-COVID, there are online opportunities for just about everything. You may have to search a little bit, but my experience proves the outcome can be well worth the effort.
• If your child has a medical diagnosis, you can ask your child’s doctor or check local hospitals for support groups. After my son’s first kidney transplant, I briefly joined a support group for parents where post-transplant care, and the fears associated with it were discussed.
• Even if a group doesn’t seem like a perfect fit at first, give it a try. If you end up leaving the group, at least you’ll have met some other moms or caregivers who may prove to be valuable resources or connections for the future.
• When you find a group you like, attend. Don’t let excuses steal this opportunity to connect.

Believe me when I say we need community while parenting kids with disabilities and special needs. God has given us a great calling, and he wants to surround us with good people while we fulfill it.

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Background Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash