When God Redeemed My Worst Christmas Ever and Used It for Good

by jphilo | Dec 23, 2024 | Different Dream, Encouragement, Holidays, Special Needs Parenting, Spiritual Support

When God Redeemed My Worst Christmas Ever and Used It for Good

When God redeemed my worst Christmas ever by using it for good, it came as a big surprise. Most likely because 1982 was the year of my worst Christmas ever, and the using it for good part didn’t come along until December of 2024.

42 years is a long time, which explains my surprise.

When Christmas of 1982 rolled around, our medically fragile baby was 7 months old. He’d already been through major surgeries, airplane rides, hospital stays, tube feedings, and who knows how many doctors’ appointments. Had I not been too sleep deprived to muster a single creative thought, I could have penned the lyrics for “The Twelve Days of a Medically-Fragile Kid’s Christmas.”

All we wanted for Christmas that year was to stay home.

So we did. It wasn’t the first time my husband hadn’t gone home for Christmas, but it was the first for me. Thanks to dear friends in the town where we lived, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Those friends—he was our pastor, his wife was our son’s back-up babysitter, and their 2 older kids were my students—invited us to Christmas dinner. Their extended families were there, too, and our baby was the center of attention all day.

Even so, Christmas 1982 was my worst Christmas ever.

That changed this past November when one of their sons texted us. Having visited his parents during the summer, we were aware of our former pastor’s dementia and increasing care needs. We’d told his kids to call us if they needed extra help. In his text, the son asked if we could come and stay with his parents for the final week of his mom’s recovery from surgery.

To read the rest of When God Redeemed My Worst Christmas Ever and Used It for Good, please visit Key Ministry’s blog for special needs parents.

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Photo by CHIRAG K on Unsplash

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Jolene Philo is the author of several books for the caregiving community. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. Sharing Love Abundantly with Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and Amazon. See Jane Dig!, the fourth book in the West River cozy mystery series, which features characters affected by disability, was released in October of 2024.

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Does God Speak Dutch?

Does God Speak Dutch? is an unusual way to begin a Different Dream post during the Christmas season. I encourage you to read on and let guest blogger Steve Harris explain the connection. It’s a good one you won’t want to miss!

This December Andy Williams will remind us often that Christmas is the “most wonderful” and “happ-happiest season of the year!” It’s easy to see why. Festive lights, frosted cookies, family parties, presents under a tree. Favorite movies are part of the fun too. One I enjoy is Miracle on 34th Street. It was released in 1947 and re-made in 1994.

My favorite scene is when the little girl, a Dutch war orphan, wants to see Santa at Macy’s. “She doesn’t speak English,” explains her adopted mom, “but was sure you could talk with her.” Santa pauses, smiles, then tenderly lifts the child onto his lap. The two begin to visit and sing—in Dutch. Her guardian tears up. I dare you to watch Miracle on 34th street Dutch girl scene without getting a little weepy yourself.

Double-dog dare you.

It’s a sweet picture of a remarkable spiritual truth for parents of children who are disabled and have special needs. When I was a new dad of a baby born with spina bifida, someone gave me a short story to read. The title was Welcome to Holland written by Emily Perl Kingsley. She was one of the first writers on Sesame Street and the mom of a son with Down Syndrome. In my 44 years of parenting two sons with disabilities, it remains the most powerful, honest, and helpful perspective I’ve ever read for parents like us.

Get ready for Kleenex Number 2.

Here’s a short summary of Kingsley’s amazing analogy. Joyfully anticipating the birth of a child is like planning a dream vacation to Italy. Your plane lands and the attendant announces, “Welcome to Holland!”

“Holland? That’s not right. We’re supposed to be in Italy.” The surprise, shock—and yes, the sadness—of that new reality will be part of us forever. But then come new realities and adjustments, and the life-saving truth that there are also wonderful—can we even say glorious?—things about Holland.

The Miracle on 34th street Dutch girl scene and Welcome to Holland revealed a truth for me that crystallized into questions that go way beyond fuzzy, greeting card sentimentality.

Did God arrive with us in Holland?
Is He here now?
Does He know how all of this feels?
Most importantly, does God speak Dutch?

I believe He does.

He is with us on every step of our parenting journey. He speaks our language. He knows how we feel. He knows the words we need to strengthen and encourage us, though I may not always hear them. I’ve learned that sadness can create spiritual deafness. But God continues to speak, in words accessible through His Word, in a language I need to listen to, learn, and understand. It is a language of presence and purpose.

It is a language of love.

Dad and Mom, may His words be clear to you this season and all through the new year. Merry Christmas to you and your family!

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Windmill Image by piccolomondo from Pixabay
Santa Claus Photo by Srikanta H. U on Unsplash

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Steve Harris—www.steveharrisauthor.com—recently published “Dads Like Us: A Survival Guide for Fathers Raising a Child with Disabilities.” He lives with his wife, Sue, in Lanesboro, Minnesota. Reach him at steveharrisDLU@gmail.com.