Stat Buddies: An Inclusive Teaching Strategy Comes to an End

Stat Buddies: An Inclusive Teaching Strategy Comes to an End

by | May 31, 2018 | Different Dream, School/Education, Special Needs Parenting

Stat Buddies: An Inclusive Teaching Strategy Comes to an End

“Stat Buddies is being phased out at the end of the year,” a former teaching colleague said in a text. “Would you like to come for the final session?”

“I’ll be there,” I replied.

On a mid-April Tuesday, I entered an elementary school in the Boone Community School District where I taught from 1985 – 2003, and spent an hour observing fourth graders and high schoolers engaged in Stat Buddies, the collaborative program Jeff Wells and I created in the mid-1990s. The history of Stat Buddies, an explanation of why it’s ending, and pictures of the program in action can be found in a very nice article in The Boone News Republican.

Memories of the years Jeff and I brought our students together flooded back as fourth graders and high school students crawl around on the floor sorting and analyzing data. As I watched, I was struck by the many ways Stat Buddies promoted inclusiveness.

  • It was equally appropriate for high school upperclassmen and fourth graders.
  • Children were out of their seats involved in active learning.
  • Visual cues made the concepts accessible to emerging readers.
  • The program used concrete, hands on information to teach abstract concepts.
  • Children who received special education services could be easily integrated.

When Jeff and I developed the program in the 1990s, our primary goal wasn’t inclusiveness, but creating a rigorous activity that promoted interactions across grade levels. But as experienced educators know, good teaching is good teaching is good teaching, whatever the subject and whatever the age of the students.

I’m a little sad that a program that benefited students across grade levels for more than 2 decades is being cut. But I’m eager to see what a new generation of inventive educators, with more resources available than ever before, will devise to turn the delivery of ordinary curriculum requirements into into extraordinary learning experiences that meet the needs of all learners.

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Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

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Sometimes a Mom Needs to be Mothered

Sometimes a Mom Needs to be Mothered

by | May 25, 2018 | Different Dream, How-Tos, Special Needs Parenting

Sometimes a Mom Needs to be Mothered

“I’ve got a sinus infection,”  I texted the friend who was picking me up at an unfamiliar airport in an unfamiliar town. “Do you have any antibiotics?”

“We’ve got your back,” she replied.

She wasn’t kidding. When she delivered me to our destination, she and my other friends had arranged an array of medications on the bathroom counter–everything and more than I needed to beat the nasty bug that reared it’s ugly head on a way to the Inclusion Fusion Live Conference where I was speaking before joining my friends for some R & R.

I shouldn’t have been surprised by their response.

Each of the friends is the mom, and most of them are moms of kids with special needs. They made sure I took my medicine and whisked me off to bed. “Don’t even think about going to church in the morning,” they said. “Sleep in and get better.” A single thought passed through my foggy mind as I fell asleep in the comfy bed made up with fresh sheets.

Sometimes, a mom needs to be mothered.

After 41 years of marriage, 36 years as the parent of a child with special needs, and 12 years of caring for my own mom I had forgotten the wonderfulness of being mothered. I had forgotten how lovely it is to be fussed over, to surrender control, to be given permission to rest, to turn off the alarm and sleep until my body would wake of its own accord.

To read the rest of this post, visit the special needs parenting blog at Key Ministry.

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Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

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Academic Support Center for Students with Learning Differences at Notre Dame

Academic Support Center for Students with Learning Differences at Notre Dame

by | May 17, 2018 | Different Dream, School/Education, Special Needs Parenting

Academic Support Center for Students with Learning Differences at Notre Dame

The Academic Support Center at Notre Dame College is amazing. I’m not saying that because my friend and co-author Katie Wetherbee works there. I’m saying it because of what’s being done to support students with learning differences who want to earn a college degree.

Academic Support Center Facts

Notre Dame College is located in South Euclid, a suburb of Cleveland, Ohio. Their Academic Support Center (ASC) served 100 students during the 2017-18 academic year and has the capacity for 150 students. An additional fee is required for ASC services, which include the following and much more:

  • A six week, 1 credit course for freshman that emphasizes study skills and time management.
  • 4 hours of tutoring per week with degreed professionals in the student’s field of study. (I met a lawyer, a CPA, and a biologist while touring the facility.)
  • Weekly, individual academic status report meetings with a learning specialist. During these meetings, the learning specialist and the student create weekly plans that become more self-directed as the student becomes more independent.
  • Quiet study areas for students.
  • Quiet test-taking areas and extended time for tests.
  •  Access to adaptive learning tools such as class materials provided in print, audio versions of textbooks, note-taking assistance, and recording of class lectures.

During the 2018-19 academic year, the ACS hopes to launch an initiative in which some college professors and ACS learning specialists will co-teach some classes.

Academic Support Center Focus

The focus of the ASC is employability. To that end, the center has created a strong career program. Staff members assist students as they create resumes and prepare for job opportunities. They practice interviewing on the phone and and in person. They conduct some mock interviews in front of a mirror so students can observe their own facial expressions. Students also learn simple techniques to manage the anxiety that arises before and during job interviews.

Notre Dame's Academic Support Center provides support for students with learning differences and is a model for higher education around the country.

A basket of fidget items on a window sill in the ASC.

Academic Support Center Staff

Every person I met at the ASC had the same goal. They all expressed a desire to provide support, to build student skills, and to offer encouragement. They want all their students, with a wide range of interests, talents, and learning differences to graduate from college and become valued employees.

Notre Dame College has students from all over the United States and from several countries. If you have a child with learning differences who wants to earn a college degree, check out Notre Dame’s ASC. If sending your child away from home isn’t feasible, contact colleges in your area to see what they offer by way of academic support. Notre Dame College is a leader in providing support for learning differences, and many colleges and universities are falling into line behind them.

Notre Dame's Academic Support Center provides support for students with learning differences and is a model for higher education around the country.

Katie and I doing the selfie thing at the end of our visit.

 

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Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

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Words Are Too Small for My Mother’s Love

Words Are Too Small for My Mother’s Love

by | May 10, 2018 | Different Dream, Holidays, Special Needs Parenting

Words Are Too Small for My Mother’s Love

“I love you,” I tell my mother at the end of every visit,
before bending to kiss her forehead.
“That goes without saying,” she might reply in return,
or “Reciprocated,” as she picks up her book as I leave.
But rarely, “I love you” in return.

Such words make her uncomfortable,
and hugs have always made her uneasy.
I have no memories of being tucked into bed with her whispering, “I love you,”
no memories of hugs and kisses when I woke in the morning.
But I have never doubted the love she has for her family.

It is fierce,
It is possessive,
It is unending,
It is sacrificial,
It is her purpose.

Love of family sent her back to teaching when her husband became ill.
Love of family is why she went back to college so she could earn more money.
Love of family made her fight for equal pay for women at a school board meeting.
Love of family is why she still refuses to get her hair done sometimes.
“I want that money to go to you kids,” she says by way of explanation.

So when she returns my profession of love with
“That goes without saying,” or “Reciprocated,” I never feel rejected.
Instead I look at my mother in her favorite red chair, wispy white hair flying,
I reflect on all she did for her family, all she still wants to do for us,
and I am grateful beyond measure for the love for her family she can’t express.

It is fierce,
It is possessive,
It is unending,
It is sacrificial,
It is her purpose.

Words are too small to describe her love,
too few to encompass all she did for her family,
too short to span the decades she labored,
too insubstantial for the burdens she bore,
too inadequate for a Mother’s Day card.

Perhaps, I thinks as I watch her set down the book she is reading
and turn her attention to a crossword puzzle,
this is why she shies away from “I love you.”
Her words can’t possibly hold the long lifetime of her actions.
So I say them for her again before I leave.

“I love you, Mom,”
and she looks up,
her faded blue eyes twinkling,
her smile wry and loving.
“I know, Jo,” she says and turns away, “I know.”

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Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

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Loving and Forgiving our Mothers this Mother’s Day

Loving and Forgiving our Mothers this Mother’s Day

by | May 9, 2018 | Different Dream, Holidays, Special Needs Parenting

Loving and Forgiving our Mothers this Mother’s Day

Different Dream welcomes Heather Johnson, a new guest blogger, this week. Heather’s story about the importance of loving and forgiving our mothers is timely as Mother’s Day approaches, and it comes with a tissue warning, too.

“Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!” 

“You sent me flowers!  They’re gorgeous! But you told me you weren’t going to send flowers because you bought me a garden bench!

“Yeah, I know!  But you’ve always said that flowers should be given to the living, not to the dead.”

We both laughed and began talking about her move from Ohio to Wisconsin where I’ve lived with my family. Within two weeks, Mom and I would be sitting on her new bench in the yard of her new house. Just two more weeks. Our hearts were full of anticipation.

The next morning, the phone rang. 

“Heather, it’s Bonnie.” My sister delivered the nightmarish news. “Mom’s dead.”

“What?”  I screamed my disbelief. My knees gave out. Collapsing on the top stair, I felt unable to breathe. My chest hurt from my wildly pounding heart. I wailed, “No!  No!  NO!”

As I sat rocking and sobbing with unspeakable grief, my sister gave me the facts.

Mom began feeling ill around 7 PM—nausea, vomiting, pain in her neck and shoulder, sweating. An ambulance transported her to the closest hospital. The emergency room doctor misdiagnosed her with the flu and sent her home. Just a few hours later, Mom died in her bed.

The new life I wanted with my mother shattered. She would never live in her new Wisconsin home. We would never sit on her new garden bench. She would never see her grandkids grow up. So many stolen dreams. But there was one dream that came true while she lived:  a warm relationship between the two of us which wasn’t always so. 

Mom had struggled with undiagnosed depression and anxiety while she raised her family. She was often short-tempered and bossy, spiteful and mean. She hurt me deeply too many times to count. In my 20’s, I wondered what would become of us. I didn’t know how to forgive such deep wounding until I began dealing with my own depression and anxiety. My own breakdown was the best thing that happened to me in terms of learning to love and forgive my mother. 

Over the years, I learned to set limits on Mom’s inappropriate behavior while also loving her unconditionally, at least in action. Slowly, both of our hearts softened toward each other. In the last five years of Mom’s life, we enjoyed the warm relationship we both had always wanted. It took time and effort. But isn’t loving and being loved back worth the work and the wait? Every Mother’s Day, I answer my own question.

Yes, Mom was worth the work and the wait.

So am I. So are you.

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Heather MacLaren Johnson lives near Wisconsin’s Lake Michigan shore with her husband of 25 years, 3 horses, 2 dogs, 2 barn cats, and a fish. She earned her B.S. in Education and her doctorate in Clinical Psychology before adopting 3 amazing kids from Russia, all now in their 20’s, all with life-long challenges stemming from prenatal exposure to alcohol (FASD). She is completing a memoir about her mother/daughter journey through hidden disabilities and mental illness.

Heather’s essay about learning to ride horses at age 44 is included in Leslie Leyland Field’s The Wonder Years: 40 Women Over 40 on Aging, Faith, Beauty, and Strength (Kregel Publications). She has published devotional pieces for The Seed Company (Wycliffe Bible Translators Affiliate) You can learn more about Heather at her website www.truelifewithgod.com.

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Inclusion Fusion Live at Your Fingertips

Inclusion Fusion Live at Your Fingertips

by | May 3, 2018 | Books and Resources, Different Dream, Special Needs Parenting

Inclusion Fusion Live at Your Fingertips

The Inclusion Fusion Live Conference on April 20-21, 2018 was two days worth of amazing speakers, exceptional exhibit booths, panel discussions, and more. The event was billed as a disability conference with a special focus on mental health issues. I came home with enough new ideas and resources to keep me thinking and researching for several months.

The conference was hosted by Key Ministry under the visionary leadership of Dr. Steve Grcevich, with Sandra Woods Peoples, Beth Golik, and Barb Dittrich behind the scenes turning his vision into a reality. (You’ll find bios for all four of them at Key Ministry’s Writers’ Page and Staff Page.)

Part of Steve’s vision, and that of Key Ministry, is to make resources available to families dealing with mental health issues and other special needs. That’s why they live-streamed all the main stage events and Quick Takes on Facebook. Even better, those videos can still be accessed at the Key Ministry Facebook page. At some point, the videos will be archived at another location on the internet, and I’ll provide that link once it happens.

Wherever they are housed, I highly encourage you to take advantage of this free resource and watch the 19 videos recorded at the Inclusion Fusion Conference on April 19–20. You can learn from national speakers like Barbara Newman of the CLC Network, Lamar Hardwick, Jason Hague, Tiffany Crow, Keith Dow, Ron Sandison, and more. It’s binge watching at it’s absolute best!

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Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

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