Anxiety in a Post-Covid World

by jphilo | May 20, 2021 | Different Dream, How-Tos

Anxiety in a Post-Covid World

Anxiety in a post-Covid world is the latest new reality in over a year of new realities. Clinical psychologist Liz Matheis is here today with 3 strategies to tame your anxiety as you and your family begins the process of re-entry.

Hooray, hooray! The end of the pandemic is coming!

Wait. Is it a hooray?

In one breath, you may feel relieved that life is returning to normal. But in the same breath you wonder what is normal 14 months after a pandemic that suddenly and drastically changed our lives.

Fourteen months ago, anxiety about a virus that we had never seen before entered our lives. Before we knew it, it was deemed a global pandemic. I remember where I was exactly and who I was with when I first heard that news. It was mind blowing and overwhelming.

This virus was far more than just a flu. Our anxiety became intense and constant as it created fierce symptoms and many didn’t survive.

For many of us, that anxiety has actually not yet settled. We carry a residual level of worry. We’ve adopted functional rituals such as disinfecting surfaces, washing doorknobs, washing our hands and wearing masks. We ask questions such as: “Does that restaurant have outdoor seating? Are those tables too close? Did that person just touch the door handle? Are my kids safe to go to school? What if I’m carrying the virus and pass it on to my parents/elderly relatives?” The list goes on and on.

In the next few months, we will be transitioning from isolating to socializing. Many of us haven’t spoken to another person in close proximity for a long while. During the pandemic our conversations were shorter and at a distance, whether it be a driveway, lawn or a street. What’s been the topic of those conversations? The pandemic.

This transition will mean shifting our mindset from “it’s not safe to be around other people,” to “It’s okay to be around other people again.” We need to give ourselves permission to re-integrate back into the world and to deal with our anxiety in a post-Covid world. These 3 strategies can help us do that.

Acknowledge Your Fears

Letting go of fears about the COVID-19 virus won’t be easy. These thoughts have grown over 14 months so changing them will take some time. Be patient with yourself. Acknowledge your fears often. Write them down. Speak with a therapist about them. Rather than allowing them to consume you, recognize that they exist. Give them credence but avoid letting them hold you back.

Identify Your Preferences

Begin to think about your preferences regarding re-entry. You may wish to socialize with other families where the parents have been vaccinated and their kids have had limited interaction with other kids. Whatever your preferences, you may wish to have a conversation with others prior to socializing or play dates. How will we greet each other? Can we hug, or should we fist pump or wave?

You’re going to be creating the “do’s and don’ts” of meeting with other people and find your clan who is on the same page with you.

Ease In

We are best able to adjust to change when we can take baby steps. Therefore you should identify how you would like to ease into socializing. For example, you may want to socialize outside as the warm weather is approaching with a limited number of people. Once you have greater data about the virus and feel a bit more comfortable, you may want to increase the number of people you are willing to gather with and expand your parameters.

Create a “hierarchy” of least anxiety provoking to most anxiety provoking situations for yourself and the parameters around them. For example, gathering with 2 other families inside my house with no masks may be very anxiety provoking so you won’t start there.

As the world begins to open up, sit down with your significant other and decide on how you would like to re-enter the post-COVID world. Think about which safety precautions you wish to continue to take and which ones you wish to let go. There is no manual for anxiety in a post-Covid world, so whatever you decide works for you is what you should do.

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Dr. Liz Matheis is a clinical psychologist and school psychologist in Parsippany, NJ. She offers support, assessments, and advocacy for children who are managing Autism Spectrum Disorders, ADHD, learning disabilities, and behavioral difficulties, as well as their families. She is also a contributor to several popular magazines. Visit www.psychedconsult.com for more information.

Author Jolene Philo

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There Is No Right Way for Caregiving Parents to Feel

There is no right way for caregiving parents to feel. Those wise words from guest blogger Laura Spiegel would have comforted me after our son’s diagnosis. Today she’s here with words to encourage you to name your feelings and to experience the miracle your child is.

Someone once said that “the only constant in life is change.” How fitting for a week of unexpected news. A loved one is ill, and I’m once again reminded that health is not to be taken for granted. None of us knows what lies ahead, and our bodies, sleek machines though they be, are not infallible. They never professed themselves to be. It’s we, in our arrogance, our busyness, who simply forgot.

Many of us parents know this well. As we dream of our future families, the warm bundles of love that we’ll cradle in our arms, we don’t typically envision pressing medical needs. We pass the local children’s hospital in just that – passing – too busy navigating our playlist to give it more than a second thought. We see fundraisers on late-night TV and videos of friends-of-friends on social media and experience a sharp intake of breath. Followed by the quick relief that it’s not us. Not our children. Not the loves of our lives.

Until it is.

Eight years ago, I was entering my final trimester. I was knee-deep in pink onesies and woke in the night paralyzed by the myriad of nursery color choices. Were the purple walls good enough, or should I give myself an extra kick and make that teal happen? My husband and I landed on a name. A beautiful, classic name that honored a beloved family member and was music to our ears. Our baby’s heartbeat was normal, her growth rate expected. We joked how our second time around, nothing could throw us for a loop.

Five days after our daughter was born, the pediatrician alerted us to an abnormal blood test result. Shortly after, our little girl was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis (CF).

We.

Were.

Thrown.

For.

A.

Loop.

Our daughter is a miracle. She tells the wildest stories, and when she laughs, her face opens up like the sky. She is a gentle friend and a sometimes hell-raiser. She runs the soccer field like there’s no tomorrow, feeling bashful when she kicks the team’s first goal of the season. Before I’ve finished flipping the jigsaw pieces over, her puzzle is almost finished. She dresses in my clothing, draws whiskers on her face, and pretends to be a high-heeled cat lady who teaches gym class. Class starts at 10 PM sharp, just after bedtime.

Science and medicine have progressed big time since our daughter was born. Any day now we expect the FDA to approve a game-changing medication that has done wonders for adolescents and adults with CF. The day our daughter takes that first pill will be the third happiest day of my life. It will be the start of a new path in her healthcare journey. A hopeful path. One that marches toward the sun.

To all the moms and dads out there who are on a similar ride, know this. There is no one right way for caregiving parents to feel. Devotion, ferocity, protectiveness, uncertainty, fear, persistence, hope. All have a place on your journey, and it’s okay if your feelings are tangled up together or if they swing from one side of the universe to the next on any given day. Our bodies aren’t machines, and neither are our minds. Our emotions have their own agenda, and there is no one right way for caregiving parents to feel.

You are doing the best you can. Your heart swells with a love you never knew you could feel. You advocate with a strength you never knew you had. You hope beyond your wildest of dreams.

And that life you had envisioned once upon a time?

Sometimes, when you think of it, you’re sad. You grieve what’s not to be.

Sometimes, when you think of it, you laugh. What Pinterest world were you living in?

But mostly, when you think of it, you smile. For this life – this love – this gift — is sweeter than you’d ever imagined.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Laura Spiegel spent 12 years at the world’s largest biotech company, partnering with professionals and care teams to help people with special needs and disabilities lead full and happy lives. In 2013 her daughter was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis. Laura now hosts Paint Her in Color, a website that offers emotional support to parents of children with special medical, developmental, or behavioral health care needs. When she isn’t reading, writing, or soaking up time with her husband and kids, Laura can be reached at Paint Her in Color, by email at laura@paintherincolor.com, and on Facebook and Twitter.