by jphilo | Sep 26, 2013 | Different Dream, Encouragement, Spiritual Support
This week I’m visiting the vast, remote South Dakota country where we lived when our son was born. I’m driving on roads that look like they stretch out forever over miles and miles of short grass prairie in a county with more pronghorn antelope than people per square mile.
Each day, I fight an irrational urge to travel the long miles between Camp Crook, where I am staying, and Rapid City. I’m tempted to arise before dawn and drive, scanning the road, looking for a 1980s era tan Chrysler K car. In my mind, I picture the intent, young father behind the wheel, a worried young mother in the passenger seat, and a small baby strapped into the car seat wedged between them. I imagine their eyes straying to the clock.
Wondering if they’ll get to the Rapid City hospital in time for the baby’s 8 AM appointment with the gastrointestinal doctor.
Wondering if the baby will ignore his empty tummy and stay asleep until they get there.
Wondering how the procedure will go.
Wondering if the procedure will do more good than harm.
I know the hunt would be fruitless. I know this family moved away decades ago. I know the baby is now a young man with his own wife and child. I know the father is now approaching retirement. But there is so much I want to tell that worried mother as she gazes at her baby. Her stomach a knot of anxiety. Her mind racing with questions.
Will I have enough breast milk to keep our baby alive?
Will he be all right?
Will the scar in his esophagus ever stretch out so he can take a bottle again?
Will we ever sleep through the night again?
Will all these medical procedures mess with his head?
Will I ever understand why God is allowing our baby to suffer so?
I want to tell this worried, young mother yes.
The rest of God Is Enough can be found at the Not Alone website.
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by jphilo | Sep 9, 2013 | Reflections on the Past
I dreamed of you last night,
Three students who graced my teaching days.
Last night, a decade after the last good-byes
Of my final class of children faded away.
Why now?
My sleep-drugged brain wondered.
Out of all the students
Why these three?
The first question I could answer.
After a day of writing a mystery novel
With a elementary teacher solving crimes,
School was on my mind.
But why these students?
I can not answer, though a reason there must be.
So I whispered a groggy prayer to the One who knows,
Then fell into a dreamless, restful sleep.
by jphilo | Jun 17, 2013 | Family
So glad this man was my dad.
So glad this man is our kids’ dad.
Feeling doubly blessed to have had
Harlan Stratton
and
to have Hiram Philo,
in my life.
Two of the best dads ever.
by jphilo | May 23, 2013 | Different Dream, Holidays, Special Needs Parenting
How Can 31 Years Ago Seem Just Like Yesterday?
Thirty-one years ago today, our first child was born at 12:35 a.m. on a Sunday morning. Like all mothers, I remember the details of that day at Lookout Memorial Hospital in Spearfish, South Dakota with perfect clarity. But my memories are different than those of many other new parents. The joy of the memory of our son’s arrival is tinged with sadness and gratitude.
I remember breakfast being interrupted with the news that our son was having trouble breathing.
I remember the food going tasteless when the doctor advised transferring him to Rapid City Regional Hospital for tests.
I remember being alone when the pediatrician from Rapid City called a few hours later with a diagnosis.
I remember wishing my husband hadn’t gone to take a shower at a friend’s house.
I remember the doctor saying the words tracheoesophageal fistula for the first time.
I remember telling that stranger to life flight our newborn to the University of Nebraska Hospital in Omaha for immediate surgery.
I remember crying so hard my husband could hardly understand my words when he returned.
I remember him taking my hand and praying for our son while tears streamed down my face.
I remember when the call arrived that our son had survived the trip.
I remember the surgeon calling at midnight to say Allen was doing well after surgery.
I remember my relief and more tears when once again, I relayed the doctor’s words to my husband.
For thirty years now, I have relived the events of that day every May twenty-third. I glance at the clock throughout the day and think the same thoughts.
This is when the doctor interrupted breakfast.
About now, the call came from Rapid City with a diagnosis.
Allen took his first airplane ride on an afternoon like this.
He went into surgery about now.
The rest of this post can be found at the Not Alone website.
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by jphilo | Apr 16, 2013 | Top Ten Tuesday
Saturday morning, I was driving to a speaking event when NPR broadcast a story about a newly released John Denver tribute album, with songs performed by current popular singers including Dave Matthews, Emmy Lou Harris, Josh Ritter, and Olde Crow Medicine Show.
I sure wish the man of steel, who thinks I don’t like music much, had been along to see the tears streaming down my face when the radio host played several John Denver songs popular during my teen years. Those songs evoked such strong memories of my older sister (who I thought knew everything) describing this new folk singer she said I would love, of dancing to John Denver songs at high school sock hops and college dances, and of our kids singing along to the John Denver and the Muppets Christmas Album.
The radio story got me to thinking about my favorite John Denver songs and resulted in this top ten list.
10. Lady, My Sweet Lady–My friends and I usually went stag to high school sock hops and spent a lot of time imagining slow dancing to this song.
9. Rocky Mountain High–Many of you might rate this song higher, but I love prairies more than mountains.
8. Leaving on a Jet Plane–We thought deeply significant thoughts while singing this song in tenth grade chorus.
7. Thank God I’m a Country Boy–The lyrics make me think of my dad.
6. Merry Christmas, Little Zachary–This one tugs at my parent heart every Christmas.
5. Follow Me–Yes, about every other wedding from the 1970s used this song, and musicians got tired of it back then. But now, the song makes me think of the people in those weddings, and I like that.
4. Sunshine On My Shoulders–Because sunshine on my shoulders does make me happy.
2. Annie’s Song–Because of our daughter.
2. Country Roads, Take Me Home–Because of our son.
1. Grandma’s Feather Bed–Because my Grandma Josie shooed her grandkids to the basement where we slept in a bed almost as crowded as the one in the song. We didn’t get much shut-eye, but I wouldn’t trade the good times and good memories for a full night’s rest.
What are your favorite John Denver songs? Why?
photo source
