Jesus, Kids with Special Needs, and their Parents, Part 2

Jesus, Kids with Special Needs, and their Parents, Part 2

by | Jul 14, 2020 | Different Dream, Encouragement, Spiritual Support

Jesus, Kids with Special Needs, and their Parents, Part 2

Jesus, kids with special needs, and their parents form a popular trio in the gospels. As parents raising children with disabilities, we can learn a great deal by studying their interactions. Today guest blogger Mark Arnold returns for part 2 of his series about Jesus, kids with special needs, and their parents to help us study the story of Jesus raising the widow’s son from the dead in Nain.

What Happened in the Story

The story of Jesus raising the widow’s son is recorded in Luke 7:11-17. Jesus travelled to Nain and encountered a funeral procession for the only son of a widow has died. The sight breaks Jesus’ heart and he tells her “Don’t cry.” He approaches the dead son and commands him to get up. Life returns to the boy. He sits up and talks before Jesus reunites him with his mother. The observers are filled with awe and praise God.

How the Mom and the Crowd Acted and Reacted

Grief: The mother is filled with grief because her only son is dead. She is already a widow, she knows grief, and she is now alone.

Respect: The passage says a large crowd is with her. She must have earned the respect of her community for them to turn out in such numbers.

Confusion: The widow was a bout to bury her only son when Jesus approached her. When he told her “Don’t cry,” she must have been troubled and confused. She must have wondered what was going to happen?

Transformation: In the first miracle of his ministry, Jesus raised the widow’s son from the dead. He went on to bring life back to others, but this was the first. Not only was her beloved son restored to life, but the mother’s future was transformed into a more secure and stable one.
What We Can Learn from Jesus, Kids with Special Needs, and their Parents

There are two key messages for us here. The first is that the mother, in her grief, was surrounded by her community. This should lead us to ask who is in our community. Who can we reach out to when we are facing tough times? Who will journey with us? The second message is that sometimes Jesus commands us to do something unexpected in tough times when we feel overwhelmed. Will we obey, listen, and wait to see what he does? Or will we ignore him, dismiss his words, continue in our grief and sorrow? If we do the second, we risk missing out on the good he intended to do.

To read more of this series, check out the links below:

Jesus, Kids with Special Needs, and Their Parents, Part 1

Jesus, Kids with Special Needs, and Their Parents, Part 2

Jesus, Kids with Special Needs, and Their Parents, Part 3

Jesus, Kids with Special Needs, and Their Parents, Part 4

Jesus, Kids with Special Needs, and Their Parents, Part 5

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Mark Arnold is the Additional Needs Ministry Director at Urban Saints, a leading national Christian children’s and youth organization. He is co-founder of the Additional Needs Alliance, a national and international advocate for children and young people with additional needs or disabilities. Mark is a Churches for All and Living Fully Network partner, a member of the Council for Disabled Children and the European Disability Network. He writes an additional needs column for Premier Youth and Children’s Work (YCW) magazine and blogs at The Additional Needs Blogfather. He is father to James, who has autism spectrum condition, associated learning disability, and epilepsy. To find out more about how Mark’s work can help you, contact him at: marnold@urbansaints.org or @Mark_J_Arnold.

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Jesus, Kids with Special Needs, and Their Parents, Part 1

Jesus, Kids with Special Needs, and Their Parents, Part 1

by | Jul 7, 2020 | Different Dream, Encouragement, Spiritual Support

Jesus, Kids with Special Needs, and Their Parents, Part 1

Jesus, kids with special needs, and their parents come together not once or twice, but five times in the gospel. If caregiving families were that important to the Son of God, he has something to teach us through these encounters. Guest blogger Mark Arnold examines each of these stories in his occasional five part series here at Different Dream. Today, Mark breaks down the account of Jesus healing an official’s son at Capernaum.

During his three years of ministry, as recorded in the Gospels, Jesus met the parents of five children whom he healed or raised from the dead. We can learn from the stories of Jesus, kids with special needs, and their parents by studying the parents’ actions and how Jesus responded to them. We may also see which parent we are most like!

What Happened in the Story

In John 4:43–45, Jesus heals a royal official’s son at Capernaum. The official hears that Jesus is in the area and begs him to come and heal his gravely sick son. At first Jesus dismisses him. When the father persists, Jesus tells him “Go, your son will live.” The father takes Jesus at his word. On his way home, his servants bring him the good news that his son is alive and getting better. They realize that the recovery started when Jesus spoke to the boy’s father. The whole household then believes.

How the Dad Acted and Reacted

  • Desperate and despairing: His son was dying. He was desperate to persuade Jesus to come and help.
  • Persistent: He wasn’t put off by Jesus’ initial dismissal. When Jesus said, “Unless you people see signs and wonders, you will never believe,” the father asked Jesus again.
  • Hopeful and perhaps disappointed or worried: The passage says he took Jesus at his word that his son would be okay. Were there tiny flames of hope in his heart? Was he disappointed that Jesus didn’t come with him? Was he worried about what he would find when he got home? Probably he reacted in all three ways.
  • Believing: Once he got the good news about his son, the father compared the time the boy had recovered to the time he had spoken with Jesus. When he saw they matched, he believed as did the whole household.

What We Can Learn from Jesus, Kids with Special Needs, and their Parents

We may also be desperate and despairing, looking for any way to help our child. We may look in the wrong places at times. We may give up. However, this father knew Jesus had performed miracles before. He believed he could again, and so he persisted. 

God doesn’t always heal, but that doesn’t mean we should stop bringing our child’s needs to him. We will still have times of hope, disappointment, and worry. Like this father we can hold on to the hope and to God’s promises. 

This father believed only after he realized that his son had recovered when Jesus said he would. Our faith and belief doesn’t have to wait for a miracle. Our trust comes because we and our child are in God’s safe hands.

To read more of this series, check out the links below:

Jesus, Kids with Special Needs, and Their Parents, Part 1

Jesus, Kids with Special Needs, and Their Parents, Part 2

Jesus, Kids with Special Needs, and Their Parents, Part 3

Jesus, Kids with Special Needs, and Their Parents, Part 4

Jesus, Kids with Special Needs, and Their Parents, Part 5

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Mark Arnold is the Additional Needs Ministry Director at Urban Saints, a leading national Christian children’s and youth organization. He is co-founder of the Additional Needs Alliance, a national and international advocate for children and young people with additional needs or disabilities. Mark is a Churches for All and Living Fully Network partner, a member of the Council for Disabled Children and the European Disability Network. He writes an additional needs column for Premier Youth and Children’s Work (YCW) magazine and blogs at The Additional Needs Blogfather. He is father to James, who has autism spectrum condition, associated learning disability, and epilepsy. To find out more about how Mark’s work can help you, contact him at: marnold@urbansaints.org or @Mark_J_Arnold.

Author Jolene Philo

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Be Strong and Courageous…and Do the Work

Be Strong and Courageous…and Do the Work

by | Mar 17, 2020 | Different Dream, Spiritual Support

Be Strong and Courageous…and Do the Work

Be strong and courageous is a frequent command in the Old Testament. Today’s guest blogger Melanie Gomez has learned that it applies to her today in her role as mom to a son with special needs and the work that requires.

Be strong and courageous. How many times have I heard sermons or teachings on these four words from the Bible? We recently spent an entire month teaching this theme to our elementary kids Sunday school class. Courage is one of the overarching messages in the Old Testament for the people of God.

Joshua received this emphatic commission before embarking on his epic adventures. King Hezekiah used it in his speech delivered to the people of Jerusalem on the eve of invasion by the Assyrians. But only recently did I discover this instance:

Then David continued, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work.
Dont be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God is with you.
He will not fail you or forsake you. 
He will see to it that all the work related to the Temple of the Lord is finished correctly.” 
1 Chronicles 28:20 (NIV)

In this verse the period isn’t after “courageous.” The command is completed with ”and do the work.” We don’t often associate courage with working. But here it is in the context of finishing a lengthy and tedious project. Boy does that fit the special mom’s job description! It’s not enough to be courageous at the doctor appointment, not just during the meltdown or crisis, the IEP meeting or hospital stay.

The truth is that courage is required to continue the work to its completion every single day—forever. As a matter of fact, I texted my husband at 9:01am today to say, “I’ve done more before 9am than most people do in a whole day.”

I love that in the translation above, David follows up with “Don’t be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you.” In this passage, a father is encouraging his son to complete a monumental project which will span his entire lifetime and define the lives and talents of entire generation of Israelites. Dad exhorts his son to be courageous, not by saying “I’ll be here by your side” but by saying “God, my God, is with you.”

How can you defeat the discouragement or fear that can seep into your heart after long days and longer nights? Know that the Lord God will be with you. He goes before you, He doesn’t leave you alone. He will not fail or forsake you. And He will see to it that all the work related to your “project” is finished correctly.

So meditate on the privilege and honor that He has ordained a specific plan and course for you and He promises to enable you to do the work.

Because my morning with my son Nick was so challenging on the day I texted my husband, I am sharing this picture of Nick’s Camper of the Day certificate that he received that same day. I hope it inspires you to be strong and courageous and to do the parenting work God has called you to do.

Pray with me: Lord, you know more than any other that my job  as a caregiver is work, it’s not easy and sometimes not fun. Thank you that your Holy Spirit can enable me to do the work joyfully and completely, so that I can achieve the great satisfaction of finishing what you created me to do. Be with me today, fill me with courage to continue this work.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for both at the bottom of this page.

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Married for 26 years, Melanie Gomez is mom to two young men, the youngest born with a rare genetic disorder. Melanie enjoys life in sunny South Florida, but never misses a chance to travel to new or favorite destinations. Her 14-day devotional Bundle of Joyis a fantastic tool for moms who have recently received a diagnosis for their child, or find themselves struggling to align their faith with their child’s diagnosis. Melanie can be found on Facebook or at her website Redefine Special where she shares encouragement and hope on a regular basis.

Author Jolene Philo

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Belonging: The Heartbeat of Inclusion

Belonging: The Heartbeat of Inclusion

by | Feb 27, 2020 | Different Dream, Special Needs Ministry, Spiritual Support

Belonging: The Heartbeat of Inclusion

Belonging is the heartbeat of inclusion. Those words from today’s guest blogger Shelly Christensen resonate with me, and I believe they may resonate with you, too. In this post she provides a biblical framework for inclusion and reminds us that inclusion is the soul of a community.

“For my house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples.” Isaiah 56:7

Centuries ago, the Israelite people followed a shepherd from Egypt into the wilderness toward a new future. Little did they know that without God’s inclusion, Moses might never have been chosen because of his speech disability.

God made it possible for Moses to fulfill his destiny as the leader of the Israelites by providing Aaron to speak for him. This was the first recorded accommodation in history. Moses could do the work that God commanded him to do as he led the Israelites to freedom. 

God chose Moses because of the leadership qualities and strengths he possessed. His speech disability was insignificant in God’s plan.

In Numbers 12:10-15, Miriam was stricken with leprosy when she spoke out against Moses’ wife Zipporah. Moses beseeched God, “O God, pray heal her!” God demanded Miriam’s banishment from the camp for seven days. Following her solitary week, she was readmitted. When Miriam returned, all the people moved on together.

That is inclusion. We move on together as one people. As we learn from our ancestors, our community is not whole unless everyone is present. Inclusion means everyone has the opportunity to share his or her gifts and strengths, like Moses did. 

And when one person is left outside of our community, like Miriam, we are not complete. 

The prophet Isaiah laid before us a mighty opportunity to include all people in our own faith communities. Many faith communities use Isaiah’s teaching (56:7), “For my house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples” to let people know that they are welcome.

This is a wonderful aspiration. It tells us what we can become. But it doesn’t describe why inclusion is a holy mandate in our congregations and faith-based organizations.

In the years I wrote From Longing to Belonging I continually searched the Hebrew bible to find a way to explain and understand the theology of belonging.

I returned to Isaiah 56:7. Whereas the last sentence of this verse is more well-known, it is the first part that tells us why belonging is the heartbeat of inclusion.

“I will bring them to My holy mount, and
I will cause them to rejoice in My house of prayer,
their burnt offerings and their sacrifices shall be acceptable upon My altar.”

In God’s eyes, each person contributes to this world. God doesn’t just bring us to God’s holy mount. God accepts the gifts we contribute, and we all rejoice in the holy connections we make with each other. In God’s eyes, everyone belongs. That is how our communities become houses of prayer for all people. This is God’s concept of inclusion. I knew it could become ours.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for both at the bottom of this page.

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Shelly Christensen, MA, FAAIDD, is the co-founder of Jewish Disability Awareness, Acceptance and Inclusion Month, now in its 11th year. She is an international speaker, trainer, author and consultant to faith communities. Her new book is From Longing to Belonging—A Practical Guide to Including People with Disabilities and Mental Health Conditions in Your Faith Community.  Shelly sits on the board of the Faith Inclusion Network (FIN).  For more information about how to make your faith community more inclusive, visit the Faith Inclusion Network Facebook page.

Author Jolene Philo

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20/20 Hindsight about our Child with Special Needs

20/20 Hindsight about our Child with Special Needs

by | Jan 27, 2020 | Different Dream, Encouragement, Spiritual Support

20/20 Hindsight about our Child with Special Needs

20/20 hindsight about our child with special needs was a long time coming.

When our son was born in 1982, the doctor said he had a tracheoesophageal fistula TEF, now known as esophageal atresia (EA) or EA/TEF.

We were young.
We were first time parents.
We were expecting a healthy baby.
We were blinded by fear after our newborn’s life-threatening diagnosis.

In those early days, we couldn’t imagine having 20/20 hindsight about our child with special needs. 10 years later, we had an inkling that hindsight might develop. 20 years after that, we sensed it was developing. Even so, we were surprised that it took until 2020 for our 20/20 hindsight to come into sharp focus.

It was worth the wait.

Nearly 38 years after the birth of our beautiful baby boy, hindsight reveals how his special needs diagnosis transformed us from a young, scared, and unsure couple into braver, confident parents. Here are 5 of the many means God used to complete the transition.

#1: Bad Things

The day our child was born, we discovered that bad things do happen. In the years to follow, we discovered that we and our child could survive and thrive despite

multiple surgeries, procedures, and tests for our son,
years of sleep deprivation for us,
mental health issues for all,
and huge medical bills.

Despite all that and more, we are still here. And we are thriving.

#2: Surgeons

In the years after our son’s birth, we learned that surgeons are a blessing from God, and surgeons who saw our son as a person and not a condition were a double blessing.

To read the rest of this post, visit Key Ministry’s blog for parents raising kids with special needs.

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Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

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Crying When God Gives What I Need and Not What I Want

Crying When God Gives What I Need and Not What I Want

by | Oct 28, 2019 | Different Dream, Encouragement, Spiritual Support

Crying When God Gives What I Need and Not What I Want

Crying when God gives what I need and not what I want is a regular event in my life. It’s most recent occurrence happened on Sunday. At church. During the sermon.

I thought I’d hidden my tears. Until the woman to my left scooted a few inches away, and my husband gave my shoulder a squeeze. He knew what the woman did not. He knew the pastor had said something that touched the tender spot in my heart. The place where I long for the healthy father I never had.

My husband was right. Our pastor had described Jesus telling the paralytic that his sins were forgiven. Then, the pastor paused. “Do you think the paralyzed man thought something like ‘Thanks for forgiving my sins, but what I really want is to walk again.'”

Tears welled in my eyes. My dad. My mom. My sister. My brother. Me. We had all wanted Dad to walk again, for God to restore what Dad had lost to multiple sclerosis. But, God didn’t give us what we wanted.

Long ago, I accepted God’s plan for my father’s life, though it wasn’t what my family wanted. Decades after Dad left this earth, God continues to reveal the good being accomplished through my father’s life. Even so, our pastor’s words probed the tender spot in my heart where my childhood longings for a healthy father are stored. The probing hurt, and I wept for the father I had wanted.

To read the rest of this post, visit Crying When God Gives What I Need and Not What I Want at Key Ministry’s blog for caregiving parents.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

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