Impacting Lives for the Kingdom of God

Impacting Lives for the Kingdom of God

by | Sep 29, 2021 | Different Dream, Spiritual Support

Impacting Lives for the Kingdom of God

Impacting lives for the kingdom of God is the most important goal of believers. In today’s post guest blogger Kimberly Drew tells how easy it is to lose sight of that goal whatever your work may be–parenting kids with disabilities, teaching school, pastoring a church, putting together widgets on an assembly line–and how to regain it again.

A few weeks ago, I had one of my back-to-school nightmares. In it my classroom was covered in trash and Lego pieces. I was frantically cleaning before the students came. New curriculum, a student with severe allergies, new co-teachers or administration, a change of classroom or teaching grade, all these things can add to the nerves before school starts and result in nightmares. If I’m not careful, the details also start to crowd out the most important goal for me as a Christian: impacting lives for the kingdom of God.

James and John lost sight of this in Mark 10 when they start lobbying for positions next to Jesus in heaven. He reminded them about why he came. His singular focus, to do the will of the Father by serving unto death for the sins of the world, would make a way for us to enter the kingdom of God. This reminder followed a third time Jesus predicted his own death. Immediately, James and John started vying for his affection. The rest of the disciples became indignant. Talk about being distracted from impacting lives for the kingdom of God!

If I’m honest, I get distracted too. Sometimes I’m tempted to think that I can check the service box off my ridiculous what-good-Christians-do mental checklist. Yes, God has placed students in my life to serve them as Christ served. However they are not my only calling. My primary calling can be found in Mark 12:29-31:

 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

Yes, I must serve my students and my own children, two of whom have disabilities. However I must first love the Lord my God with everything in me. Out of that relationship, my ability to serve others will only become sweeter and deeper.

If you find the details of your career, life, or the care of your children are clouding your perspective, remember that impacting lives for the kingdom of God is your most important goal on earth. Your co-workers, precious children, relatives, and friends all need you to be a servant pointing the way to Jesus. Maybe like me, you’re getting overwhelmed by details that are crowding out that goal. If so, take time to refocus today and set your mind on Christ.

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Kimberly grew up and went to college in the small town of Upland, IN. She graduated from Taylor University with a degree in Elementary Education in 2002. While at TU, she married her college sweetheart and so began their adventure! Ryan and Kimberly have four amazing kids on earth (Abigail, Jayden, Ellie, and Cooper), and a baby boy waiting for them in heaven. Their daughter Abigail (Abbey) has multiple disabilities including cerebral palsy, a seizure disorder, hearing loss, microcephaly, and oral dysphagia. She is the inspiration behind Kimberly’s  desire to write. In addition to being a stay at home mom, Kimberly has been serving alongside her husband in full time youth ministry for almost fourteen years. She enjoys working with the senior high girls, scrapbooking, reading, and music. You can visit Kimberly at her website, Promises and Perspective.

Author Jolene Philo

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I Can’t Do This By Myself!

I Can’t Do This By Myself!

by | Sep 27, 2021 | Different Dream, Self-Care and Stress, Spiritual Support

I Can’t Do This By Myself!

He already knew how to tie his shoes when he held them on his lap. He was struggling to tie them when they were on his feet.

My situation wasn’t all that different from his.

I had used Blackboard to design the college class I was about teach for the first time ever. But I was struggling with the platform while interacting with students and grading their work.

I stared at the computer screen, baffled by all the buttons, wondering which one to click. “I can’t do this by myself!” I thought.

That’s the moment when I remembered my grandson uttering those words as he stared at the untied shoe on his foot. “Grammy, I can’t do this by myself.”

“I’m right here,” I assured him as we sat together on the couch. “I’ll stay right here until you’ve got it down pat.”

A few minutes later, he was off, eager to show he parents how he could put his shoes on and tie them all by himself.

I stared at the computer screen unsure. Scared to fail. Unwilling to click one of the many buttons before me. My immobility was similar to what I sometimes experienced while raising a child with special needs, when every day brought a new obstacle.

A new setback.
A new illness.
A new search for resources and doctors.
A new solution for our child’s medical condition.

To read the rest of I Can’t Do This By Myself, visit Key Minstry’s blog for special needs parents.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon.

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First World Problems and Caregiving Problems

First World Problems and Caregiving Problems

by | Aug 18, 2021 | Different Dream, Spiritual Support

First World Problems and Caregiving Problems

First world problems and caregiving problems are dominating my life right now. They’ve made re-entry after a month-long trip to celebrate my husband’s retirement rather rocky. Here are a few examples of what’s been happening.

The installation of our new heating and cooling system required punching numerous holes in our walls. The work was supposed to be completed while we were gone, but won’t be done for weeks or possibly months. 

That’s a first world problem.

Hospice re-evaluated my mother after she had bouts of major confusion and agitation while we were gone, but she still doesn’t qualify for their services.

That’s a caregiving problem.

The morning after a heavy rain, we discovered a leak in the new addition just as a workman came to deal with a backed up basement drain.

First world problem followed by first world problem.

My mother keeps asking when she gets to move in with us. I keep telling her that as long as work delays continue and our walls are pocked with holes, it’s not safe for her to move in.

That’s a caregiving problem solved by a first world problem.

That final confluence of first world problems and caregiving problems got me thinking about how they’ve impacted my life in the past.

Our newborn son’s condition at birth was an age old problem. His diagnosis and surgery at birth caused a host of complications and subsequent surgeries. Those complications were first world problems. 

Had our son been born in a different country, not to mention in a different day and age, he wouldn’t be alive today. In other words, first world solutions for his condition caused first world problems and caregiving problems that our family dealt with for years. During those years, all my thoughts, all life revolved around my son.

To read the rest of First World Problems and Caregiving Problems visit the Hope Anew website.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon.

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Finding True Rest as a Caregiver

Finding True Rest as a Caregiver

by | Aug 3, 2021 | Different Dream, Spiritual Support

Finding True Rest as a Caregiver

Finding true rest as a caregiver is an elusive quest. Yet, as guest blogger Heather Johnson has discovered, it is also an essential pursuit. Today she describes where she goes when she needs true rest as a caregiver. 

A cedar tree trunk, its branches stripped, serves as a railing along the stairs to our master bedroom. I welcome its invitation to help me pull myself up. I am tired. Bone tired. My back and legs ache.

 Once in bed, I feel the cotton sheets and the cool night breeze wafting in from the nearby window. I sigh, exhaling this day’s work. I need physical rest.

 Though my body begs for sleep, my mind defies the plea. The hamster wheel inside my head spins with thoughts. Not worrisome thoughts. Just thoughts. I toss and turn, praying my mind goes blank. I need mental rest. I need the peace that comes with finding true rest as a caregiver.

 As an empty-nest mother of three kids in their twenties with multiple special needs, you’d think my load would be lighter by now. But parents like me know differently. Our parenting work is never done. In some ways, parenting adult children with special needs can be more complicated when they’re not under our roof anymore. There are adult caregivers to secure. There are more meetings to attend. There are attorneys to draft special needs trusts so our kids will have funds for their care that they can’t manage on their own. We get weary. But we press forward because of love and try not to worry. I need soul rest. I think I need soul rest more than any other kind.

 I need to know the weight of our kids’ needs doesn’t depend completely on me and my husband or even other human caretakers. I need to know there’s a love so large, so expansive, so perfect, that will hold our kids and help them long after I’m gone.

 How do you find rest for your body, mind, and soul? How do you know in your bones that all will be well?

 For me, I turn to Genesis—to the beginning—and read about God who created, who called everything he created “good”, and who rested afterward. Why did God rest if God doesn’t get tired? I wonder if God’s rest was time to survey—time and space to say “it is good.” I wonder if “good” in our daily lives can mean “good enough” because we aren’t perfect. Maybe “good enough” is good enough?

 In a culture that implies we never do enough, that we never have enough, that we never are enough, that we’re never good enough, our souls are at-risk. These cultural messages, if absorbed, make us weary and worried. Our souls begin to wither. We forget who we are and what we really need—to know we’re never alone, that we’re perfectly loved, that our loved ones will be looked after and loved always. Our soul needs a deep well of refreshing truth to counter our culture. We can take frequent, cool drink from the well of truth that never dries and say until our thirst is quenched:

 “Today, I did enough, I have enough, I am enough.”

 For me, meditating on particular scriptures is where I find rest for my body, mind and soul. For example:

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  Matthew 11:28-30

 Will you practice saying to yourself, “good enough”? Will you pursue finding true rest as a caregiver? Will you practice delighting in all you do? Will you find your own soul rest? What would that be? 

A walk in the woods or some other nature setting. 
Unplugging from screens. 
Practicing meditation/mindfulness. 

All are scientifically proven to improve physical and mental health. Whatever you choose, true rest revitalizes body, mind, and spirit. And when we’re truly rested in all three ways, we are better able to love our children, whatever their ages and needs, because we will be loving ourselves well first.

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Heather MacLaren Johnson and her husband have three kids, all five and under when adopted from Russia. Now 29, 27, and 22, all need regular help with their multiple, permanent, invisible disabilities stemming from prenatal exposure to alcohol (FASD).

Heather has B.S. in Education and a doctorate in Clinical Psychology. She is the author of Grace, Truth, & Time: Facilitating Small Groups That Thrive and has published personal essays in The Wonder Years: 40 Women Over 40 on Aging, Faith, Beauty, and Strength (Kregel Publications) and Your Story Matters: Finding, Writing, and Living the Truth of Your Life (NavPress). She’s writing a memoir about her family’s journey through hidden disabilities and mental illness to encourage others to greater intimacy with God and each other through times of desolation and lament.

Heather and her husband of 27 years live with two horses, two dogs, two barn cats, and a bunch of silk plants she just dusts. Heather writes and photographs at www.truelifewithgod.com.

Author Jolene Philo

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Learning to Embrace a Special Life

Learning to Embrace a Special Life

by | Apr 13, 2021 | Different Dream, Grief, Spiritual Support, Uncategorized

Learning to Embrace a Special Life

Learning to embrace a special life as the parent of a child with a disability is a journey. New guest blogger, Kristin Faith Evans, describes the spiritual crisis that brought her to acceptance and shares 4 practices that bring her joy and peace.

Beginning My Unexpected Journey

As long as I could remember, I had believed in God and trusted Him. Nothing could shake my faith—or so I believed. We thought we had it all. My husband, Todd, was in his third year of serving as the Director of Youth Ministries, our son’s health and developmental progress were stabilizing with his extremely rare genetic disorder, and we had just discovered that I was pregnant with our second child. We felt so blessed by God. Then, I would begin a journey that took me through a nightmare pregnancy and delivery; learning that our daughter, Bethany Grace, had sporadically developed a more-severe genetic disorder called Cri du Chat Syndrome; three months in the NICU; the continual battle to save both of our children’s lives; then my dark crisis of faith and long war with severe depression and anxiety.

Obsessing with Finding Answers

Shortly after Bethany Grace’s homecoming from the NICU, I become overwhelmed by the stress, anxiety, grief, and guilt. I spiraled into a deep pit of depression and began to walk through a dark, terrifying wilderness of spiritual anguish. Doubt. Anger. Disillusionment. My life-long faith that I had naively believed was unshakable had easily shattered. I was desperate to understand and find answers that made sense to me. How could God be sovereign and benevolent, and at the same time allow my daughter and son to suffer like this? Why is he letting all this happen to our family?

The more I questioned, the further I distanced myself from God, and the more powerful the grip of depression grew. “But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, ‘You are my God’” (Psalms 31:14, ESV). I could no longer bring myself to utter this prayer. I found myself not even wanting to go to church anymore.

Discovering What Faith Is to Me

Sitting on my therapist’s couch, her questions helped me realize that I had a choice to make. I could continue to fight reality and be angry with God, trudging on through each day miserable; or I could release the need to find answers or understand. Two days later, I found myself hiking through the woods where I came upon a shimmering lake. The colors reflecting off the boulders created a magnificent scene. How could God create something so good and beautiful but allow darkness and pain? Then it hit me—Is this what faith is? I don’t understand how God could be good and have allowed our family to endure all of this suffering, but I let go of the need to know. I embrace the mystery of faith. “I trust you, God.” I finally began to understand and discover deep meaning and purpose in my life. I began Learning to embrace a special life, to be free to sing a new and joyful song throughout my days. Now, I am not saying that when I grew in my trust in God that my depression resolved on its own. I still had to work very hard in therapy. But letting go of the need for answers freed my soul and lightened my heart which helped me in my recovery from depression. I also began to depend on God on my journey to wholeness and healing.

So, how does learning to embrace a special life cultivate joy each day?

I have found that sometimes experiencing joy takes making a choice, despite how difficult and painful my circumstances are that day. These four practices have helped me live in a more joyful mood throughout most days:

  1. Living in gratitude for each new day (even if I can only find one thing to be thankful for)
  2. Trusting God’s good promises to me in Scripture
  3. Remembering all the times that God has helped my family and blessed us
  4. Fully enjoying the little moments

I hope that you, too, are learning to embrace a special life in deeper ways and find joy on your unique journey.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Kristin lives with her husband, Todd, and their two children in the Nashville, TN area. As an author and mental health therapist, her greatest passion is walking with others on their journey to deeper emotional, psychological, and spiritual wholeness. As both her children have rare genetic disorders, Kristin especially loves supporting other parents of children with special needs. She hopes that you may find encouragement and support through her two websites and blogs, www.KristinFaithEvans.com and www.SpecialNeedsMomsBlog.com.

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Jesus Cares about the Small Things

Jesus Cares about the Small Things

by | Feb 22, 2021 | Different Dream, Spiritual Support

Jesus Cares about the Small Things

“Jesus cares about the small things.”

I could almost hear the voice speaking into my heart. That was weird for me because I can count on one hand the number of times when God has spoken to me that manner. The number ticked up by one while I read John 2:1-12 during my morning Bible study.

John 2 includes the account of Jesus turning water into wine during the wedding at Cana. My study Bible contains few cross-references or much commentary about this passage, which is problematic to many in the Christian community.

First there’s Mary pestering her son to do something when the wine runs out. It’s the kind of thing moms do, but Jesus’ response shows that one of the parents of God’s own Son was imperfect and very human.

Then there’s Jesus turning water into wine. That’s a miracle the anti-alcohol branches of the Christianity wishes John had edited out of his gospel.

Finally, there’s Jesus going to a wedding. This indicates His approval of marriage. Some believers have a hard time reconciling that truth with Paul’s letters, which reveal he’s not a fan of the institution.

I was thinking about those problematic bits of John 2:1-12 when God spoke to my heart. “Jesus cares about the small things.” That simple truth allowed me to comprehend the passage in a new light.

I understood that Jesus sees the humanity of mothers and grants them a special grace.
I understood that He meets our needs abundantly and with excellence.
Best of all, I understood how Jesus loves to enter into our celebrations.

To read the rest of Jesus Cares about the Small Things, visit the Key Ministry blog for parents.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email.

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Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon.

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