Welcome back to you and to Different Dream’s special guest, Warren Pfohl. Warren’s back with the final post in his series about how his son’s struggle with Batten Disease led to the creation of David’s Refuge, a respite ministry for parents of children with special needs.

The David’s Refuge Story, Part 3

Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

I love how the New Living Translation translates the word handiwork. It says we are God’s masterpiece! And as His masterpiece He has created specific good works for us to accomplish. The million-dollar question of course, is what is that good work?

After David died, Brenda and I began to wrestle with this question. We looked at our life and asked ourselves in what way had God prepared us to accomplish something great for him. We started to jot down our discoveries:

• I was a recreation therapist in a psychiatric hospital
• Brenda was an occupational therapist
• I was a pastor for 15 years with my primary focus on caring
• For 15 years we cared for David and all his special needs
• We had built a home that had a private wing for David’s care
• We were empty nesters
• We had been cared for by many as we cared for David
• We had discovered true refuge in God despite the horrible suffering and loss of David

One day as we were sitting in our hot tub Brenda yells out, “I’ve got it! Let’s open up a refuge for parents who are full time caregivers of children with special needs or whose child is struggling with a life-threatening disease. Let’s pour love and hope into their lives so they can continue to pour life and hope into their own children.”

David’s Refuge was born!

We converted David’s wing into a private bed and breakfast where we invite parents to get away and be recharged. They stay at no cost to themselves. This is a picture of God’s grace. We give them $50 to go out on a date. We offer them a spa service such as a massage or manicure or pedicure. We care for the caregiver! We tell each of our guests that our prayer for them is that they will leave knowing three things:

• They are not alone
• They do matters
• God loves them.

We believe God has loved us with an extravagant love so we let them know that while they are at David’s Refuge we are going to love on them with extravagance.

Because we have grown so quickly, we are now running David’s Refuge in existing bed and breakfasts and inns. This allows us to serve more than one couple at a time. We have also raised up a team of hosts, volunteers who help us carry out the mission of David’s Refuge. These are parents who have had their own children with special needs or fatal diseases and are willing to be vulnerable and serve our guests by sharing their own stories. This new strategy will allow us to grow David’s Refuge without having to invest huge amounts of money in capital expenditures.

You see, David’s story isn’t finished!  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. He is still working on all of his Masterpieces.

Wonderful story of encouragement, isn’t it? Feel free to leave your words of encouragement for Warren and Brenda in the comment box below.

The David’s Refuge Story, Part 1
The David’s Refuge Story, Part 2

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Yesterday, Different Dream special guest Warren Pfohl introduced us to his son David. Today, Warren is back with a second post in the series that tells the story of how David’s life led to the creation of David’s Refuge, a respite ministry for parents of kids with special needs.

The David’s Refuge Story, Pt. 2: It Is Well With My Soul

At his funeral, over 1,000 people joined us in singing one of David’s favorite hymns, “It Is Well with My Soul.” I’m sure there were some there who thought, “Are you serious? David is dead. For thirteen years Batten Disease robbed him of every ability he had and we are singing that all is well?” But at the same time there were hundreds upon hundreds who sang with total confidence that it is well for David, and it is well for Warren and Brenda despite the fact that David was no longer with us. I still can’t sing the song or think of the words and not tear up.

How can it be well?

• Because I believe with all my heart that “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are God’s ways higher than my ways and His thoughts than my thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:9)
• Because God has a plan for David and for me. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
• Because I believe and know that God will use David’s death and suffering to produce something great. (Romans 8:28)
• Because this is not the end!  I will see David again. (1 Corinthians 15)

If you open up David’s Fayetteville Manlius High School yearbook you will find the following words under his picture, “Whatever my lot Thou has taught me to say, It is well with my soul.” For weeks before the yearbook deadline, we had tried to help him choose a quote. But David was never satisfied and was unable to clearly communicate what he wanted. The day finally came when his quote was due.  Donna Richards, his vision specialist, tried desperately to understand what David was trying to communicate. Unfortunately, all he could come up with were a couple words:

River, Soul, Well

Donna called me and asked is this one of David’s favorite Bible verses? Being the seminary trained pastor that I am I said, “I have no idea!” I encouraged her to google it. When she did, she found the words to the hymn, It Is Well with My Soul, written by Horatio Spafford.  She started reading the hymn to him.  When she got to the line, Whatever my lot Thou hast taught me to say, It is well with my soul, David yelled, “That’s it! That’s it! That’s what I want!”

We engraved these words on the top of David’s gravestone. They are a reminder to everyone who passes by that David’s story isn’t finished. They remind me that God is still in control and that from the ashes of David’s struggle with life and death God could bring something good from his life.

Sorry I forgot to tell you this post came with a tissue warning! Come back tomorrow to read about how David’s death led to the birth of the respite ministry, David’s Refuge.

The David’s Refuge Story, Part 1
The David’s Refuge Story, Part 3

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop-up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

This week Different Dream welcomes a special guest, Warren Pfohl. Warren and his wife Brenda head David’s Refuge, a respite ministry for parents of kids with special needs. For the next three days, Warren shares the story of how the respite ministry came into being. Today, Warren introduces us to their son, David.

The David’s Refuge Story, Pt. 1: Eleven Little Words

“Your son has Batten Disease.  It is untreatable and always fatal.”  It’s amazing how eleven little words can flip your world, faith, and life upside down.  Little did we know the journey we were about to embark on.

David was born on November 2, 1988 as a normal healthy little boy.  He was full of life, mischief, and joy.  He was an expert at annoying his older brother Christopher and a play buddy for his younger brother Daniel.

In late February 1997, two months after we returned from Poland as missionaries, David began to have difficulty seeing. Within a matter of weeks he lost all of his central vision and some of his peripheral. For two years we searched for a diagnosis and treatment for David’s vision loss.  We ended up at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, MD where a German doctor diagnosed him with Neuronal Ceroid Lipofuscinosis, or Batten.  It was there we heard those eleven little words.

Amazingly, those eleven little words helped answer a huge question I had been struggling with God over.  As I mentioned we had just returned from Poland as missionaries.  We had spent six years there learning the language and developing a team to start a church.  Everything was going great.  We were committed for the long haul—well, that is until my wife’s health crashed.  Brenda became gravely ill and we were forced to return to America.

We felt like failures.  For the first time in my life I doubted God’s purpose and plan for my life.  Why would he send us to Poland, have us learn the language, and start the first few baby steps in planting a church to then take it all away?  I felt as if God had grabbed me by the hair and flung me back to America with no job and no idea of what I was going to do.

And then I heard those eleven little words. My perspective was changed.  Instead of seeing God as arbitrary and mean, I saw how He graciously used Brenda’s health to move us from Poland to America, to place us in the best school district for children with special needs, and to give me a job as a pastor in a church that supported us and cared for us as we cared for David.  God had a plan all along.  Even before David was born God knew he had Batten Disease.  He had a plan for David’s life and He had a plan for our life and He was teaching us to trust Him even when it didn’t make sense.  Isaiah 55:9 became our go to verse.

For the next thirteen years we cared for David, loved David, and watched God’s plan for David’s life live itself out in living color.  And despite those eleven words, were able to say at the end of David’s life, It is Well with Our Souls!

Warren and Brenda would love to meet you and your child with special needs. So go ahead and introduce your family in the comment box if you like.

The David’s Refuge Story, Part 2
The David’s Refuge Story, Part 3

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop-up box and the second at the bottom of this page.