Special Needs Holiday Lesson 1: Simplicity

Special Needs Holiday Lesson 1: Simplicity

by | Nov 25, 2013 | Different Dream, Holidays, Special Needs Parenting

Special Needs Holiday Lesson 1: Simplicity

With Thanksgiving almost here and Christmas not far behind, guest blogger Rebekah Benimoff is gearing up for the holidays. As the parent of two boys with special needs and a husband with PTSD, she’s learned valuable lessons about managing the holidays. Today’s post is the first installment of a three-part series about how she makes the holidays enjoyable for her family.

Special Needs Holiday Lesson 1: Simplicity

This time of year, it is easy to get sucked into the whirlwind of activity, and especially to be ransacked by perfectionism. The holiday season can be especially stressful for families with special needs.  I work all year long to care for my special needs family, and the holidays sometimes seem to offer only a flurry of more things to do. I lose sight of the reason for the season when I get caught up in perfectionism and people pleasing.

It creeps in, and often I do not even realize it. I think, “I am just trying to meet all my family’s needs.” Yet quite often it’s not necessary to bombard my already full plate with EVEN MORE.  For example, I may think that my son with a gluten intolerance MUST have an entire menu of homemade (from scratch) gluten free options for Every. Single. Extended Family Gathering. But the truth is, he is okay with just bringing along his favorite gluten free foods from our nearest health conscious grocery store.

Special Needs Holiday Lesson 1, for me, is that sometimes what I think I have to do is motivated by that inner drive of perfection, when simplicity meets the needs just as well, while encouraging my own peace of mind. I don’t have to do all and be all. My husband and kids will be better served if I let go of the extraneous, and so will I–even if our life does not look like something out of a magazine.

How do you encourage simplicity during the holiday season? Leave a comment.

Special Needs Holiday Lesson, Part 2
Special Needs Holiday Lesson, Part 3

Photo Credit: www.freedigitalphotos.net

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Rebekah Benimoff is the wife of a husband with PTSD and the mother of two young men, both of whom grew up with medical and special needs. She blogs at In the Chaos…. and In the Calm (justmemama.blogspot.com).

Author Jolene Philo

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Find Special Needs Accessible Playgrounds Near You

Find Special Needs Accessible Playgrounds Near You

by | Nov 19, 2013 | Books and Resources, Different Dream, Special Needs Parenting

Find Special Needs Accessible Playgrounds Near You

Special needs accessible playgrounds are on the increase. Why? Because last year the federal government made access to play areas a civil right under the Americans with Disabilities Act. The law applies to playgrounds built or altered after March 14, 2012.

Accessible Playgrounds and Parents

In August, National Public Radio (NPR) ran a story about how the federal law is making a difference in the lives of kids with special needs. This quote from the story shows the power of parents and advocates in the special needs community:

But as NPR sought to explore the effects of the new rules, it found that parents and advocates are making the real difference — not the federal government. The higher cost of “inclusive” playgrounds means many local governments can’t afford them. And in places that do offer the kind of shared playing experience contemplated by the ADA, a group of frustrated parents is typically behind it all.

Now, doesn’t that give your sense of frustration an element of purpose? As the article goes on to say, when parents of kids get frustrated, things get done.

To read the entire article, which is definitely worth a read, visit For Kids with Special Needs, More Places to Play.

 

Give a Shout Out to an Accessible Playground You Know About

Know of a great accessible playground? Give it a shout out in the comment box below. Thanks!

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Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly with Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon. The first book in her cozy mystery series, See Jane Run!, features people with disabilities.

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Mom’s Confession: I Have Special Needs, Too!

Mom’s Confession: I Have Special Needs, Too!

by | Nov 18, 2013 | Different Dream, Self-Care and Stress, Special Needs Parenting

Mom’s Confession: I Have Special Needs, Too!

 

Guest blogger Becky Hallberg says kids with special needs aren’t the only people who have special needs. Parents of kids with special needs have some specific N.E.E.D.S., too. In this post, she explains what those N.E.E.D.S. are.

I Have Special Needs Too!

As the parent to a special needs child, I am always considering my child’s needs in every situation. I need to know if he’ll be safe in a given situation, or if he will need extra help or accommodations. As I walk this journey, though, I’m noticing something different—I have special needs, too.

The term “special needs” doesn’t have to be used to describe just one type of people. Rather, I believe we all have special needs and they vary from person to person. Sometimes our special needs are, indeed, related to areas where our kids need extra help and support. Other times, though, I think we need to use the term “special needs” a little more often to celebrate our uniqueness.

As we started this journey with our son, I was able to note some special needs in my own life. These were areas where I needed extra help and support. They were:

N—a Name for what my guy was struggling with.  When we started this journey, I knew that there may or may not be a name for what my child struggled with. We continued to pursue every avenue available to us to make sure we were meeting all the different aspects of his needs. It turns out that what he struggles with does have a name, and that makes it easier to work with him, as we know what direction to take.

E—Empathy helped so much, to be able to find those walking a similar path, to pray together, to share successes, to protect one another when we were in the trenches. These people understood the “how’s” and “whys” of my daily life and could truly “get us” as a family and could understand me as a mom.

E—Encouragement sometimes came in the form of growth we saw in our son. Other times, encouragement came from the simple smile of another mom who seemed to know, innately, what I was struggling with as my child crumpled under the weight of another meltdown.

D—Daily Strength and other days Down Time. Daily strength took on a whole new meeting as I struggled through parenting a child with special needs. Down time became so important, as I learned the necessity of taking care of myself as well.

S—Savior. We all need a Savior, don’t we? We need someone bigger, stronger, more powerful, to take our burdens to. We need someone who can hold the pieces of our world when it seems like all is falling apart.

These were my “special needs” as I started on the journey of parenting my child with special needs.  When I look at my needs, in light of my child’s needs, there aren’t very many differences.

  • My son thrives when he can name things—his emotions and feelings, his plan for the day, his needs and wants.
  • He has a need for empathy—for those who are in his life to really know and understand how *he* functions in life.
  • He needs encouragement—and really, who doesn’t?  He responds best to kind words, thoughtful deeds, and a reminder that he is loved!
  • He seems to have an extra dose of daily strength—I’d love to bottle some of his energy! But he definitely benefits from down time, from time to rest, to be able to do his own thing, to not have to live inside anyone’s therapy rules or school constraints.
  • And, he needs a Savior—This is the one I’m most excited about, out of this list of NEEDS. He seems to have a deep love for Jesus and he is beginning to share this with others, particularly his therapists.  How amazing is that?!  I hope to instill techniques into his life that will help him succeed in life, and somehow, by God’s grace, we have managed to instill a deep love for God.  He’s taking that love and sharing his Savior with those in his circle of influence. Amazing!

Special needs. We all have them, and when we’re honest about what they are, it doesn’t seem that they apply just to a particular group of people. Special needs aren’t based on ability, IQ, or any other measure the world uses. Special needs are based on the fact that, at the end of the day, we’re all human, and we were made to need a Savior. That is the most innate special need that we all have.

What are your needs? How do your needs compare to your child’s needs? Sometimes it helps to take our eyes off of ability, test scores, necessary accommodations, and just remember that our one, true, special need is Jesus! Dear friend, do you know Him?

What Special Needs Do You Have Today?

What special needs are you struggling to meet today? Leave a comment so we can pray for you.

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Author Jolene Philo

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Special Needs Travel: Just Do It

Special Needs Travel: Just Do It

by | Nov 15, 2013 | Different Dream, Holidays, Special Needs Parenting

Special Needs Travel: Just Do It

The holidays are upon us, and for many families that means traveling season has arrived. Guest blogger Kimberly Drew is back with advice about how to travel with kids who have special needs.

Special Needs Travel: Just Do It

Travel? YUCK!

Twelve and a half hours in a car, approximately 6 children’s movies, 4 stops, 2 meals, countless snacks, and 600 plus miles of road stand between me and the house I grew up in. When my husband and I started dating during college, we could do the trip between Indiana and New Jersey in 10 1/2 hours. Now that we have three kids, we laugh about those days.

Although, my competitive husband still likes to do whatever he can to shave off the minutes.

We moved out near my husband’s family in New Jersey when Abbey was around 18 months old. We’ve been racking up the miles on our vehicles ever since. I’m not just motivated by the faces of my family members and the miles and miles of corn waiting for me, sometimes you just need to get away. How about you? Do you need to get away? I encourage you to just do it.

Just do it.

Don’t let the challenges keep you from going home, going on vacation, going somewhere new, going anywhere! Life is too short to keep a checklist of things that make it too difficult to take a road trip. There are places to explore, sights to see, and memories to make with your family that are only a few hours away. I know that taking a child with special needs in a car for any amount of time requires planning, but it’s worth sitting down and making a checklist. I’ll get you started—a piece of paper, a pencil, a destination.

There you go, you can thank me later!

In all seriousness, it’s so worth it to get away. I know our daughter thrives on routine, but sometimes that routine can make me feel like I’m going crazy. The walls of my house start to close in on me and I feel trapped. We have even gone just a few hours from home to get a hotel room and do nothing. We swam in the pool, ordered pizza to the room, and watched TV in bed. Maybe that sounds like a lot of work for just two days and one night, but for us it was a much-needed break. Not to mention, my husband and I always have the best heart-to-heart talks while in the car on a trip.

With a little extra planning, maybe you and your family could take a small road trip this fall?

If just the thought of going somewhere overwhelms you, it’s probably all the more important that you get away. Maybe start with just your spouse, or one of your parents, or a best friend. Work up to a trip with your child, but don’t delay getting away. It’s so good for your mind and body to have a break.

Just do it.

What’s Your Special Needs Travel Story?

How do you handle travel with your child who has special needs? Leave a comment with your best tricks and tips.

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Kimberly grew up and went to college in the small town of Upland, IN. She graduated from Taylor University with a degree in Elementary Education in 2002. While at TU, she married her college sweetheart and so began their adventure! Ryan and Kimberly have four amazing kids on earth (Abigail, Jayden, Ellie, and Cooper), and a baby boy waiting for them in heaven. Their daughter Abigail (Abbey) has multiple disabilities including cerebral palsy, a seizure disorder, hearing loss, microcephaly, and oral dysphagia. She is the inspiration behind Kimberly’s desire to write. In addition to being a stay-at-home mom, Kimberly has been serving alongside her husband in full time youth ministry for almost fourteen years. She enjoys working with the senior high girls, scrapbooking, reading, and music. You can visit Kimberly at her website, Promises and Perspective.

Author Jolene Philo

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Fitness and Exercise in Kids with Special Needs

Fitness and Exercise in Kids with Special Needs

by | Nov 13, 2013 | Different Dream, School/Education, Special Needs Parenting

Fitness and Exercise in Kids with Special Needs

Today’s guest blogger is Seth McNew, a fitness and exercise coach. He’s here to offer ideas about how parents can encourage children to become more active and stay fit.

Childhood obesity rates are growing at a dangerous rate, with one out of every three kids in America considered overweight. This is not just in the United States, this epidemic is in Canada, Australia, the U.K., and many other countries around the world.

Fitness and Exercise for Kids with Special Needs

Now apply this to the community of kids with special needs. With little research and nutrition data available specific to special needs exercise, and it being much harder for to participate in organized sports and group physical activities for many reasons, it’s no wonder that the rate of obesity is even higher among this population than in the general public.

However, through targeted exercise and play ideas, as well as healthy habit creation, we can change stereotypes and statistics and get our kids fit, healthy, and happy. This is not about special diets or one-stop cure-all exercises. This is about finding fun and motivating ways to exercise, with activities for special needs children.

Fitness and Exercise Sample Activity

Here is one example of a simple and fun exercise to do at home:

The Bear Crawl: Animal moves are a favorite for all kids and easy to learn. Start by bending forward and lowering the hands to the ground. Then, try to keep the legs straight as he or she shuffles back and forth across the room. Make it fun by growling like a bear! The more fun the activity, the more reinforced the movements will be. See similar activities for special needs children in this post.

Other Fitness and Exercise Activities and Resources

Do you and your child have favorite activities to encourage fitness and exercise? Do you know of other good resources on this topic? Please share them in the comment box!

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I’m Seth McNew. I’m fortunate that I get the amazing opportunity to work with this incredible population and help our community to reach better fitness goals, encouraging lifelong health in kids with special needs. As a long-time youth sports coach, as well as a certified personal trainer, I have been working in athletics and fitness all of my life. During my early days of fitness instruction, I was asked to help with a local elementary school’s special needs class to facilitate an exercise program. I saw a need and a possibility and have been running the Play Through Autism program since then. Check out this video to learn more. I hope that you will be able to use this resource to acquire some fitness techniques and ideas that will help you and your child to exercise.

Author Jolene Philo

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IEPs, Sports, and Kids with Special Needs

IEPs, Sports, and Kids with Special Needs

by | Nov 11, 2013 | Different Dream, School/Education, Special Needs Parenting

IEPs, Sports, and Kids with Special Needs

Today, I’m happy to introduce my friend and guest blogger Naomi Norris. She’s here to share how she and her son’s school used IEPs to encourage her son to get involved in his middle school cross country team. If you read the story and would like to leave a comment for Naomi below, it will be passed on to her.

I was very proud as I read the digits on the official timer as each runner crossed the finish line…18 minutes, 10 seconds. That’s his best time yet! His first time was over 27 minutes because he had stopped to scream at his aide a couple of times and had a fit over some bugs flying around. This was a good time, and though he had stopped twice, he finished ahead of over forty other boys.

My son, Joshua, was born with a severe Pierre Robin Sequence, which caused him to be trached and tube-fed for his first 3 years of life while he underwent a series of corrective surgeries. He used a walker for 1 1/2 years and is small for his age. Josh is both autistic and mentally-challenged, requiring a full-time aide at school. Though he has these weaknesses in his life, he has an incredible personality that people love.

Until this fall, Josh had ridden the bus home each day after school, only to play video games and watch PBS until bedtime. Last spring I became concerned over this pattern developing in him. So when it was time to write a new IEP, I decided to include cross country in it. At the time, my husband was not on board with the idea. But the school agreed, and when the 7th grade cross country team assembled this fall, Josh Norris was on it. The only glitch was finding the right aide to run beside him. We knew of a young man who plays soccer and runs to stay in shape and asked if he would be willing to volunteer. He agreed, was approved by the school, and goes to every practice and meet with Josh. He is allowed to run with Josh in the meets, and even hold onto his arm or hand to lead him along. The goal is that by ninth grade, Josh will run independently and even be an asset to the team.

Josh was not happy about the change in his routine. He fought with his aide, hitting and kicking and throwing fits for the first week of practice. And did I mention his bug phobia? Dragonflies are especially terrifying to him, so he would rather stay indoors. Even so, after the first week, he started to enjoy being on the team. The other boys and coaches treat him well and seem to enjoy him. At one meet, he became irritable and upset halfway through, giving his aide some trouble. I watched as a young teammate ran alongside him, put his arm over his shoulders, and ran with him until he calmed down. Josh finished the race and even passed several boys before the finish line. Needless to say, Dad is now on board!

A woman approached us wanting to meet Josh after one race. She works for another school district and wanted to know how we got the school to agree to this. She fought for autistic kids in her district to be able to participate in school sports and lost. I told her to have the parents request it in the IEP. The school will be more likely to comply if it’s there. There’s always a way to make it work.  Parents sometimes forget that they need to fight for their kids’ legal rights. Our school was very happy to make it happen for Josh, and we are grateful.

Final Note: For any parents struggling to raise your autistic child, I want to encourage you not to give up hope. Josh is my third child with autism. My oldest daughter couldn’t speak until she was 5, graduated high school with honors, and is now doing well in college. My 14-year-old son with autism struggled with horrible outbursts of profanity for years. He just started his freshman year of high school without a one-on-one associate and is completely off medications for the first time. He has a 3.4 GPA and is on the football team. Now we are focusing in getting Josh on track for life.  We have always accepted our kids’ physical and emotional shortcomings, but have never underestimated them. Each child has had incredible strengths…these are what we have focused on, while continually teaching them self-discipline. Our children has been a wonderful gift from God, and we are grateful to Him for allowing us to have been their parents.

We don’t let autism ever get in the way of teaching them what’s really important in this life.

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Naomi Norris explains how she used IEPs to get her son with autism involved in cross country & how being on a sports team helped her son.

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Naomi Norris lives in Iowa with her husband Rob and their four children. She is a stay-at-home mom who sometimes works with her husband in their real estate investment business.  Her faith in Jesus Christ is first in her life, allowing her to be the mother and wife she has needed to be over the last 20 years. She has five children. Three of them have been diagnosed with autism and one died of a neurological cancer at age 3. Naomi and Rob have taken all their children overseas to expose them to different cultures and show them what true poverty looks like in the world. Naomi and her daughters are heavily involved in helping save the lives of orphans in Congo, Africa through orphan sponsorship and teaching orphans AIDS prevention.

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