Happy Special Needs Fourth of July!

Happy Special Needs Fourth of July!

Happy Special Needs Fourth of July!

 Photo Credit: nuttakit at www.freedigitalphotos.net

Guest blogger Kimberly Drew has learned a few things over the years about how to create a happy special needs Fourth of July for her daughter, Abbey, who lives with multiple special needs. Today, she offers three tips about how to craft good special needs fourth of July memories for the entire family.

Happy Special Needs Fourth of July!

I grew up in a small town and state where it is legal to buy and set off fireworks. Every year we had a cookout and then went to a neighboring town for a Fourth of July fireworks show. We followed up that show with sparklers and small fireworks to do as a family at home. I loved it! After a long night of celebration, we would collapse into bed and sleep in the next day. When I became a mom, this was a holiday I couldn’t wait to celebrate with my own children. It’s funny how something that seems so simple can turn into such a hurdle when you have a child with multiple disabilities.

Special Needs Fourth of July Tip #1

For starters, cookouts can be a nightmare for a child with chewing and swallowing problems. Abbey once had to have emergency surgery because she helped herself to a slice of watermelon at a friend’s house. Don’t even get me started on hot dogs and chips! Now we bring “Abbey safe” food with us wherever we go. Parents with children with food allergies understand this as well. The last way you want to spend your holiday is in an emergency room with worry and question weighing on your heart.

Special Needs Fourth of July Tip #2

If we can get past the cookout, we have to get through the fireworks show. A lot of children are extremely sensitive to the loud noises associated with a fireworks production. That doesn’t mean you have to skip the show, but it does mean you have to do some research about where you can park your car, or sit as a family that is far enough away to see the show without the big booms. The first few times we tried fireworks with Abbey she was terrified. We watched one year from the car, and now that she is older she loves them. This is true for a lot of kids. It’s nice to know some things they will outgrow!

Special Needs Fourth of July Tip #3

Last, we had to let go of fireworks at home. The last thing I need is a burn from a sparkler or an accidental fly away that she doesn’t have the reflexes to avoid! This was a happy memory for me, so I felt a little sad that we wouldn’t get to continue this tradition, but over time you learn to let go of the less important traditions in order to preserve the big ones. It helps that we eventually moved to a state where fireworks are illegal anyway. But if you are in a neighborhood like the one I grew up in, maybe you can just drive a little further away for the fireworks show so that your kiddos are too tired to think about it when they get home?

The good news is this: Holidays are going to look a little different in your house, but they can still be celebrated! Don’t stay home this Fourth of July!

Your Special Needs Fourth of July Tips

How does your family make a happy special needs Fourth of July for your family? Leave your ideas in the comment box.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Kimberly grew up and went to college in the small town of Upland, IN. She graduated from Taylor University with a degree in Elementary Education in 2002. While at TU, she married her college sweetheart and so began their adventure! Ryan and Kimberly have four amazing kids on earth (Abigail, Jayden, Ellie, and Cooper), and a baby boy waiting for them in heaven. Their daughter Abigail (Abbey) has multiple disabilities including cerebral palsy, a seizure disorder, hearing loss, microcephaly, and oral dysphagia. She is the inspiration behind Kimberly’s  desire to write. In addition to being a stay at home mom, Kimberly has been serving alongside her husband in full time youth ministry for almost fourteen years. She enjoys working with the senior high girls, scrapbooking, reading, and music. You can visit Kimberly at her website, Promises and Perspective.

Author Jolene Philo

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Elevators, Bathrooms, and Car Trunks

Elevators, Bathrooms, and Car Trunks

Elevators, Bathrooms, and Car Trunks

Elevators.
Bathrooms.
Car trunk.

What could those three random items possibly have in common? As it turns out, quite a lot for my 1960s family that included a father who had multiple sclerosis (MS) and used a wheelchair. Dad’s mobility was dependent upon wheelchair accessible…

Elevators

He loved department stores that had them. Because elevators meant he could join his wife and kids while we shopped for school clothes and shoes in August and Christmas shopped in December. Instead of sitting alone on the first floor until we were done. He loved buildings with them. Because elevators meant he could join the other men at meetings instead of waiting alone on the first floor until someone came down to tell him what was happening.

Bathrooms

Most bathroom doorways weren’t wide enough for Dad’s wheelchair. Even if he could get into the bathroom of a public building or home, they weren’t big enough maneuvering a wheelchair. Because MS made it hard for Dad to control his bladder for very long, Dad’s urinal went with him everywhere, discretely tucked in an old leather shaving kit. Can you imagine being a 30-year-old man forced to use a urinal while sitting in a wheelchair in a dark hallway? Can you imagine being the child assigned to stand guard against intruders and then carry the receptacle to the bathroom to empty? A few experiences like that, and a family stops going to those places.

Car Trunks

When car shopping, my parents’ first question to a salesperson was never about the engine or tires. Instead, they asked to see the interior of the trunk. Because it had to be big enough to hold a wheelchair so Mom could heft Dad’s wheelchair inside and get the family where we needed to go. Which is why we had a 1960 something Ford Fury. As the picture shows, Plymouth Furies had big trunks. Though ours was a blah beige rather than a lovely blue.

But why a post about elevators, bathrooms, and car trunks for parents of kids with special needs in 2014? A couple reasons.

To read the rest of this post, please visit the Not Alone website where Jolene’s guest blogging today.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon.

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How to Pick a Special Needs Baby Shower Gift

How to Pick a Special Needs Baby Shower Gift

How to Pick a Special Needs Baby Shower Gift

 Photo Credit: Stuart Miles at www.freedigitalphotos.net

Special needs baby showers could have their own unique twist if guest blogger Maggi Gale has anything to say about the matter. As an observer from across the pond, she has some advice about how to modify the  American custom of baby showers so parents of babies with special needs can enjoy them.

How to Pick a Special Needs Baby Shower Gift

The United States climbed from fifth place to rank the most generous country in the world, according to a recent global study, so says the Huffington Post (25th May 2014). I’m not surprised. As Brits living in East Africa, our American friends were some of the most generous people we’d ever met.

Baby Shower Generosity

However, I must admit that I was taken aback to receive some gifts for my baby before her birth. At the time, I wasn’t au fait with the American culture of “baby shower” before the baby’s birth.

Little did any of us know that our precious unborn baby was T.E.F. /O.A., and her birth was to throw our lives into turmoil such as we’d never experienced.

One of the presents I received that day was a Baby’s Firsts book. It was beautifully laid out, ready to receive baby’s first lock of hair after her first haircut, date of sighting of baby’s first tooth and records of baby’s first words.

Special Needs Baby’s Firsts

I never filled out one page in that book. Baby’s first year in our house was a dark tunnel for me. I thought cynically – why don’t I write a Baby’s Firsts book recording baby’s first stay in intensive care, baby’s first time we didn’t think she would make it through the night, and baby’s first 10 antibiotics before she became immune to them and needed something stronger?

How to Pick a Special Needs Baby Shower Gift

I love the American generous spirit. However, at the risk of being controversial, wouldn’t it be an idea to wait and see who and what God brings along before giving gifts? And remember, it might be that what’s actually required most is not cute clothes or toys. It might be a listening ear, a babysitter or a shoulder to cry on after a sleepless night. Keep up the generosity, everyone, and let’s look out for how and where it’s really needed.

Your Favorite Special Needs Baby Shower Gifts?

What do you think of Maggi’s observations about the American custom of baby showers? What meaningful special needs baby gifts were you given? Why did they mean so much? Leave a comment.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Maggi is a wife and mother of two daughters. She is a primary school teacher, having worked in Africa for 14 years before moving to the Middle East. Her passions are her animals and art. Her youngest daughter was born with tracheoesophageal fistula (TEF). This birth condition was to be the start of an arduous journey, impacting the whole family for several years. Through writing, she hopes to turn her experiences into encouragement for others on similar paths.

Author Jolene Philo

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Disability and Special Needs Are Part of Life

Disability and Special Needs Are Part of Life

Disability and Special Needs Are Part of Life

 Photo Credit: stock images at www.freedigitalphotos.net

A trip to the grocery store proved to Ellen Stumbo that disability and special needs are a part of life. In today’s guest post she describes how shopping with her daughters, two of whom have special needs, shows others that disabilities and special needs are a part of every day life.

Life with Disabilities: A Part of Life

I pushed a grocery cart, and behind me three little girls followed close by, each pushing a customer in training cart. We were the perfect display of a mother duck being followed by her little ducklings. We got smiles, waves, and many comments, “Looks like you got some little helpers with you today!” “How adorable!” On that trip, disability was inconsequential to our adoring audience.

Two of my daughters have obvious disabilities. My middle daughter has cerebral palsy, making it hard and clumsy for her to walk pushing a little cart. My youngest has Down syndrome, and what can I say, she’s a cute little rascal, but you can tell by looking at her face that she makes an extra chromosome look good.

But there we were, pushing our carts. Our little family parade. And don’t get me wrong, because grocery shopping with three girls is not one of my developed skills, nonetheless, I know we did more than shopping, we gifted plenty of smiles.

I was a frazzled mama trying to keep it together though.

“Nichole, watch where you are going!”

Thankfully we avoided all collisions, but we were close.

“Just a second girls, the walker just fell…again.”

I did my best to balance the walker on the bottom of the grocery cart.

When we arrived at the store, the girls went straight for the customer in training carts. My daughter with cerebral palsy wanted one too. I was not going to deprive her of the fun just because she needs a walker. It makes the trip more complicated, but it also makes her just one of the girls. The walker fell out more times than I wanted to reposition it. It got to be a frustration, but we just kept moving along. Nobody gets left out.

By the time we were half way done, my youngest was done pushing her cart and ready to ride in mine. I left her little cart in the middle of an aisle and let one of the workers know.

We checked out and Nina got her walker back, thank goodness! As we walked out of the store and headed to the car, a lady followed us.

“Excuse me.” She said, “I wanted to give you this.”

She handed me a grocery bag. “It’s for your girls. A thank you for making my day.”

I looked inside the bag and there was a bag a puffed corn. A bag Nichole had wanted to get and I’d said no to.

“Thank you!” I said.

“No, thank you.”

As we drove home I thought about our grocery store adventure. My little ducklings, and me, the frazzled mama. Disability was not invisible, but it wasn’t scary, and it wasn’t bad, and it wasn’t something to look away from. Disability was just a part of life. A mother shopping with her three girls. Disability was normal, because disability is part of life.

And every day we do this, as we do life, we show the world that disability is just a part of life. Disability happens. We balance the walker and sometimes it falls, perhaps more than we want it to, but we pick it up and keep on moving. And we can see people smile and recognize the pleasures of being a family, just a family, like everyone else. And sometimes, this is what it means to live life with disability.

Is Disability or Special Needs Part of Your Life?

Have disabilities and special needs become an integral part of your life? How did it happen? How has your attitude made disability more integral for others, too?

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Ellen Stumbo is a writer and speaker and the mother of three girls, two with disabilities. To read more of Ellen’s writing, visit her blog at www.EllenStumbo.com.  She can also be found on Twitter and Facebook.

Author Jolene Philo

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Teacher Gifts from Kids with Special Needs

Teacher Gifts from Kids with Special Needs

Teacher Gifts from Kids with Special Needs

 Photo Credit: Stuart Miles at www.freedigitalphotos.net

The end of the school year is almost here for guest blogger Kimberly Drew’s children. She’s been scratching her head, trying to think of teacher gifts for all those who work with her daughter, Abbey. All that thinking led to not only some low-cost gift ideas, but also to a mental pat on the back for all she does for her daughter when she’s at home on the weekends and during vacations.

Teacher Gifts from Children with Special Needs

Every year school winds up and I start thinking about teacher gifts. The thing of it is I can’t possibly give an end-of-the-year teacher gift to my child’s classroom teacher without including the classroom aides. They do so much for my child all day long, every day. Then, how do you give gifts to them without including all the therapists? They set goals and work with your child all year long!

Teacher Gifts: For the Special Ed Professional Masses

So now the list of gifts has gone from one to seven. While I’m at it, can I say that she has an amazing bus driver and crew who transport her safely from home to school and back? Now we are up to ten gifts and I start thinking in dollar signs. I’d like to give you a list of some of the things I have done in the past as gift ideas, but before that let me include one more person who deserves a pat on the back…

Parent Gift: A Pat on the Back

…It’s me. It’s ME! I’m laughing as I’m typing this and hoping you understand where I’m coming from. I was adding up all the gifts and it occurred to me, that while I’m not taking care of Abbey’s needs, it takes TEN other people to do it. TEN. Now hear me out, I’m not going to pretend that I could do their job while I’m on duty. They are specialized professionals who offer so much to my child that it makes my head spin just looking at the IEP envelope, let alone reading it! However, she is passed from one set of caregiving hands to another all day long. But when she walks through the door of our home, she’s all mine. I’m in charge of her health, her physical care, snuggles, play time, good night stories, and overall happiness. So today, I’m giving myself a pat on the back. I’ve decided to walk around today thinking, “I’m AWESOME!” If you know me at all, you know that I’m not exactly captain of the self-esteem-squad. But I’m feeling differently about myself today. Ten people do my job when I’m not around. TEN!

You should feel great too. I know it doesn’t always feel like we are a part of the “team” at IEP meetings, but I promise you, you are the MVP. If you don’t do your job well, the rest of it falls apart. So this year, I’m making up eleven thank you teacher gifts…ten for school, and one for me.

Teacher Gifts for Under Ten Dollars

Some of my favorite $10 or under end-of-the-year teacher gifts:

  1. A ceramic loaf pan with homemade banana bread
  2. A plastic reusable water bottle with straw and $5.00 gift card for coffee
  3. A beach towel, magazine, and sunscreen wrapped up with a bow
  4. A potted plant with gift cards sticking up out of floral picks
  5. Movie night bucket with a drink, popcorn, candy, and a movie from the $5.00 bin at Walmart

More adorable ideas for inexpensive teacher gifts are available on Pinterest.

What are Your Favorite End-of-the-Year Teacher Gifts?

What are your favorite end-of-the-year teacher gifts? Leave your suggestions in the comment box for people to use this year…or to get a head start on next year. Thanks!

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop-up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

 

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Kimberly grew up and went to college in the small town of Upland, IN. She graduated from Taylor University with a degree in Elementary Education in 2002. While at TU, she married her college sweetheart and so began their adventure! Ryan and Kimberly have four amazing kids on earth (Abigail, Jayden, Ellie, and Cooper), and a baby boy waiting for them in heaven. Their daughter Abigail (Abbey) has multiple disabilities including cerebral palsy, a seizure disorder, hearing loss, microcephaly, and oral dysphagia. She is the inspiration behind Kimberly’s  desire to write. In addition to being a stay-at-home mom, Kimberly has been serving alongside her husband in full time youth ministry for almost fourteen years. She enjoys working with the senior high girls, scrapbooking, reading, and music. You can visit Kimberly at her website, Promises and Perspective.

Author Jolene Philo

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Happy Father’s Day to Special Needs Dads

Happy Father’s Day to Special Needs Dads

Happy Father’s Day to Special Needs Dads

Father’s Day will be here on Sunday, so guest blogger Stephanie Ballard stopped by today to deliver a poem to honor dads of kids with special needs. Enjoy her words, and as is often the case with Steph’s writing, have a tissue handy.

A Father’s Heart on Father’s Day

A man walks through the double doors
His eyes tell quite a story
Although he has grown weary
He still gives God the glory.
His child lives within these walls
As many children do
Look high up on the sign, you’ll see
That it says…ICU.

The nurses nod as he walks in
And sets down all his things
Although he knows what to expect,
Somehow it always stings.
He bends to kiss his sleeping child
His hands stroking soft hair
And everyday the nurse can hear
This tired father’s prayer.

Lord, please watch my child today
And let him know you’re here
Give him strength so he can fight
And calm his every fear.
Wrap your arms around him
The way I wish I could.
Remind him just how much he’s loved
Remind him life is good.

I feel so very helpless
Not sure what I can do
I cannot even comprehend
The things that he’s been through.
Give me strength to fight for him
And help me understand
Help me to accept your will
No matter what the plan.
Lord, I know you’ll answer me
And yes, I know you care
Thanks again for hearing
One father’s heartfelt prayer.

If someone stopped to ask him
Are things going all right?
He’d feel no need to mention
He didn’t sleep all night.
If we were given just a glimpse
If we could see in part
What thoughts and hopes are there to find
Within this father’s heart?

A father’s voice…

My child was born fragile
Its my job to be strong
And tell my wife things will be fine
(And pray that I’m not wrong)
And still the bills need to get paid
And things need to be done
And it’s so hard just sitting here…
I want to hold my son!

I lean down as I watch him breathe
Keep fighting is my plea
I thought I’d teach you to be brave
But son, you have taught me.
I hear the beeping of machines
That help my child to live.
I wish that I could take his place.
There’s nothing that I wouldn’t give
To have the faith and strength I need
To hold back all my tears.
To say “I know he’ll be okay,”
Despite all of my fears.

I’ll only lose composure
When no one’s here to see
I will be the strong one
As I’m supposed to be.
A daddy says, “Come to my arms
I’ll chase all those monster’s away”
I cannot change God’s plan for him
But I can hope and pray.

A daddy needs to cry sometimes,
And God must see right through,
That tough daddy exterior…
For He’s a daddy too.

~Stephanie Ballard

Father’s Day Shout Out Time

Steph’s poem is a shout out to her husband. Now it’s your turn. Please feel free to leave a shout out in the comment box for the special needs father in your child’s life this Father’s Day.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Stephanie Ballard is the mother of two sons, her youngest son, Braeden, was born with Kabuki Syndrome and congenital heart defects. Her oldest son, Colin is in the military. She enjoys writing poetry and life lessons about her journey in life.

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