Alternative Halloween Ideas for Kids with Special Needs

Alternative Halloween Ideas for Kids with Special Needs

by | Oct 19, 2022 | Different Dream, Holidays, How-Tos

Alternative Halloween Ideas for Kids with Special Needs

Alternative Halloween ideas for kids with special needs are implemented more now than in the past. In the interest of spreading alternative Halloween love, guest blogger Mark Arnold shares 10 simple, sensible ideas.

While Halloween can be a fun time of year for many children, for many children with special needs it can be a confusing, anxiety-inducing, terrifying time. It doesn’t have to be like that if we have alternatives in place so they can safely join in the fun. Here are 10 helpful alternative Halloween ideas you can easily implement for kids with special needs.

          1. Prepare a visual timetable in advance so kids with special needs and disabilities know what is going to happen. This will help them to be less anxious about the holiday.
          2. Prime friendly neighbors who are known to your children. For example, ask the neighbors to have their outdoor lights on and a bucket of sweets or snacks ready for the children to enjoy safely. Prepare the children to sing their favorite song as a thank you.
          3. Go for an autumn walk in the countryside or a park. Collect pinecones, pick blackberries, kick through the fallen leaves, or look up at the stars. Bring flashlights along on the walk and have hot chocolate and cookies ready for when you get back home.
          4. Provide headphones for children sensitivity to loud noise so unexpected noises are less of a problem.
          5. Choose alternative bright and light outfits. Make Halloween more about the dressing up than wearing terrifying costumes. There are plenty of non-scary, positive options to choose from.
          6. Host an alternative party, a counter-cultural celebration of things that are bright, light, colorful, and good. This offers more variety for dressing up and is equally fun without the scares.
          7. Choose sugar-free sweets or healthy snacks with a Halloween theme.
          8. Have an autumn indoor picnic. Spread out blankets and enjoy a feast together. If the weather is good, have an autumn barbecue with good outdoor lighting.
          9. Think about who is being left out and invite them to your light party, autumn picnic, or barbecue.
          10. Ask your kids how they are feeling. Have activities ready for those who are struggling so they can have fun in a different way. Things like carving pumpkins, making pumpkin mini-pies, a bubble machine, apple bobbing, and roasting marshmallows. Also create safe space kids can access if they need a rest. Fill it with cozy blankets and cushions and provide soft lighting.

           

        3. I hope these Alternative Halloween ideas for kids with special needs help make the holiday a great success!Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email.
          Image by Mayur Gadge from Pixabay

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Mark Arnold is the Additional Needs Ministry Director at Urban Saints, a leading national Christian children’s and youth organization. He is co-founder of the Additional Needs Alliance, a national and international advocate for children and young people with additional needs or disabilities. Mark is a Churches for All and Living Fully Network partner, a member of the Council for Disabled Children and the European Disability Network. He writes an additional needs column for Premier Youth and Children’s Work (YCW) magazine and blogs at The Additional Needs Blogfather. He is father to James, who has autism spectrum condition, associated learning disability, and epilepsy. To find out more about how Mark’s work can help you, contact him at: marnold@urbansaints.org or @Mark_J_Arnold

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How To Cope During a Rough Caregiving Season

How To Cope During a Rough Caregiving Season

by | Oct 12, 2022 | Different Dream, Encouragement, How-Tos, Spiritual Support

How To Cope During a Rough Caregiving Season

How to cope during a rough caregiving season. What? Who wants to write about that topic when doing so usually comes from hard experience? That’s the case for guest blogger Lisa Pelissier who describes what’s been happening at her house and what’s helping her cope these days.

It’s been a rough season.

My husband’s health has collapsed and he can’t work more than a few hours a week.

My son with high-functioning autism can’t sleep and has been depressed and anxious.

We had Covid this summer, but not all at once. First the girls succumbed, which meant 2+ weeks of quarantine. A month later I got it. Another 2 weeks of quarantine.

And my youngest got diagnosed with autism. Which really doesn’t change anything. She’s still exactly who she was before the diagnosis. The only difference is that I feel more tired.

Just what I needed.

People ask me how I’m coping, and it’s easy to answer that question with a “Hanging in there,” or “Doing okay.” But that focuses on the I’m part of the question. I think a more helpful question for me to ask myself pertains to the how part.

How do you hold it together when things are falling apart?
How do you cope when everything seems to go wrong all at once?

Here are my answers about how to cope during a rough caregiving season:

Cry when you need to. It’s not a bad thing. Instead of stuffing grief under a sleek layer of artificiality, just cry. You’ll feel better.

Regain perspective. This isn’t the first time things have been this bad. We got through it before and we’ll get through it this time. It’s only hard because we’re looking at it from the midst of it. Looking back, we may decide this wasn’t so bad after all

Identify Blessings. It’s not all bad. The A/C works, my favorite blessing of the summer. The cars are holding up for the time being. Our kid with PANS seems to be in remission and doing well. We have a loving church family and a great homeschool group. And the neighbors have 23 cats, so we can always find something soft to snuggle. Identify the blessings in your life and enjoy them.

Maintain Friendships. I have several friends who are also in the midst of rough seasons. While I wouldn’t wish their troubles on them, it’s helpful that God decreed their troubles to occur at the same time as my own. We can’t solve one another’s problems, but we can commiserate and even joke together in the trenches.

Trust God’s Providence. There is a temptation to ask, “Why is God doing this to me?” Don’t give in to it. A few years ago I was suffering an excruciating pain disorder. But the clear comfort of God enfolded me. I never doubted for a moment that God was doing something for me, not to me. And He is the same now. His refining hand is like a sculptor carving a stone into something beautiful. It stinks when He’s lobbing off huge chunks of rock to get what He wants out of the raw material that is you, but you can trust Him. He has a plan and a purpose.

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,
knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.
And let endurance have its perfect result,
so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”
James 1:2-4

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email.

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Lisa Pelissier lives in Oregon where she is a homeschooling mother of four (three with disabilities) and author of three middle-grade fiction novels as well as a YA fantasy novel. Lisa owns SneakerBlossom Books, offering Christian, classical homeschool Study Guides and curriculum. She also works as a freelance copy editor, an artist, a substitute teacher, and a tutor. In her spare time Lisa enjoys playing the piano and fretting about things over which she has no control. Email Lisa at sneakerblossom@yahoo.com or connect on Facebook.

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10 Tips for a Successful Special Needs Vacation

10 Tips for a Successful Special Needs Vacation

by | Aug 17, 2022 | Different Dream, Holidays, How-Tos, Special Needs Parenting

10 Tips for a Successful Special Needs Vacation

Mark Arnold’s guest post offers 10 tips for a successful special needs vacation. He and his family tested them this summer for you to use whenever you and yours are able to get away.

So, what do we need to do to prepare our special needs children and young people for vacations overseas, in their home country, or as a staycation? These 10 tips for a successful vacation can help.

Tip #1: Allow for Processing Time

While the attraction of late vacation deals can be tempting, deciding at the last minute can be difficult. Some children and young people need processing time to prepare for a significant change, so plan as far in advance as you can.

Tip #2: List Issues Your Child May Face

Think about everything from the packing to traveling, from where you will stay and sleep to the things you will do, from the people going with you to those you might meet, from the food will eat to transportation you will take. What are the issues for your special needs child or young person? List them and think about how to reduce their impact. For example, if food’s an issue, contact the holiday provider and request a special menu. Or you take favorite food items with you.

Tip #3: Create a Social Story

A social story uses photos, symbols, and words to explain something new or complex for a child or young person with special needs. You can create one about what your child or young person needs to know, about the upcoming vacation. This gives them the tools to understand what will happen. Resources about social stories can be found at the Reachout ASC website.

Tip #4: Create a Visual Timetable

Create a daily plan. Use symbols or photos to represent each aspect of the day. Attach them using Velcro, so they can move along the timetable as the day progresses to aid understanding of what is happening now, next, and so forth. There’s a visual timetable template on the Reachout ASC website above.

Tip #5: Take Favorite Items

Take favorite toys or items your child or young person uses to feel safe and secure. Pack them in your carry-on baggage so they don’t get lost! You could also introduce a new item to take on vacation—something related to your destination. The item could be a vacation mascot and your child could have the job of looking after it.

Tip #6: Conduct a Dry Run

If you are flying and the airport you are going to isn’t far away, conduct a dry run. Most airports have special assistance for families traveling with a child or young person with special needs. It’s worth exploring what they provide. Look at where everything is. Airlines are supportive, but it’s wise ask for assistance in advance.

Tip #7: Bring Things to Do

While traveling, there will be long periods with little to do. Take activities to fill these gaps. Depending on your child’s interests, take coloring books, books to look at or read, fidget toys, Legos, a tablet to watch or listen to, or whatever helps them fill the time and relieve boredom.

Tip #8: List the Essentials

We usually remember important things like tickets, passport, money, and phones. It’s wise to also list other essentials such as medications and be sure you bring enough along. List snacks and drinks and take plenty in case you get stuck in a huge traffic jam or at the airport.

Tip #9: Involve Your Child or Young Person in Planning

If possible, seek your child or young person’s input. Ask what they’re worried about, what they want to take to feel safe, what resources help them feel in control. The more you talk about the vacation and work through any fears, the more likely the trip will be successful.

Tip #10: A Staycation is a Good Option

If the complexities of going somewhere else are too great, plan a staycation instead. You can have a wonderful time staying local and exploring what’s on offer close to home. And everyone gets to sleep in their own bed at night!

Whatever you are hoping to do for vacation, these 10 tips for a successful special needs vacation can make it less stressful and more fun.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email.

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Mark Arnold is the Additional Needs Ministry Director at Urban Saints, a leading national Christian children’s and youth organization. He is co-founder of the Additional Needs Alliance, a national and international advocate for children and young people with additional needs or disabilities. Mark is a Churches for All and Living Fully Network partner, a member of the Council for Disabled Children and the European Disability Network. He writes an additional needs column for Premier Youth and Children’s Work (YCW) magazine and blogs at The Additional Needs Blogfather. He is father to James, who has autism spectrum condition, associated learning disability, and epilepsy. To find out more about how Mark’s work can help you, contact him at: marnold@urbansaints.org or @Mark_J_Arnold

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My 4 Tips for Surviving a Special Needs Train Wreck

My 4 Tips for Surviving a Special Needs Train Wreck

by | Aug 10, 2022 | Different Dream, Encouragement, How-Tos, Special Needs Parenting

My 4 Tips for Surviving a Special Needs Train Wreck

My 4 tips for surviving a special needs train wreck became part of my life decades ago. Our son, who’d had major corrective surgery at birth, was thriving.

Or so we thought.

Then he pulled away one night while I nursed him. His eyes rolled back in his head, and he quit breathing. I screamed for my husband, who improvised his own version of baby CPR.

It worked.

I ran for the phone to call for an ambulance. Minutes later we were on our way to Rapid City Regional Hospital where the problem was diagnosed. The next day a medical transport plane flew my son and me to the University of Nebraska Hospital in Omaha for more corrective surgery. The surgery was a success, his recovery slow, steady, his long term prognosis good.

Even so, I struggled.

Our son’s health setback gobsmacked me. My husband, my parents and siblings, my friends were hundreds of miles away. I was alone on my birthday. From my perspective, the situation felt unsurvivable.

Yet we survived.

Our young family (including our son who is now 40) endured several more complications that required unexpected hospital stays. Over time I developed these 4 ways to cope with the train wrecks that are part of raising a child with disabilities and special needs.

Tip #1: Note the Ways God Prepared You

Sending our baby off to surgery again was hard. Even so, I was a better prepared parent the second time around. During the stay at Rapid City Regional, my husband went home and packed my suitcase with clothes and items we knew made hospital stays easier. Also, the hospital was a familiar place.

To read the rest of My 4 Tips for Surviving a Special Needs Train Wreck, visit the Hope Anew website.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email.

Image by dae jeung kim from Pixabay

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Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly with Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon. The first book in her cozy mystery series, See Jane Run!, features people with disabilities.

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Making Difficult Care Decisions: 6 Strategies to Clarify Choices

Making Difficult Care Decisions: 6 Strategies to Clarify Choices

by | Jun 1, 2022 | Different Dream, How-Tos, Special Needs Parenting

Making Difficult Care Decisions: 6 Strategies to Clarify Choices

Making difficult care decisions is an uncomfortable facet of special needs parenting. Rather than shy away from the conversation, guest blogger Kristin Faith Evans offers 6 strategies she and her husband use when making difficult care decisions on behalf of their children.

Caring for a child or loved one with disabilities or medical complications often involves making difficult decisions.  When many factors need to be considered, the process can create stress and worry. Over the last 15 years of caring for my two complex children, I’ve found these 6 steps helpful in weighing the options.

  1. Make a Benefits versus Risks List

My husband and I are currently faced with the difficult decision about our daughter’s educational plans for the fall. Due to her medical fragility and the Covid pandemic, Beth attended school virtually for the past 2 years. She’s enjoyed better stability and health than any other period in her life. But she’s seen a couple of children on the screen only briefly each day. Now that she’s received her Covid booster, her doctor has authorized her to return in person. Here’s an example of our process as we consider serious health risk factors:

Benefits:

    • Social interaction with other children and adults
    • Diverse learning opportunities
    • New experiences
    • Fun
    • Opportunity to share her joy, care, and humor

Risks:

    • Potential for serious illnesses and hospitalizations
    • Increased risk for death
    • Possibility of missing over 50% of school days
    • May limit our ability to work and make income

We’re attempting to rank what will create the highest quality of life for our daughter. She’s unable to make these decisions for herself.

Some questions to consider as a caregiver:

    • What might my child/loved one most desire if they had the ability to give their input?
    • How will this decision or treatment benefit them?
    • What are all the potential risks and side effects of each option?
    • What long-term effects will this choice have on them?
    • What’s feasible for me as their caregiver?
  1. Consult with Several Professionals

It can prove challenging to find the right medical, psychiatric, home care, or educational professionals with whom we feel comfortable. Sometimes it’s beneficial to get a second opinion if possible.

For example, Beth was referred to an orthopedic surgeon after she broke her ankle. The surgeon recommended a major hip and leg surgery. Beth would need months of physical therapy to be able to walk again. We consulted with her PCP who recommended getting a second opinion. We drove nine hours to meet with an expert in her disorder. This surgeon strongly recommended against the surgery because the procedure likely wouldn’t help and might even worsen Beth’s condition.

Some factors to consider:

    • Your level of comfort with the recommendation
    • Insurance’s willingness to cover a second opinion
    • The PCP’s recommendations
    • It may be necessary to go to a different healthcare system or hospital
  1. Talk with Other Caregivers

Asking around can help in several ways. Other caregivers may have experienced a similar situation, treatment decision, transition period, or surgery with their loved one.

They can offer:

    • Ideas for other options
    • What to expect
    • Support
    • Recommendations for providers
    • Connections with other caregivers
  1. Research

Depending on what care decisions we’re facing, researching the best medical intervention, care facilities, provider ratings, school systems, etc. may give us direction. Some professional sites:

  1. Pray

When a situation feels hopeless or out of our control, praying can help in several ways. We can ask for direction, wisdom for the doctors, a sense of peace, and divine intervention.

This breath prayer has helped me numerous times:

Exhale: “I release my worries to you.”

Inhale: “I receive your peace.”

Exhale: “I give you my anxieties.”

Inhale: “I accept your help.”

When we still our minds and practice deep breathing in God’s presence, our anxiety and emotional levels can decrease. We become more open to receiving direction and are able to think more clearly.

  1. Listen to Your Gut

Finally, when it feels like there is no good option, it’s time to give merit to how you feel.

Consider your first impression of the provider, facility, or school:

    • Does anything make you feel uncomfortable?
    • Are you feeling pressured?

We know our loved ones’ histories and needs better than anyone else. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s important we don’t dismiss it. Unless the situation is urgent, we can take time to make the best decision.

What would you add to the list for parents making difficult care decisions? Leave your ideas in the comment box.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email.

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Kristin lives with her husband, Todd, and their two children in the Nashville, TN area. As an author and mental health therapist, her greatest passion is walking with others on their journey to deeper emotional, psychological, and spiritual wholeness. As both her children have rare genetic disorders, Kristin especially loves supporting other parents of children with special needs. She hopes that you may find encouragement and support through her two websites and blogs, www.KristinFaithEvans.com and www.SpecialNeedsMomsBlog.com.

Author Jolene Philo

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Parenting in Light of Neurodiversity

Parenting in Light of Neurodiversity

by | May 4, 2022 | Different Dream, How-Tos, School/Education, Special Needs Parenting

Parenting in Light of Neurodiversity

Parenting in light of neurodiversity often occurs through trial and error. Today, Lisa Pelissier describes tips she’s learned while trial-and-error parenting her son who has high functioning autism.

My son has high functioning autism. He can pass. He seems “normal” to people who don’t know him well. But his thoughts are organized very differently. This was a challenge for both of us as we homeschooled. Traditional schooling methods had to be tweaked, adjusted, or thrown out altogether. Here are some differences that autistic people can encounter, and tips for dealing with them.

Difference #1: No Subterfuge

My son has no filters. He says what he thinks and he says it in plain words, with no underlying meaning behind them. What he says is what he means. And he expects others to do the same. This means he can miss out on the various subtexts of a conversation. Sometimes people convey a need for secrecy, a plea for help, a threat, or a promise with body language or with a subtle shift in the pacing and tone of their words. This is, for the most part, lost on my son.

Tip: Always say what you mean, and say it explicitly with words. Be clear and precise. Tell your child with words what you are feeling, especially if your feeling is directed toward your child—whether you’re proud of them, angry with them, pleased with them, or disappointed with them, don’t assume they understood your feelings from your tone and expression. If you notice others hinting at something, pick an opportune time to explain to your child what was going on.

Difference #2: Hyperfocus on One Thing to the Exclusion of All Else

When my son was about six, he woke up in a state of complete anger and frustration. It turns out he had dreamed about Care Bears. I understood, I told him, that Care Bears were not his ideal topic for dreamland, but why did that make him so angry? “Because I’m supposed to dream about trains!” Turns out, he dreamed about trains every single night. He felt betrayed by his mind’s brief excursion into another topic against his will. For the first ten years of my son’s life, all he thought about was trains.

Tip: If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Does he have to work on math? Math can be about trains. Does he need to write a composition? Trains again. Draw a picture? Trains. Learn some science? Have him research the differences between steam, diesel, and electrical power for trains. And a special interest can segue into other things. Trains evolved into a love of roller coasters, amusement parks, local history, and geography.

Difference #3: Processing Takes More Time

I usually ended my son’s school years in frustration. He hadn’t learned the math. He hadn’t learned the Latin. I would take the summer off and by the time the new school year started, he had grasped the concepts I’d been teaching him before the break. It took him that long to process what he’d been taught. My instruction hadn’t been in vain—it had just seemed like it.

Tip: Stop worrying. Give your child time to rest and reflect. Just because your child doesn’t understand something now, doesn’t mean it’s not in their head somewhere being processed. Relax. Wait.

Difference #4: Eye Contact Is Difficult

If eye contact is difficult, try conversing in the car. Side-by-side you can talk without having to worry about your eyes meeting. Volunteer to drive carpool for events with other children. Your child may be able to engage with friends more easily while everyone is strapped into a seat facing forward. Let your child have sleepovers with their friends. There is no eye contact in the dark.

People with autism aren’t deficient. They are just different. Parenting in light of neurodiversity gets easier when you learn to engage in ways that meet your child where he or she is at. You’ve got this.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email.

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Lisa Pelissier lives in Oregon where she is a homeschooling mother of four (three with disabilities) and author of three middle-grade fiction novels. Lisa owns SneakerBlossom Books, offering Christian, classical homeschool Study Guides and curriculum. She also works as a freelance copy editor, an artist, a substitute teacher, and a tutor. In her spare time Lisa enjoys playing the piano and fretting about things over which she has no control. Email Lisa at sneakerblossom@yahoo.com or connect on Facebook.

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