I Need a Vacation from Vacation

I Need a Vacation from Vacation

I Need a Vacation from Vacation

“I need a vacation from vacation,” I wanted to say soon after we came home after celebrating my husband’s retirement by traveling for most of July. The aftermath of being gone for so long was substantial–

Catching up everything that didn’t get done due to lack of reliable internet access.
Paying bills.
Dealing with on my mother’s latest health crisis.
Following up with workers about why the latest phase in our house remodel hadn’t been completed.
Digging out canning jars because the tomatoes and green beans are producing.

My immediate inclination was to throw a hissy fit and shout, “I need a vacation from vacation! I will never leave home for this long again. Not ever!”

My second inclination, which had to be the Holy Spirit’s intervention because I’m not capable of such restraint on my own, was to reflect upon the dear friends and familiar places visited during the past month. Without conscious thought my eyes closed. The inner movie reel of our vacation began to play.

I saw delight light up our six-year-old grandson’s face as he learned to Old Maid, Go Fish, and Slap Jack during the week he went camping with my husband and I. I heard his sweet voice when the time came for him to go home with his parents while Hiram and I continued our travels. “I could stay with you,” he lisped through the gaps where his baby teeth used to be, “because I know you’re going to miss me a lot.”

 To read the rest of I Need a Vacation from Vacation, visit the Key Ministry website.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

By

Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream websiteSharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon.

Author Jolene Philo

Archives

Categories

Subscribe for Updates from Jolene

Related Posts

First World Problems and Caregiving Problems

First World Problems and Caregiving Problems

First World Problems and Caregiving Problems

First world problems and caregiving problems are dominating my life right now. They’ve made re-entry after a month-long trip to celebrate my husband’s retirement rather rocky. Here are a few examples of what’s been happening.

The installation of our new heating and cooling system required punching numerous holes in our walls. The work was supposed to be completed while we were gone, but won’t be done for weeks or possibly months. 

That’s a first world problem.

Hospice re-evaluated my mother after she had bouts of major confusion and agitation while we were gone, but she still doesn’t qualify for their services.

That’s a caregiving problem.

The morning after a heavy rain, we discovered a leak in the new addition just as a workman came to deal with a backed up basement drain.

First world problem followed by first world problem.

My mother keeps asking when she gets to move in with us. I keep telling her that as long as work delays continue and our walls are pocked with holes, it’s not safe for her to move in.

That’s a caregiving problem solved by a first world problem.

That final confluence of first world problems and caregiving problems got me thinking about how they’ve impacted my life in the past.

Our newborn son’s condition at birth was an age old problem. His diagnosis and surgery at birth caused a host of complications and subsequent surgeries. Those complications were first world problems. 

Had our son been born in a different country, not to mention in a different day and age, he wouldn’t be alive today. In other words, first world solutions for his condition caused first world problems and caregiving problems that our family dealt with for years. During those years, all my thoughts, all life revolved around my son.

To read the rest of First World Problems and Caregiving Problems visit the Hope Anew website.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

By

Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream websiteSharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon.

Author Jolene Philo

Archives

Categories

Subscribe for Updates from Jolene

Related Posts

I Won’t Forget Your Faithfulness

I Won’t Forget Your Faithfulness

I Won’t Forget Your Faithfulness

I won’t forget your faithfulness. God used the lyrics of a song to prepare guest blogger Sandy Ramsey-Trayvick for what she didn’t know was coming. In this post she explains how they can help us as special needs parents respond differently when our children are hurting.

I woke up with song lyrics running through my mind on repeat:  

Great is Your faithfulness … I won’t forget, how great Your faithfulness…

I recognized the song as one from my worship playlist that I hadn’t listened to in awhile. I sang it that morning as part of my devotions. As I read Scripture that same morning, my eyes fell on 2 Thessalonians 3:3.

“But the Lord is faithful;
He will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one.” 

The Lord was going out of His way, it seemed, to remind me of His faithfulness. For the remainder of the morning and into the afternoon, I sensed the Lord wanting me to rehearse–over and over–the lyrics:  

I won’t forget Your great faithfulness.

Because of the strength and persistence of the exhortation, I began to suspect that the Lord was preparing me for something to come. So I obeyed His promptings and thanked Him throughout the day, promising Him, 

I won’t forget Your faithfulness.

That evening when I called my family to dinner, one of my daughters yelled back that something was wrong with my son. My husband and I ran upstairs to find him lying on our bedroom floor—awake but unresponsive. We surmised that he’d had a seizure. He’d had them before but he’d been seizure free for months so this one had caught us off guard. Because of COVID, we were reluctant to take him to the ER, or even to call for paramedics. However, as we cared for him ourselves, he had another seizure. His breathing ceased and his lips began turning blue. We called 911.

Later that night, after our son was stabilized and resting, my husband and I reflected back on the Lord’s words to me earlier in the day—and we thanked Him for His faithfulness. I’d been in situations before when my son’s health took a sudden negative turn. In my distress and confusion, I had questioned God.

Why are you allowing this to happen…again?  

But this time, the Lord Himself had prepared me to respond differently. Because He had whispered those song lyrics in my ear, I did not forget His faithfulness.

I’m guessing there are many reading this post who’ve found themselves, in times of confusion or pain, questioning God. While I won’t pretend to understand why He allows certain things, I’m convinced that He knows and understands our suffering–and stands ready to help us through it. As He reminded me of His faithfulness this time, I was reminded of the countless other times that He’d been faithful—to protect, to heal, to provide, to counsel, to empower, to restore, to comfort—the list goes on. How, then, had I allowed myself to forget?

I lift my eyes; I won’t forget,
How great Your faithfulness.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email.

By

Sandy is wife to Terry, mom to 3 young adult children, a Bible study teacher, an encourager to those who are weary, a fitness enthusiast, a lover of books, and a certified professional coach. She and her husband are also marriage mentors. Twenty years ago, after her son was diagnosed with multiple disabilities, Sandy became his full time caregiver and advocate. She knows that living in the world of special needs or disabilities can lead to a “disabled life” mindset that focuses on limitations and settles for less life, less joy, less fulfillment. She coaches parents of children with special needs to help them see their circumstances from a perspective of hope, purpose, and opportunity. She helps them choose actions that create a life for themselves and their families that is joyful, fulfilling and fruitful. You can learn more about Sandy, her work, and her blog at www.UNDisabledLIVES.org.

Author Jolene Philo

Archives

Categories

Related Posts

Count Your Blessings: A Way To Stay Sane in a Crisis

Count Your Blessings: A Way To Stay Sane in a Crisis

Count Your Blessings: A Way To Stay Sane in a Crisis

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God has done!

When I was much younger, I rolled my eyes every time we sang this hymn at church. To my mind, the lyrics touted a solution far too simplistic for the troubles our family faced. 

Even when I did as instructed, life didn’t get better. 

My dad was sick and getting sicker. My mom shouldered too much stress as she worked to feed and clothe us. The trend continued after the birth of our son. Five years and seven surgeries into his young life, life was hard and getting harder. 

So far as the count your blessings thing went, I told God to count me out.

Then, one day the beginning of Zechariah 4:10 caught my eye: For who has despised the day of small things? (NASB) 

Hmmmmm.

If my response to the lyrics of Count Your Blessings was any indication, I had been despising the day of small things for years. Maybe even decades.

Not good. Not good at all.

An attitude change was long overdue, and it was a hard change to make. But as I began to look for small blessings, it was easier to see and delight in them.

And then, along came COVID-19.

The temptation was strong to stop searching for small and good things while living through such a vast pandemic. But for my own mental and spiritual health, I kept looking for and found these 10 tiny and precious treasures.

To read the rest of the post, visit the Hope Anew website.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

By

Jolene Philo is both parent and daughter of loved ones with special needs and disabilities, as well as a former educator who worked with children for 25 years. She’s written several books about caregiving, special needs parenting, and childhood PTSD, including the recently released Sharing Love Abundantly in Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilties, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman. She speaks internationally about caregiving and parenting children with special needs and blogs at www.DifferentDream.comJolene and her husband live in central Iowa.

Author Jolene Philo

Archives

Categories

Related Posts

When Being Thankful Is Hard As a Special Needs Parent

When Being Thankful Is Hard As a Special Needs Parent

When Being Thankful Is Hard As a Special Needs Parent

When being thankful is hard as a special needs parent––and let’s not beat around the bush, watching our children struggle doesn’t lend itself to loud hosannas––how do we approach Thanksgiving? How do we cultivate gratitude without sugar coating the challenges in our kids’ lives? How can we be grateful when a child’s condition is going from bad to worse, and we can find nothing to be grateful for?

I stared down those questions more than once when our baby boy struggled to stay alive.

The first time was during my first Thanksgiving as a parent. By then our six-month-old had endured 2 major surgeries, a three week NICU stay, a week long PICU stay, two dozen early morning GI procedures, and an overnight hospital stay on Halloween weekend. I was sleep-deprived, grieving, and my breasts were sore after months of pumping milk for our tube-fed baby who could tolerate nothing but breast milk. The thought of being thankful for my child’s precarious state of health and the pain our baby had endured was unimaginable. Cruel.

I couldn’t do it.

The week after my thankless Thanksgiving, I did what proud, new parents everywhere do. I composed a Christmas letter, complete with pictures of our baby boy in his elf costume, to mail to the many friends and family members who had faithfully prayed for us since our son’s birth.

To read the rest of this post visit the blog at Hope Anew’s website.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

By

Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

Author Jolene Philo

Archives

Categories

Subscribe for Updates from Jolene

Related Posts