Modifications to Welcome Children with Special Needs

by jphilo | Jul 25, 2013 | Advocacy, Different Dream, Special Needs Parenting

Modifications to Welcome Children with Special Needs

Modifications. They are a necessary and natural part of life for families who want their loved ones with special needs to have access to the world. One of my earliest memories is watching carpenters build a ramp so Dad could wheel in and out of our house. Mom modified an old leather toiletry bag to carry Dad’s urinal when we were out and about since few bathrooms were wheelchair accessible in the 1960s. (Note: Do not do this. Leather absorbs urine odor, and it never goes away.)

Modifications at Our House

My husband and I continued the practice after we became parents. Before our baby was released from NICU, Hiram modified the crib, elevating the head to reduce reflux in our tiny boy’s esophagus. On vacations, we wedged suitcases between motel mattress and box springs for the same purpose. For years I carried a hand crank baby food grinder—strong enough to grind hamburgers and pizza—in my purse when we ate out. And because our little boy’s misshaped esophagus caused him to throw up about half of what he ate, we also left really big tips for the wait staff…to make up for the napkins full of spit up food we left behind.

You know what I’m talking about because as a special needs parent, you are constantly modifying the world around your children, too. To us, it’s natural and necessary. But convincing others to join us in making the world accessible to all isn’t an easy task, a fact proven by recent history.

Modifications at School

In fact, convincing schools to modify education for children with special needs required an act of Congress. In 1975, federal lawmakers enacted Public Law 94-142. The law said that children with disabilities “have a right to education” and established “a process by which state and local educational agencies may beheld accountable for providing educational services for all handicapped children.”

As a college freshman—and an education major—the year that law passed, I had a front row seat as our college scrambled to create classes to educate a new crop of special education teachers, and schools scrambled to comply with the mandate. The law wasn’t perfect, and schools didn’t implement the law perfectly. But schools did modify physical buildings, teaching strategies, and levels of education to meet the needs of all students. Today, such modifications are accepted practice and expected practice.

You can read the rest of this post at the Not Alone website.

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Jolene Philo is the author of several books for the caregiving community. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and Amazon. See Jane Sing!, the second book in the West River cozy mystery series, which features characters affected by disability, was released in November of 2022.

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3 Ways to Put Mommy Time Back into Your Schedule

Mommy time is a precious commodity for parents. Guest blogger and new mommy to a third child, Liz Matheis, has advice from experience about how to find time to refresh and recharge even when your days are filled with caring for typical kids and those with special needs.

3 Ways to Put Mommy Time Back into Your Schedule

You’re a mom and you’re exhausted. The two terms are synonymous if you ask me. When was the last time that you put some time for yourself on your list of things to get done by the end of the day? What? You can’t remember because it’s been so long? Well, guess what–it’s time. It’s time to put Mommy back on the list of priorities.

Having become a mommy of 3 this past December, I can officially say that at the end of each day, I am completely overstimulated. I have heard my name said only about 3,002.3 times. And each time, I threaten to change my name and not tell my kids my new name! I am feeling very overworked and underpaid… well, given we don’t get a paycheck for the most important job on the face of this planet, kisses and ‘I love yous’ will suffice for now!

I’m going to help you to find some time for yourself, mommy, on a regular basis. Small, feasible ways of giving yourself some time to decompress after you’ve been doing something for everyone else every day.

#1: Once the Lights Are Out…..

You know the feeling – Ahhh, victory! The kids are in bed and the house is peaceful. You know, the way it was before kids. You are not allowed to create a list of things to do that is greater than your age. Give yourself a maximum of 5 more things to get done, and then read a book, soak in the tub, stare at a spot on the wall, or whatever makes you happy.

#2: Monthly Me Time

Once a month, schedule an evening where you are not putting the kids down to bed. Ma’am, walk away from the bedtime routine, take your keys and leave your house. Do this with a fellow mommy in need or go by yourself, but most importantly, get out. Whether you are having dinner with a friend, going to see a movie, or just walk around the mall in peace because you can, do it.

#3: A Job for Everyone and Everyone with a Job

Your little loves are perfectly capable people. I just watched my 4-year-old drag my kitchen chair over to the counter, climb up and grab a piece of chocolate… right after I said, “No, you can’t have a piece of chocolate. How about a piece of fruit?”

Let’s shape those forces for good. How? Give each one of your children a job to do once homework is done and after dinner. Those busy hands can be helping you to get through all of the ‘things’ that need to get done before bedtime. Enlist the help of your favorite little people and free yourself up a bit.

My dear friend, Lori, told me that motherhood is the most rewarding and overwhelming job I would ever have. She is right! As much as I want to run away some nights, I love to watch my kids play, laugh, and I love, love, love a nice warm hug. It’s a tough job but don’t let yourself get burned out. Take some time for yourself and enjoy.

How Do You Find Mommy Time?

You heard Liz’s suggestions. Now it’s your turn. Leave a comment about how you preserve time for yourself. The more mommy time preserved, the merrier.

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Dr. Liz Matheis is a clinical psychologist and school psychologist in Parsippany, NJ. She offers support, assessments, and advocacy for children who are managing Autism Spectrum Disorders, ADHD, learning disabilities, and behavioral difficulties, as well as their families. She is also a contributor to several popular magazines. Visit www.psychedconsult.com for more information.