Disability Etiquette: What to Say and What Not to Say

Disability Etiquette: What to Say and What Not to Say

by | Dec 7, 2016 | Different Dream, How-Tos, Special Needs Parenting

Disability Etiquette: What to Say and What Not to Say

Compassionate disability etiquette is a gift parents of kids with special needs love to receive. Today Different Dream guest blogger Trish Shaeffer is here to share what she’s learned about disability etiquette as mom to 1 typical child as well as twins with special needs. Read on to learn how to give the gift of disability etiquette during the Christmas season.

Disability Etiquette: What to Say and What Not to Say

Comments made by other adults often catch parents of children with disabilities off guard. Inappropriate words bring up many emotions, and parents find it really hard to have a reply to them. Language is a powerful tool that can cause great harm if used unwisely. Generally, people aren’t unfeeling. Rather they are unthinking. They need to be challenged to approach children’s disabilities in a more positive and sensitive way. Below are several negative comments followed by positive ones that are examples of disability etiquette.

Disability Etiquette: What Not to Say
  1. I’m sorry to hear that. Having a child with a disability should not be viewed as a disappointment or loss that requires an apology.
  2. What’s wrong your child? There is nothing wrong.
  3. Poor little thing. Parents want their child empowered, not pitied.
  4. Have you tried__________________? The chances of you knowing more about the disability than a parent are slim. They probably have exhausted every treatment out there.
  5. But your child doesn’t look sick. Many children with special needs are not sick. They have lifelong developmental disorders like autism, which are not an illness.
  6. Your child makes me realize how lucky I am. Those words suggests that the child and parent are unlucky.
  7. I don’t know how you cope. Nor do we. But our children are our priority. If society was more aware of how difficult parenting a child with disabilities can be, there might be more accessible help available.
  8. At least your other children are okay? What makes a child okay? The fact that they can talk? Or have full range of movement? Many disabled children are far better at communicating and being mobile then most neuro-typical children.
  9. Is it a degenerative condition? Some children who have disabilities have a shorter life span. But the constant reminder is at best unhelpful, and the worst unkind.
  10. So your child gets out and about then? People with disabilities like and enjoy many of the same things all people do.
  11. Is it genetic? Only family members have the right to ask this question.
  12. Your child grow out of it, right? Most do not outgrow disabilities such as cerebral palsy.
  13. Did you cause your child to be in a wheelchair? What would possess someone to ask this?
  14. Wow, you must be busy! This comment comes across as condescending to parents doing what they must to survive.
  15. Did you do drugs or smoke during pregnancy? This question simply shouldn’t be asked.
  16. You’re overreacting! or If you would only spank your child! These statements suggest the parent is ignorant, stupid, lazy or incompetent.
  17. You should be glad it’s not worse! or You shouldn’t feel like that.  These statements mean “I don’t want to be bothered with your problems.”
  18. Is your child retarded?  Never use the R word! It’s rude and incorrect language to use to describe a child with learning disabilities or a developmental delay.
Disability Etiquette: What to Say
  1. Wow, I didn’t realize that. Your child looks amazing. You must be so proud.
  2. You must have worked really hard because your child is amazing.
  3. What caused your child’s challenges?
  4. How is your child doing? What’s being worked on in therapy this week?
  5. What are your child’s hobbies?
  6. I like your child’s braces.
  7. You’re such a great caregiver.
  8. How are you holding up?
  9. I like that wheelchair.
  10. How can I help?
  11. What kinds of therapy does your child enjoy?
  12. Did your child have fun at school?
  13. Your child has a beautiful smile.
  14. My little boy likes trucks, too.
  15. That’s tough.
  16. Do you need help getting the wheelchair into your car? Do you need help carrying your groceries out?
  17. Wow! I cant believe how far your child has come.
  18. Your child is so good at ____________________.
  19. Your child really loves you.
  20. Your child has taught me so much.
  21. I brought wine! I had to add that. Couldn’t help myself.
  22. I think your kid is great!
  23. Your child is lucky to have you as a parent.
  24. I don’t know much about your child’s condition. Can you suggest some reading for me to educate myself?
  25. You are so patient.

Do you see a trend? Negative responses can be turned into positive and helpful ones. Remember, parents may react differently, so pick a good time to bring something positive. Look past the disability and and treat the child like a child. Too often parents of kids with special needs experience negativity. They need a positive lift. You have the power to make their day.

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Trish Shaeffer mom of 3 active boys, a 9-year-old and 5-year-old twins who were born 2 months early and have special needs. She’s a peer supporter for Parent to Parent and volunteers with the United Cerebral Palsy Network, Special Olympics, and the United Way. She’s also an equine volunteer at Leg Up Farm. She’s married to her best friend and biggest supporter, Chris Shaeffer.

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Promote Independence in Kids with Special Needs, Pt. 2

Promote Independence in Kids with Special Needs, Pt. 2

by | Nov 30, 2016 | Different Dream, How-Tos, Special Needs Parenting

Promote Independence in Kids with Special Needs, Pt. 2

Did you know you can promote independence in kids with special needs with some DIY home remodeling projects? Guest blogger Paul Denikin, handyman and dad to a child with special needs, shared 2 remodeling tips in last week’s post. Today he’s back with 2 more projects to encourage independence and confidence in your home.

Remodel to Promote Independence in Kids with Special Needs, Pt. 2

Tip #3: Make Bathrooms Safe and Accessible

Most home accidents occur in the bathroom, so it is especially important to make repairs and modifications to make the bathroom as safe and accessible as possible for your children with special needs. There are several products available that require minimal expense and effort that will make your bathroom more accommodating.

For example, you can install grab bars on the shower walls and near the toilet to aid your child with getting in and out of the shower and up and down from the toilet. Keep in mind that your child should not rely on towel racks, toilet paper holders, or wall-mounted sinks to support his weight; these products are not designed to do so, and your child could get injured if he attempts to use them. Other products that increase bathroom safety and accessibility include rubber grip mats for the floor of the bathtub, bathtub or shower seats, transfer tub benches, handheld shower heads, and raised toilet seats.

Of course, there are much more involved projects that you could undertake to remodel your entire bathroom for your child with special needs. Some families opt to install vanities and sinks at lower heights. Others opt to install shower stalls that are wheelchair accessible. The size and scope of your bathroom repair and modification projects depend on your child’s needs and your budget.

Tip #4: Ensure Your Floors Do Not Pose a Danger to your Child

High pile carpeting and tile flooring are not ideal for children with special needs. High pile carpeting prevents wheelchair wheels from turning and rolling properly, and tile floors may be uneven and result in your child tripping and falling as he walks. Tile floors also can inhibit wheel movement or the smooth movement of walkers and crutches if something catches on the corner of an uneven tile. Tile flooring in a bathroom or kitchen is dangerous because these surfaces tend to be very slippery when wet. Slip-resistant flooring is recommended for bathroom and kitchen installations, and it is worth noting that tiles no larger than 2” x 2” are less slippery than larger tiles.

Laminate or low pile carpeting is a better option for children with special needs. These flooring options are durable and work well in high-traffic areas and often are easier to clean than high pile carpet and tile floors. If your child has allergies or asthma, laminate and low pile carpet are better options for those health issues because they do not hold pet dander and dust like high pile carpet does.

There are several simple ways to modify your home to make it more accessible to children with special needs. From wheelchair ramps to slip-resistant floors, you can make the repairs and accommodations that promote independence in kids with special needs.

More Ideas that Promote Independence in Kids with Special Needs

Now that you’ve heard all of Paul’s ideas, it’s your turn. Add your DIY remodel ideas that promote independence in kids with special needs in the comment box below.

Part 1

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Paul Denikin is passionate about sharing his experiences on his site dadknowsdiy.com with working on DIY projects to benefit people with special needs children.

Author Jolene Philo

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When Chronic Pain Makes Us Doubt God’s Promises

When Chronic Pain Makes Us Doubt God’s Promises

by | Aug 29, 2016 | Different Dream, How-Tos, Special Needs Parenting

When Chronic Pain Makes Us Doubt God’s Promises

Chronic pain.

Parents of kids with special needs deal with it every single day. Not only our children’s pain, which is what springs to mind for most moms and dads when the topic arises.

But also our own chronic pain.

We all experience it. Our pain can be caused by the physical demands of caregiving. It can be mental and emotional pain exacted by sleep deprivation, the trauma of seeing our children suffer, or an unrelenting string of diagnoses and treatments. For Christians, chronic pain can be spiritual. Sure, God says he’s always with us and that children are precious to him, but circumstances make us doubt his promises.

We ignore the pain and push it down.

But it’s still there. Bubbling below the surface and erupting at the most inconvenient times. Like when the receptionist at the doctor’s office can’t get you in at the time you requested, and you burst into tears. Or when your spouse makes an innocent comment about supper, and you rip into him with the ferocity of a Bengal tiger. Or when your child whines after being told to put away her toys, and you respond with a phrase you vowed you would never say when you became a parent. That’s when you realize it’s time to do something about your own pain.

But what?

I’ve been pondering and praying about that question for years. Not only concerning my own pain, but also that of other hurting parents who have shared their stories. Not too long ago God provided an answer, at least in part, during a conference workshop. The speaker was Dr. Stefan Friedrichsdorf, who is the medical director at the Department of Pain Medicine, Palliative Care & Integrative Medicine for the Children’s Hospitals and Clinics of Minnesota. Part of his workshop addressed treating chronic physical pain in children and adolescence.

Something he said has been niggling at my brain ever since.

To read the rest of this post, visit Key Ministry’s Special Needs Parenting blog.

Do you like what you see at jolenephilo.com/? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon.

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When Parenting a Child with Special Needs Stinks

When Parenting a Child with Special Needs Stinks

by | Aug 17, 2016 | Advocacy, Different Dream, Special Needs Parenting

When Parenting a Child with Special Needs Stinks

Long time guest blogger Scott Newport joins us today with straight talk about what he learned to do when parenting a child with special needs stinks. Here’s the tale of his latest stinky adventure at C. S. Mott’s Children Hospital at the University of Michigan.

When Parenting a Child with Special Needs Stinks

“Scott and Penni, I know this is hard. It stinks even having to say this, but Evan may not make it to his first birthday. You guys may want to think about getting a burial site for him.”

The doctor who told us that many years ago was in his second year as a fellow, training to be a children’s hospital intensivist. He was partially correct. We did eventually bury Evan, but it wasn’t till he had lived seven pretty happy years.

Even though Evan is gone he left me a gift, sort of a legacy. I now help mentor new parents of terminally ill children. I also engage staff and faculty on strategies in working with these families. Last week I was reminded of the doctor’s comment and when parenting a child with special needs stinks.

One afternoon I was given a referral to a family about to leave the hospital when I heard someone say, “Scott, I just finished a twenty four-hour shift. I really smell!”

“That’s okay,” I said coaxing the voice closer. “I still want a hug.”

“Okay then,” she shrugged. “It’ll have to be a proper one.”

Carolyn wove around other staff members filling the sterile hallway. As placed her charts on the Formica counter, my eyes took in the “Wall of Courage” displaying the glowing faces of children from days past. Evan’s photo is right in the middle.

Carolyn is a spunky, young doctor at C. S. Mott Children’s Hospital at the University of Michigan. She is starting her second year of a fellowship in the Intensive Care Unit. The fellowship is for the best of the best doctors in the country, physicians who have already completed pediatric residency training and are pursuing a sub-specialty in critical care. We met for the first time last year in July at a boot camp for new hires facilitated by Dr. Tim Cornell. I represented the patient and family side of medicine in a high stress, pediatric intensive care environment at the boot camp.

After our embrace we stood there for a moment and smiled at each other.

“Was there one thing from last year’s boot camp training you put into practice that impacted the way you do medicine?” I asked her.

Carolyn didn’t hesitate. “Yes there is. When you talked to the doctors, it gave me a sense that I may not have to be afraid to talk to parents with critically ill kids.”

Before she could say another word a nurse, who had obviously been listening to our conversation at the check-in desk, came closer and leaned in to hear the latest gossip on the floor.

Carolyn continued, “When I go into talk to parents about bad news now, I’m more confident. I’m also aware that many of the families already know what I am going to say.”

After saying good-bye I walked passed the same conference room where the boot camp was held a year ago. I couldn’t help but remember her face at the table that day.

I know from experience many of the new doctors have two fears. One is how to give bad news and the other is to find a way to offer hope in dire situations. After talking to Carolyn, I know she’s got the first one down. I bet if I ask her the next time we meet, she’ll have an encouraging answer about the hope part, too.

That evening I thought about the trainings I do with nurses, medical students, and first years fellows like Carolyn. You see, I’m just a carpenter and never had a higher education. My hands are callused. I have irremovable stains under my finger nails. I often wonder if the work I’m doing with these highly intelligent folks stinks to them.

If I did stink last year, Carolyn never noticed. When she gave me that proper hug, I never noticed her smell either. And maybe just maybe that nurse who listened in got a bit of inspiration and training from two stinky people. I’m okay with that, too.

Reminiscing about the second-year fellow from fourteen years ago, I wondered if the way he said our son was going to die was the best approach. It did stink, but it was a special moment in our journey because he really cared. Second year fellow Dr. Carolyn Vitale cares too. She has a hope that will last a lifetime. It will surely be a sweet aroma passed down to those who will one day train under her and inherit her passion—all the sick kids and families at C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital, families just like mine, who know that sometimes parenting a child with special needs stinks.

Do you like what you see at jolenephilo.com/? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Scott Newport is a carpenter who has a vision for unwanted, damaged wood. His finds are treasures to his soul. Each discovery he makes unfolds into a beautiful piece of furniture for which he finds a home, usually with a child or caregiver of a child with special needs. He writes about the life lessons he learns from his 3 children, especially from Evan who died in November of 2009 after 7 years of joyful life. To access all of Scott’s guest posts, click on the magnifying glass at the top of the page and type “Scott Newport” in the search box.

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Autism Thunderstorms and Beautiful Days

Autism Thunderstorms and Beautiful Days

by | Aug 3, 2016 | Books and Resources, Different Dream, Special Needs Parenting

Autism Thunderstorms and Beautiful Days

Today Different Dream welcomes guest blogger Ron Sandison. Ron writes and speaks around the country about his experiences growing up with autism. He’s also husband of Kristen and the proud papa to a new daughter, Makayla Marie. I had the pleasure of meeting Ron, his wife, and tiny baby (totally adorable) and hearing him speak at a conference in May. His story of a mom who devoted her life to refining his autism is both moving and powerful.

Autism Thunderstorms and Beautiful Days

On April 1 of 2016, I was the keynote speaker at Ernie Els Awe in Autism Conference in Jupiter, Florida. It was a beautiful day with the sun shining, 80 degree weather, and a cool breeze. Life seemed perfect. Two days later when I returned home to Michigan, I was greeted by 27 degree weather and an ice storm. My cloud nine experience quickly deflated.

My journey with autism has been like Michigan weather. Rain, ice, and snowstorm days–meltdowns from sensory overload and seasons of underemployment. But also sunny beautiful days–graduating from college with a Master of Divinity and marrying a wonderful wife.

2 Beautiful Days

On March 20, 2016 my beautiful daughter, Makayla Marie, was born. Four days later when we arrived home from the hospital the first copy of my book, A Parent’s Guide to Autism: Practical Advice. Biblical Wisdom was waiting for me. That was another beautiful day.

Too Many Autism Thunderstorms

Due to my sensory issues, my life was filled with more autism thunderstorms than beautiful days. As a young child, I had difficulty managing my emotions. When I became frustrated or angry, I would scream and bang my head full-force repeatedly against my bedroom wall. I also struggled with regulating my sense of fear and anxiety.

At five years of age, I went with my family for the first time to the movie theater. During one of the movie previews, a hand began to expand on the screen. After the hand covered the whole screen, it suddenly exploded. The unexpected sound of the explosion caused me to have a meltdown. I screamed and ran from the theater. My mom had to take me home immediately.

Overcoming Autism Thunderstorms

To help me reach my full potential, my mom quit her job as an art teacher and became a Ron teacher. She implemented pre-ABA art therapy to teach me social and communication skills. She decided to help me refine my disabilities into beautiful gifts.

When you walk on the hot pavement to the beach and your barefoot steps on a sharp jagged piece of glass, you shout out in pain. Autism unrefined is filled with jagged autistic quirks, unfiltered inappropriate comments, relentless head-banging, and meltdowns.

Autism refined, on the other hand, is like walking on the warm sandy beach with the ocean waves and discovering a smooth piece of glass that has been changed by the power of the ocean. Such glass we put on display as art.

My autism was not always refined. Autism caused my speech to be delayed. My seven-year-old brother Chuck bragged, “My brother sounds weird; he speaks Norwegian!” Through intense speech therapy I have overcome my speech impediment.

The Story of Autism Thunderstorms and Beautiful Days

My mom’s passion to empower me to succeed in life and her unconditional love was my motivation for writing A Parent’s Guide to Autism: Practical Advice. Biblical Wisdom. I desire to provide hope to parents with a child or children with autism and share the insight I learned from my mom. While writing the book I also interviewed over forty of the top experts in the autism field and also forty parents who have a child with autism.

The book shares the dark stormy days when I experienced horrible sensory overloads. It teaches parents methods to handle sensory issues. It also shares the beautiful days of setting the school record for the 3,200 meter relay, getting married, and having a baby.

Autism is not an illness to be cured, but a different neurological way of processing information. You can’t cure autism, but you can refine it with therapy and love. Autism refined is beautiful.

Your Autism Thunderstorm Experiences?

Comments about Ron’s story or your own autism thunderstorm are welcome. Please share them in the comment box. Thanks!

Do you like what you see at jolenephilo.com/? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Ron Sandison works full time in the medical field and is a professor of theology at Destiny School of Ministry. He is an advisory board member of Autism Society Faith Initiative of Autism Society of American. Sandison has a Master of Divinity from Oral Roberts University and is the author of A Parent’s Guide to Autism: Practical Advice. Biblical Wisdom published by Charisma House. He frequently speaks at colleges, conferences, autism centers, and churches. Ron, his wife, Kristen, and daughter Makayla reside in Rochester Hills, Michigan. You can contact Ron at his website, SpectrumInclusion.com.

Author Jolene Philo

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Special Needs Family Camp: A Princess, a Promise, and a Prayer

Special Needs Family Camp: A Princess, a Promise, and a Prayer

by | Jul 28, 2016 | Different Dream, Holidays, Special Needs Parenting

Special Needs Family Camp: A Princess, a Promise, and a Prayer

Earlier this summer, guest blogger Amy Stout and her family attended a special needs family camp at Hidden Acres Christian Center in central Iowa. The event had a Different Dream connection because Jolene was on the Wonderfully Made Family Camp (WMFC) special needs family camp planning board. When Jolene asked Amy if she’d do a guest post about her family’s experience to share with Different Dream readers, Amy said yes without hesitation. Here’s what she says was her favorite part of the camp. You might want to have a tissue handy while you read.

Special Needs Family Camp:
A Princess, a Promise, and a Prayer

I could tell you that my favorite part of Wonderfully Made Family Camp was the amazing lodging with a queen bed and 5 pillows–it was so luxurious. Kylie loved playing on the upper bunks and making a “tent” (partition) to sleep behind on the lower bunks. Also, our room was surprisingly sound proof. We were on the end of a hall and that was a blessing because of our daughter’s sleep issues.

Or …I could tell you that it was the food. I can hardly believe I am raving about camp food, but it was that yummy! Did you know that Hidden Acres chocolate chip camp cookies (4C’s) are famous and people actually order them for postal delivery?

Or… I could share about our experience with 40 foot tall zip lining, the climbing wall and giant swing. All were firsts for my girl–how brave she was. What confidence that gave her!

Special needs family camp was a wonderful experience for Amy Stout and her family. Her story about her favorite part of camp comes with a tissue warning.

Or…I could share about the first night’s breakout session on marriage with Gary and Barb Rosberg of America’s Family Coaches, where my husband Dan won sex tapes. (Actually it is a set of 4 DVDS called “The 5 Sex Needs of Men and Women” and the companion study guide.)

Or… I could tell you how exciting it was on the last day to have our name drawn to receive a door prize. It was a beautifully wrapped basket full of massage goodness–bath salts, candles, sugar scrub, soaps, bubble bath, hand massagers, a loofah, and a gift certificate for a massage.

Or…I could tell you how amazing it was for Dan and me to have breakfast together 2 mornings in a row… ALONE–In a room full of people, of course, but without childcare duties because Kylie was still sleeping. Her Buddies stayed with her so we could eat together.

Or… I could tell you it was the many social opportunities that were presented for both us as adults but especially for our daughter where she was loved, cherished, protected, and accepted.

Or… I could tell you it was the pool hours. We loved being able to swim late at night.

However… none of those things were our favorite thing. Our favorite thing about the special needs family camp were Kylie’s Buddies, Lydia and Sophia. I knew this in general as we left the camp but I fully realized it on our way home. I’ll explain why later

When we arrived at camp and were connected with Kylie’s Buddies. Yes, “Buddies” is plural. Due to Kylie’s “out-of-the-norm needs” we were assigned two. I was a bit concerned that they were teenagers. It was hard enough to hand my child over to a perfect stranger, but it was even more difficult handing her over to young girls. It was especially hard to let go because our child has communication issues and cannot tell us when something happens or goes wrong. How were these girls going to be able to understand her or meet her needs?

Within 5 minutes, I knew my fears were all unfounded. Kylie warmed up to them right away, and they were already speaking her language. As Kylie initially met her Buddies, our Disney Royalty-obsessed daughter introduced herself as “Princess Kylie.” Immediately the girls tailored their communication style to accommodate her Royal Highness. Once again, God had planned things in advance and paved the way to provide the perfect Buddies for Kylie.

Lydia and Sophia rocked our world that weekend. They were such servants to our entire family. They were not just Kylie’s Buddies; they were our Buddies as well. But more than being our Buddies, they quickly became close friends.

We loved chatting with them over meals and as we walked to the various scheduled events. We learned funny, quirky things like Lydia has goats at her house because her dad has a side job as a goat judge, and she loves the camp cookies. Sophia loves Croc shoes and writing letters. We learned that Lydia loves turquoise and Sophia loves yellow.

But then, our talks turned more intimate and we learned their hearts’ desires for their future and how they longed to follow God’s will for their life. How they are growing in their faith and cautious about moving too fast, stepping out of His perfect will or become impatient for answers. How they are learning every day to press into Him and not make decisions based on worldly pleasures or desires. After a meal with these two, I was encouraged like I hadn’t been in months! These girls were so fired up for God.

We were only with them for 1 full day and 2 partial days, but they served us tirelessly. They stayed with Kylie while she slept, so Dan and I could eat. When we were all able to enjoy a meal together, they cleared our trays and took them to the kitchen. They helped us carry luggage, they hand-fed Kylie, helped her with her toileting needs, Googled information for us about the towns nearby and how to find the nearest ATM Machine. They checked on our itinerary and gave us directions around the camp. Lucky for us, the girls both had experience with the zip line, climbing wall and giant swing and gave Kylie the courage to try. They were aware of and attended to Kylie’s anxieties – her sensitivity to light and sound and her fear of food.

On our second day, we had 3 hours to kill before our time slot at the giant swing, so we all hopped in the car and drove to a nearby town for ice cream. It was a glorious time of fellowship! These girls were full time summer staff at the camp and had just come off of a week of counseling campers (with no air conditioning in their cabin) and working in the kitchen. These girls were TIRED before we ever even arrived. And yet, they pushed through their own needs to attend to ours- to love on our precious girl and to pour into her life.

But this is what secured in our minds that Lydia and Sophia were our favorite part of camp: On the last day, Dan and I gave each of them a thank you note with a little gift inside. Nothing big, just a little token of our appreciation. I was stunned when they handed us a letter and each of them gave Kylie a letter. I decided to save the reading of their letters for the ride home, so we gave them big bear hugs (we’d been together so much that we felt like they were family), took a few final pictures, and we got into the car.

As I settled into my seat for the long car ride home, I began to read their letters. We weren’t but a few miles from the camp and I was a blubbering mess as I read the words they gifted my daughter with. As a mom, you always hope your child will be surrounded with God-honoring people who will point them to Him with their words and deeds, but when you experience Autism, there just aren’t many people pounding down doors to fellowship with our girl. It is a lonely and isolating world for children who experience special needs. We have to work at making friends.

In their words, Lydia and Sophia invested in our daughter in a meaningful and lasting way. They each gifted her with a Promise and a Prayer.

“Beautiful Princess Kylie: You are a princess of the one true King and that is the most beautiful princess you could ever be. Kylie, I pray that as you go home and throughout your life, you will grow to become a God-fearing, loving, and confident woman in who God has created you to be. 2 Corinthians 6 tells us that we have God as our Father which makes us daughters of Him as well. Psalm 139:14 promises us that God made us wonderfully and fearfully, Ephesians 2:10 is my prayer that you would walk in the path God has for you: ‘For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good work, which God prepared before-hand, that we should walk in them’”

“Dear Princess Kylie: …You are truly a princess to the One True King, Kylie. God loves you so very much. His love will never leave you, it’s a forever love. He created you so pretty and He is pleased with you. I pray that as you go home and for the rest of your life you learn more and more about your Heavenly Father, and grow to be confident in the Lord. That you’ll love with all your heart, soul and mind (Matthew 22:37) Never forget that God is there for you at all times. It’s a promise that God didn’t make any mistakes when He created us. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!! Never forget that! Psalm 139:14: ‘I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. I know that full well.’”

They also made her some beautiful artwork. On the first, they put her name in the center of the page and surrounded it with these words in beautiful fonts:

Wonderful
Adored
Cherished
God’s Princess
Treasured
Loved
Blessed
Created by God for a Purpose
Beautiful.

On the second they wrote, and decorated with beautiful fonts and flourishes, these words:

You are a daughter of the KING!
Galatians 3:26

Yes, I can confidently say that Kylie’s Buddies, Lydia and Sophia, were definitely our favorite part of the special needs family camp at Hidden Acres. What a gift they were to our daughter and to our entire family. God, once again, went before us and worked everything for our good.

This experience will stay with us for a lifetime. We feel refreshed, renewed and reminded that God is for us. He has a purpose in every aspect of our life and we can do anything in His strength. (Philippians 4:13)

Has Your Family Attended a Special Needs Family Camp?

If so, we’d love to hear about your experience. So give the camp a shout out in the comment box if you want. Thanks!

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Amy Stout is a wife, mother, and free-lance writer. You can visit her website at His Treasured Princess.

Author Jolene Philo

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