Do Not Be Afraid

by jphilo | Sep 15, 2014 | Reviews

This month marks the first anniversary of the publication of Sun Shine Down, Gillian Marchenko’s transparent memoir. In it, she tells about coming to terms with her third daughter’s diagnosis of Down syndrome, and her slow and reluctant falling in love with her baby girl. Today’s guest post celebrates Gillian’s daughter, the anniversary of Sun Shine Down, and the faithful presence of God in our troubles. At the bottom of the page, you’ll get the scoop on how to enter the give away for a copy of Gillian’s memoir.

Do Not Be Afraid

The phrase “Do not be afraid” is written in the Bible 365 times. That’s a daily reminder that God is in control! Whatever you a dealing with today, give it to Him and watch how God takes care of you.

A friend of mine posts this status on Facebook and it immediately gives me pause.

Although I’ve been to Bible college, I wasn’t aware that “do not be afraid’ is in the Bible 365 times. Wow. One for every day of the year. Amazing. My feet start to tingle and my face grows hot. I reread the sentences in awe.

“Thank you, God, for this,” I whisper.

Too often, as a parent of two girls with significant special needs (Polly has Down syndrome and a stroke and seizure disorder called Moyamoya. Evangeline has Down syndrome, too, and was diagnosed with autism just this last year), I let fear rule.

Truth be known, I’ve lived mostly afraid for the last eight years, ever since my ears first heard the words ‘Down syndrome.’ Since then there have been strokes, missed developmental milestones, seizures, brain surgeries, social regression, tonsils removed, vertebrae problems, biting, scratching, tears, and too many other situations and incidents to name. I learned quickly how to walk around with one foot elevated.

I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

‘Do not be afraid’ sends a wave of warmth through me. I decide right away to give it my own interpretation. I want to claim it as a promise from God. ‘Do not be afraid’ becomes ‘relax, nothing else is going to happen.’ ‘Do not be afraid’ means ‘enough bad and scary and difficult. Don’t worry about another shoe dropping.’ ‘Do not be afraid’, I imagine God saying, ‘I got this, and everything is going to be okay.’

Oh, how I love my interpretation. Oh, how I want ‘do not be afraid’ to mean those things.

But as follower of Christ, as someone who tries to read and understand scripture, as a person who wants to commune with God, I know better.

‘Do not be afraid’ isn’t in the Bible 365 times so a person will trust that nothing bad is going to happen to her family. Because this is life. We live in a fallen, broken world and bad stuff happens all the time.

365 days a year.

Some beloved verses in the Bible come to mind:

After this, the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision: “Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward.” –Genesis 15:1

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. –Deuteronomy 31:6

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. –Isaiah 41:10

These verse don’t claim nothing bad or difficult will happen. In fact, all kinds of bad things happened in Genesis, Deuteronomy, and Isaiah.

Instead, these verses tell us not to be afraid because no matter what comes, God is on our side. “I am your shield, your very great reward.” “For the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” “I will strengthen you and help you;”

Now, this is the correct interpretation.

As a mom to kids with special needs, more shoes will drop. It is just life.

But I am encouraged. I am not alone. God is with me. God is with my family. And because I get to be in his presence through the blood of his son Jesus, I don’t have to be afraid.

When bad things come, I don’t have to be afraid.

“Thank you, God, for this,” I whisper.

“Do not be afraid,” he answers.

Sun Shine Down Book Give Away

Do Gillian’s words make you want to read her book? Then you are invited to enter the give way in which one reader will win the copy of Sun Shine Down Gillian is providing. Just leave a comment in the box below by midnight on Saturday, September 20, 2014 to be entered in the drawing. That’s all there is to it!

Brave Mothers and Courageous Children

by jphilo | Jul 21, 2014 | Walking Down the Gravel Road

Last week, my heart grew heavier and heavier
as the media reported more and more bad news.
Downed airliners.
Fighting in the Middle East.
People in this country shouting at refugee children,
holding ugly signs telling them to to home.

I gave God an earful.
I told him I wasn’t sure about living in a world as cruel as this,
a world stripped of loveliness and compassion,
a world devoid of beauty.

And then, God answered,
as He so often does,
on my morning walk.

I looked up,
and there on the edge of the woods,
stood a doe.
Immobile.
I walked closer and closer
to where she stood sentry.
Closer than I’ve ever been to a deer before.

Close enough to see
her heavy udder,
her swollen teats.
She bravely held her ground,
watching over a hidden fawn,
trembling,
but never flinching
as I passed by.

Then, at the end of my walk
as I ascended our driveway,
God spoke again.

A male indigo bunting,
very small,
very young,
sat on the gravel only a few steps away.
He hopped about,
flew into the bushes unsteadily,
then flew with wobbly precision across the driveway
and perched in one tree,
then on the dead branch of another.

I stood,
transfixed by the courageous bird,
patchy with iridescent blue feathers
and intoxicated
with the freedom of flight,
until he took wing again
and flew away.

“My world is filled
with brave mothers,
with courageous children,”
He said.
“My world is filled with beauty.”

Autism Overload and Elephants in the Room, Pt 2

by jphilo | Jul 18, 2014 | Different Dream, Encouragement, Spiritual Support

Autism Overload and Elephants in the Room, Pt 2

Photo Credit: vectorolie at www.freedigitalphotos.net

Yesterday, in Part One of her series, guest blogger Sarah Broady mentioned how autism overload is part of every day life for her family. She writes about it on Facebook, thinks about it on dates with her husband, and talks about it on the phone with friends. Today, she explains how she’s come to terms with autism–the elephant in the room–over the past few years.

Autism Overload and Elephants in the Room, Pt 2

Autism Overload and Grief

I am happy to say autism doesn’t bother me nearly as much as it did a year ago. Before coming to what I think was true acceptance of my son having autism, I grieved over every one of these thoughts. Sometimes I was in autopilot mode and did what I needed to do or made the necessary decisions in the moment without falling apart. But for all the internal thoughts, for every post I read or wrote about autism, for every déjà vu realization that this autism thing was really real, I grieved. It came in various ways, which would require a whole different post, but it came.

Autism Overload and Acceptance

There are probably definitely parents out there who might read this and be angry at me or maybe just angry in general. Angry that I’m okay with something that isn’t okay, even though they understand the continuous onslaught of autism questions and musings. Frustrated that they are not there yet. Not that I have reached some pinnacle of acceptance that negates any grief of future challenges. I’m not trying to brag that I don’t struggle like everyone else. I do. It’s just that things are different now. My struggles are the same, but the way I handle them takes on a different form. Usually. I’ve just come to accept that this is part of my life, so it doesn’t always bother me to see so much autism stuff in my email and Facebook news feed.

Autism Overload and Faith

I think that this is one area of my life that is proof positive of the hope that I have always clung to that is real and true: Jesus is King and is making all things new–now. I can’t wait for the day when autism is no longer a struggle because all struggles will be ultimately and finally conquered forever. But for now, He has given me grace more than sufficient for my need to be okay in a not okay world.

Invitation to Talk

If you’re not okay right now, bogged down in the autism world, that’s okay. We don’t have to be okay all the time. I just want you to know that Jesus is your “hope in autism” with immeasurable grace for your every need. Please feel free to contact me at sarah@spacelots.com if you need someone to talk with. Sometimes you just need another person who can honestly say, “I understand.”

You can also read more about Sarah and her family at her blog Hope in Autism.

Autism Overload and Elephants in the Room: Part 1

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Sarah Broady and her husband have three boys. Their second son is autistic. Sarah is an autism advocate and has spoken to state capitol committees to secure better services on behalf of families living with autism. Her greatest joy comes in being an encouragement to other parents who are walking the same road she is walking. She blogs about their life raising a son with autism as they hope and delight in God at Hope in Autism. and interviews people involved with disabilities and special needs at A Special Hope Podcast. She is also writing a book that gives hope in Jesus on the special needs path. She speaks at Christian-related special needs events to reach parents on a more personal level. You can contact Sarah through her blog or by email at sarah@hopeinautism.com.

Author Jolene Philo

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Special Needs Turmoil? Be Still and Know True Rest

Photo Credit: sirikul at www.freedigitalphotos.net

Holy Week is here, and as much as guest blogger Rebekah Benimoff hoped to write about a Lenten spirit, life as the parent of a teen with special needs got in the way. So today she’s here to share the cry of her mother’s heart and desire to know the true rest we have in Christ who died for us and rose again.

Knowing Rest

Tonight I need a pouring out, and a flood of pouring in. There has been rain and chaos throughout these past weeks, as hormones rage and my boy is growing into a man. Daily calls from the school nurse reporting high blood glucose levels and ketones, while I am at doctor appointments or exercising or grocery shopping, or simply trying to catch my breath. My precious son has been at home quite a bit in recent weeks during these learning days… I can count on one hand the number of days he’s been well enough to remain at school through every class. A test tonight revealed high anxiety levels and a question:

Are you having anxiety attacks?

No, but I am trying to mimic pancreas function in a growing boy and truly, I am clueless as to what to do next. Insulin has been increased, and levels are high one minute and an hour later plummeting. I am confused, and although I focus on tracking and problem solving, it seems trouble-shooting has not kept away disquietude. I’ve walked that path of hushed chaos and I remember truths learned previous seasons. Life can be a holy mess, yet after another chaotic day, this rings true:

The murkier the mish-mash, the more I must cling to the One who embodies holiness. I desperately need Jesus, and while I’d love Jehovah Shalom—the Lord my peace—to smooth out the pandemonium of this life, I know that the God who sees me (El Roi), and knows my every need, will provide (Jehovah Jireh) what I need most—more of the Presence Who fills and sustains.

Speak the name of Jesus and darkness flees.
Cry out for power and wisdom beyond myself, and the Voice that soothes whispers love.
Pour out every anxiety upon the altar and know Peace incarnate.
Lean into the arms of Love and be held, cradled, and comforted.

I love You, Eternal One, source of my power, who holds me and shelters me in times of chaos.
The Eternal is my rock, my fortress, and my salvation—my safe-covering, my saving strength.
He is my True God, the stronghold in which I hide—my shepherd, He IS my safe place.
My strong shield, the horn that calls forth help, and my tall-walled tower—my protector, my provision.

I am rescued from the snare of my enemy, from fear and despair, from weakness and uncertainty.

I call out to the Eternal, who is worthy to be praised—that’s how I will be rescued from my enemies.The bonds of death encircled me; the currents of destruction tugged at me;the sorrows of the grave wrap around me;the traps of death lay in wait for me. (Psalm 18:3–5; the Voice edition)

I am set free from fear of death and pain, from confusion—and even the many difficulties of managing unpredictable medical needs—for I know Who to invite into these chaotic days: The Everlasting, The Alpha and Omega, who is my Rock, my stability when the foundations of my world are shaken.

In my time of need, I called to the Eternal; I begged my True God for help. He heard my voice echo up to His temple, and my cry came to His ears. (Psalm 18:6; the Voice edition)

Through raging hormones, unstable blood glucose levels and a teen who’s felt ill more days than he’s felt well, there is One I can cling to.

He reached down His hand from above me; He held me. He lifted me from the raging waters. He rescued me from my strongest enemy, from all those who sought my death, for they were too strong. They came for me in the day of my destruction, but the Eternal was the support of my life. He set me down in a safe place; He saved me to His delight; He took joy in me. (Psalm 18: 16–19; the Voice edition)

Tonight I recognize the need to be still and know the presence of the Lover of my Soul, the One who takes great joy in loving me. My All in All, the quencher of my thirst, the Giver of all rest and provision. Anxiety laid down as prayer sloughs away the restless cares of my heart.

For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure. (Psalm 18:31–32; NIV edition)

My man-child said it this week: the only thing predictable about life is its unpredictability. I can’t count on trends of blood glucose levels and best guesses of insulin needs. But I can count on, believe, and rest in my Rock, my fortress, the Most High God who showers me with love and provision in every season; the Lord my Peace, Who is the gift in the midst of turmoil.

Do You Need Rest?

Do Rebekah’s words speak to your heart? Do you need rest? Leave a comment about how the Different Dream bloggers can pray for you.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Rebekah Benimoff is the wife of a husband with PTSD and the mother of two young men, both of whom grew up with medical and special needs. She blogs at In the Chaos…. and In the Calm (justmemama.blogspot.com).

Author Jolene Philo

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Hope in Hard Places, Part 2

Caregivers need tremendous amounts of hope and encouragement to meet the challenges of caring for kids with special needs. Guest blogger Rebekah Benimoff knows how hard hope can be to find. Yesterday, she explained where she found hope when her caregiving journey was darkest. Today, she explains how God’s character became the foundation of her hope.

Hope in Hard Places, Part 2

Some ask, “Where is God in the midst of suffering?” Others believe in a capricious God, who shows up only when it suits his fancy. Yet the One who walked the road of agony willingly, even with gratitude, is not fickle or flighty. He is faithful. The closeness we have in every season has much more to do with me.

How deep will I let his love go? What and Who do I cling to? Faith is a choice; how open is my heart to intimacy? In this life, sometimes closeness sears. I feel pain deepest in the closest relationships. Life can be unstable; suffering at times seems more than I can bear. People can let me down, and sometimes I translate that into my relations with God.

No matter the special needs battle, it is imperative to grasp truth. To know that God is not frivolous with my love—even if I fear the pain that comes in confronting my wounds. The injury must be treated to be healed. This can be frightening—but wellness is worth the work, for my loved ones and for me, too.

Where Have You Found Hope in Hard Places?

How have you learned to find hope in hard places? What have you learned about God that assures you of his faithfulness? What truths do you cling to? Leave a comment to share your insights. And stop by Rebekah’s website, Just Me Mama, to read more of her insights.

Hope in Hard Places, Part 1

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop-up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

Photo Credit: www.freedigitalphotos.net

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Rebekah Benimoff is the wife of a husband with PTSD and the mother of two young men, both of whom grew up with medical and special needs. She blogs at In the Chaos…. and In the Calm (justmemama.blogspot.com).

Do Not Be Afraid

Sun Shine Down Book Give Away

Autism Overload and Elephants in the Room, Pt 2

Autism Overload and Elephants in the Room, Pt 2

Autism Overload and Grief

Autism Overload and Acceptance

Autism Overload and Faith

Invitation to Talk

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Special Needs Turmoil? Be Still and Know True Rest

Knowing Rest

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Hope in Hard Places, Part 2

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Where Have You Found Hope in Hard Places?

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