Top 10 Things I Wish I Could Give Up for Lent

by jphilo | Feb 23, 2016 | Top Ten Tuesday

This year I decided to give up snacks for Lent. With my efforts failing more often than not, I’ve come up with a long list of what I wish I’d given up instead.

10. House cleaning. This one I would willingly doing for Lent and beyond.

9. Being an unpublished fiction writer. I’m working diligently on this one. But parts of accomplishing it are beyond my control.

8. A sentimental attachment to stuff. My closets would be much happier if this had been my choice. Plus, it would make #10 more feasible.

7. An illogical desire for a swimming pool. It’s a luxury I can do without and an unwanted, extra task since the Man of Steel’s take on it is, “Go ahead and do it…as long as you’re the one who cleans it.”

6. Messy closets and dresser drawers. See #8.

5. Impatience. Except I want to give this one up immediately, as in right now, rather than spend 40 days grinding away at it.

4. Self-righteousness. Mom used to call it a tendency to pat myself on my back. But there’s more to it than that. Like a tendency to elevate myself at the expense of others. A tendency I wish was easier to shake.

3. Guilt. The unfounded, irrational kind that sucks away energy that could be better spent on lifting others up rather than mentally beating yourself down.

2. Worry. The ever-present companion of all parents. Even after their kids are grown, gone, and on their own. The slightest sniff of distress in their lives and the worry meister rears its ugly head.

1. A divided heart. Each time we or friends and loved ones leave, whether from town to town or from this world to the next, my heart breaks. A piece of it is left behind where we once lived or travels on with those leaving me behind. Forty days of Lent spent contemplating what Jesus gave up for the world are not enough to repair the brokenness, nor should they be. Instead these 40 days call me to contemplate the glory yet to come. The eternal day when all who hope in Christ will be reunited and every divided heart will be made whole.

What do you wish you’d given up for Lent? Leave a comment.

Fantastic Friday: What Have I Gotten Myself Into?

by jphilo | Apr 17, 2015 | Family

This post from 5 years ago caught my eye while searching the Gravel Road’s archives. Why? Because this April our family is celebrating the birth of a grandchild, I’m attending a conference in Virginia right now, and I’m looking forward to a book release on April 27. Events as momentous as the events of April 2010 which included…well, you’ll find out as you read this week’s Fantastic Friday post.

Yeah, that’s me in the back row with the oh-no-what-have-I-gotten-myself-into expression. The other two are my brother and a cousin. There’s another cousin kneeling in front, but I can’t get her to show up. (Sorry Nell!)

When the good people at Discovery House Publishers emailed on April 13 to say they accepted my proposal for Different Dream Parenting: Raising a Child with Special Needs, my response was similar to the one in the picture. It was the day after we returned from our son’s wedding so my energy level and brain functions were nil at the time.

Needless to say, it took awhile for the news to sink in. Once the old brain cells revived, my first response should have been of the whoop-and-holler-of-joy variety. But no. It was more of the what-have-I-gotten-myself-into and why-did-I-think-I-could-write-a-book-on-this-subject variety.

After a few calming breaths and some positive self-talk, the panic subsided, at least until I printed off the chapter summary that was part of the original proposal. After reading the plan written last December, panic returned, along with self-doubt. I felt as poorly trained and utterly inadequate for the task at hand as I had each August of my twenty-five year teaching career.

But over the next several days, God calmed me down, patted my head, and held my hand. Every Bible passage I read was about how God prepares his people for his work. Every book I opened contained valuable resources. Visions of experts and parents I’ve met in the past few years – many since Different Dream was released – came to mind.

“Write them down,” a voice whispered inside my head. “Make a plan.”

I started a list of people, books, websites, and organizations. In minutes, the list was two pages long. Their expertise matched many of the subjects to be addressed in my book, though a few holes remained. In the next few days, previously unknown experts appeared on my radar screen. The timing was uncanny.

The voice in my head was clear and insistent. “You’re not in this alone. I’ve spent my life preparing you to do this. You take the logical next step and leave the rest to me.”

Living by faith. Writing by faith. That’s what I’ve gotten myself into.

Let the adventure begin.

That Perfect Scar

by jphilo | Mar 19, 2015 | Different Dream, Encouragement, Spiritual Support

That Perfect Scar

Guest blogger Stephanie Ballard stays busy caring for her son with heart-related special needs. But as February, also known as Heart Month, drew to a close, she found enough time to pick up a pen and write a poem. It’s a poem to her son, who had heart surgery as a tiny baby, and lives with a perfect scar on his torso. If you’re the parent of a child who had early surgery, you will want to have a tissue ready before you go any further.

The Perfect Scar

Sometimes I have those moments
When I think…life’s just not fair
Then I think of all you’ve been through
And I see the scar you bear.
A faded line right down your chest
Made with such careful precision
We wanted you to have a chance
Could there be any other decision?
And so I trace that “perfect” scar
Made with the utmost care
And I realize there is purpose
Behind this scar you wear.

What have you taught us?
You’ve taught us how to face a storm
(Some things are just out of our hands)
Life has no handy guidebook
(Things don’t always go as you’ve planned)
People come into our lives
(Sometimes it is just for a season)
But God brings them into our lives
(And I know that He must have a reason)
Normal, uneventful days
(The kind that we always hoped for)
These are the days I say, “Wow, God!”
We just never know what lies in store.
If I can place a feeding tube,
Without even getting distraught
Perhaps, maybe, I might be
Much stronger than I thought.
It’s okay to be afraid
And it’s all right to cry
It’s okay to feel lost sometimes
It’s even okay to ask…why?
You face life with courage
(Knowing God set you apart)
Every little thing you do
You do with all of your heart.
No crystal ball exists for us
(To see us through each strife)
We only have one wish for you…
An ordinary life.

You’ve taught us to love one another
(Helping each other to cope)
You’ve taught us compassion for others
You’ve taught us to never lose hope.

You already have quite a story
Which you can someday share
And I can see it’s beauty
Behind that scar you wear.

~Stephanie Ballard

Does Your Child Have a Perfect Scar?

Are you the parent of a child with a perfect scar? Have your years parenting your child revealed a purpose for what your child has gone through? Leave a comment in the box about what you’ve learned…or perhaps are still learning from your child’s perfect scar.

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By

Stephanie Ballard is the mother of two sons, her youngest son, Braeden, was born with Kabuki Syndrome and congenital heart defects. Her oldest son, Colin is in the military. She enjoys writing poetry and life lessons about her journey in life.

Author Jolene Philo

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Friday on this Gravel Road means it’s time to dig through the archives for a past post worth another read. This one hails from February of 2013. Reading it was a bit discouraging, as it showed my impatience hasn’t increased much in the past 2 years. Anyone else suffer from this affliction? Leave a comment R-I-G-H-T N-O-W so we can start a support group pronto!

This past Wednesday was not a good day.

First, I was supposed to meet a friend for coffee in the morning and because I’d written the time down wrong, got there a half hour late. Being an impatient person, I hate to keep others waiting.