Safe Harbor for Special Needs Parents

by jphilo | Jan 23, 2013 | Different Dream, Self-Care and Stress, Special Needs Parenting

Safe Harbor for Special Needs Parents

Safe harbor can be a hard place to find for parents raising kids with special needs. In the poem below, guest blogger Stephanie Ballard describes her search for safety and her gratitude for what she learned along the way.

In Need of Safe Harbor

I sat on a hill looking out at the endless blue waves on a recent trip to Lake Michigan. I wondered where the water met its end. “I cannot remember the last time I had quiet time to myself to simply think,” I told my friend while rubbing my hands over the silky white sand. I feel at peace here, watching the waves roll in with a steady assurance. Life has changed since my son Braeden was born with multiple health issues. Sometimes I am so tired that I wonder where I will continue to get strength for the battles that lie ahead. I can only hope that my source of comfort and hope is as endless as the water that helped to ease my fears and uncertainties that day. Either way…I am forever changed since he came into my life. I am also surprisingly grateful.

Safe Harbor

What happened to that woman,
Carefree and naïve?
Who said good things will always come,
To those that just believe.
Her quiet…calm assurance,
Left no room for defeat,
With faith that was unwavering,
Endless and complete.
Providence had given her,
The strength to face a trial,
She faced each day with courage,
Taking time to stop and smile.

And then the storm clouds hovered,
The thunder rolled her way,
Adversity had found her,
The billowing clouds turned to grey.
A few brief words would bring the news,
No one should have to hear,
Something was wrong with her child,
Can there be a greater fear?

The lightning flashed,
The storm grew strong,
The walls began to shake,
“Oh Lord,” she said, “this storm’s too strong;
I believe my heart might break.”
The rain poured down on window sills,
Branches swayed like a sailor at sea,
The woman held her child close,
Saying, “Please do not take him from me.”
Some wondered if her faith was weak,
While some said, “keep believing.”
But people don’t always have answers,
And some words aren’t worth receiving.
And then she heard a whisper,
As the whipping winds seemed to demand,
The faith that she barely clutched onto,
This was NOT the life she had planned!
“My child I know of your heartache,
For this storm has been fierce and demanding,
You wonder if you have any strength left at all,
But do you not see…you’re still standing?
I didn’t expect your unwavering strength,
For I know that you don’t understand,
I just ask for an arm held high;
Please reach out for my hand!”
People will say many things,
(As people are so prone)
But any storm you face in life,
“You’ll never face alone”.

What happened to that woman?
Who stood against the storm?
While wind, and rain, raged harsh and long,
Against her fragile form,
What happened to that woman?
With little left to give?
God opened up her heart one day,
And taught her how to live.

~Stephanie Ballard

What’s Your Safe Harbor?

Have you found your way to safe harbor? Are you still looking? Leave a comment about your search.

If you enjoyed Steph’s poem, you might like some of her other guest posts: Teachers in Room 16, Thank You! and How I’d Like to Write Your Story.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Stephanie Ballard is the mother of two sons, her youngest son, Braeden, was born with Kabuki Syndrome and congenital heart defects. Her oldest son, Colin is in the military. She enjoys writing poetry and life lessons about her journey in life.

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A Medically Fragile Child’s Perfect Ending

I’d like to introduce you to Stephanie Ballard, a new Different Dream guest blogger. You may recall meeting her in September, when she shared the poem she wrote for her son’s teacher. Reader response to that post led to an invitation to guest blog on a regular basis. Today, she describes how she longs to write the perfect ending to her medically fragile son’s story.

How I’d Like to Write Your Story

I can hear the gentle patter of his footsteps scurrying across the carpet as he dashes into my bedroom in the early morning hours. “Good morning mama,” he whispers while climbing into the bed beside me.

“I’m awake,” I answer sleepily, as he wraps his tiny fingers into my hair. “Guess who loves you?” he asks.

I find myself smiling from under the covers. This has become our ritual-a game that belongs only to us. I relish these morning moments…as I am able to connect with my son without all of the interruptions and worries that I know we will face as the day wears on.

No one could have prepared me for life with a medically fragile child. It is a day by day learning lesson full of challenges and triumphs, but my son is my greatest teacher. “Hmm”…I say in response to his question. “Does Braeden love me?”

He giggles in response, and nods his head up and down emphatically.

“Guess who I love?” I ask in response, as I tumble out from under my warm comforter.

He silently taps his finger under his chin, as if in thought mode and then says, “Coffee?” I laugh out loud, knowing that life is full of uncertainties…but I am thankful for this moment in time.

Your Story

If I could write your story son…
(Oh how I wish I could)
I’d pen for you a journey
That held nothing but good.

Wouldn’t it be perfect
If that job belonged to me?
I think I’d change a thing or two
While writing your story.

I’d write of lasting happiness
The storms would stay at bay
I’d write your story carefully
I’d have so much to say.

You’d know not of a hospital
or days in ICU
You’d only know of simple things
Like other children do.

The sun would rise…Yes everyday
and shine to make you smile
You’d never know a day of pain
You’d never face a trial.

You’d dance to music all your own
While watching Sesame Street
I’d tuck you into bed each night
and life would be complete.

I’d write of picnics in the park
and winters in the snow
I’d write of laughter, joy and love
I’d sit and watch you grow.

I’d proofread till my eyes grew tired
Each line and paragraph
and let my pen fall to the floor
Then stop to hear you laugh.

And never would I question
What sick children must face
Never would I have a need
To ask God for his grace.

If I could write your journey son
Perhaps I’d not convey
The message that HE longs to share
“We must live for today.”

Your story has been written
Each stroke penned with great care
He knows each thought I have of you
He’s numbered every hair.

No, I can’t write your story
Although I wish I could
I must heed what he says to me
“All things work for the good.”

If I could write the life you’d live
I’d fail…don’t you see?
I’ll leave it in much better hands
He’ll write it perfectly.

What Perfect Ending Would You Write for Your Child?

Oh my, I know just how Stephanie feels? I so often wanted to rewrite my son’s story when he was medically fragile. It took a long time for me to leave the pen in God’s hand. How about you? What have you been learning from your child lately? Leave a comment. Read more about Stephanie and her medically fragile son’s heart condition at her blog, With a Hopeful Heart.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

By

Stephanie Ballard is the mother of two sons, her youngest son, Braeden, was born with Kabuki Syndrome and congenital heart defects. Her oldest son, Colin is in the military. She enjoys writing poetry and life lessons about her journey in life.