Dream a New Special Needs Ministry Dream

Dream a New Special Needs Ministry Dream

by | Mar 21, 2019 | Different Dream, Special Needs Ministry

Dream a New Special Needs Ministry Dream

“Dream a new special needs ministry dream.” Guest blogger Marnie Witters heard God whisper those words to her at a recent conference she attended. Today’s post is filled with practical take aways she hopes will make her dream a reality.

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
C.S. Lewis

Recently, I attended the Together special needs ministry conference at Mt. Paran Church in Atlanta, and I was privileged to meet so many leaders with a heart for people with special needs. As a special needs mom, a teacher, and a volunteer, God continues to show me his vision for this ministry, who he wants to use, and how much bigger he is than me.

Special needs families hold so much knowledge, but the journey is isolating. There’s rarely time to meet and discuss the day’s meltdowns or therapies. But at the conference I was encouraged and inspired when I connected with other moms and dads who have taken leaps of faith to start ministries. Our church is in the process of starting a special needs ministry and it’s a challenge, but we’re pressing forward, being obedient, and can’t wait to see God move.

I’d like to highlight a few of my takeaways from the conference with hopes it encourages, inspires, and helps you as you dream your special needs ministry dream.

Our Past is Our Ministry

Most of the time, our past, as Christians aren’t what we care to relive. But, our past is our ministry. If you’d told me that 10 years ago, when my sons were first diagnosed, I might not be in church today. I wasn’t in a place to receive that message, nor do I think it was God’s right time. As a special needs family, we’ve been church hurt, school hurt, heard words that hurt, seen friends disappear, had friends who never asked, heard pastors whose words hurt, been rejected from schools and sports, and heard teachers who hurt.

Also, over those 10 years, God’s shown us His love, healing, restoration, His purpose, given us friends who truly care, and given me a passion for children with special needs. If I hadn’t experienced all I did, I wouldn’t be able to relate to the isolation, fear of rejection, or be equipped to help the newly diagnosed family. I wouldn’t know the questions to ask families and children when planning a new ministry.

God Is Bigger

Like Moses who told God, “I can’t speak well,” and Jonah who begged “Don’t send me,” I, too, have had many discussions with God about my current ability to think about leading a special needs ministry. You know what he says every….single….time?

“I can. Trust me.” That’s it.

That’s all I get.

At the conference, I heard testimony after testimony of a church receiving gifts that funded entire sensory rooms, a young man with CP and autism who walked for the first time, another special young man who worshipped like David in Psalms! God is on the move. He’s got purpose for these children and wants the world to see him in them.

Don’t tell me God can’t.
We can’t, but he can.
He’s so much bigger than us!
Think of your wildest dream, then multiply it a million times. That’s God’s dream!

Help My Unbelief

Like I said above, I feel inadequate, unprepared, unequipped, and overwhelmed. But, I heard many leaders say the same thing. But they trudged on, they prayed and prayed, and they were obedient to God. They stepped out of their comfort zones and believed God would do it, and he did.

Pray without Ceasing

Leaders encouraged us to pray always. To write down what we need. To write down  children’s name and what they need. We are to intercede for the special needs community around us. We are to pray and ask God for specifics and resources we need. We should continue to pray corporately, for vision, guidance, and provision. He hears us. He hears you.

Do One Thing Excellently

I had a conversation with our children’s pastor on the way home about how we want the ministry to be right and perfect. We want to be prepared. I don’t think it’s going to be perfect the first time. That’s what speakers said. They said, brainstorm, pick that one thing you can do right now, today, and work at it until it’s done with excellence. Then, move to the next thing. But start small. God provided a scripture to leave you with.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:9-11

 

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Marnie Witters was a technical writer and editor for more than 20 years until she resigned to homeschool her sons for 8 years. Recently, they went back to public school and she now writes and substitute teaches. She’s been married for 17 years, serves in our amazing church, loves to garden, and enjoys spending time with her family. 

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5 Simple Ways to Make Your Church More Accessible to People with Disabilities

5 Simple Ways to Make Your Church More Accessible to People with Disabilities

by | Mar 21, 2018 | Different Dream, Special Needs Ministry, Spiritual Support

5 Simple Ways to Make Your Church More Accessible to People with Disabilities

If your church wants to be more accessible to people with disabilities, there are several things that can be done immediately to jump start the process. Most of them take more time than money, but none of them require a huge time commitment. Here are 5 simple things I learned from watching Mom wheel Dad into church when I was a kid, from taking our son with special needs to church, from teaching kids with special needs, and from parents raising kids with disabilities. Each item in this list will make your church more accessible. The last one might motivate you to implement more inclusion efforts in your church and beyond.

#1: Improve Signage

From the parking lot to the foyer to the hallways, assess and upgrade signage as needed. Label the most accessible entrances as “quiet” or “family” entrances rather than “disabled” or “handicapped.” Make sure your welcome center is clearly marked so newcomers see right away where to go for information. Have signs inside entrances that indicate how to get to the nursery, the children’s programming wing, and so on.

#2: Train Greeters and Ushers

Train greeters to assess people as they arrive. Then they will know to direct families with babies and children to the nursery and children’s programming wing. They know to point out accessible bathrooms and seating to people with mobility issues, escort those with visual or hearing impairment to accommodation devices, and so on. Ushers should also be trained in case someone slips past the greeters in a crowd, and for those who come after the greeters have left their posts.

#3: Move the Furniture

Look at how the furniture is arranged in your foyers and classrooms. Is there room to maneuver a wheelchair or walker in those spaces? If not, declutter and move the furniture to create easy pathways for everyone. If your worship area has pews, cut some of them down to make spaces for wheelchairs and walkers. If your worship area has chairs, leave spaces open on the aisles for the same purpose. Intersperse these spaces throughout the worship area rather than concentrating them in the front or back row so those with disabilities feel like they are part of the congregation rather than observers on the sidelines.

#4: Open Doors

Get in a wheelchair and test every door in your church to see if it can be opened by someone who uses mobility equipment. When you discover the doors that fail the test (and there will be plenty), work to create a solution. You might prop doors open on Sunday morning or have someone positioned near the doors to open and shut them. Most important, though, is reminding your congregation members to watch for those with mobility issues so they can offer to help.

#5: Study Matthew 19:14

Encourage fellow church goers to study and meditate upon Matthew 19:14: “Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.’” (ESV)

Ask each other, Who is excluded from approaching Jesus in this passage? Then apply the passage to your congregation. Ask, Who is excluded from approaching Jesus at your church? Then identify what excludes them and look for ways to change that. Also ask the Holy Spirit to touch hearts to make your church more accessible to people with disabilities and special needs. And be prepared, when God answers those prayers, to seek ways to make your church more accessible to everyone who needs Jesus.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

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10 Ways for Churches to Care for Special Needs Families

10 Ways for Churches to Care for Special Needs Families

by | Nov 21, 2016 | Different Dream, Special Needs Ministry, Spiritual Support

10 Ways for Churches to Care for Special Needs Families

What are some practical ways for churches to care for special needs families? At last spring’s Accessibility Summit, I was part of a panel that tried to answer that question. Today’s post shares the suggestions I provided based on childhood observations of the care extended after my dad was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.

Ten Ways for Churches to Care for Special Needs Families

  1. Be there when the crisis hits. Whether it’s a devastating diagnosis before birth, soon after birth, or when the child is older, have a plan in place so someone provides face-to-face support soon after the crisis begins.
  2.  Be prepared to watch and follow the parent or family’s lead. Families need presence and compassion rather than theological insights in a crisis. Take time to listen and assess their spiritual maturity rather than saying things like “God is sovereign over all things” while people are grappling with new realities.
  3. Be prepared for hard questions. Parents or family members may well ask questions like “Why would a loving God allow this to happen to my child?” That’s a question most aren’t prepared to answer. However, we can assure them that God knows how it feels to be a parent who loses a child, that Jesus, His Son, knows what it is to suffer, and that He weeps with those who weep.
  4. Be aware of the guilt parents feel. They may not voice their guilt, but most parents feel they are in some way responsible for their child’s special needs. They need assurance that their child’s condition is not a consequence of their actions or punishment for their sins. (John 9:1–9)
  5. Be aware of the energy required to care for someone with special needs and to live with disability. Therefore they may need to turn down invitations, arrive late, or leave events early. Do not take this personally or label them as irresponsible.
  6. Be there for the long haul. Special needs caregivers need support far beyond the crisis of diagnosis. Many caregiving situations last years and even decades. The church needs to stand with them throughout the journey.
  7. Be there for the family, whether or not someone comes to faith. Christian compassion for special needs families must not be contingent upon family members coming to faith.
  8. Be aware of long term, reoccurring grief. The grief parents feel while caring for a child with special needs continues throughout the life of the child. Rather than being able to come to closure, their grief returns with each missed milestone or life experience.
  9. Be prepared to offer practical help. Provide meals, pet care, and childcare. Do house cleaning yard work, and laundry. Stop by to visit parents or play with kids.
  10. Be prepared to be a spiritual mentor. Read the Bible together, suggest books to read and discuss, ask how you can pray each month, find ways for practicing spiritual disciplines that take demands of caregiving into account.
Resources to Help Churches Care for Special Needs Families

Books:
If God Is Good: Faith in the Midst of Suffering and Evil by Randy Alcorn
Hearing Jesus Speaks Into Your Sorrow by Nancy Guthrie
The Praying Life by Paul Miller
A Different Dream for My Child: Meditations for Parents of Critically or Chronically Ill Children by Jolene Philo
Different Dream Parenting: A Practical Guide to Parenting a Child with Special Needs by Jolene Philo

Online:
www.KeyMinistry.org
www.irrisistiblechurch.org
Snappin Ministries

More Ways Churches Can Care for Special Needs Families

What’s missing from the list of ways churches can care for special needs families? Add them in the comment box!

Do you like what you see at jolenephilo.com/? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon.

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Do Churches Make Special Needs Families Feel Welcome?

Do Churches Make Special Needs Families Feel Welcome?

by | Oct 13, 2016 | Different Dream, Special Needs Ministry, Spiritual Support

Do Churches Make Special Needs Families Feel Welcome?

In May of 2016, the Summer Institute of Theology and Disability was held at Hope College in Holland, Michigan. The Institute featured a smorgasbord of presenters from around the country and the world who are passionate about including people with disabilities and special needs in faith communities.

My default mode at conferences is to take copious notes, which I did while listening to most of the presenters. But when Dr. Erik Carter, Professor in the Department of Special Education at Vanderbilt University and a Vanderbilt Kennedy Center Investigator, began to speak, I stopped writing. Because what Carter reported about what young people with intellectual disabilities and their families say about what it means to belong to a faith community was mind-boggling. And convicting.

Do Churches Make Special Needs Families Feel Welcome?

Carter’s statistics were impossible to digest while taking notes. So I sat back and listened, astounded. Later I emailed Dr. Carter and he graciously sent the hand out, his speaking notes and a copy of his scholarly journal article that was the foundation of his presentation. Here are the statistics he presented to answer the question: Do churches make special needs families feel welcome?

  • 52% of all adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities have not attended a religious service (or some spiritual practice) even once in the prior month.
  • More than 50% of parents report having kept their child with disabilities from participating in a religious activity because support was not provided.
  • More than 66% of teenagers with special needs and disabilities do not attend any type of youth group or small group.
  • More than 33% of parents report having changed their place of worship because their child was not welcome or included.
  • Fewer than 20% of congregations were reported as offering support to children with developmental disabilities within religious education programs, hosting support groups for parents, or providing respite opportunities.

As a Christian commanded by Jesus to bring the children to him, I felt convicted, as every Christian should be when they read these stats. In the eyes of young people with intellectual disabilities, churches are failing them and their families. Many Christians have abandoned them to a spiritual void without a second thought.

Many, but not all. Those attending the Summer Institute in Holland work day in and day out to make faith communities around the country more inclusive.  In his presentation, Dr. Carter outlined these 10 dimensions of belonging that must be implemented for people with and without disabilities to feel like they belong at church.

  1. They must be present at worship. In order to be present, they must be physically able to get in the building.
  2. They must be invited to worship by someone.
  3. They must be genuinely welcomed when they first attend a new faith community.
  4. They must not remain strangers but become known by others fairly quickly.
  5. They must be accepted as they are by congregational leaders and members.
  6. They must be supported, with congregational leaders at the forefront, with accommodations and opportunities to be involved in the full life of the faith community.
  7. They must be cared for spiritually, emotionally, and practically.
  8. They need to be befriended by others.
  9. They need to be needed, asked to serve along with others in the congregation.
  10. They need to be loved and valued by those around them.

That list should apply to every congregation, don’t you think? If your congregation doesn’t include people of all ages with disabilities, your congregation probably isn’t perceived by them as welcoming.

So the question is this: What can you and your faith community do to change the statistic quoted earlier by making everyone who comes through your doors feel welcome?  If you’re looking for ideas, Every Child Welcome, co-authored by Katie Wetherbee and I, has plenty. And it has lists of other books and resources that can change how welcome people with special needs feel when they walk through your doors.

Do Churches Make Special Needs Families Feel Welcome Where You Live?

How welcome do you feel at church? Leave a shout out for your church or suggest positive ways churches can make families feel more welcome. Thanks!

Do you like what you see at jolenephilo.com/? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email.

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Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon.

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Why You Must Say Yes to Special Needs Inclusion {Even When You’re Afraid}

Why You Must Say Yes to Special Needs Inclusion {Even When You’re Afraid}

by | Apr 20, 2016 | Different Dream, Special Needs Ministry, Spiritual Support

Why You Must Say Yes to Special Needs Inclusion {Even When You’re Afraid}

Guest blogger Sheri Dacon has a message for anyone who is afraid of special needs inclusion. If her call to action doesn’t rouse you, perhaps nothing will. So take courage and read on.

Why You Must Say Yes to Inclusion
{Even When You’re Afraid}

If you’ve ever parented a toddler, you know the drill. Your days are filled with the word “no.”

Parenting experts say toddlers are learning independence. They’re discovering their ability to separate from their parents and make their own choices. Toddlers say “no” a lot. So do their parents.

And the days end up sounding like a broken record of negativity.

Sometimes our churches are too much like a strong-willed toddler. Because far too many of us have become a broken record of negativity when it comes to special needs.

It’s time we quit saying “no” to inclusion.

Let me tell you what it’s like when a church looks at a disabled child and his family — with all their strengths and challenges — and says no.

  • It is devastating and soul-shattering.
  • It’s traumatic and intensely painful.
  • It’s like having the faith rug pulled completely out from under you.
  • It knocks you down and leaves you breathless.

It’s not an exaggeration. This is how too many families experience church.

They are told no.

And they are left shell-shocked.

Many are shaken so turbulently by their experience that they never return.

Others want to try, but are timid and riddled with anxiety about the possibilities of being rejected again.

Some become embittered and turn from faith entirely. Why trust in the Lord of the church when the church can dish out more meanness and apathy than the secular world?

There are plenty of reasons congregations say “no” to special needs families.

  • It costs too much.
  • We don’t know how.
  • We’re just volunteers.
  • We don’t have room.
  • There aren’t any special needs families in our congregation.

But these reasons are simply excuses.

They are shallow copouts that ignore truth and choose the easier path of exclusion instead because. . . well, it’s easier.

It’s easier to close doors and hearts than it is to open them wide and not only accommodate, but welcome, anyone who walks in.

It’s easier to stay complacent and “do church” the way it’s always been done.

It’s easier to ignore people who make us feel uncomfortable.

But is it the gospel way?

Is this the kind of ministry we see played out in the Bible, in the ways of Jesus himself?

Not at all.

Why We Must Say Yes

What we see in the gospel message is an overarching message of yes.

Yes to the broken, yes to the poor, yes to the marginalized, yes to any and all who are willing to come. All are welcome at the Lord’s table.

And so it’s imperative that we — as communities of faith — learn to say yes. We simply must say yes first, then trust that God will show us the way.

  • It’s what Abraham did when God called him to leave his home and go to a new place. He said yes, and became a sojourner.
  • It’s what Noah did when God told him to build an ark. He said yes, and waited for instructions.
  • It’s what David did when God anointed him king. He said yes, then fought for his life, years before receiving the crown.
  • It’s what Mary did when an angel told her she would bear the son of God. She said yes, though she didn’t understand and she faced certain scorn.
  • It’s what Jesus did in the garden as he prayed for another way, and yet chose obedience even unto death. He said yes.

Time and again in scripture, we encounter people who had every reason to say no. Saying no would’ve been the more practical, economic, and logical choice.

And yet, each of these–and so many more–chose to say yes instead. And it made all the difference.

I challenge you today to examine your place of worship, and examine yourself as well. Where do you need to say yes?

Because saying yes might just change everything.

Will You Say Yes to Special Needs Inclusion?

Are you ready to say yes to special needs inclusion? If so, Every Child Welcome: A Ministry Handbook for Including Kids with Special Needs at Church can help you. Whether you’re in a big church with many resources or a small one with only a few volunteers, Every Child Welcome can equip you and other volunteers to say yes with confidence.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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You can learn more about Sheri by visiting her website at sheridacon.com.

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If Disability Ministry Feels Too Big and You Feel Too Small

If Disability Ministry Feels Too Big and You Feel Too Small

by | Mar 23, 2016 | Different Dream, Special Needs Ministry, Spiritual Support

If Disability Ministry Feels Too Big and You Feel Too Small

A few months ago the Joni & Friends disability ministry announced the launch of their new blog, The Irresistible Church. I was pleasantly surprised to receive an invitation to become a guest blogger and quickly said yes. Here’s my first post, which I hope will encourage those involved in disability, special needs, and inclusion ministries to continue the work God has called them to do.

If Disability Ministry Feels Too Big and You Feel Too Small

From the outside looking in, the prospect of beginning a disability ministry feels too big. Disability ministries require big programs, big staffs, big accommodations, and big equipment. All that bigness is daunting. It’s enough to make a person feel too small for the task.

Unless that person grew up looking at disabilities from the inside out. Like my siblings and I did. Our earliest memories revolve around caring for my father, who had multiple sclerosis. Many of those memories revolve include going to church on Sundays during the 1960s and 1970s long before disability ministries came into vogue.

Our church didn’t have the big things. No handicapped parking spots. No curb cutaways. No wheelchair ramp. No elevator to the basement or the second floor. No handicapped accessible bathroom. Come to think of it, our church had so many big obstacles, it’s a wonder we didn’t quit going.

We probably would have stop attending church if it hadn’t been for the people. People who didn’t let the big things make them feel small. Instead, they found small things they could do to include our family in the life of the church.

  • The parking spot closest to the door was left open for our family.
  • Men appeared the minute we arrived to get Dad into the building.
  • Once Dad was inside, people immediately greeted him and visited without condescension or awkwardness.
  • When Dad’s disease progressed and he couldn’t go to church, adult Sunday school classmates took turns visiting him during the service so Mom could attend.
  • The pastor came over often to visit.
  • Other men from the congregation often stopped by on their way home from work in the afternoons to chat with Dad, too.
  • An elderly man took my siblings and I to the community Easter egg hunt every year.

Zechariah 4:10 says “Who has despised the day of small things?” (New American Standard). It’s my favorite Bible verse, perhaps because of the constant flow of small acts of kindness people showed to Dad and our family when I was a kid.

The Holy Spirit brings that verse to mind whenever disability ministry feels too big and I feel too small. His still, small voice prompts me to look for the little things I can do instead of dwelling on the big things I can’t accomplish. If, like me, you have a heart for disability ministry, but go to a church that doesn’t have a formal program, I encourage you to memorize Zechariah 4:10 and begin praying for the Holy Spirit to show you small ways to minister to adults with disabilities and children with special needs in your church.

By taking those two small steps, your perspective about what disability ministry is will begin to change. You will find ways to make your church more inclusive. Those ways may seem small and insignificant, but they are not. They are the life of the church, the hand of Christ, and a light upon the path for future generations who need someone to show them the value of small things.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon.

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