How To Demystify Special Needs at School

How To Demystify Special Needs at School

by | Dec 6, 2018 | Different Dream, How-Tos, School/Education, Special Needs Parenting

How To Demystify Special Needs at School

I am grateful to my colleagues who taught me how to demystify special needs at school. A special education teacher in our building and the guidance counselor wanted to mainstream a child with developmental delays into my third classroom for subjects like handwriting and music. I was game, but unsure of how to start.

“Tell your students what’s going on,” the special education teacher advised. “Help them get to know Kendra. I’ll talk to her parents after school about how much you can say.”

After the phone call, she reported back. “Her parents are willing to talk to your class and answer their questions. They said kids will make up their own answers if they aren’t given any information. And that’s not good.”

Kendra’s parents spent a half hour telling my students about Kendra’s diagnosis and answering the children’s questions. They wanted to know about her favorite things, how to talk and play with her, and what to do when she behaved in ways they didn’t understand. The foundation laid that day made my students more caring and friendly toward Kendra, a valuable lesson for all of them.

I learned a valuable lesson about how to demystify special needs at school that day, too. I used what I learned repeatedly during my teaching career to clear up misconceptions children had about their classmates with special needs–from juvenile diabetes to developmental delays, from cerebral palsy to autism and more. The suggestions below can help you do the same.

  1. Enlist a colleague’s support. Ask a special education teacher, the guidance counselor, or building principal to assist you. They can help approach parents or do one on one activities with a child with special needs who doesn’t want to be part of the discussion.
  2. Ask parents for permission and information. Parents may offer to be directly involved in the discussion as Kendra’s parents did. Others may want you to lead it. In that case, ask what they want to be shared about the child’s disability. If you are just getting to know the child, gather information to acquaint classmates with the whole person, not just the disability.
  3. Give children the opportunity to ask questions. Doing so makes kids part of the discussion and provides you with insight from their perspective. They may bring up worries or past history you don’t know. Their questions can be a valuable source of information for you.
  4. Provide practical suggestions. Give children ideas of how to strike up a conversation, how to include children in wheelchairs on the playground, what to say to students from other classrooms who ask questions, what to do in an emergency, and when to report behaviors of children with or without special needs. Do some role play if you have time. The better equipped children are, the more likely they are to empathize and be compassionate friends.
  5. Follow up and provide feedback. A month or so after the initial discussion, check back with all your students. Ask how things are going for typical kids and those with special needs. You can also ask other building faculty and staff for their observations to get a well-rounded perspective. Praise children for what they’re doing well and problem-solve challenges as a group. When children know they are accountable, appreciated, and supported by the adults in their world, they will rise to the occasion.

The more we do to demystify special needs at school when children are young, the more likely they are to embrace all their peers wherever they meet—in the community, at church, and eventually in the workplace and the wider world.

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Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

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Ministering To and With Those Who Teach Our Children with Special Needs

Ministering To and With Those Who Teach Our Children with Special Needs

by | Aug 27, 2018 | Different Dream, School/Education, Special Needs Parenting

Ministering To and With Those Who Teach Our Children with Special Needs

The end of August means the beginning of school, a time of year I greeted with equal measures of excitement and dread as a teacher. So my original idea for this post was to shed some light on what teachers think and feel when a new school year rolls around. However, the Holy Spirit had something else in mind because when I sat down to write, the special needs family camp where I’ve served for a long weekend during the past three summers kept intruding on my thoughts.

I was proud enough to burst my buttons when several family members who previously attended as recipients of camp services return as volunteers. This development should be the ultimate goal of every special needs ministry–a shift from ministering to those with disabilities to equipping them for ministry so all eventually minister with one another. As thoughts of camp and thoughts of the new school year cozied up in my mind, a new idea formed.

To read the rest of this post, visit Key Ministry’s blog for parents of kids with special needs.

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Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

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What Teachers Think About the Week Before School Begins

What Teachers Think About the Week Before School Begins

by | Aug 23, 2018 | Different Dream, School/Education, Special Needs Parenting

What Teachers Think About the Week Before School Begins

Have you ever wondered what teachers think about the week before school begins? I can’t speak for every educator, but based on my thoughts during the 25 Augusts of my teaching career and what my teacher friends and rellies say is on their minds, the 5 statements below are a good sampling of what’s buzzing around in their brains.

#1: Inservice Is Going to Be the Death of Me

Teachers go back to work from 3 days to 2 weeks before students show up. Most of those days are dedicated to inservice meetings about new district initiatives, new government policies, state-mandated trainings, and more. The longer I taught, the harder attending inservice became. Because experience had shown me that for teachers to meet students’ needs, they need time to prepare in their classrooms and to read student IEPs and 504 plans. Since little to no time is allotted for those activities in the days before school begins, many teachers believe inservice will be the death of their good intentions for students.

#2: No Way Will I Be Ready for the First Day of School

My subconscious brain manifested this thought the week before school began through a reoccurring nightmare. It began with me at my end-of-summer teeth cleaning sitting in the chair stark naked but for the paper bib around my neck. In the next scene, I was walking down the hallway at school, again in the buff. I was puzzled because other than myself, no one in the dream was disconcerted. The nightmare ended when I woke in a cold sweat, grateful for my nightgown and for the realization that no one else knew how unprepared I felt. Every teacher has their own version of this nightmare because every teacher feels unprepared as school begins.

#3: There Is Never Enough Time in a Day

See  #1 and #2.

#4: My Students Deserve Much More Than I Can Give

Elementary classrooms contain 20–25 students each year. In a perfect 6 hour school day, each student could conceivably receive an average of 15 minutes of individualized attention. But whole class instruction chips away at individual attention time, so each child gets much less. Move into secondary school, and individual student time goes way, way down. Teachers do the best they can, but they leave work every day knowing their students deserve more, much more than they can give.

#5: Soon These Children Will Capture My Heart

A class roster is a list of strangers before school begins. But soon and very soon, as teacher and students get to know one another, the strangeness ends. Personalities emerge, shared history expands, and inside jokes develop. Before teachers know it, their hearts are captured by their students. On the last day of school, hearts break as teachers say good-bye to the students who have become their kids. Teachers know this will happen, and they enter the classroom willingly because their students and the joy they will share is worth the heartbreak.

With thoughts like these buzzing around their brains, it’s no wonder your child’s teacher looks nervous on the first day of school. So when you say a prayer for your child, say a prayer for the teacher, too. Really and truly, they both need it.

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Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

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Back to School Encouragement for Parents Raising Kids with Special Needs

Back to School Encouragement for Parents Raising Kids with Special Needs

by | Aug 16, 2018 | Different Dream, School/Education, Special Needs Parenting

Back to School Encouragement for Parents Raising Kids with Special Needs

For parents raising kids with special needs, there’s no such thing as too much back to school encouragement. To make the encouragement parents need easy to find, the Different Dream gang compiled a list of 5 back to school posts. It’s our back to school gift to you, the caregiving parents we love and love to serve.

#1 : Eleven Back to School Special Needs Posts for Parents

This post from August of 2017 ago brushed the dust off 11 older back to school posts and compiled them into one easy list to make them easier for Different Dream readers to find. You’ll find summaries of the 11 posts and links to take you right to each of them.

#2 : Three Ways to Take a Piece of Summer into the School Year

Child psychologist and mom Dr. Liz Matheis knows how hard it is to let go of summer and embrace a new school year. In 3 Ways to Take a Piece of Summer into the School Year she explains 3 ways to make the transition a little easier.

#3 : Three Special Needs Transition Techniques for a New School Year

Transitions can be tough for kids with special needs and their parents, so in addition to Dr. Liz’s post on the subject, Different Dream served up advice from a teacher’s point of view also. Check it out at 3 Special Needs Transition Techniques for a New School Year.

#4 : My Child Has ADHD and the School Can’t See It

Trish Shaeffer writes honestly about how she advocated for her son until the school recognized his special needs. Check out My Child Has ADHD and the School Can’t See It to discover how she did it.

#5 : The Amazing Shrine School for Children with Special Needs

Last September, Jolene visited the Amazing Shrine School for Children with Special Needs in Memphis, Tennessee. It is, as the title of the post suggests, an amazing place. Perhaps it will provide back to school encouragement for parents of kids with special needs to dream big and advocate for transformational change.

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Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

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9 Ways to Start the School Year Well

9 Ways to Start the School Year Well

by | Aug 9, 2018 | Different Dream, School/Education, Special Needs Parenting

9 Ways to Start the School Year Well

School will soon begin around the country. During my 25 years as a teacher, the parents who used some or all of these 9 tips helped their kids with special needs start the school year on a positive note.

Tip #1: Stick to the School Supply List

Purchase exactly what’s on the school supply list and nothing more. Glitzy, fancy versions of items on the list often create distractions in the classroom. Plus they tend to be more expensive, and who needs that? Filling the school supply list costs enough already.

Tip #2: Start the School Schedule 1–2 Weeks Ahead of Time

Implement school bedtimes, wake up times, breakfast time, and lunch time at least 1–2 weeks before school starts so kids are ready for the school routine. As bodies adapt to set meal times, they are better able to adjust to the school bathroom break schedule.

Tip #3: Develop a Positive Mindset about School

Kids base their attitudes about school and teachers on what they observe in their parents, so you need to develop a positive mindset. Try out these statements to stay positive about school and teachers:

Educators are people, just like you. You are more alike than different from one another.
Most teachers are in education because they care about kids. If they were in it for the money, they would have chosen a different career path.

Even if my school years were negative, my child’s can be positive. In other words, don’t let your bad memories color your child’s life.

Tip #4: Cultivate a Spirit of Cooperation, Not of Confrontation

While parents of kids with special needs must advocate for their children, advocacy works best when parents and educators cooperate. Therefore, start the new year with cooperation. Treat teachers and administrators as members of your child’s team  and see what happens. If they cooperate by following your child’s IEP and suggesting appropriate goals during revisions, do a happy dance. If not, move toward confrontation slowly and calmly. You really can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Tip #5: Take Your Child to Visit a New School Ahead of Time

Call the school secretary (Who, BTW, along with the custodian, knows more about what’s happening at school than the administrator or anyone else) to schedule a visit. The secretary will know when the school is open, what door to enter, and whether or not the floor wax is dry.

Tip #6: Call the Teacher Ahead of Time for a Visit with Your Child
 A casual drop in visit to meet the teacher before school starts may seem like a good idea, but the weeks before school starts are often filled with faculty meetings and trainings. Teachers who have children in day care need advance warning to make arrangement with their providers. So call the teacher ahead of time to be sure the meeting is a go.

Tip #7: Practice Meeting the Teacher

Once the meeting with the teacher is set up, do some role play with your child. Explain how you will introduce him to the teacher and how the child should respond. If your child is verbal, practice small talk about summer vacation and asking the teacher about hers. If your child has a communication device, practice using it. This will facilitate interaction between your child and the teacher before the noisy and crowded first day of school.

Tip #8: Set Up a Communication Method

Some parents can address this during the teacher visit described above if the child can wait calmly across the room. (Bring something for your child to do while you quietly talk to the teacher.) Otherwise, offer to send an email, to arrange a time for a call, or to set up a second visit to discuss a way to communicate regarding your child. This is essential if your child is non-verbal or is verbal, but not a reliable messenger.

Tip #9: Make Reasonable Requests

Your child’s teacher is responsible for the education and well-being of every child in the class, and each child deserves an equal portion of her time, energy, and attention. Therefore, if you are requesting something beyond what’s in your child’s IEP or 504 plan, be sure your request is reasonable. If your child needs more support than his or her present placement and IEP provides, ask for a meeting with the educational team about increased services. The team, not the teacher, has the power to authorize changes in services and placements.

Our kids with special needs deserve a positive start to the the school year. Hopefully, these 9 ideas will help you partner with the school system to make it happen!

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

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A Unique Back to School Perspective

A Unique Back to School Perspective

by | Aug 8, 2018 | Different Dream, School/Education, Special Needs Parenting

A Unique Back to School Perspective

Janae Copeland is an educator and parent of 2 daughters with special needs. As she and her husband, a school administrator, and their children prepare to begin a new school year.

A Unique Back to School Perspective

I’m an elementary music teacher in the school my youngest two children attend. My husband is also a teacher and now serves as a middle school assistant principal. He also has the unique perspective of having been a student with an IEP throughout his public-school career. Our oldest daughter, who has had a 504 plan since 3rd grade, is now an 11th grader, and our youngest daughter has an IEP. Here are truths we have learned from our unique back to school perspective.

#1: The IEP Process Is Daunting for Everyone at the Table

Before I was a parent, I participated in many IEP meetings as a teacher. It was hard understand some of the decisions and strategies discussed for students. I wanted the best for my students and if my idea of “best” didn’t match the stated outcomes, I experienced internal frustration. Fast forward and my husband and I were headed into our youngest daughter’s initial IEP placement meeting when she turned 3. We’d both been around the table before as educators, but I hadn’t anticipated the difficulty, anxiety, and emotional drain of the process as parents. I wasn’t sure we were being heard or understood. I worried about over-reacting and was concerned that the services suggested weren’t going to be enough. I was on the verge of tears and utterly exhausted. I felt immediate empathy for the parents who had been around the IEP table with me in the past, many of whom faced much deeper challenges than we could imagine,

Through this experience, I learned the IEP process is hard for the parents, for teachers, for the specialists and for the administrators. Each person comes with their own perspective and piece of the puzzle. The pieces don’t always fit easily. Some get thrown to the side, though they are pivotal to the image being created. It takes time, effort and patience to figure out the picture. If everyone at the table maintains an open mind and listens to each perspective, the pieces will come together. It will still be hard, it will still take time, and the outcomes may not match what everyone wants. But if the focus remains on the child, all turn out well.

#2: Teachers and Staff Want What’s Best for Your Child

As parents, it’s easy to walk into every school meeting feeling like you are your child’s defender in a great battle. While you are our child’s best advocate, I can assure you that the other people in the room are advocating for your child, too. You know your kid best, but educators also know your child in a different way. They see a side of your child that only an educator who spends hours every day with them can. As a teacher in my child’s school I knowing how much her teachers are invested in her success. I see first hand how they relate to my child and other students in the classroom each day. If every person involved in the child’s education approaches meetings with a mindset of mutual trust and shared goals, conversations can not only be pleasant, but also extremely productive and beneficial. 

#3: Every Child Is a Special Needs Child

As cliché as it sounds, I have found this to be true year after year. There are measurable, legal difference in students considered to special needs and neuro-typical students. But, there are as many variations in these categories as there are students in each classroom. Even neuro-typical students have needs teachers have to address. Needs range from anxiety to traumas, from effects of poverty to social challenges, from parental absence to behavioral challenges. I make this point as a reminder that teachers work constantly to meet everyone’s needs. They should be given grace and support as they work to make sure your child, and every child, is successful. 

As we head into the 2018-19 school year, I hope these thoughts will shape your back to school perspective. My prayer is that all special needs children and the teachers blessed to work them will have a successful and fulfilling school year!

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

 

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Janae Copeland is a wife and mother of 3 daughters. She lives in Jacksonville, NC where she is a K-5 music educator. She became a Different Dream mom when her oldest daughter, Jayda, was born in 2002 with hydrocephalus and cerebral palsy. Nine years later, her daughter Clark was born with EA/TEF and right microtia/atresia. Janae is grateful to have been entrusted with the care all 3 of her special daughters and seeks out opportunities to help other young mothers who may need support as they begin these same journeys with their own blessings from God.

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