Clinging to Faith while Parenting Children with PTSD

Clinging to Faith while Parenting Children with PTSD

Clinging to Faith while Parenting Children with PTSD

This post is the thirteenth and final article in this ongoing series about children with PTSD.  Though the first ten articles in this series focused exclusively on PTSD in children, the final three address issues common to parents raising traumatized kids. Today’s post looks at six truths that can help parents cling to their faith when the challenges of raising children with PTSD seem overwhelming.

Truth #1: Christians’ understanding mental health lags far behind their understanding of physical health.

Before the age of modern medicine, physical illnesses were often viewed by the church as evidence of a lack of faith, the consequence of sin, or as punishment from God. In all those cases, the best remedy was confession and prayer. Medical advances have changed that thinking in regards to physical health. But not so much for mental health matters. The general public, as well as the Christian public, is woefully unaware of the many brain-imaging and stress hormone studies that show how trauma changes both the brains and bodies of children. They are also unaware of the many effective treatments for PTSD in children. As parents we can advocate for our kids by educating others about advances in mental health.

Truth #2: PTSD in children is not punishment for their sins or yours.

Children do not cause their own PTSD by sinning. And unless parents have neglected or abused their children, their sin does not cause PTSD in children either. But families can easily lose sight of this truth when parenting kids with PTSD. Parents begin blaming themselves or their kids. Blame can snowball into self-guilt for parents and casting guilt on children. We must continually remind ourselves, our spouses, and our kids that childhood PTSD is the result of trauma they did not seek or cause.

To read the rest of this post, visit the Key Ministry blog, Church4EveryChild.

Part 1: Writing About PTSD Was Not on My Bucket List
Part 2: Childhood Trauma by Any Other Name Is Still Traumatic
Part 3: 10 Myths about PTSD in Children
Part 4: What Causes PTSD in Children
Part 5: A Look Inside the Brain’s Response to Childhood Trauma
Part 6: Why the Spotlight Is on PTSD in Children
Part 7: Childhood PTSD Symptoms in Tots, Teens, and In Between
Part 8: Why and How Childhood PTSD Is often Misdiagnosed
Part 9: Effective Treatment of PTSD in Children
Part 10: How to Prevent PTSD in Traumatized Children
Part 11: How Parents Can Advocate Effectively for Traumatized Children
Part 12: 4 Reasons Traumatized Kids Need Mentally Healthy Parents
Part 13: Clinging to Faith While Parenting Children with PTSD

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon.

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4 Reasons Traumatized Kids Need Mentally Healthy Parents

4 Reasons Traumatized Kids Need Mentally Healthy Parents

4 Reasons Traumatized Kids Need Mentally Healthy Parents

Thank you for stopping in to read the twelfth article in this series about PTSD in children. The first ten posts in this series focused exclusively on PTSD in children. However last week’s post was about what parents can do to advocate effectively for traumatized children. This post continues in the same vein by examining why kids with PTSD need mentally healthy parents–a reality I first began to deal with after our son’s PTSD treatment in 2006.

One day, I was sitting in the waiting room of the clinic where our son was being treated for PTSD waiting to take him to lunch. One of the therapists strolled in and stood in front of me.

“Are things going okay?” I asked.

“Very well.” He nodded and held my gaze. “But what about you, Mom? How are you doing with all this?”

The question caught me off guard. Our son had been the one the surgeons, doctors, nurses, and x-ray techs wanted to know about since the day of his birth No one had ever asked about me. Or my husband.

“Me?” I stammered. “I’m fine. You’ve done so much for our son this week. I’ve never been better.”

“Really?” the therapist mused. “That’s interesting.”

Just then, our son came into the waiting room and the conversation ended. In the years since our encounter, I have mulled over that unexpected question many times. The mere asking of it somehow gave me permission to admit I’d experienced trauma as a mom. The more I thought about it, the more my tendency to avoid visiting people in the hospital made sense. I came to understood why my pulse quickened and my stomach knotted for years when my now-stable and responsible son called and said, “Hi, Mom.”

Eventually, through treatment and practice, I eventually learned to confront and process my experiences. As it turns out, recent research proves highlights several reasons why traumatized children need mentally healthy parents. Here are just a few.

Reason #1: Children of mothers with PTSD are at higher risk of developing PTSD. After the 2013 missile attacks in Israel, researchers found that the children of mothers who developed PTSD after the attacks were at much higher risk of developing PTSD than other children.

To read the rest of this post, go to Key Ministry’s blog, Church4EveryChild.

Part 1: Writing About PTSD Was Not on My Bucket List
Part 2: Childhood Trauma by Any Other Name Is Still Traumatic
Part 3: 10 Myths about PTSD in Children
Part 4: What Causes PTSD in Children
Part 5: A Look Inside the Brain’s Response to Childhood Trauma
Part 6: Why the Spotlight Is on PTSD in Children
Part 7: Childhood PTSD Symptoms in Tots, Teens, and In Between
Part 8: Why and How Childhood PTSD Is often Misdiagnosed
Part 9: Effective Treatment of PTSD in Children
Part 10: How to Prevent PTSD in Traumatized Children
Part 11: How Parents Can Advocate Effectively for Traumatized Children
Part 12: 4 Reasons Traumatized Kids Need Mentally Healthy Parents
Part 13: Clinging to Faith While Parenting Children with PTSD

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon.

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How Parents Can Advocate Effectively for Traumatized Children

How Parents Can Advocate Effectively for Traumatized Children

How Parents Can Advocate Effectively for Traumatized Children

This article is the eleventh in a series about PTSD in children. Previously, children have been the focus of each post. In this article and the next, the parents of traumatized children will be front and center. Why? Because children with PTSD can’t advocate for themselves. They need us to be their voice when they are too small and too broken to advocate on their own behalf. This post discusses three skills parents must cultivate to be effective advocates for traumatized kids.

How to Become an Organized Advocate for Traumatized Children

Parenting children with unresolved trauma can be a challenge at home. And because their worlds extend beyond their family circles they can encounter trauma triggers at school, athletic events, church, and in the community that send them into a behavioral tailspin. Therefore, parents must become effective advocates in all those places. To do so they must be organized.

Advocacy generates a mountain of information and paperwork. Here are a few simple ways to make that mountain scalable.

  • Use a spiral or composition notebook to write down questions and log observations about how your child responds to triggers and stressful situations and to track behavior patterns at home, school, and social events. Take the notebook with you to all medical appointments, therapy sessions, and school meetings. With your observations in good order, you will be able to add to any discussion.
  • Use a three-ring binder and file folder system for hard copies of paperwork related to your child’s school career, therapies, and medical interventions.
  • Create and label electronic folders for emails and documents if you prefer computerized records. You can also use Google Docs to create your own forms and integrated calendars and schedules.
  • Use your smartphone to take pictures of hard copy forms or calendars that you use for scheduling and email them to yourself. Then create email folders for storing them.

To read the rest of this post, please visit Key Ministry’s blog, Church4EveryChild.

Part 1: Writing About PTSD Was Not on My Bucket List
Part 2: Childhood Trauma by Any Other Name Is Still Traumatic
Part 3: 10 Myths about PTSD in Children
Part 4: What Causes PTSD in Children
Part 5: A Look Inside the Brain’s Response to Childhood Trauma
Part 6: Why the Spotlight Is on PTSD in Children
Part 7: Childhood PTSD Symptoms in Tots, Teens, and In Between
Part 8: Why and How Childhood PTSD Is often Misdiagnosed
Part 9: Effective Treatment of PTSD in Children
Part 10: How to Prevent PTSD in Traumatized Children
Part 11: How Parents Can Advocate Effectively for Traumatized Children
Part 12: 4 Reasons Traumatized Kids Need Mentally Healthy Parents
Part 13: Clinging to Faith While Parenting Children with PTSD

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

 

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Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon.

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When PTSD in Children Is Misdiagnosed as ADHD

When PTSD in Children Is Misdiagnosed as ADHD

When PTSD in Children Is Misdiagnosed as ADHD

Did you know that post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is often misdiagnosed in kids as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)? Guest blogger and ABA therapist, Ruth Stieff, explains how’s she’s learned to determine the difference between ADHD and PTSD in children in this post.

“You mean it’s not ADHD?” This is a comment that is heard around the disability and social service community everyday. If you have a child that has been diagnosed with ADHD and nothing is working, maybe, you need to look a little further. You may ask, “How do I know if it will take longer with the current treatment plan or is it the wrong diagnosis?” Great question and there are a few red flags to look for when little or no progress is seen.

  • Is the work the therapist is doing with your child making any difference? This assumes that you are pursuing treatment and following through with the therapist’s counsel at home. If you have not sought out therapy for ADHD, that is where to start.
  • The quantity of pharmaceuticals your child takes is rising. A prescription will not solve all the issues. Individual and family therapy is needed. The strategies that aid a person with ADHD or other diagnosis must be learned and practiced.
  • A therapist adds more diagnoses for your child. When I see a child diagnosed with ADHD with autism tendencies, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder or other similar disorders, I begin asking questions. I remember a conversation with parents who had a child who had a long list of diagnosis and was taking large doses of medications, “Do you feel this is really the issue?” Their answer was “No.”

With that child, I began asking questions related to life experiences. I was looking for clues of trauma. PTSD in children is a complex issue. What questions need to be asked?

  1.  Pre birth trauma. This could be physical or emotional. If the child is adopted, you may have little knowledge of this. Was the child exposed to substance abuse in-vitro?
  2.  Birth trauma. Once again, it could be physical or emotional. This would include a life-threatening circumstance in the first hours/days after birth. This includes being away from the mother for tests or in intensive care. Pain associated with this can cause trauma. If the child was taken from the mother and placed in the hands of an orphanage, a foster care home, or the adopting family, there are many traumatic and attachment issues associated with this.
  3.  Trauma in the early years. This could come in many forms. Neglect, abuse, medical procedures, multiple placements with family or in foster care, divorce, death of a significant person in the child’s life.
  4.  Trauma in elementary or later can include any of the above that happen during this time or things unresolved from earlier times.

If your child does not respond to cognitive behavior therapy or anything based on applied behavioral analysis, look at possible trauma or attachment issues. Many attachment and trauma difficulties mirror symptoms of ADHD or high functioning autism. The difference is that the strategies used in these neurological diagnoses don’t usually work if trauma is the underlying problem. Most schools use an approach that rewards good behavior and looks for motivators to do it. This may have a small amount of success but normally is short-lived. Once you have a trauma diagnosis and begin to use more helpful strategies, you will play a new role advocating for trauma based approaches at school.

In this scenario you might say, of course it’s not ADHD. Hopefully, it doesn’t take a long time down this road to figure out that your child has issues different than ADHD! It is a complicated journey but parents know this child better than anyone else so they can often know when the diagnosis is not quite a fit. That’s why there is no advocate like a loving and determined parent!

Your Questions about ADHD and PTSD in Children?

Has this post stirred up questions about your child’s special needs diagnosis? Feel free to leave them, so Ruth can answer them. 

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Ruth Stieff is a wife, mother and owner of One Piece LLC . She is passionate about helping children with learning differences make progress and helping parents normalize family life.

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How to Prevent PTSD in Traumatized Children

How to Prevent PTSD in Traumatized Children

How to Prevent PTSD in Traumatized Children

Welcome to the tenth post in a series about PTSD in children. The previous post in this series summarized several effective therapy methods for children with PTSD. The new treatment methods provide hope that children can be healed of PTSD and learn to manage the vestiges that remain after effective therapy. But wouldn’t it be wonderful if adults took measures to prevent PTSD in children, so treatment would be required less often? This post reviews some of the techniques parents and other adults can use to lower the risk of PTSD developing in our kids after they experience a traumatic event.

Prevent PTSD by Encouraging Resilience

Resilience is the elusive quality attributed those children who experience trauma and are able to overcome it. For decades, child psychiatrists and psychologists have been asking the question that may be buzzing in your brain right now: What makes some kids so resilient? Dr. Bruce Perry and Maia Szalavitz asked that question in their book Born for Love. They profiled a young woman who is the daughter of heroin addicts. Her seven younger siblings have all had run-ins with the law and struggle with addictive behaviors. But this young woman is married, has two children, and holds a good job. She and the authors attribute her resilience to several factors:

  •  First she has an innate, empathetic awareness that allows her to tune into and focus on loving moments.
  • Second the constant state of high alert, or hyperarousal, she developed in childhood while caring for her siblings, has made her aware of the feelings of others so she knows how to avoid or defuse potentially dangerous situations.
  • Third she is intelligent enough to see cause and effect clearly and solve problems creatively.
  • Fourth her intelligence attracted the attention of caring teachers and other people outside the home who supported and encouraged her.

To read the rest of this post, visit the Key Ministry blog, Church4EveryChild.

Part 1: Writing About PTSD Was Not on My Bucket List
Part 2: Childhood Trauma by Any Other Name Is Still Traumatic
Part 3: 10 Myths about PTSD in Children
Part 4: What Causes PTSD in Children
Part 5: A Look Inside the Brain’s Response to Childhood Trauma
Part 6: Why the Spotlight Is on PTSD in Children
Part 7: Childhood PTSD Symptoms in Tots, Teens, and In Between
Part 8: Why and How Childhood PTSD Is often Misdiagnosed
Part 9: Effective Treatment of PTSD in Children
Part 10: How to Prevent PTSD in Traumatized Children
Part 11: How Parents Can Advocate Effectively for Traumatized Children
Part 12: 4 Reasons Traumatized Kids Need Mentally Healthy Parents
Part 13: Clinging to Faith While Parenting Children with PTSD

 

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon.

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Effective Treatment of PTSD in Children

Effective Treatment of PTSD in Children

Effective Treatment of PTSD in Children

Thank you so much for stopping by to read this article, which is the ninth in an ongoing series about PTSD in children. This post reviews several therapies that have proven highly effective in treating children who have experienced significant trauma or have been diagnosed with PTSD. As was mentioned in the third article in this series, one misconception about PTSD in children impacted by trauma is that they are damaged for life. In the past few years the creation of effective treatment methods has made that attitude less prevalent.

Treatment for  PTSD in Very Young Children

Research done between 2000 and 2010 found that very young children who experience significant trauma may not suffer lasting effects if they receive immediate support from a trusted primary caregiver. Effective support contains 3 major elements. First, the primary caregiver must let the child know he or she believes the event was scary.  Cuddling a child and saying, “That was so scary when the air bag popped out!” or “Your leg hurt when the nurse gave you that shot!” offers physical comfort and security and acknowledges the child’s experience. Second, caregivers must be patient after the initial validation. A young child needs reassurance over a long period of time. Caregivers need to allow time for babies and very young children to recover. Finally, caregivers who were traumatized along with their children must manage their own emotions. Doing so may be as simple as talking to a friend about their emotions or going for a walk. Or it may require seeking professional help.

Effective Trauma Treatments for PTSD in Children and Teens

Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT). The trauma-focused branch of cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT) is amassing a body of research record about treating preschool-aged children through adolescents. This therapy is done by a trained clinician who talks to a child about traumatic experiences and monitors the child’s responses to determine the time and pace of therapy. The prevention of future trauma, developing resiliency in kids, and training parents to be agents of change are part of this therapy model. For children who are preverbal or nonverbal, parents are trained in trauma prevention and behavior management. Because this therapy is talk-based, it works best for children who were verbal at the time of the trauma.

To read the rest of this post, visit the Key Ministry blog, Church4EveryChild.

Part 1: Writing About PTSD Was Not on My Bucket List
Part 2: Childhood Trauma by Any Other Name Is Still Traumatic
Part 3: 10 Myths about PTSD in Children
Part 4: What Causes PTSD in Children
Part 5: A Look Inside the Brain’s Response to Childhood Trauma
Part 6: Why the Spotlight Is on PTSD in Children
Part 7: Childhood PTSD Symptoms in Tots, Teens, and In Between
Part 8: Why and How Childhood PTSD Is often Misdiagnosed
Part 9: Effective Treatment of PTSD in Children
Part 10: How to Prevent PTSD in Traumatized Children
Part 11: How Parents Can Advocate Effectively for Traumatized Children
Part 12: 4 Reasons Traumatized Kids Need Mentally Healthy Parents
Part 13: Clinging to Faith While Parenting Children with PTSD

 

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon.

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