PTSD and Nursing Moms

PTSD and Nursing Moms

by | Aug 20, 2014 | Different Dream, In Parents, PTSD

PTSD and Nursing Moms

 Photo Credit: tungphoto at www.freedigitalphotos.net

Hello, Different Dream readers! Welcome to a guest post from my good friends and fellow PTSD advocates, Shelly Beach and Wanda Sanchez. This post about PTSD and nursing mothers first appeared at their blog, PTSD Perspectives. It addresses many issues of importance to the special needs community, so I was delighted when Beach and Sanchez gave permission to repost it here. 

PTSD and Nursing Moms

Most expectant and new mothers envision nursing to be the ultimate bonding experience with their child. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. Sadly, post-traumatic stress disorder can be a contributing factor, and women may not be aware of the cause-and-effect relationship in order to be able to best address their frustrations. I recently spoke to several young mothers who talked candidly about how trauma influenced their ability to bond with their newborn babies. None of these women were prepared for the challenges they faced, and they basically had to figure out on their own that their post-traumatic stress had contributed to their struggles.

PTSD and Nursing Moms: NICU Trauma

One of the mothers I spoke to gave birth vaginally, and her newborn girl experienced medical complications that placed her in the neonatal intensive care unit for nearly two weeks. During this time, both Mom and baby experienced high levels of stress and anxiety, due to the separation, limited bonding time, and painful medical procedures. Because of the anxiety and separation, Mom’s lactation diminished, and her attempts to maintain her milk supply were frustrating.  After taking her little girl home from the hospital after a highly stressful two-week stay, Mom attempted nursing for two more weeks, but her child struggled to latch and preferred a bottle. At four weeks, Mom gave up and was overwhelmed with guilt at her “failure.” Two years later, Baby #2 came along, and Mom struggled with anxiety at the thought of nursing. Her stress made it difficult for her to relax enough for her milk to let down when she attempted to nurse, and after a week, she decided that bottle feeding would be the best choice for Baby.

PTSD and Nursing Moms : Previous Trauma

A second mother I spoke two had experienced multiple sexual assaults as a teenager. In her mid-twenties she married a supportive, loving husband, and several years later she gave birth to their first child. However, “Sue” was guilt-ridden and heartbroken to discover that nursing her child was a trauma trigger. For weeks she struggled to be a “good” mom and breast-feed her child but found that the only way she could successfully nurse her child was to dissociate. A desire to be a “good” mom like other moms drove her to continue nursing for months, even though she felt it was affecting her ability to bond with her baby. When “Sue’s” second child was born, she made the decision to bottle feed. She told me that she has never regretted that choice and wished she ‘d had a better understanding of how PTSD could influence a woman’s nursing experience before she’d given birth to her first child.

PTSD and Nursing Moms: How to Find Help

Twenty-five percent of women experience sexual abuse in their lifetime–many before the birth of their first child. It’s important for women to know how their trauma experiences may influence aspects of their lives so they can make the best choices for their circumstances. If you or someone you know can relate to the challenges of nursing your child because of a prior trauma experience:

  • Talk to a trauma specialists who can offer you suggestions about how to process your experience.
  • Accept the simple truth that breast feeding does not define good mothering.
  • Find other mothers who bottle fed their kids to lean on for support.
  • Release the false guilt.
  • Talk about your situation with someone who will understand and support you.
  • Seek out treatment or support if you’re experiencing depression.

 

More PTSD Perspectives

Did PTSD impact your ability to nurse your babies? How did you deal with the situation? Leave a comment, if you like, in the box below. To learn more about the work Shelly and Wanda do, visit their website, PTSD Perspectives.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Shelly Beach is an award-winning author of eight books, including The Silent Seduction of Self Talk. She has written with a Pulitzer Prize Finalist and New York Times best-selling authors, as well as providing writing and consulting services for a producer of a recently-launched Lifetime television reality series. Shelly is the co-founder of two writers’ conferences and an adjunct professor at Cornerstone University. She is also a sexual abuse survivor who speaks to medical and mental health professionals at conferences, seminars, and in the nation’s prisons. Shelly is also an “expert” consultant for Caring.com, the Internet’s most frequently consulted site on caregiving issues. Shelly can be reached at Shelly@PTSDPerspectives.org or www.ShellyBeachOnline.com.

By Wanda Sanchez 

Wanda Sanchez is the executive producer of one of the nation’s top talk shows in a highly-ranked California market. She has worked with the world’s top political leaders, as well as Hollywood personalities, New York Times best-selling authors, and top-ranked cultural analysts. She has also worked as a television producer and is the founder and president of her own publicity firm, representing authors and speakers. A sexual abuse survivor who has experienced a journey of dramatic healing from post-traumatic stress disorder, Wanda speaks to medical and mental health professionals in conferences, seminars, as well as to women in the nation’s prisons. She can be reached at Wanda@PTSDPerspectives.org.

Author Jolene Philo

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10 Truths Learned about Trauma

10 Truths Learned about Trauma

by | May 2, 2014 | Different Dream, In Parents, PTSD

10 Truths Learned about Trauma

Photo Credit: smarttiw at www.freedigitalphotos.net

Trauma impacts lives.  Whatever time of life a person is traumatized—as an infant, child, teen, or adult—life is never the same. A post at Sojourners by Catherine Woodiwiss explains ten ways trauma can change a life. What she has to say speaks volumes to caregiving parents who are dealing with grief.

10 Truths about Trauma

  1. Trauma permanently changes us. There is no such thing as getting over it. But it’s not wholly negative. Healing from trauma leads to new strength and joy.
  2. Presence is always better than distance. To suffer through trauma alone is unbearable. If someone says they need space, respect their wish. Otherwise be present.
  3. Healing is cyclical, not linear. Recovery takes a long, long time. Expect to cycle through stages of grief often.
  4. To survive trauma a person needs friends who are “firefighters” and “builders.” Surviving trauma requires at least two types of people on a crisis team: friends who can drop everything and jump into the fray and others who are calm and give steady care.
  5. Grieving is social, and so is healing. We are wired for contact. Only through relationship that we can be most fully healed. Seeking out one another requires courage. Start by giving shelter to others.
  6. Do not offer platitudes or comparisons. We offer assurances when we don’t know what else to say. But they often sting as clueless, careless, or just plain false. What we need are friends who sit beside us and let it be terrible.
  7. Allow those suffering to tell their own stories. Give a person struggling with trauma dignity to discover and own it.
  8. Love shows up in unexpected ways. Ultimately every gesture of love, regardless of the sender, becomes a step along the way to healing. It may not look like what was expected, but surprise love will be the sweetest.
  9. Whatever doesn’t kill you …almost kills you. Some days you feel like a quivering, cowardly shell. This is a fight to be won over and over again.
  10. … Doesn’t kill you. You learn resilience to sustain you in other crises. It may make you stronger…or not.

Woodiwiss writes with conviction and beauty. For more of her insights, read the entire post at A New Normal: Ten Things I’ve Learned About Trauma.

How Has Trauma Changed You?

Have you been changed by trauma and the grief that accompanies it? What would you add to Catherine’s list? Share your insights in the comment box.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop-up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon. The first book in her cozy mystery series, See Jane Run!, features people with disabilities and will be released in June of 2022.

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4 Ways to Prevent Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in Children

4 Ways to Prevent Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in Children

by | Apr 2, 2014 | Different Dream, In Children, PTSD

4 Ways to Prevent Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in Children

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in children. That’s a concept many adults want to deny. We don’t want to live in a world where children, much less infants, develop PTSD. The bad news is that they can. But there’s also good news: resources and techniques exist to keep childhood trauma from developing into full-blown PTSD. In a final post of my Friendship Circle series about PTSD in children, some preventative measures were highlighted.

Four Ways to Prevent PTSD in Children

Several therapies are highly effective in preventing the development of PTSD after childhood trauma. Four of the best known are listed below:

  1. Debrief after a traumatic event.
  2. Administer trauma prevention first aid.
  3. Involve a child life specialist.
  4. Keep pre-verbal and non-verbal children grounded.

To learn the details of each of these preventative measures and to find links to resources, read the Friendship Circle post 4 Ways to Prevent Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in Children.

A New PTSD Resource Coming Soon!

In case you missed February’s exciting announcement, here it again. In December, I signed a contract with Familius for a book about PTSD in children. The manuscript is due November 30 of this year with a tentative release date of Spring, 2015.

What are Your Burning PTSD in Children Questions?

I’d love to know what questions about PTSD in children are buzzing around in your mind. What do you need to know to help your child? Leave your questions in the comment box. Thanks!

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop-up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon. The first book in her cozy mystery series, See Jane Run!, features people with disabilities and will be released in June of 2022.

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How to Beat Caregiver Stress Syndrome, Part 2

How to Beat Caregiver Stress Syndrome, Part 2

by | Mar 13, 2014 | Different Dream, Prevention/Treatment, PTSD

How to Beat Caregiver Stress Syndrome, Part 2

Caregiver stress affects even the most dedicated family members caring for loved ones. Yesterday, Dr. Charles Bowers, a retired OB/GYN, defined caregiver stress syndrome and lists its symptoms. Today, in Part 2, he offers suggestions about how to cope with the syndrome and points the way to useful resources.

How to Beat Caregiver Stress Syndrome, Part 2

How to Cope with Caregiver Stress Syndrome

Now that you have a name associated with what you may be experiencing, you may have an instant feeling of relief. That’s a great start! Next, it’s time to manage caregiver stress syndrome so that you can better deal with its symptoms—and hopefully reduce or eradicate them.

The following practice tips and ideas are important to help you get the relief you need and take better care of yourself.

  • Learn to ask for help. Don’t try to do it all yourself. Asking for help lets others know you want their help. It also gives you an opportunity to step away for an hour or two to take care of yourself. Consider hiring outside help, too.
  • Learn to accept the help that is offered. If you’re not ready to ask for help outright, at least accept help when offered AND be grateful for the break. Whether it’s one night a week, one hour a day, or every other week for a night, it’s helpful to get assistance sometimes.
  • Utilize a caregiver notebook. A caregiver notebook, such as the one found here at The Center for Children at Seattle’s Children with Special Needs, can help you become more organized in your caregiving. It can help you keep track of medications, doctor’s appointments, contacts, and more. Being more organized with the seemingly endless medications, doctor’s appointments, and insurance information is helpful in reducing your caregiver stress.
  • Join a support group. It helps to know that others feel the way you do. Others who are filling similar shoes may also share helpful and invaluable tips for dealing with the stress of caregiving.
  • Make time for your spouse, children, siblings, friends, and extended family. Make plans to do something fun with friends or family members at least once per month, if not more frequently. It’s important for your emotional health.
  • Write in a caregiver journal. The American Association of Nurse Anesthetists says that it is another outlet for expressing hopes, sadness, and thanks.
  • Visit your doctor. Your doctor can recommend immunizations and vitamins to help you keep up with the emotional and physical demands of all the roles you’re required to play as a caregiver for a special needs child.
  • Create reasonable expectations. Last, but not least, be willing to be imperfect and simply do the best you can. Accept the fact that you might not do everything perfectly, but you are providing excellent care for your loved one.

Besides implementing the above tips for beating caregiver stress syndrome, be sure to take advantage of those moments you have to renew and re-energize. It is not only important for your own physical and emotional health, but your loved one will indirectly reap the benefits.

How Do You Deal With Stress?

Now that you’ve heard what Dr. Bowers had to stay, it’s your turn. How do you deal with care giver stress syndrome? Leave a comment in the box below.

How to Beat Caregiver Stress Syndrome, Part 1

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Dr. Charles Bowers is a retired OB/GYN with more than three decades of medical experience. He now works as a medical forensics evaluator for Philadelphia-based Ross Feller Casey, LLP.

Author Jolene Philo

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How to Beat Caregiver Stress Syndrome, Part 1

How to Beat Caregiver Stress Syndrome, Part 1

by | Mar 12, 2014 | Different Dream, Prevention/Treatment, PTSD

How to Beat Caregiver Stress Syndrome, Part 1

Caregiver stress is a reality for families caring for loved ones. Dr. Charles Bowers, a retired OB/GYN, wants to equip parents of kids with special needs to recognize stress and cope with it. In Part 1 of his 2-part series, Dr. Bowers defines caregiver stress syndrome and lists its symptoms. Tomorrow he’ll be back with suggestions about how to cope with the syndrome and find resources.

How to Beat Caregiver Stress Syndrome, Part 1

The role of caretaker for a loved one is a role that most people never expect to play in the lives of the people they love—at least not to the degree that is often required of them. Many also don’t realize that the role of a caregiver can put their own health—both physically and emotionally—in harm’s way. Caring for any child involves considerable time, energy, love, and patience, but the demands placed on a parent of a special needs child can impact the physical and emotional health of the caregiving parent.

If you are a caregiver for a special needs child, it’s important to know that you are not alone. Caregiver Action Network reports that 14 percent of family caregivers care for a special needs child, with an estimated 16.8 million caring for special needs children under 18 years old. 55 percent of these caregivers are caring for their own children.

Not surprisingly, many of these caregivers are suffering from a condition increasingly known as “caregiver stress syndrome.” To cope with this condition—or better yet, beat it—it is helpful to know what it is and the common symptoms it’s associated with, in addition to applying some practical tips for curtailing it.

What is Caregiver Stress Syndrome?

Building of a strong bond, closeness, and intimacy with your child are just a few of the many rewards for caring for a special needs child. There are also many stressors which can lead to caregiver stress syndrome.

Caregiver stress syndrome is the aptly-named condition often experienced by parents who are caregivers of a special needs child, such as a child who has Down syndrome, autism, or cerebral palsy for example. Dr. Jean Posner, a Baltimore, MD neuropsychiatrist, describes caregiver stress syndrome as a “Debilitating condition brought on by unrelieved, constant caring for a person with a chronic illness or disability.” For parents of a special needs child, it can mean experiencing extreme exhaustion, guilt, or even resentment, in addition to many other symptoms.

Symptoms of Caregiver Stress Syndrome

Many parents in the role of caregiver of a special needs child don’t even realize that they have a recognizable condition. They chalk it up to simply being super busy or being overly tired. However, caregiver stress syndrome is real.
Common symptoms shared by those who have this condition can be divided into two primary categories: physical and emotional.

Physical Symptoms of Caregiver Stress Syndrome

The physical symptoms, if left unchecked, can have long-term consequences to your physical health and emotional well-being, as well as your ability to provide the level of loving care your special needs child requires.

  • Excessive weight gain or loss
  • Poor diet and fitness
  • Sleeping more or less than usual
  • Inability to concentrate
  • Frequent headaches
  • Other health problems

Emotional Symptoms of Caregiver Stress Syndrome

The emotional or psychological symptoms of caregiver stress syndrome may feel alarming to you. Many people who experience these symptoms are often reluctant to discuss them openly.

  • Guilt
  • Chronic sadness
  • Anger
  • Anxiety
  • Resentment
  • Constantly feeling overwhelmed
  • Constant worry
  • Alcohol or drug abuse
  • Shock
  • Depression

Come Back Tomorrow!

Once again, Dr. Bowers will be back Thursday with suggestions for coping with caregiver stress syndrome and a list of helpful resources.

How to Beat Caregiver Stress Syndrome, Part 2

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Dr. Charles Bowers is a retired OB/GYN with more than three decades of medical experience. He now works as a medical forensics evaluator for Philadelphia-based Ross Feller Casey, LLP.

Author Jolene Philo

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Study Says Raising Kids with Special Needs Creates Parental Stress

Study Says Raising Kids with Special Needs Creates Parental Stress

by | Feb 26, 2014 | Advocacy and Research, Different Dream, PTSD

Study Says Raising Kids with Special Needs Creates Parental Stress

Are you surprised to hear that a new study conducted by Case Western Reserve University concluded that parenting a child with chronic special needs creates parental stress? No, I’m not either. Nor is any parent whose raised a child with chronic medical needs. But it’s gratifying to know that Case Western’s review confirms our experience.

What the Parental Stress Study Did

The study, “Parenting Stress Among Caregivers of Children With Chronic Illness: A Systematic Review” assessed 96 peer-reviewed studies in 12 countries between 1980 and 2012. The studies involved parents of kids with asthma, cancer, cystic fibrosis, diabetes, epilepsy, juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, and/or sickle cell disease. Many of those studies had examined parental stress associated with those specific illnesses, but this was one of the first to integrate everything into one report to provide a broader view.

What the Parental Stress Study Learned

Two of the main findings were that 15% of parents in the United States have chronically ill children with special needs. Researchers also found that the care demands associated with the illnesses caused greater stress than did the severity or length of the child’s illness. The study also noted several causes of stress:

  • Integrating responsibilities of caring for the chronically ill child (appointments, therapies, treatments, school issues) into the regular family routine.
  • Watching a child in pain.
  • Worrying about the child’s vulnerability
  • Explaining health issues to those outside the family

What Can Be Done About Parental Stress

The study found these three tips can help parents relieve their stress:

  • Be open to assistance from friends and family
  • Share special needs parenting responsibilities rather than expect one parent to shoulder them
  • Talk to the doctor about parental stress

Details of the study can be found at Parenting Stress Among Caregivers of Children With Chronic Illness: A Systematic Review

What Do You Do About Stress?

So, that’s what the Case Western experts say. But how about you, the caregiver of a child who lives with chronic illness. How do you relieve your stress? Leave a comment!

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop-up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly with Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon. The first book in her cozy mystery series, See Jane Run!, features people with disabilities and will be released in June of 2022.

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