Fetal alcohol syndrome. Can it possibly be a good and perfect gift from God? Guest blogger Michelle Selent, mother of two adopted daughters with fetal alcohol syndrome, has been wrestling with that question lately. Read on to see what she’s come to understand.

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome: A Good and Perfect Gift?

I have been thinking lately. Thinking about what raising two daughters with fetal alcohol syndrome has given me and my family. I am sure some look at our family and look at what I have laid bare in vulnerable moments, and it may get interpreted as what they have taken away from us. Sure, we have less freedom, challenges, and more responsibilities, but this I believe:

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” (James 1:17)

What does this tell me? It tells me that the daughters the Lord has given me are good and perfect gifts. God doesn’t change, so this is always true. He has not only given me two beautiful daughters, but He has also given me these gifts because of them:

I have more compassion. Compassion for those who are innocently afflicted. Compassion for caregivers and parents and teachers who daily love and nurture those afflicted. It is often times a judged and thankless position to be in. Compassion for isolation and loneliness. Compassion for being tired and discouraged and sometimes feeling hopeless. Compassion for running on empty because so much has been drained from you.

I have more understanding. How many times due to lack of understanding on my part, did I myself in fact judge? Not every screaming child in the grocery line or every problem child in class is due to poor parenting.

I have more reasons to celebrate. Some things come easy to neurotypical children— like potty training, sleep, learning, and behavior. I know firsthand just how much it takes to make strides now. And believe me, it is reason to celebrate.

I have drawn so much closer to my heavenly Father because He is my source. Without my Savior the discouraging times that come would have left me withered and dead. Without Him, my eyes would have been blind to the good and perfect gifts He has laid out before me.

Having more compassion, understanding, reasons to celebrate, and closeness—those are really good gifts, don’t you think? I am sure my God will use His perfect gifts in my life perfectly.

What Good Gifts Have You Received?

Compassion, understanding, reasons to celebrate, and closeness are priceless gifts. What priceless gifts have you received as the parent of your child with special needs? Tell us about them in the comment box.

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