by jphilo | May 18, 2012 | Different Dream, School/Education, Special Needs Parenting
With IEP Annual Review season in full swing, DifferentDream.com guest bloggers are willing and ready to share the benefits of their experience with you. Yesterday, Ellen Stumbo shared 2 things parents can do to prepare for IEP meetings. Today she’s back with 3 more tips you can put into immediate use.
Simple Tips Parents Can Use to Prepare for IEP Annual Review Meetings
Tip #3: Bring Food
Yes, I did just say to bring food. Why? Because food breaks an unspoken barrier. It says, “I want to be friendly, I don’t want to fight and I am thankful you are here.” Bring paper plates or napkins too.
The last few weeks I have seen one of the special education teachers stay for IEP meetings after school almost every day. She has kids at home, and it means she is not making it back to her family until late. Yes, it is part of her job, but she is also a wife and a mom. Bringing some brownies, donuts, cheese and crackers, or other snacks says, “I appreciate the time you have taken to be here for my child.” It speaks volumes when you do something to show appreciation for someone’s time.
Gifts is one of my love languages. If I could fit it in my budget, I would have taken orders from all of them to Starbucks, no kidding! Instead, I brought granola bars and cheese and crackers. Granola bars had chocolate chips in them, we were mostly women, chocolate is known to sometimes brighten a woman’s day. Enough said.
Tip #4: Know the Law
You want to be friendly, but you are your child’s advocate.
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy.
Proverbs 31:8-9
A woman I trust and admire gave me this verse as I asked her questions about the IEP process. She is the mother of an adult child now, and was reminding me that yes, you want to be nice, but you also have a responsibility to be an advocate for your child!
Bring food, be friendly, but when it is time to speak up, you speak up. In order to do that, it is important that you are familiar with the special education laws! Here are some great resources for you:
- Wright’s Law: The Wright’s Law website is dedicated to special education law and the law surrounding IEP’s.
- Wright’s Law: From Emotions to Advocacy: the Special Education Survival Guide. This is one of the most valuable books you will ever have if your child has an IEP. It details and explains the law, your rights, your child’s rights, and what the school can or cannot do. Seriously, get this book! I in no way benefit from you buying this book, but it has been such a valuable resource as I learn to navigate the world of special education.
Tip #5: Take Notes and Ask Questions
During the IEP meeting make sure you are taking notes. Things will be said and comments will be made that you might want to come back to. Jut down where you asked for a goal to be included. Write the comment from the physical therapist that was encouraging. Make sure you take notes of the teacher’s concern about your child’s safety in the playground so you can go home and do some brainstorming as you process the conversations that took place.
Don’t hesitate to ask questions. If you are confused why your child is not getting more time in speech therapy, ask. If you still don’t understand, ask again. Be polite though, don’t point fingers, and make the questions about yourself. For example, you can say, “I am still puzzled though, if we all agree speech is the greatest area of concern, why is my child only getting 40 minutes a week of speech therapy?”
Remember, you are an important and invaluable member of your child’s IEP team. Your know your child best and you are your child’s advocate. Be prepared, be professional, and be ready. And pray! Ask God to help you through the emotions of the IEP, to help you be a good advocate, and to help you build strong relationships with the rest of the team.
What has your IEP experience been like?
Ellen
Leave a Comment
Ellen and I would love to hear about your IEP experiences, so please do leave a comment if you want. And if you have more ideas about how parents can prepare for IEP annual reviews, share them, too. The more the better!
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by jphilo | May 17, 2012 | Different Dream, School/Education, Special Needs Parenting
As was mentioned last week in guest blogger Gillian Marchenko’s post, IEP annual review season is in full swing for parents of kids with special needs identified by the public schools. Gillian shared 5 ways to set a positive tone during an annual review. It’s a hot topic, as proved by the number of times the post was shared, retweeted, and repinned. No wonder I did a happy dance when another guest blogger, Ellen Stumbo, sent a piece about how parents can prepare for annual reviews. Today’s post shares 2 of Ellen’s tips. The other 3 tips will post tomorrow.
Simple Tips Parents Can Use to Prepare for IEP Annual Review Meetings
It is no secret that one of the biggest woes for parents of kids with special needs comes yearly in the form of an IEP (Individualized Education Plan). Often times, parents walk into an IEP meeting as if walking into a battle in which they are outnumbered. Parents vs. School (teachers, therapists, support staff, etc.) and the child’s future is in the hands of the winning party. The end of the school year often marks a time where IEP’s are being drafted for the 2012-13 school year. I want to share with you simple tips that can help you as you prepare for your child’s IEP meeting.
Tip #1: Make a List of Goals
Ask yourself: What do I hope my child will accomplish in the coming school year? Break the accomplishments down into the different areas where your child will be receiving extra support, therapy, or special education modifications.
Remember: IEP goals are for school settings only. What does your child need in order to excel in an academic setting? I would love for Nichole to learn to ride a tricycle, and while our school has great therapists that will work on that, riding a tricycle will not necessary for academic achievement. Building leg strength and coordination on the other hand is important as children participate in Physical Education; riding a tricycle might just be a great way to get her to achieve those goals. Here are some examples I came up with before the IEP:
Speech: Nichole will be able to spontaneously use 3 word sentences.
Speech: Nichole will respond to “wh” questions: what, where, which, who
Fine motor: Nichole will independently cut a 6 inch wide piece of paper using adaptive scissors.
Fine motor: Nichole will trace her name with capital letters.
Gross motor: Nichole will climb safely on the playground equipment.
Gross motor: Nichole will demonstrate proper gait when running.
Social/emotional: Nichole will engage in dramatic play with a peer.
Social/ emotional: Nichole will take turns.
Academic: Nichole will rote count to 10 consistently.
Academic: Nichole will identify “on” “under” “besides” consistently.
The more specific you can be with your goals, the better!
Tip #2: Ask for a Copy of the IEP Draft
A draft IEP is prepared before each child’s IEP meeting, and you can request a copy ahead of time. One of the reasons you might want the copy before hand is to deal with the emotional aspecst of an IEP on your own, at home. I know how overwhelming it can be to read tests results and have your child’s delays “packaged” together in a document.
As we do life with our kids day to day, we do not deal with all of their delays all at once. It really doesn’t matter that your child is not able to identify letters when they have finally mastered using a fork at the dinner table and you are over the moon with this new accomplishment. But with an IEP, every single area where your child struggles is documented and this can be difficult. It is okay to cry. Deal with those emotions, so that when you are meeting with the team, you can push those aside and remember that your child does have great potential. The goal of the IEP meeting is to make sure there is a plan set in motion so that your child’s potential is achieved, so keep that in mind.
The IEP will have a list of goals from the teachers, therapists, and other support staff that might work with your kid. Remember the list of goals you came up with for your child? This is where you get to compare the goals. Were some of them the same? Are some of them confusing to you? Is there anything you think is important and should be added? Make sure to bring a list of the goals you want to see added, as well as questions you have concerning the “why” or “how” of certain goals listed on the IEP.
Remember, parents are team members in the IEP meeting. Do your part and be prepared!
How Do You Prepare for IEP Annual Reviews?
Do you have preparation tips for parents? Leave a comment to share your best tips. Your experience can be of great benefit to others. And come back tomorrow when Ellen will share 3 more tips to help you be a well-prepared advocate for your child at IEP Annual Review meetings.
Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.
by jphilo | Aug 24, 2011 | Different Dream, School/Education, Special Needs Parenting
Yesterday, you met Amy Dunaway. She’s a mom who’s become an expert in the area of special needs homeschooling. In the previous post, she introduced her family and told about how her blog www.onajoyfuljourney.com came about. In Part 2 of our interview, she encourages parents to persevere as they raise their kids with special needs. Read on!
What advice do you have for families just beginning their special needs parenting and special needs homeschooling journeys?
Embrace the journey! What might seem disappointing or even tragic brings many blessings and a deeper knowledge of the love and saving grace our Lord and Savior. It has been said that God will never give you more than you can handle. My journey has shown me that He does – only to increase my dependence on Him and my capacity to know and reflect His love.
What is the number one lesson you’ve learned as a parent?
His grace is sufficient. How comforting that is when dealing with teenage angst, a child with special needs or grieving the loss of a child! I’ve been many places on my parenting journey. Places where friends and family withdrew from us because of their own weaknesses. The Lord is always there with His gentle embrace, never abandoning His children.
What else would you like readers to know?
There is pain and suffering on this earthly journey. No one escapes it. I don’t want to minimize the pain and suffering along the way. There are tears to be cried and grief to be resolved. It feels messy and ugly…and filled with hard work. I have found that if I look at the trials I have faced as holy ground, sometimes so weak that I could only be carried through the day by His grace and love; His light would continue to reach me. Cling to hope and hope never dies.
Let others walk alongside you on your journey. Many will want to be supportive and we must guide them in their role. Many will not know what to do or say so they may not do or say anything. Teach them how to support and love your family and forgive them when they fail by showing them the same grace that blankets our own lives.
Your Turn Now
Are you feeling encouraged? Did you learn something from Amy’s journey? What have you learned from your journey? Now’s your chance to share lessons you’ve learned as a parent. I can’t wait to hear from you.
Part One
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by jphilo | Aug 22, 2011 | Different Dream, School/Education, Special Needs Parenting
School is about to start all over the country. For some kids with special needs it can be a hard transition, one parents can make easier by following a few simple steps.
Here are a few favorites I used as a parent and suggested to parents when kids were transitioning back to school:
Tip #1: Add Routine to the Day
Start adjusting your child’s bed time and wake up time to the upcoming school schedule. Do the same with meal times, chore times, and any other routines that will be part of the school year.
Tip #2: Acquaint your Child with the School
Kids going to a new school should visit ahead of time, tour the building, and try out the play equipment. Arrange a time for your child to meet teachers visit the new school and walk through the daily schedule.
Tip #3: Sharpen Skills
Be proactive about subjects or situations that will be difficult for your child. Make a game to practice math facts, start reading together more often, role play interactions, or create social stories ahead of time. (An online search for “social stories” will yield a host of free ones to download or print.)
Share Your Transitioning Back to School Tips
What are your favorite transitioning back to school tips? Share the ones that make life easier at your house in the comment section. I’d love to hear them.
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by jphilo | Sep 26, 2009 | Different Dream, How-Tos, Special Needs Parenting
Life as a parent is wearing. Life as the parent of of a special needs child is especially wearing. The specter of life as a perpetual care give and decision-maker can be overwhelming. But the parents I interviewed for A Different Dream for My Child lived joyfully despite their circumstances. Many parents of special needs students I worked during my teaching career. Over the next three days, I’ll share nine commonalities I observed in them. Here are the first three.
#1 Triumphant parents view their children as a gift.
Peggy described her early attitude toward her severely disabled daughter. When Lacey was young, many people said, “Oh, it myst be so hard for you.” As a result Peggy began to see Lacey as a burden. But Psalm 127:3 helped her. Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift? The fruit of the womb his generous legacy? The verse said all children are a gift, not just the whole children, the pretty children, the easy children. Peggy began to view Lacey as a gift and treat her as a gift. In doing so, she found joy.
#2 Triumphant parents cultivate a victor, not victim mentality in their kids.
To do so they treat kids as victors over their circumstances rather than as victims of them. They expect their kids to do as much as possible for themselves. And they treat them as kids, not as sick kids. Kids are smart enough to milk adults for special treatment to make the here and now easier. But they’re not smart enough to see the future harm inherent in that special treatment – the skills they aren’t learning and the experiences they aren’t having. Triumphant parents are smarter than their kids. They look ahead and prepare children for their future, instead of allowing them to stagnate in the present.
#3 Triumphant parents educate themselves and others about their child’s condition.
They read about their child’s disease, treatment, and management. They ask questions of experts. They compare knowledge with other parents. Once they’ve learned all they can, they educate the people around their kids. First, as much as their children are able, they teach them how to deal with the condition. Second, they teach family members – siblings and extended family – about what to expect and how to treat the child. Third, they tell teachers, classmates and other school personnel about it. If classmates understand a special needs child’s abilities and limitations and learn how to how to talk to them, they are more willing to include them in school activities.
One word of advice. Tackle only one of these suggestions at a time. Once it’s firmly in place choose another. Triumphant living is best accomplished one step at a time!
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