How I Planted a Garden of Joy

How I Planted a Garden of Joy

How I Planted a Garden of Joy

Today guest blogger Heather Johnson relates how she and a terminally ill friend celebrated joy through the simple act of gardening.

How I Planted a Garden of Joy

I planted a garden last week. Not just any garden. Not a garden for me. But it ended up being for me in a way. Maybe for you too?

I have this friend around my age. Except for an uncooperative gall bladder demanding removal right before Christmas, she’d been healthy and vibrant. Once the scalpel opened her, the shock began. Her surgeon discovered a very aggressive stage-four cancer.

I’ve prayed. But I’ve wanted to do something more, something tangible to bless her. Because the “D” word has taken up residence in my mind—that five-letter word we don’t even want to whisper lest it extinguish the last flicker of hope we have left.

The question nagged me.

How do you show someone you care, that you really care, when such devastating news is delivered and they’re so sick that survival becomes the greatest goal of every day?

My answer came quickly.

Be there.

So that’s what I did.

Last week, we met at her front door. We hugged for the first time since her diagnosis. Chemo has reduced her body to a bag of bones. Her hair is gone, her eyebrows drawn on.

“How can I help you right now?” I asked as we walked past the dining room, clean laundry beckoning hands to fold. She needed to eat, she said. So as I tended to intimate clothes like underwear and pajamas, we talked about her illness—her chemo, her physical pain, her fear, her faith, her unknown, and her known.

We both know God, and we both know God is good no matter what. Still, there’s anxiety and sadness standing right beside determination and hope. Because God doesn’t always heal. Not in the ways or in the time we always want. A peace settled upon us, I believe, as we talked openly, honestly, without fear of what the other might think or feel.

After finishing the folding, she asked for something surprising.

“Would you clean out my garden? You’re so good at gardening, and I’d really like to look out and see some flowers.”

Of all I thought I could do, would do, wanted to do, cleaning out and planting a garden hadn’t even crossed my mind. Why, I don’t know.

Gardening is a special gift I’ve given to people for years, sharing of fresh cut flowers in clean canning jars with a ribbon. I had only thought of cooking or cleaning or just sitting and listening to my friend. But to do something so easy and enjoyable? To just be my best me? How in the world could that bless?

“Of course! I’d love to help you with your garden!”

She took me to the garage, showed me the tools, and led me to her garden—one of the most overgrown I’d ever seen. She asked me to save the perennials if possible and went inside to rest.

I went to work.

The moment I plunged the spade into the earth and examined more closely, the diagnosis became grim. The bed had become completely overrun with quack grass—that invasive, intrusive, aggressive killer of all things good that spreads by underground runners. After two hours of digging and excavating, I delivered the bad news. Her bed was too far gone. I couldn’t save her perennials.

But there was good news! I could bring her garden back to life!

I explained the three phases, already underway:

  • excavate the invasive grass & roots
  • bring in topsoil, peat moss, and composted horse manure from our farm
  • plant all new perennials

I told her I would share some of my Autumn Joy sedum, black-eyed Susan, purple coneflower, yellow daylilies. She liked the idea. But I had a grander plan—a plan I didn’t want to tell her about because I wanted her to wake up one day, look out, and see a garden beyond her wildest dreams.

My mom always told me, “Flowers should be given to the living, not to the dead.”

I took Mom’s motto as enthusiastic support for a garden center shopping spree. I picked out perennials and annuals that would give the most color quickly. One never knows how many tomorrows we have.

My husband, son, and I brought in the soil, the composted manure, the peat moss. We planted the whole garden while she was gone to an afternoon wedding and evening reception with her husband. I finished off her new garden with a towering obelisk and a brilliant red climbing mandevilla right in the center. (Oh, and I couldn’t pass up the shepherd’s hook with a new wren house! Because even the birds need love.)

Next morning a grateful, joyous text came early. She thought a fairy gardener had visited during the night.

The garden is now full of vibrant life, blessing one who may soon lose hers, overrun as she is with her own inner spread. Will she see the Autumn Joy bloom in September?

God only knows.

But whether she sees the blooms from here or from heaven, there will be joy. Always, there is joy! So catch it while we can! And like every flower with life-giving seed, we must scatter joy generously and watch it grow.

There’s an awful lot of loss in this life. Still, there’s always the hope of gain.

I’m thankful my friend asked for what I had never imagined giving. All because I showed up and stepped into her invitation to be my best self in a garden that needed tending.

You can do the same. You can start a new “garden” of life today. Plant yourself right where you’ll thrive and bloom best and spread your seeds of joy to another. This is enough. More than enough.

For all.
For God.
For you.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

By

Heather MacLaren Johnson lives near Wisconsin’s Lake Michigan shore with her husband of 25 years, 3 horses, 2 dogs, 2 barn cats, and a fish. She earned her B.S. in Education and her doctorate in Clinical Psychology before adopting 3 amazing kids from Russia, all now in their 20’s, all with life-long challenges stemming from prenatal exposure to alcohol (FASD). She is completing a memoir about her mother/daughter journey through hidden disabilities and mental illness.

Heather’s essay about learning to ride horses at age 44 is included in Leslie Leyland Field’s The Wonder Years: 40 Women Over 40 on Aging, Faith, Beauty, and Strength(Kregel Publications). She has published devotional pieces for The Seed Company (Wycliffe Bible Translators Affiliate) You can learn more about Heather at her website www.truelifewithgod.com.

Author Jolene Philo

Archives

Categories

Subscribe for Updates from Jolene

Related Posts

The Puzzle of Parenting a Child with Special Needs

The Puzzle of Parenting a Child with Special Needs

The Puzzle of Parenting a Child with Special Needs

The puzzle of parenting a child with special needs is something we all grapple with. Guest blogger Stephanie Ballard is here with a poem that explains where she found the missing piece of her puzzle and the peace it brings to her. Maybe what she wrote will help you find the piece and the peace you’ve been searching for, too.

The Puzzle

Today I felt a little sad
about the things we face;
Today I guess it slipped my mind
in all things there is grace.
The pieces of my life don’t seem
to fit the way they should.
My Guide to Life went missing.

(I know that can’t be good.)

And if I had a pickup truck,
then it would not be long
before I turned my life’s story
into a country song.
Tired…wasted…empty–
convictions seem diluted.
Life is a complex puzzle.
No instructions included.

I just collect the pieces
while knowing His plan is concealed,
and have the faith that someday
all things will be revealed.
When the storm clouds head our way,
and I am left spinning and guessing;
life’s ordinary moments
become my own encrypted blessing.

Sometimes I lose momentum.
Sometimes I fall behind.
My attitude takes two steps back,
and I fear I’ll lose my mind.
I wonder, can I do this?
I wonder, am I strong?
I thought I was so capable,
But what if I was wrong?

The puzzle lays before me
all scattered where I sit.
I pray God gives me wisdom
to make the pieces fit.
What if life’s most precious gifts
don’t fit with sheer perfection?
What if we must prepare the way
for such an intersection?

I look at all the puzzle pieces
scattered in my hand,
and whisper ever silently,
Please help me understand.
The image comes together,
the picture grows more clear.
It’s only through adversity
that we can face our fear.

And when each piece has found it’s place,
I’ll sigh in sweet reflection.
Life’s purpose can be clearly seen
in silent imperfection.

So I will face this day with hope,
not give into defeat.
I’ll trust this puzzle called our life
will someday be complete.

Does Stephanie’s poem resonate in your heart? Leave  a comment for her in the box below if you like.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

By

Stephanie Ballard is the mother of two sons, her youngest son, Braeden, was born with Kabuki Syndrome and congenital heart defects. Her oldest son, Colin is in the military. She enjoys writing poetry and life lessons about her journey in life.

Author Jolene Philo

Archives

Categories

Subscribe for Updates from Jolene

Related Posts

First Pain then Strength

First Pain then Strength

First Pain then Strength

First pain then strength. That’s become the motto of guest blogger Kimberly Drew as a therapist helps her daughter restore strength to her legs. Not unlike how the book of Isaiah describes the restoration of his people and of our weak and feeble hearts.  

Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way…
Isaiah 35:3

A very expensive delivery came today.  After 7 months of waiting, our daughter Ellie finally received her new therapeutic equipment. The price tag before insurance was almost $8,000 for two pieces of equipment. Pretty steep price tag if you ask me.

As we were fitting Ellie into her new prone stander, her physical therapist explained the importance of getting her knees to be supported properly. Her body is not used to bearing her own weight. Her knees give way. This equipment will hopefully strengthen and stretch her legs and prepare her body to transition to a walker. There is a lot of pain in stretching those muscles that needs to happen before then.

First pain then strength.

In Isaiah 34, the Lord talking about His judgement against the nations. It’s kind of dark stuff, filled with the pain described in in verse 4.

All the stars in the sky will be dissolved
and the heavens rolled up like a scroll;
all the starry host will fall
like withered leaves from the vine,
like shriveled figs from the fig tree.

However, Isaiah 35 is a beautiful picture of restoration titled “Joy of the Redeemed.” I get chills when I read verses 4-6.

Say to those with fearful hearts,
“Be strong, do not fear;
your God will come,
he will come with vengeance;
with divine retribution
he will come to save you.
Then will the eyes of the blind be opened
and the ears of the deaf unstopped.
Then will the lame leap like a deer,
and the mute tongue shout for joy.
Water will gush forth in the wilderness
and streams in the desert.”

If you have a disabled child, as I do, these verses are a balm. Jesus spent a lot of his earthly ministry healing the disabled. He restored their bodies completely. The deaf heard, the blind saw, the leper’s skin transformed right before his eyes, the paralyzed and lame walked away. Amazing. But all the time, the message of Jesus was not about physical healing. He used these miracles to show himself as the son of God and to point to the need for spiritual healing.

Apart from holy judgement, there is no redemption story. 

My daughter’s feeble hands and weak knees are a reminder of the greater story of the world’s desperate need for a Savior. Our culture that desperately wants God’s grace and mercy and yet we reject his holiness. God’s judgement is fair. He is holy, and we will never be good enough.

So in comes Jesus.

A radical, kingdom of God-preaching, table-turning, passionate God-man who came to shine a light on sin. He was holiness, judgement, and he was also forgiveness. First judgement, then redemption. This redemption came with a steep price tag. Christ died to pay the price for our sin. Redemption comes at a cost. First Isaiah 34, then Isaiah 35.

First the pain of acknowledging my sin, then the strength to live for Christ.

But only the redeemed will walk there,
 and those the Lord has rescued will return.
They will enter Zion with singing;
 everlasting joy will crown their heads.
Gladness and joy will overtake them,
 and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

First pain then strength.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

By

Kimberly grew up and went to college in the small town of Upland, IN. She graduated from Taylor University with a degree in Elementary Education in 2002. While at TU, she married her college sweetheart and so began their adventure! Ryan and Kimberly have four amazing kids on earth (Abigail, Jayden, Ellie, and Cooper), and a baby boy waiting for them in heaven. Their daughter Abigail (Abbey) has multiple disabilities including cerebral palsy, a seizure disorder, hearing loss, microcephaly, and oral dysphagia. She is the inspiration behind Kimberly’s  desire to write. In addition to being a stay at home mom, Kimberly has been serving alongside her husband in full time youth ministry for almost fourteen years. She enjoys working with the senior high girls, scrapbooking, reading, and music. You can visit Kimberly at her website, Promises and Perspective.

Author Jolene Philo

Archives

Categories

Subscribe for Updates from Jolene

Related Posts

Why I Won’t Be Afraid of the Dark

Why I Won’t Be Afraid of the Dark

Why I Won’t Be Afraid of the Dark

“Are you guys up there?” our almost three-year-old grandson called from the bottom of the basement stairs.

“I’m in the living room,” I replied from where I was doing my morning devotions.

“Is the baby gate open?” he hollered.

“Yes,” I hollered back.

He lowered his voice and gave himself a pep talk. “I can crawl up the stairs instead of holding the handrail. And I won’t be afraid of the dark.”

I heard him scramble up the steps, and a few seconds later, he walked through the door. “I’m here, Grammy,” he announced and climbed into my lap for a hug. “I’m here!”

Before I could ask if his parents had given him permission to visit, his father came through the door. Obviously, his daddy had known where he was going and had been with him in the whole time. We snuggled and talked about his day before he and his daddy went back down to their apartment.

After they left, I thought about my grandson’s slow conquering of his fear of the dark. My mind wandered to times when I couldn’t see a way through the darkness that infiltrated my workplace and touched my family through illness, death, and unexpected life changes in the past. I thought of my mother and my dear uncle and aunt who are in failing health. When they die, the people who walked me through childhood, who followed close behind as I braved the dark will be gone.

To read the rest of this post, visit the blog for parents of kids with special needs at the Key Ministry website.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

By

Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

Author Jolene Philo

Archives

Categories

Subscribe for Updates from Jolene

Related Posts

Why Diane Dokko Kim Wrote Unbroken Faith

Why Diane Dokko Kim Wrote Unbroken Faith

Why Diane Dokko Kim Wrote Unbroken Faith

Different Dream welcomes guest blogger, Diane Dokko Kim, for the second in her three-part series. Today, Diane talks about about her family, and the encouragement found in her new book, Unbroken Faith: Spiritual Recovery for the Special Needs Parent.

Would you tell Different Dream readers a little bit about yourself and your family?

My husband Eddie and I have been married since 1999. We’ve served together in local church ministry for over 25 years, while working in tech in Silicon Valley. Our entry into the world of disability began in 2004, after our family returned from serving abroad on missions. At the time, our 18-month-old son, Jeremy, wasn’t talking. We thought he might be confused over all the languages he’d heard, so we had him checked out for a speech delay. Several months –and evaluations—later, we were devastated when he was diagnosed with autism instead. Since then, we’ve added additional diagnoses –and another son ☺ – to the family. God has also redeemed that initial wounding, and repurposed it into a desire to comfort other struggling families, with the comfort we received from Christ.

How would you summarize Unbroken Faith?

Unbroken Faith is the book I wish had been available during our season of grief, immediately post-diagnosis. I was destroyed. My child was cognitively disabled, and I found myself spiritually crippled. I struggled for years: How did God let this happen? Why us? Was He going to fix this? How was the Bible was relevant? How dare God claim He understands everything we go through? How could I trust Him again? Unbroken Faith details how Word of God settled those core questions for me. The very thing I thought would destroy my faith, God used to draw me closer to Him, and to understanding His heart in a deeper way.

As the parent of a child with special needs, what’s your number one piece of advice for other parents raising kids with disabilities and special needs?

Give yourself permission and time to grieve. It’s okay – necessary, actually—to grieve the loss of expectations for our children’s futures and for our family. In Psalms, God devotes a significant amount of “real estate” to validate human grief, angst and doubt. Our grief matters to God because if we don’t grieve, we can’t heal properly. If we can’t heal, we’ll remain stuck in bitterness and resentment, unable to move forward in hope or anticipation of the new blessings – the different dreams – God desires to give.

What do you want readers to take away from Unbroken Faith? 

We are not alone! God understands how we feel, because He grieved the loss of expectations for His children, too. Despite preparing perfection for them in the Garden of Eden, His children didn’t turn out as planned, and His heart was filled with pain. God gets us in a way no one else can. And He is not done yet! God is a redeemer. What the enemy intended for harm, God can redeem and repurpose into a blessing. I pray that readers would come away with a deeper understanding of God’s heart. He suffers with us, and for us. He has also has plans and purposes for us that are immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine.

I also hope and pray that readers will see how the Bible has everything to do with the unique challenges we face as families living with disability. The Word of God is timeless and powerfully relevant to the gritty realities of special-needs parenting. The Bible has power to transform, heal, and bind up that which has been broken. God will restore and heal bodies, either in this lifetime of the next. But He can heal our hearts and restore our hope… now.

Part 1
Part 3

Diane Dokko Kim

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

By

Diane Dokko Kim is the mother of a child with multiple disabilities including autism and ADHD. Since 2008, she has served as a special needs ministry consultant, partnering with Joni and Friends as a national speaker, trainer and ministry ambassador. Author of Unbroken Faith: Spiritual Recovery for the Special Needs Parent (Worthy, April 2018), her work has been featured in Orange’s Parent Cue, Parenting Magazine, Dandelion Magazine, and Not Alone. Diane’s passion is to encourage weary parents and empower them to experience the timeless relevance of God’s Word applied to the gritty realities of special needs family life. She and her husband, Eddie, live in the heart of Silicon Valley with their two sons. Connect with her on Facebook or www.dianedokkokim.com where she blogs on being wrecked, redeemed and repurposed.

Author Jolene Philo

Archives

Categories

Subscribe for Updates from Jolene

Related Posts

4 Special Needs Parenting Truths

4 Special Needs Parenting Truths

4 Special Needs Parenting Truths

Our newest grandchild arrived at the end of January. She’s 8 1/2 pounds and 20 1/2 inches of pure snuggle sprinkled with dark, curly hair. Because her parents and brother live in the apartment below us, we see and hold her almost every day. Her life thus far has been free of special needs or disabilities, other than tummy distress and a nasty diaper rash after her mommy ingests soy.

Even so, her tiny presence continually brings to mind 4 truths I wish someone had spoken into the whirlwind of our son’s special needs diagnosis in the hours after his birth.

  1. Parents must embrace the now. After our son was born, I traded the joy of his now for worries about his future. Instead of reveling in the opportunities we had to cuddle him, I resented the times we couldn’t hold him close. Instead of drinking in his presence, I only thought of how empty life would be if he died. I forgot that the life God had given him, though its early days weren’t what we expected, was still a valuable and precious life. If you are a new parent, I urge you to embrace the now that is your child’s life. Live every second, minute, hour, and day your child is with you to the fullest, and leave the future to the future.

To read the rest of this post visit Key Ministry’s  Special Needs Parenting blog.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

By

Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

Author Jolene Philo

Archives

Categories

Subscribe for Updates from Jolene

Related Posts