Time Management Tips from Special Needs Moms, Pt. 1

Time Management Tips from Special Needs Moms, Pt. 1

Time Management Tips from Special Needs Moms, Pt. 1

Time management for parents of kids with special needs is the subject of this two- part DifferentDream.com series. Today, guest blogger Kimberly Drew shares time management tips that make it easier to parent her family, including Abbey who has multiple disabilities including cerebral palsy, a seizure disorder, hearing loss, microcephaly, and oral dysphagia.

Time Management Tip #1: Double Up Diapers

When we are going to be out of the house where I can’t easily change Abbey’s diaper, or if we are in the car for a long time, I double the diaper up with a pull-up.  That way, when the inside diaper needs to be changed, I can just take it off and then use the pull up.  It saves time and stress when we are somewhere that makes it more difficult to discreetly change her.

Time Management Tip #2: Avoid Test Drama

Abbey gets blood work and  EEGs regularly.  Once in the office, the technician told me how much easier it is to do the EEG on boys, or if girls have their hair in corn-rows.  It occurred to me that I could take the time to carefully section her hair into tiny pony-tails to eliminate some of the stress of getting the probes to stick to her head. Now that she’s older and won’t sleep through the test, I bring in a portable DVD player for her to watch a movie. Also, for blood work I always make sure that she’s dressed in short sleeves.  If it’s cold, layer up so that you can un-zip the outer layer and get to the veins easily.

Time Management Tip #3: Keep a Phone Call List Handy

I keep a list of phone calls that I need to make in my purse.  If I can, I plan to arrive at appointments or school for pick up just a few minutes early. When everyone’s strapped into a car-seat…no one is pulling on your pant leg.

Time Management Tip #4: Create Emergency Contact List

I keep a pre-written consent form for babysitters and caregivers on my computer. It lists her medical conditions, medications, all of her specialists, her date of birth, social security number, and our insurance information. If we’re going to leave our daughter with someone else, I print it out and sign it.

Time Management Tip #5: Plan Ahead Prescriptions

If you have established a good report with your child’s primary care physician, ask for scripts ahead of time for things you know your child will need. It saves you a phone call, a trip to the doctor, and the stress of waiting for refills until the last minute.

Your Tips?

Maybe Kim’s time management tips brought some of your tips to mind. If so, leave a comment so we can improve how we use our time. And come back tomorrow when guest blogger Rachel Cordeiro will be here with more time management suggestions.

Time Management Tips from Special Needs Moms, Part Two

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Photo Credit: www.freedigitalphotos.net

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Kimberly grew up and went to college in the small town of Upland, IN. She graduated from Taylor University with a degree in Elementary Education in 2002. While at TU, she married her college sweetheart and so began their adventure! Ryan and Kimberly have four amazing kids on earth (Abigail, Jayden, Ellie, and Cooper), and a baby boy waiting for them in heaven. Their daughter Abigail (Abbey) has multiple disabilities including cerebral palsy, a seizure disorder, hearing loss, microcephaly, and oral dysphagia. She is the inspiration behind Kimberly’s desire to write. In addition to being a stay-at-home mom, Kimberly has been serving alongside her husband in full time youth ministry for almost fourteen years. She enjoys working with the senior high girls, scrapbooking, reading, and music. You can visit Kimberly at her website, Promises and Perspective.

Author Jolene Philo

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Tried and True Time Management Tips, Part 2

Tried and True Time Management Tips, Part 2

Tried and True Time Management Tips, Part 2

Time management and parenting kids with special needs is the topic of guest blogger Amy Stout’s two-part series about the time management wisdom she’s gained over the past year. Yesterday in Part One, she shared three ways to adjust her attitude. Today, in Part Two, she explains how to apply some corporate world knowledge to parenting kids with special needs.

Tried and True Time Management Tips, Part 2

I have been out of the corporate business world for about seven years now, but when I was a work-outside-the-home woman, I was neck deep in corporate stuff. One thing that I will ever be grateful for from my time in the corporate world is the year my employer sent every person in my department to Franklin Covey Time Management training. I LOVED it!!  Out of all the trainings I had the privilege of attending in the 10 years at that company, this was by far the most useful and beneficial to not only my work life, but also to my personal life.

These are a few of the things that really stood out to me that I was able to implement in my own life to help me determine what my TRUE role was in all of those relationships.

Focus on the Big Rocks

Basically this was an exercise designed to communicate to us that we need to prioritize what the most important things are. In our lives, we all have big rocks, and we all have sandBig rocks are the things that HAVE to happen (the things that REALLY matter). Sand represents all the things that need to be done but that are a little more flexible as to when or how often they are done.

Most people do the sand tasks first. They are small, usually don’t take much time, but after you do several of them all together, you realize that once they are done there isn’t much time or energy left for the things that really matter. However if you do the big rocks FIRST, you find that there are times in-between where you can fill in with the sand projects and everything tends to get done.

These are GREAT visual demonstrations of focusing on the big rocks:

Short Clip
Longer Clip

Begin with the End in Mind

My particular trainer had us make a list of things we wanted to be remembered for should we pass away. This was very insightful to me and helped me pinpoint what should be priorities for me in my life. Once I knew what it was that I wanted to accomplish or value in my life, I was able to build goals and take steps to achieve them. This helped me create a personal mission which in turn helped me focus in how my time should be utilized.

Important vs. Urgent

Defining what of our daily tasks are important vs. urgent helps us to assign a timeline by which they should be completed. This also aids in prioritization.

A Contradiction?

Much of what I wrote above centers on what is best for each individual and I have to admit that, at face value, it seems contradictory to biblical principles of being selfless. The Bible does teach that we are to put others ahead of ourselves, but it never says we are to completely forget about ourselves and our well-being. In fact, God specifically set aside a day of rest because He knew we would need it. He began with the End in Mind… we just need to follow his example.

If we take care of ourselves and utilize our time wisely, we are more refreshed, have a better testimony, and are more useable and better equipped to serve others in a more impactful way. It will be a complement to our personal well-being rather than being a stumbling block to God’s purpose and plans for our life.

Slow Down

Take a deep breath and put a few things down on paper.  Most of us don’t step back and analyze how things are really going. Take a good look at your life and ask Dr Phil’s famous question, “How’s it workin’ for you?”

Analyze what is holding you back or bringing you down. What are areas that you are not being efficient in? What things are making you unhappy? What people are less than encouraging? What things need to be organized? Can you make any scheduling changes? Could you ask for more help and support? What relationships do you need to work on? How can you improve your health and fitness?

Then take ACTIVE Steps to begin to make some positive changes. Don’t just think about it. DO something and track your progress. Ask God for guidance and for help.

These are all things that I will be doing, and I will be your cheerleader here from Iowa!! Don’t live a stagnant life! There is so much of life to be enjoyed. Make the CHOICE to make a difference for yourself and for those you love.

What Are Your Big Rocks?

Has Amy made you identify the big rocks and the sand in your life? Leave a comment about how you hope to implement her advice.

Tried and True Time Management Tips, Part One

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photo credit: stock.xchng

 

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Amy Stout is a wife, mother, and free-lance writer. You can visit her website at His Treasured Princess.

Author Jolene Philo

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Tried and True Time Management Tips, Part 1

Tried and True Time Management Tips, Part 1

Tried and True Time Management Tips, Part 1

Time management can be a struggle for parents of kids with special needs. Today, guest blogger Amy Stout begins a two-part series about the time management wisdom she’s gained over the past year. In Part One, she shares three ways to adjust her attitude. Tomorrow, in Part Two, she’ll explain how to apply some corporate world knowledge to parenting kids with special needs.

Tried and True Time Management Tips, Part 1

I recently complained to a support group that I coordinate that I never have enough time.

Even when I am at my most efficient, time seems to run short. Part of this is because I spend an insane amount of time being my six-year-old daughter’s personal administrative assistant.  As you are well aware, there is so much paperwork, reporting, and scheduling involved in caring for a child who experiences special needs. I know I am preaching to the choir. You all are in the trenches with us laboring for your loved one to receive the best care possible.

But… sometimes, in addition to the best care, our loved ones also need the best of US. And, if you are anything like me, ME always comes last. That is a problem. A BIG problem. Especially when ME is put out of commission due to health issues because ME didn’t take care of herself.

I am speaking from a place of experience. This little fact became true in my life about a year ago, and I learned a good lesson the hard way. I need to take care of ME with the same devotion and meticulous care in which I give to my loved one who experiences special needs. If I am not at my best, I cannot give my best to my loved one.

So, while the things I will share are not necessarily original with me, they are things that have greatly impacted my view on life and time management AND, in the last year, influenced the care I give to myself. These are just a few things I have benefited from:

We Always Have a Choice

You will hear many people say “I did _______________(fill in the blank) because I had no choice.” The TRUTH is that we always have a choice. Everything is a choice. We don’t HAVE to do anything. However, with every choice there are rewards and consequences. We “get to” decide what choices we make, whom we please, what tasks get done, and what is important to us and our families. It is a privilege to determine how we want to spend our time. But, many of us see this as a burden rather than it being freeing. This is all a matter of mindset. We have to change our thinking to give ourselves permission to make the choices we want to make or need to make and then taking responsibility for them.

We Only Get One Life

This is something I tell myself when I feel like I am in a corner and am about to commit to something that I am feeling pressured into or something that I am not completely sold out about. We only get ONE life. We get to choose how we want to live that life or how we want to impact the lives of others by how we live and the choices we make. When we place the fact that time is running out in front of our awareness, it radically changes the pressures that previously we might have felt and helps us to make a decision based on what we really want to do or what we feel is necessary.

It Is Okay to Say NO

Learning to say “no” was one of the most difficult things I ever encountered. It was a process because in my life, everyone always said yes (and were frazzled). I didn’t have a good role model of someone who was confident in saying no. Someone who was not guilt-ridden or who didn’t take on the pain of the world because they felt their “no” was letting someone or some organization down.

It is really important to be honest and truthful—especially in our answers, volunteering, and responses. Each of us is designed differently, and we won’t all have the same interests or passions for service. You need to make the best choice to support ways that you and your time can best be utilized.

It is okay to not be popular for a time because, in the end, you will excel in the areas that you know are a good fit for you and your talents and passions. If you mindlessly sign up for things you are not gifted at, you can be a detriment to that cause and a time waster.
Note: This is NOT a free pass to always stay on the sidelines and never get involved.

What Time Management Lessons Have You Learned

Now that you’ve read what Amy’s learned, it’s your turn to share what you’ve learned about time management lately. Please leave your wisdom in the comment box and come back tomorrow for Part Two of the series.

Tried and True Time Management Tips, Part Two

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Amy Stout is a wife, mother, and free-lance writer. You can visit her website at His Treasured Princess.

Author Jolene Philo

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Managing Your Time Without Losing Your Mind, Part 5

Managing Your Time Without Losing Your Mind, Part 5

In the final post in the series, Managing Your Time Without Losing Your Mind, Jolene Philo offers time management tips for parents of kids with special needs.

No, the above photo is not of me. But someone could have snapped a picture similar to it during my years as the parent of a child with special needs. More than once I felt as though I was losing my mind. Those years are indelibly imprinted in my memory. The purpose of the five part series, Managing Your Time Without Losing Your Mind, is to prevent other parents from feeling as I did. That’s why these guest bloggers shared their best tips with you:

Melissa Gamble in Part 1
Amy Stout in Part 2 and Part 3
Rebekah Benimoff and Laurie Wallin in Part 4

Jolene’s Time Management Tips

To close out the series, here are a few tips I learned over the years:

  • Make it fun: Whenever you can, make your tasks fun. My favorite part of elementary school was when our teacher read to us after lunch. My favorite part of teaching was reading to my students after lunch every day for twenty-five years. Now I listen to audiobooks while cooking and cleaning to make it fun. Another idea? Teach your kids to pair and fold socks into a ball. Then have them sort them by shooting baskets into tubs designated for each person in your family.
  • Never make just one of anything: If you’re making a casserole for supper, make two and freeze one. Do the same with crock pot meals, pies, cookies, cakes, whatever. Pretty soon you’ll have a week’s worth of extra meals for busy nights or to take to a family who needs a break from cooking.
  • Remember, this too shall pass: My mother repeated this phrase often during the first four years of our son’s life, which seemed to last forever. I repeated it to myself when raising our kids (born six years apart) seemed to take forever. Now they’re grown up, married, and moved away and the phrase is a poignant one. I encourage you to repeat the phrase when life as the parent of kids with special needs seems to last forever. Remember, this too shall pass.

Setting Priorities

More ideas about how to manage time can be found in my book, Different Dream Parenting: A Practical Guide to Raising a Child with Special Needs. (Click here to find links to the Amazon pages for the print and electronic versions.) Chapter 12 walks parents of kids with special needs through a series of exercises designed to help them determine God’s priorities for their lives. Between that chapter and the tips in this five part series, you will learn everything from my workshop at the 2012 Accessibility Summit on April 21.

Last Chance to Share Your Suggestions

Before the series ends, please leave a comment about your best time management tips. Or tell how you adapted one of the tips presented by our guest bloggers. If enough tips roll in, maybe they can be put together in a future post!

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

Managing Your Time Without Losing Your Mind: Part 1
Managing Your Time Without Losing Your Mind: Part 2
Managing Your Time Without Losing Your Mind: Part 3
Managing Your Time Without Losing Your Mind: Part 4

Managing Your Time Without Losing Your Mind, Part 4

Managing Your Time Without Losing Your Mind, Part 4

Managing Your Time Without Losing Your Mind, Part 4

This post is the fourth in a five part series about time management for parents of kids with special needs. All the strategies and tips have provided by DifferentDream.com guest bloggers. (For Melissa Gamble’s tips in Part 1, click here. For Amy Stout’s strategies, click here for Part 2 and here for Part 3.) Today’s tips come from time management mavens Rebekah Benimoff and Laurie Wallin. Here’s what they have to say about managing your time.

Rebekah Benimoff’s Time Management Tips

One of Rebekah’s sons had juvenile diabetes, the other has sensory issues, and her husband is a war veteran dealing with a traumatic brain injury. The two phone tricks she uses to stay ahead of their needs can be adapted for many other situations:

  • Set timers and also reminder alerts on your phone for checking blood glucose levels and when to change out insulin pump sets.
  • Set an alert for an hour or two before, and then 30 minutes so you can plan ahead as needed.

Laurie Wallin’s Time Management Tips

Two of Laurie Wallin’s four daughters deal with mental illness. She says she employs these practical suggestions to manage her time:

  • Get enough sleep: Parents manage time better and have a better attitude when they’re rested. For us, it meant having family come stay with us a few days a month, swapping childcare with a friend, or at times hiring in-home help so I could nap.
  • Plan the night before: If we go into the day with the list and the items we need already prepped, we’re ready to get things done as moments of opportunity open during the day.
  • Organize the essentials: Save time looking for misplaced keys by installing a hook for them on the wall by the garage. Have an expandable file folder with slots for each day of the month. File bills and other mail to follow up under the day it’s due.

Laurie adds that life with special needs creates chaos naturally. Organized chaos helps parents spend time on what matters.

How Do You Keep from Losing Your Mind?

Have you noticed how many people are using smart phone technology for time management purposes? Have any of you discovered good apps to pass along? If so, leave a comment about them or any other time savers you use. Come back next week for the last post in the series about how to manage your time without losing your mind.

Managing Your Time Without Losing Your Mind: Part 1
Managing Your Time Without Losing Your Mind: Part 2
Managing Your Time Without Losing Your Mind: Part 3
Managing Your Time Without Losing Your Mind: Part 5

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Jolene Philo is the author of several books for the caregiving community. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and Amazon. See Jane Sing!, the second book in the West River cozy mystery series, which features characters affected by disability, was released in November of 2022.

Author Jolene Philo

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Managing Your Time Without Losing Your Mind, Part 3

Managing Your Time Without Losing Your Mind, Part 3

In Part 3 of Managing Your Time Without Losing Your Mind, Amy Stout is back with five more strategies for parents of kids with special needs.

This series on time management for parents of kids with special needs is for anyone who ever feels like the person in the picture. In Part 3, guest blogger Amy Stout is back with five more strategies for parents like you and me. (Click here for Part 2 of the series which showcases Amy’s first five strategies for managing your time. Click here for Part 1 of the series.) Amy passed along these strategies to be included in a workshop I recently presented at the Accessibilty Summit in Washington, DC. See what you think.

Strategy 6: PPPPPPP

PPPPPP stands for proper prior planning prevents poor performance, one of Amy’s husband’s favorite military acronyms.  How does it work? Amy and her husband lay out their clothes the night before. Amy buys or makes birthday and Christmas gifts way in advance.  The one thing she says they haven’t mastered is meal planning. She calls their family a work in progress.

Strategy 7: Take Time for Yourself While Multitasking

Amy takes time for herself, but it usually involves multitasking. She reads while her nails dry or in the bathtub. She composes emails while watching TV, Facebooks with international students while drinking coffee.

Strategy 8: Choose Imperfection

Amy’s house is very small. Her front door leads into my living room which is also the family room, TV room, toy room, dining room, and the laundry folding room. She says it usually looks like a hurricane hit it. Things are clean, but people are living in it.  Sometimes, it bothers her that this is the first room that everyone sees and that by looking at it, they will never guess how organized she is.  But Amy made a difficult choice for her personality type. She chose imperfection and reminds herself that her daughter will only be young once, to be thankful she and her husband are crowded into the same room, and that folded laundry isn’t so bad.

Strategy 9: Educate Others

Worrying about what other people think really inhibits time management.  Therefore, Amy eliminates educates others about “Kylie World”.  She creates lists of how to prepare Kylie foods, how to put her to bed, how to calm her, her favorite toys, her likes and dislikes, what sets her off, phrases that she uses, and how they are interpreted. Other lists explain how to administer her medications, describe favorite activities and toys, and contain emergency contacts.

Strategy 10: Be Diligent about Paperwork

To make waiver renewal time go easier, Amy says it helps to be diligent about filing important paperwork for the previous three years. Papers to file include reports from doctor’s offices, pay stubs, insurance reports, medication changes, incident reports, therapy reports, growth charts, and immunization forms.  Looking for all of that on the fly can be a nightmare!!

Time for Your Two Cents

Okay, now that Amy shared her tried and true strategies, how about you? Leave a comment about time management techniques you’ve discovered. Or comment about the tips Amy shared. We’d love to hear from you. While you wait for tips from two more guest bloggers in Part 4 posts next week, check out Amy’s site at www.histreasuredprincess.blogspot.com.

Managing Your Time Without Losing Your Mind: Part 1
Managing Your Time Without Losing Your Mind: Part 2
Managing Your Time Without Losing Your Mind: Part 4
Managing Your Time Without Losing Your Mind: Part 5

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.