How I Planted a Garden of Joy

How I Planted a Garden of Joy

How I Planted a Garden of Joy

Today guest blogger Heather Johnson relates how she and a terminally ill friend celebrated joy through the simple act of gardening.

How I Planted a Garden of Joy

I planted a garden last week. Not just any garden. Not a garden for me. But it ended up being for me in a way. Maybe for you too?

I have this friend around my age. Except for an uncooperative gall bladder demanding removal right before Christmas, she’d been healthy and vibrant. Once the scalpel opened her, the shock began. Her surgeon discovered a very aggressive stage-four cancer.

I’ve prayed. But I’ve wanted to do something more, something tangible to bless her. Because the “D” word has taken up residence in my mind—that five-letter word we don’t even want to whisper lest it extinguish the last flicker of hope we have left.

The question nagged me.

How do you show someone you care, that you really care, when such devastating news is delivered and they’re so sick that survival becomes the greatest goal of every day?

My answer came quickly.

Be there.

So that’s what I did.

Last week, we met at her front door. We hugged for the first time since her diagnosis. Chemo has reduced her body to a bag of bones. Her hair is gone, her eyebrows drawn on.

“How can I help you right now?” I asked as we walked past the dining room, clean laundry beckoning hands to fold. She needed to eat, she said. So as I tended to intimate clothes like underwear and pajamas, we talked about her illness—her chemo, her physical pain, her fear, her faith, her unknown, and her known.

We both know God, and we both know God is good no matter what. Still, there’s anxiety and sadness standing right beside determination and hope. Because God doesn’t always heal. Not in the ways or in the time we always want. A peace settled upon us, I believe, as we talked openly, honestly, without fear of what the other might think or feel.

After finishing the folding, she asked for something surprising.

“Would you clean out my garden? You’re so good at gardening, and I’d really like to look out and see some flowers.”

Of all I thought I could do, would do, wanted to do, cleaning out and planting a garden hadn’t even crossed my mind. Why, I don’t know.

Gardening is a special gift I’ve given to people for years, sharing of fresh cut flowers in clean canning jars with a ribbon. I had only thought of cooking or cleaning or just sitting and listening to my friend. But to do something so easy and enjoyable? To just be my best me? How in the world could that bless?

“Of course! I’d love to help you with your garden!”

She took me to the garage, showed me the tools, and led me to her garden—one of the most overgrown I’d ever seen. She asked me to save the perennials if possible and went inside to rest.

I went to work.

The moment I plunged the spade into the earth and examined more closely, the diagnosis became grim. The bed had become completely overrun with quack grass—that invasive, intrusive, aggressive killer of all things good that spreads by underground runners. After two hours of digging and excavating, I delivered the bad news. Her bed was too far gone. I couldn’t save her perennials.

But there was good news! I could bring her garden back to life!

I explained the three phases, already underway:

  • excavate the invasive grass & roots
  • bring in topsoil, peat moss, and composted horse manure from our farm
  • plant all new perennials

I told her I would share some of my Autumn Joy sedum, black-eyed Susan, purple coneflower, yellow daylilies. She liked the idea. But I had a grander plan—a plan I didn’t want to tell her about because I wanted her to wake up one day, look out, and see a garden beyond her wildest dreams.

My mom always told me, “Flowers should be given to the living, not to the dead.”

I took Mom’s motto as enthusiastic support for a garden center shopping spree. I picked out perennials and annuals that would give the most color quickly. One never knows how many tomorrows we have.

My husband, son, and I brought in the soil, the composted manure, the peat moss. We planted the whole garden while she was gone to an afternoon wedding and evening reception with her husband. I finished off her new garden with a towering obelisk and a brilliant red climbing mandevilla right in the center. (Oh, and I couldn’t pass up the shepherd’s hook with a new wren house! Because even the birds need love.)

Next morning a grateful, joyous text came early. She thought a fairy gardener had visited during the night.

The garden is now full of vibrant life, blessing one who may soon lose hers, overrun as she is with her own inner spread. Will she see the Autumn Joy bloom in September?

God only knows.

But whether she sees the blooms from here or from heaven, there will be joy. Always, there is joy! So catch it while we can! And like every flower with life-giving seed, we must scatter joy generously and watch it grow.

There’s an awful lot of loss in this life. Still, there’s always the hope of gain.

I’m thankful my friend asked for what I had never imagined giving. All because I showed up and stepped into her invitation to be my best self in a garden that needed tending.

You can do the same. You can start a new “garden” of life today. Plant yourself right where you’ll thrive and bloom best and spread your seeds of joy to another. This is enough. More than enough.

For all.
For God.
For you.

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Heather MacLaren Johnson lives near Wisconsin’s Lake Michigan shore with her husband of 25 years, 3 horses, 2 dogs, 2 barn cats, and a fish. She earned her B.S. in Education and her doctorate in Clinical Psychology before adopting 3 amazing kids from Russia, all now in their 20’s, all with life-long challenges stemming from prenatal exposure to alcohol (FASD). She is completing a memoir about her mother/daughter journey through hidden disabilities and mental illness.

Heather’s essay about learning to ride horses at age 44 is included in Leslie Leyland Field’s The Wonder Years: 40 Women Over 40 on Aging, Faith, Beauty, and Strength(Kregel Publications). She has published devotional pieces for The Seed Company (Wycliffe Bible Translators Affiliate) You can learn more about Heather at her website www.truelifewithgod.com.

Author Jolene Philo

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I Want to Come Home

I Want to Come Home

I Want to Come Home

My longing to come home intensifies each time my body fails me, when loved ones die, and upon hearing of another child receiving a different special needs diagnosis. One day when the longing was especially strong, I tried to explain the source of my growing desire to come home. Words failed in the end, but the longing remains. Perhaps you feel it, too.

I Want to Come Home

The news wasn’t what I’d hoped for. After three weeks of pampering, the broken bone in my right foot hadn’t healed much. The polite, young doctor didn’t say the lack of progress is age-related, but I’m pretty sure it is. He advised surgery as the next step (no pun intended), which means five to seven more weeks with a boot, wheelchair and crutches as unwanted companions.

The day after the diagnosis was difficult. I pondered two more months of relying on others to take me to appointments. Two more months of carefully maneuvering a wheelchair into the bathroom and bedroom. Two more months of waiting for others to open doors to get into bathrooms labeled “handicapped accessible.” Two more months of the foot injury exercise video created by a woman who thinks the human body can bend in ways mine never has.

I scrolled through Facebook as a distraction and clicked on a post about a cancer run dedicated to a dear friend who lives in northwest South Dakota. She had been treated for breast cancer a few years back. In a phone call early this summer, her husband said her prognosis was good. Two months ago, someone posted a picture of my friend in glowing good health. But the picture of her at the cancer run was a different matter. She was in a wheelchair, on oxygen, her head covered with a floppy hat.

I messaged a mutual acquaintance to learn more, and the reply was sobering. This dear friend–who befriended me when we moved far from home after college, who lost a son to a freak accident when he was 17–is now battling brain cancer. “She is in good spirits,” our mutual acquaintance said, “and she’d love to hear from you.”

Surprisingly, I felt no guilt about being discouraged earlier in the day. My feelings are valid. The next few months will be difficult. My situation isn’t as serious as my friend’s, but it is an unwelcome reminder that my earthly tent will need more and more repairs as the years go by.

My heart ached for her and her husband, who is my husband’s dear friend. A longing for heaven welled up inside me, the longing that comes to all who are separated by distance and death from those we love. I wanted to throw off the chains that bind us to this earth and to be finished, once and for all, with this temporary life. I yearned to leave behind the good things of this world, none of which compare to the good things waiting in heaven–reunion with loved ones, restoration of relationships, and best of all, eternity in the presence of our Savior.

I want what we all want when life is not as it should be, what all who love Jesus desire as they complete the years ordained for them. At the end of all things, what we as believers truly want, what we want forever and for always, is simply to be where we belong. We want to come home.

For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down,
we have a building from God,
a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.
2 Corinthians 5:1

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Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

Author Jolene Philo

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Songs of Love: A Special Song for Children with Special Needs

Songs of Love: A Special Song for Children with Special Needs

Songs of love is an organization that writes free songs for children with facing tough medical, physical or emotional challenges. Learn more about it here.

Songs of Love has been around for a while – at least long enough to be featured by Dan Rather on 60 Minutes – but I’ve only recently become aware of the wonderful organization.

Songs of Love at www.songsoflove.org

Here’s the purpose statement from www.songsoflove.org:

The Songs of Love Foundation is a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing personalized songs for children and teens currently facing tough medical, physical or emotional challenges, free of charge.

Isn’t that the coolest thing?

Has Your Child Received a Song from Songs of Love?

The website says over 19,000 children in over 500 hospitals have received a song. If your child is one of them or you know someone who has received a song, would you leave a comment? The rest of us would love to know how this organization touched your child’s life.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

 

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How to Find Scholarships for People with Special Needs

How to Find Scholarships for People with Special Needs

Want to find scholarships for people with special needs? This website exists to match those with disabilities and special needs to higher education funds.

If your child with special needs is considering going to college, here’s a website you might want to visit. No, I’m going to rephrase that. Here’s a website you need to visit.

Where to Find Scholarships for People with Special Needs

DisabilitiesScholarships.us is packed with links to governmental and private scholarships for people with all sorts of disabilities and special needs. The website says, “There are unknown scholarships for disabled students that cover just about any type of disability that you may have. Everything from Multiple Sclerosis scholarships to deaf scholarships for paralyzed veterans is covered. What this means is that you do not have to be a graduating high school senior in order to be eligible for all of these disabilities scholarships, but that will be a requirement for some. For most, however, you can be an adult student either starting college for the first time or returning to further your education, as long as you meet the disability requirement for the scholarship you are applying for.” That means this site can help adults with special needs as well as high school students. So pass the information on.

Categories of Disabilities

To help you sift through the scholarships for people with special needs, they have been divided into the following categories:

  • Blind scholarships
  • Cancer scholarships
  • Diabetes scholarships
  • Education
  • Essay scholarships
  • Hearing scholarships
  • Learning scholarships
  • MS scholarships
  • Unknown scholarships
  • Unusual scholarships
  • Writing scholarships

 

I clicked the “unknown scholarships” link (Philosophers and cynics, please set aside your “if they’re unknown scholarships how can we know about them” objections and be nice. We’re talking about real money here.) and learned people with disabilities can not only receive Fulbright Scholarships, but also receive assistance so disabilities won’t keep them from using them.

Keep Searching the Site

If your disability isn’t listed in the categories above, don’t give up. Beneath the categories, there is a running list of recent scholarships posted – everything from Lyme’s Disease to Learning Disabilities and everything in between. The site also offers an RSS feed to alert you of new postings.

So check it out, and if you find something useful, come back and leave a comment. Your success could spur someone else on, too.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Nic Has a Dream

Nic Has a Dream

Today’s inaguration of our first African-American president, Barack Obama, fulfills the dream Martin Luther King put into words when I was an elementary student.

One of my former elementary students recently put words to one of his dreams recently. Nic, who is fighting cancer for the third time in his fifteen years of life, shares his dream at his family’s CaringBridge page. Click this link to get to the CaringBridge website. Type “nicroney” in the box to get to his page. Then click on “Read Journal” and scroll down to the January 19, 2009 entry to see what he wrote. And please, will you join me in praying that someday, perhaps soon, his dream of a cure for childhood cancer will be fulfilled?