by jphilo | Oct 18, 2011 | Different Dream, Holidays, Special Needs Parenting
Only two more weeks until Halloween and Nancy Flanders is here with a few tricks for parents of kids with food restrictions. Take a look at her suggestions and see which ones could work for you on October 31.
How To Trick or Treat with a Food Restriction
Halloween is just around the corner and millions of households will be taken over by candy. So much delicious candy! But for some families, the debate isn’t about how much or how little to eat in a sitting, but how that candy will affect their child’s health and life. Conditions like food allergies and diabetes are cause for serious concern around Halloween, but having a strategic plan can help.
Trick-or-Treat with Care
Sit down with your family and make a set of rules for the evening. Make sure your child is well supervised if she isn’t old enough to be trusted with the rules on her own. Don’t let her eat any candy until she gets home when you will sit down together to go through the candy and check for allergy or carb count dangers. If your child has a condition like cystic fibrosis, you can give her an enzyme or two before she heads out to trick-or-treat or agree that she has to wait until she gets home to eat any candy.
Talk to the Neighbors
It really does take a village. If your neighbors and friends don’t know about your child’s diet restrictions, this is the perfect chance to inform them. You can give them certain candy or safe treats that they can have on hand to give to your child when she rings their doorbell. In this case, stick to trick-or-treating at the homes of those who know your child best.
Pull a Trick of Your Own
If your child is too young to understand why she can’t have certain candies, she probably won’t notice if you swap out her Halloween bag with an identical one full of treats and toys you picked out. It’s sneaky, but will keep your child safe.
Don’t Trick-or-Treat
Rather than trick-or-treating, host a party at home. For children with diet restrictions this is the best way to control their candy type and amount without having to take any candy away from them. For the child with diabetes, you can have sugar-free candy available. For the child with nut allergies you can make sure there is only candy without nuts in your home. The child with Prader-Willi syndrome can also be well monitored during a party at home with a small amount of treats. So in the end you aren’t the bad guy, but the good guy who let them have a party.
Any Tricks Up Your Sleeve?
Those are the tricks Nancy’s developed over the years. How about you? What diet restriction tips are up your sleeves? Leave a comment about your child’s restrictions and what works for you.
Nancy Flanders is a wife and mother of two girls, one with cystic fibrosis. After her daughter’s diagnosis at just 6 days old, she altered her career path to focus on writing about raising a child with a special health need. She spends any free moment she can find fundraising for a cure for her daughter and volunteering for her hospital’s cystic fibrosis advisory group. Visit Nancy at www.chronicadmissions.blogspot.com and www.parentingsquad.com.
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by jphilo | Oct 12, 2011 | Different Dream, Holidays, Special Needs Parenting
Are you feeling more hopeful about Halloween after reading Part 1 of guest blogger Amy Stout’s series yesterday? Then today’s post will encourage you even more. Today, Amy gives ideas about how to make Halloween not only fun, but also purposeful. You may be wondering what that means. Read on to find out!
A Special Needs Halloween: Creating a Successful and Purposeful Holiday, Pt. 2
After receiving our daughter’s diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (PDD-NOS), we quickly realized that Halloween is a wonderful holiday for helping our daughter to practice the skills she is learning in a very effective, natural and appropriate way.
Strategies For A Purposeful Special Needs Halloween:
Manners and eye contact: Specifically saying “Thank You” and expressing appreciation for the gift of candy (and the compliments on her costume). Before Kylie can leave a house with her candy, she must thank the person who gave it to her. We prompt her to look at the person and then to say or sign “Thank You” – by the end of the evening, she is almost doing it on her own (very little prompting needed).
Taking turns: When there is a group of children gathering at a home, we have Kylie wait her turn. This teaches her patience and being kind to our friends.
Greeting one another: When we approach or pass a child on the sidewalk, we prompt Kylie to greet them by saying “Hi, Friend”.
Boundaries: We allow Kylie a few treats during the evening but we limit them by using the “First/Then” method. It might sound something like this: FIRST Smarties THEN lollypop or FIRST Hershey’s kiss, THEN book. It sets the tone for an ending.
Safety: When she was an infant, we taught Kylie a little saying so that she would never “fight” being buckled into a car seat. We said “Buckle up for Safety” and we gradually progressed to “Buckle up…” and Kylie would finish “For Safety”. When we are out and about, we require Kylie to hold our hands. We adapt the saying to “Hold hands… For Safety”. This is just an accepted part of her routine.
Faith: We use the book The Pumpkin Gospel to put a faith base to the holiday of Halloween. (we love the object lesson of pumpkin carving to teach that God can take away all of the yucky things in us and give us a light to shine for him). Another good book is The Pumpkin Parable.
Time to Share Your Special Needs Halloween Tricks
Now that Amy’s shared the tricks she and Dan use to make Halloween successful for Kylie, it’s your turn. What tricks do you use to help your child? Please leave a comment below. To take a look at Kylie’s Halloween outfits from year to year, visit Amy’s blog at http://histreasuredprincess.blogspot.com/ . This child is absolutely adorable!
Part One
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by jphilo | Oct 11, 2011 | Different Dream, Holidays, Special Needs Parenting
Halloween will be here soon, and kids are are already vibrating with excitement. Parents, well, maybe not so much. Especially parents of kids who experience autism, deal with sensory issues, or struggle to overcome behavioral issues. Today and tomorrow, guest blogger Amy Stout offers strategies for a successful Halloween fun for everybody.
A Special Needs Halloween: Creating a Successful and Purposeful Holiday, Pt. 1
Halloween was never my favorite holiday. I never had a store bought costume and never really desired one. My siblings/friends and I always just threw something together (there were LOTS of cowgirls and cheerleaders roaming my neighborhood). Oh sure, I loved Halloween for the candy I received, but I didn’t have any special memories.
That is …. until Halloween of 2005.
You see, Halloween of 2005 is when Dan and I were invited to accompany our birth parents to the ultrasound that would declare the gender of our baby. I remember holding my breath waiting to hear (and just praying they would be able to distinguish). After an agonizing eternity, the nurse finally told us that we had a “turtle” (aka: a girl). I cried for joy – I had wanted a little girl so much!!
Dan and I had previously decided that WE wanted to know the gender of our baby, but we did not want to communicate it to anyone else until the actual birth. It was the hardest secret of our lives!! It nearly killed us not to tell. So, to keep from slipping, we named the baby “Boo”. It was so much fun!
From that moment on, any updates we gave to family and friends about our baby or the progressing adoption always included how Boo was doing. At the next ultrasound, one of our friends gave us a Halloween card and wrote inside “Hope you get a peek-a-boo” (during the ultrasound) – I thought that was sooo clever!!
Since that special day, I have always had a soft spot in my heart for Halloween and the memories of meeting our “Baby Boo” for the first time.
While Halloween is now a special day to us – it has the potential to be a very upsetting day for any child who experiences autism or special needs. Like most holidays, Halloween is a multi-sensory event. There is much stimuli to be processed if you attempt to participate in the activities of the season. Our family learned a lot in our first few years of celebrating this holiday and wanted to share with you things that have helped us have a purposeful and successful holiday.
Strategies For A Successful Special Needs Halloween:
Costumes: Make sure your child WANTS to dress up. Check costumes for comfort level and eliminate any discomforting areas of the costume. Make sure children have clear vision and breathing passages through masks. This seems common sense, but it is amazing to me how many children struggle on Halloween while caregivers are oblivious.
Set your child’s expectations: Tell your child what kind (scary, cartoon, etc) of costumes they might see, let them know that they will be safe with you. Let them know it is ok to feel nervous but that you will be right with them. If your child will allow it, hold their hand (especially when crossing driveways and streets). If they won’t allow you to hold their hand, I suggest loosely holding the back collar of their shirt (where the tag is).
Route: Make sure to map out your route ahead of time. Choose locations that meet your child’s particular needs. In our family, we go to a different neighborhood entirely. If we tried to trick or treat in our neighborhood, our daughter wouldn’t understand that it is a once a year event. Each day she would attempt to knock on our neighbors’ doors expecting candy.
Diet: Eat a good dinner before starting and be sure to monitor your child’s sugar intake. Plan ahead for a way to distract your child (bring along books, a flashlight, glow in the dark toys or spinners and/or etc to keep their hands busy. Give them sugarless gum to chew or offer them a chewy tube). Make sure they stay hydrated.
Schedule/Time: Be sure to watch your child’s endurance level. If they are tired, give them permission to take a break or stop altogether. Be sure to attend to your child’s restroom/diapering needs.
Weather: Be prepared for inclement or cold weather. Be sure to wear appropriate footwear. Keep an umbrella in your vehicle.
Lighting: Choose a location that is well lit.
Know your child’s fears and phobias: Don’t choose the holiday to conduct therapy or teach your child a lesson in overcoming their fears.
Help your child be prepared: In the state that I live, it is tradition for children to tell a joke when they knock on someone’s house. If your child is verbal, help them to memorize a joke or two to have ready. If your child is nonverbal, you may want to create joke cards to hand to the person who answers the door. Either way, make an effort for your child to be included in the local traditions. EVERY activity can be adapted.
Reinforce Halloween etiquette: Only knock on doors whose outdoor lights are on, only walk on sidewalks (not on grass), follow the time allowed for trick or treating (do not arrive early or keep going after end time).
What Strategies Help Your Kids?
Amy’s special needs Halloween ideas, as always, are practical and doable. If you’ve discovered other strategies that work for your family, leave a comment. And come back tomorrow for Part 2 of the series where Amy will present strategies for a purposeful Halloween. Until then, check out Amy’s blog at http://histreasuredprincess.blogspot.com/.
Part Two
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by jphilo | Jun 17, 2011 | Different Dream, Holidays, Special Needs Parenting
Guest blogger Scott Newport called the other day and asked, “Do you need something for Father’s Day?” When I said yes, he sent this sweet poem. He wrote it two years ago when Evan’s health was failing, and Scott knew his remaining Fathers Days with his youngest child were numbered. So in memory of Evan, read on.
Scott’s Note to Readers
Another Fathers Day is fast approaching and, this week, I wrote a poem about it. I am looking forward to celebrating Father’s Day with all three of my children. Recently, Chelsea and Noah have been doing well but Evan has been sick for about a week and is unable to come off the vent.
Unfortunately, the last couple of illnesses have really uncovered the progression of Evan’s disease—something that makes me embrace every day with my kids. Evan’s most recent illness has reminded me again that Evan will never be a father.
The poem expresses that all fathers are also sons; but that, unfortunately, not all sons have the chance to become fathers.
I hope you and yours have a great Fathers Day.
Scott (father of three)
Two Sides
By Scott Newport
To have and to be
Is known by me
To be seen and to see
Is a part of me
To listen and to tell
That makes us well
To hold and to be held
Makes the perfect weld
To be loved and to love
Is like our father above
To be a boy or have one
The meaning of “son”
Fathers day has two sides:
One is to have, the other is pride
Your Fathers Day Thoughts?
Do you have Fathers Day thoughts to share? A father to honor? Please leave a comment!
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by jphilo | Nov 24, 2010 | Different Dream, Holidays, Special Needs Parenting
Do you need help finding something to be thankful for this Thanksgiving? This story by guest blogger Scott Newport may give the encouragement you need.
The Thanksgiving Tree
It is Thanksgiving weekend here in Michigan. The weather is cool. The sky is
blue.
I am standing at the picture window, looking out at our front yard. And
there it is-the small tree Penni and I planted three years ago. A few
wilted leaves hang on, but soon they will be blown off. It’s just a matter
of time.
The Day She Brought the Thanksgiving Tree Home
I remember the day Penni brought the tree home. As she pulled up in the
driveway, I saw a big grin on her face. She got out of the car, producing
the scraggly runt of a tree. She’d found it in a dumpster behind our local
garden center. The tree’s leaves were wilted, Its roots were crowded, and
the pot it was in was so very dry.
Being an optimist, I began to smile. “We will bury it in good soil,
fertilize it, and water it every day,” I said. “We can save this tree.” Penni agreed. We decided to plant our little tree right in the center of our
front yard for everyone to see.
Penni and I prepared the soil, lowered the tree into the ground, covered its
roots with dirt, and watered it.
Big Dreams for Our Thanksgiving Tree
As we worked, we talked about how
beautiful our tree would be someday. We dreamed about the shade it would
provide for our house once it was big and tall. We imagined hanging a rope
swing from its limbs. Lofting a tree house in its branches. We had big
dreams for this little tree.
In the fall of that year, I decided to prune some of the branches to give it
a great start for next spring. To be honest, our tree looked pretty sorry.
As neighbors walked by, they’d see our tree and chuckle. “Why bother with
that poor tree?”
And I’d ask myself, “Why am I such an optimist? Why am I trying to save this
tree?”
Thinking back to my early years, I remember playing basketball. I went to a
small school and we had a terrible athletic program. In the years I went to
school there, we never-not once-won a game.
Not basketball.
Not football.
Not baseball.
Nothing.
But I remember playing each and every game until the end as though we were
going to win. Some of the guys would give up as they realized we we’d lose,
but I never did. As we’d walk off the court and I’d look up at the
scoreboard, I was always surprised to learn that it wasn’t even a close
game.
I still don’t know why I’m like this but I think it’s a good characteristic.
Not Looking Great
Getting back to the tree, in the years since we planted our tree, it still
does not look great. But I like that tree. I mean, it could have given up.
Or I could have given up. But we didn’t. Maybe someday that tree will be big
and beautiful and the people passing by will admire it.
But even if that
doesn’t happen, it’s okay because there is much more to life than meets the
eye. It’s called hope. I like to hope. It’s kinda what keeps me going and I
think that’s a good thing also.
Hope and the Thanksgiving Tree
My son Evan is 22 months old. When he was born, the doctors told us that he
might not make it. They said, “He’s not perfect. He has a lot of medical
problems.” After 252 days in the hospital, Penni and I brought him home. We
look at Evan and we see potential. We take him and love him and care for
him-just like our little tree.
People look at Evan and you can see the look in their eyes-it’s the same
look they give the tree. But we put Evan right out there in front and show
him off. We have hope that someday he will be big and strong just like the
tree. But even if that doesn’t happen, it’s okay because life is full of
imperfect things.
If we give up, we lose. But if we hope, if we try to
overcome.
If we say, “We can do it,” that’s when we win.
Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.
by jphilo | Aug 13, 2010 | Different Dream, Holidays, Special Needs Parenting
The fireworks and flags are long gone, but the holiday’s been on my mind ever since.
Meet Chloe Downey
The pre-occupation began with a post at Chloe Downy’s CaringBridge page. She’s a teenager who recently completed successful treatment for High Risk Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL). Though she’s pretty much done with doctors and hospitals, her mom often posts thoughtful items about other families they know.
Hospitals and Minor Holidays Like the 4th of July
Her entry about a family in the hospital over the 4th of July weekend. After describing how the girl was fighting cancer, she went on to say this:
“His side comment has haunted me: ‘July 4th’s were very tough. We watched a lot of fireworks from a hospital room.‘
Hospital staff does very well with the traditional holidays for children, but they have yet to approve indoor fireworks to ohh and awe over.
There is nothing like the world outside having a party, being invited, but having to be someplace where you don’t want to be at all that is very difficult on a family’s soul.”
How Can We Help?
Ouch. Those words hurt. They left me wondering how to raise awareness among friends of families of sick kids. How can they help until hospitals pick up the slack and have indoor fireworks for families watching the celebration from their hospital rooms. Here’s what I came up with:
- Take a 4th of July picnic to the hospital and eat with the family.
- Have a parade in the hallway.
- Have an indoor beach party, complete with kiddie pools full of sand.
Not very impressive, is it? And with another minor holiday, Labor Day, on the horizon a few more ideas would be nice. If you have ideas or stories about how you celebrated minor holidays in the hospital, would you please leave a comment? Maybe we can come up with a bigger list to FB and tweet about the week before Labor Day.
Get to Know Chloe
If you’d like to know more about Chloe, click on this link to visit her CaringBridge site. To learn more about the family who watched fireworks from the hospital, you’ll find a link to their page at Chloe’s July 3 journal entry.
I look forward to reading about your great holiday celebration ideas!
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