When Pets, Bracelets, and Autism Come Together

When Pets, Bracelets, and Autism Come Together

When Pets, Bracelets, and Autism Come Together

When pets, bracelets, and autism come together, good things happen. In today’s post, guest blogger Heather Braucher explains how her family experienced the convergence of those three things in a truly remarkable and faith-building way.

My kids have been asking for pets of their own.

My daughter’s argument was that she wanted something that was just hers, specifically a cute little hamster she could bond with. She is the older sister to two brothers with “extra” needs, which brings with it a level of hardship beyond the challenge of having two younger brothers.

Her youngest brother’s argument for getting a pet was, “If I had a pet, I would never be bored.”

My middle son really wasn’t interested in anything except getting a dog. If it wasn’t a dog, the idea of a pet didn’t really grab him.

We originally set out to get a dog for therapeutic support purposes. We applied with an organization and had made it through two interviews before we were denied. The reasoning—“For the safety of the dogs.”

That was a tough one to hear. I thought my boys, one on the spectrum and the other with hearing loss, could benefit from a therapy dog in social and safety situations, but this organization felt that the ages, needs, and behaviors of my boys would put their dogs in danger.

Humbling, to say the least.

We decided to get a dog with hopes of getting it trained. Little did we know, Josie, our dear goldendoodle, would come with her own “extra” needs. There were many sweet moments with Josie, but it became apparent that our youngest son’s unpredictable behaviors were causing her increased anxiety. Then we discovered she had multiple digestive issues and early signs of hip dysplasia. Her needs and the medical expenses for both her and the kids were too great for us. She’s been re-homed with an incredible family and is thriving, but we miss her.

Getting a pet is not as easy as it sounds.

When my sweet daughter, my firstborn, has an idea, it does not die easily. She fans that flame. She not only wrote us a research paper explaining everything she learned about hamsters, but also presented the ways that she would care for her hamster. She created a summer reading challenge with the reward being—getting a hamster. She raised money over the summer to cover as many of the hamster’s costs as she could. She hoped we would cover the difference, because she had completed the reading challenge.

She set out to sell lemonade, provide pet-sitting services, and even sell homemade jewelry.

As the summer approached its end, she was anxious that she had not gotten a hamster yet. In one last effort she said, I’m going to make a stand and sell my handmade loom bracelets for a dollar each.

I helped make a poster, baked cookies to sweeten the deal, and a set up a bracelet sale stand to support my daughter—multiple times since we kept getting rain. I was frustrated. This was not how I wanted to spend my day. I felt uncertain about the “pets”—she had gotten her brothers into it too—we were getting after the sale.

The most amazing thing happened while we were setting the stand up in our garage since the rain would not let up. A man walked up and asked, “How many can you make for twenty dollars?” He said he would be back with the cash and they could try to make as many as they could. They were so excited and got right to work!

But the story gets better!

When he returned, he upped the ante. He said, “Actually, I would like to ask you if you could make 150 bracelets.” He shared that he runs a non-profit organization called Hope on the Spectrum, and his annual golf tournament fundraiser was approaching. He wanted the bracelets to be made with the colors that represent autism to give them out at the event.

As my daughter and my son, who is on the spectrum, listened, their jaws dropped.

The man shared his personal experiences with his son with autism. Because of early intervention and support, his son is thriving in high school against all predictions. He created his organization because of his passion to support others.

I could see it in the eyes of my children.

Their bracelet stand had turned into something bigger than raising money for their pets. That something was very relative to both my daughter and my son’s lives in different ways.

I will never forget that look, the days they dedicated to making bracelets to support other families with children on the spectrum, and the feelings I experienced.

We are seen.
Our lives and the struggles we navigate are not lost.
They matter.

Nothing is wasted.

God is going to use them for the good of others and His Glory.

We are now the proud owners of a hamster, a gerbil and a scooter—my middle son’s non-pet choice. They love their pets, and I think the pets are doing well too.

This verse speaks truth about the feeling we can experience when pets, bracelets, and autism come together.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,
who comforts us in all our troubles,
so that we can comfort those in any trouble
with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)

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Heather Braucher is a member of the “Braucher Bunch” aka her energetic family of 5. The bunch includes her husband and their three children, all of whom are dominant and extroverted and are going to change the world (if she can keep them alive!) She has always held a passion for writing, but motherhood has given her a reason to share her experiences, heartaches, and victories with others. In her writing you will hear stories of hope as well as grief, as her family has navigated life in ministry in the US and overseas, all while discovering that 2 of her children have special needs. Her desire is to provide others with connection, understanding, encouragement and laughter, all washed with the love of Christ.

Author Jolene Philo

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Did I Trust God’s Plan for the Life of My Child with Disabilities?

Did I Trust God’s Plan for the Life of My Child with Disabilities?

Did I Trust God’s Plan for the Life of My Child with Disabilities?

Did I trust God’s plan for the life of my child with disabilities?

That’s a question I’ve been mulling over since our South Dakota camping vacation ended with a surprising twist. The twist being that my husband Hiram testing positive for Covid two days before we were to head home with our camper in tow.

We were almost 700 miles from home.
Hiram had chills, a fever, body aches, congestion, extreme fatigue, and brain fog.

My towing-a-camper-behind-a-big-truck skills were abysmal.

The forecast was for 100+ temperatures on the way home.

My chances of contracting Covid were high. Very high. Very, very high.

It wasn’t safe for me to drive home under those conditions.

My MO in stressful situations is to freak out. This time I didn’t. Instead, I listened to the still small voice in my head.

“You are not alone,” it said.
“I have prepared a way to get you home.”

“You tend to what you can do, while I do the other stuff.”

What did I tend to?

First, I called our daughter Anne and her husband Kailen—we live in an intergenerational home with them—about our dilemma. Next, I went to the drugstore and bought N-95 masks and a big bottle of hand sanitizer. After that, I located a nearby Urgent Care Clinic so my husband and I could arrive there early the next morning.

Then my daughter called and said, “Kailen will get you home. We’ll figure it out. You take care of Dad.”

To read the rest of Did I Trust God’s Plan for the Life of My Child with Disabilities?, visit the Key Ministry website.

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Jolene Philo is the author of several books for the caregiving community. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. Sharing Love Abundantly with Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and Amazon. See Jane Dance!, the third book in the West River cozy mystery series, which features characters affected by disability, was released in October of 2023.

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Two Coping Skills for Families with Disabilities

Two Coping Skills for Families with Disabilities

Two Coping Skills for Families with Disabilities

Kristin Faith Evans understands first-hand the stresses of special needs parenting. In this post, she explains coping strategies she’s used to keep her focused and calm in the middle of the storms of life.

Soon after my daughter with complex needs came home from the hospital, I began struggling to cope with her care needs. I learned that parents of children with special needs must use additional coping strategies more often than parents of children without disabilities. Research shows two skills in particular can help parent caregivers better manage the added stress.

1. Mindfulness

Mindfulness is simply fully participating in the present moment. For example, if you’re washing dishes, slow down and feel the warm water on your skin, focus on scrubbing the dish, smell the soap, and notice your feet on the floor. If your mind wanders to your to-do list, simply come back to your present task.

By being fully present in doing one thing at a time, your anxiety about the future and your painful emotions about the past can lower in intensity. Regularly practicing mindfulness can actually effectively rewire the neural networks in your brain and reduce the negative effects of stress. Practicing mindfulness also contributes to decreased depression and anxiety, improved long-term physical and mental health, higher quality of life, and an easier time adapting. Parenting mindfully can improve your interactions with your child and their development and even reduce your child’s problematic, aggressive, or self-injurious behaviors.

Try this:

Take three minutes today to stop and simply be in the present moment. Notice what you hear, smell, feel, and see. Observe your breathing. Take a slow, deep breath then return to your day.

Here are some free mindfulness apps you can try:

Smiling Mind
UCLA Mindful app
Mindfulness Coach by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs

2. Gratitude

I discovered it can become easy to feel stuck and overwhelmed by the stress, making it difficult to see past my challenges. About five years ago, I began making a list of Scriptures about thankfulness. I posted the verses on my bathroom mirror and recorded them in a journal. I now stop during the day, take a slow deep breath, and thank God for the blessings I’m grateful for that day. This brings a smile to my face and gives me new perspective.

Practicing gratitude can improve our physical and mental health, lower our stress levels, and make us more resilient as disability parents. Expressing thankfulness to God can give us new hope and joy and help us see our circumstances in a new light.

These are two easy ways to practice gratitude:

Meditate on Scriptures

Try focusing on memorizing one verse or reading the verse out loud. Here are some sample verses: Psalm 9:1, Psalm 107:1, 1 Corinthians 15:57, 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Start a gratitude journal

Write down one thing for which you are thankful each day or write out your prayers thanking God. On days you feel discouraged, go back and read through your list.

I hope these two coping skills for families with disabilities help lower your stress levels and bring you more joy.

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Kristin lives with her husband, Todd, and their two children in the Nashville, TN area. She is an author, speaker, mental health counselor, and a mom of two children with rare genetic disorders and complex needs. Her greatest passion is teaming up with her husband to empower other parents of children with disabilities, mental health disorders, and medical complications. She hopes that you may find encouragement and support on their website www.DisabilityParenting.com

Author Jolene Philo

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We Need Community while Parenting Kids with Disabilities and Special Needs

We Need Community while Parenting Kids with Disabilities and Special Needs

We Need Community while Parenting Kids with Disabilities and Special Needs

We need community while parenting kids with disabilities and special needs. Sandy Ramsey-Trayvick describes how the Holy Spirit nudged her to seek out other moms, how being in community helps her, and how you can find a community of moms, too.

“Don’t isolate yourself.” The Lord spoke those words to me at the very beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic. I wasn’t feeling particularly isolated. I wasn’t alone or lonely—I was with my family—but I assumed God knew what I would need or would later be facing better than I did. So I decided to look online for Christian groups for moms of kids with special needs. I’m not sure why I decided to look for special needs groups as a way to stay connected. I’d never really belonged to a special needs community before.

Fast forward to today: I still belong to the same special needs community I found online four years ago and it has become such an important part of my life:

  • It has filled a need that I didn’t even know I had—to belong to a group of moms who share my faith AND who understand this special needs journey. I’d grown so accustomed to living much of my life as a Christian special needs mom by myself. I knew a couple of the moms from my son’s class over the years, but no real connection ever formed. I had settled into and made peace with the reality that I’d be alone on this journey.
  • It has given me the opportunity to serve other moms like me—I’ve led a community group for years and have enjoyed getting to know moms from all over the United States—moms of different ages, at different stages on their special needs journey, and dealing with a variety of diagnoses. I have the privilege of providing a weekly online space for them to connect with other moms while they receive encouragement from the Word and each other.
  • It has helped me put my own journey into a clearer perspective as I learn about the experiences of these other moms. I’m inspired, blessed and humbled by their stories.

For anyone reading this who is considering whether you need a community, I’d say it’s so worth it. Or if you desire a community but have yet to find a special needs or caregiver community to connect with, I would say, don’t give up. I believe that the Lord recognizes our need for community—for belonging—and that He’ll help us to find one (or start one) if we ask. Here are some things to consider:

  • Look online for local groups or online forums. They abound these days, unlike when my son got sick over 20 years ago. Post-COVID, there are online opportunities for just about everything. You may have to search a little bit, but my experience proves the outcome can be well worth the effort.
  • If your child has a medical diagnosis, you can ask your child’s doctor or check local hospitals for support groups. After my son’s first kidney transplant, I briefly joined a support group for parents where post-transplant care, and the fears associated with it were discussed.
  • Even if a group doesn’t seem like a perfect fit at first, give it a try. If you end up leaving the group, at least you’ll have met some other moms or caregivers who may prove to be valuable resources or connections for the future.
  • When you find a group you like, attend. Don’t let excuses steal this opportunity to connect.

Believe me when I say we need community while parenting kids with disabilities and special needs. God has given us a great calling, and he wants to surround us with good people while we fulfill it.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email.

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Sandy and her husband of 33 years live in NJ and have 3 young adult children. She became a special needs mom, caregiver, and advocate 24 years ago, after a childhood illness left her son multiply disabled.

Sandy works now as a Certified Professional Coach with a desire is to help other special needs parents discover the powerful story that God wants to write through their family’s unique special needs journey.

Sandy is also a writer and speaker, a community group leader for other special needs moms, and a frequent podcast guest. She has just released her first book, When Dreams Are Disrupted—A Story of God’s Faithfulness.

You can learn more about Sandy, her work and her blog on her website: www.UNDisabledLIVES.org and on IG (@undisabled_lives).

Author Jolene Philo

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The Impact our Words May Have on the Children We Serve

The Impact our Words May Have on the Children We Serve

The Impact our Words May Have on the Children We Serve

The impact our words may have on the children we serve in whatever capacity—as their parents, caregivers, grandparents, teachers, neighbors, business owners, and more—often goes unseen. We know our words make a difference because we remember how the adults in our lives impacted our childhoods, for good or ill.

My fiftieth class reunion was this summer, and many of us who gathered there reminisced about our favorite teachers way back in the 1960s when we were in elementary school.

“Who was your second-grade teacher?” a former classmate asked me.

“Mrs. Eggleston,” I replied.

“I don’t remember much about being in her classroom,” he said, “but I loved being there.”

“Me too,” I agreed. “I don’t know what she did, but she made me feel seen and loved.”

Another classmate caught my eye and said, “Jolene, your mom was my third-grade teacher.”

My mom, known as Mrs. Stratton to her students, had a reputation among adults of holding high standards of behavior. Translate that into kid talk and it comes out, “Mrs. Stratton is mean.”

“Uh-oh,” I thought to myself as he came over. “This could be awkward.”

“Your mom,” he began, “was the first teacher who made me work up to my potential. What I remember most is one day when we lined up after recess. After she brought us in and we were sitting at our desks, she said, ‘I counted how many of you boys took your hats off when you entered the building. Do you know how many of you did that?’

We all shook our heads.

To read the rest of The Impact our Words May Have on the Children, visit the Key Ministry’s blog for parents.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email.

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Jolene Philo is the author of several books for the caregiving community. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. Sharing Love Abundantly with Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and Amazon. See Jane Dance!, the third book in the West River cozy mystery series, which features characters affected by disability, was released in October of 2023.

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Why Did God Make Me this Way?

Why Did God Make Me this Way?

Why Did God Make Me this Way?

“Why did God make me this way?” It’s a question our children with disabilities and special needs are bound to ask us. Guest blogger Steve Siler knew the question was coming and thought about what he would say. Read on to find out what he said and to listen to a song he wrote to express his thoughts.

“Why did God make me this way?”

I knew the question would eventually come and I’d prayed about how I would answer it. When my seven-year-old son with Spina Bifida finally asked me that question one evening as I was helping him in the bathroom I gave him the only answer I could think of that was not a lie.

“I don’t know son.”

Of course, I could’ve gone into some theological rationalization and told him all about how God was going to use his infirmity to bless others; how truthfully, in fact, he already had—as hundreds prayed for Henry for the weeks and months leading up to his birth and through the four years of surgeries that had followed.

Somehow, though, I didn’t think that would bring him much comfort.

So I decided to sit with him in the question. I decided not to minimize his pain. I decided not to explain away his disease by making it some part of a gigantic cosmic puzzle that God was working.

I’ve come to believe that we who call ourselves Christians are too quick to come up with explanations at times like these. I’ve come to believe that we do not place enough value in the ministry of presence: Our own or God’s.

To read the rest of Why Did God Make Me This Way?, visit Steve’s website, Music for the Soul.

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Steve Siler is founder and director of Music for the Soul a multi-award-winning not-for-profit ministry using songs and stories to bring the healing and hope of Jesus to people in deep pain. Siler is a Dove Award winning songwriter, music producer, author, and speaker. He is co-host of the Music for the Soul Podcast: Where Music, Hope, and Healing Come Together! He and his wife Meredith have two children and three grandchildren.

Author Jolene Philo

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