EA/TEF Awareness Month, 2014

EA/TEF Awareness Month, 2014

EA/TEF Awareness Month, 2014

January.

A month for blustery weather, New Year’s resolutions (watch for our guest blogger resolution series beginning on Monday, January 6), and EA/TEF Awareness Month. Different Dream is all about raising awareness about EA/TEF because my son was born with the anomaly way back in 1982. His repair was successful, and he’s now living his own life.

Why to Raise Awareness of EA/TEF

But EA/TEF occurs in every 3,000–5,000 births, and the families of those babies need informed support groups surrounding them. They also need the support of other families who’ve experienced what they’re going through, places to go to ask questions and read about what’s being done for kids with EA/TEF. Those kinds of groups weren’t available when our son was born, and I remember sitting in the hospital, overwhelmed by aloneness and ignorance.

Where to Find EA/TEF Support

Thanks to the internet, parents no longer have to experience that kind of loneliness and ignorance. Support groups abound on websites and Facebook. This list is a good place to start learning and connecting.

EA/TEF Awareness Month Posts from the Past

Now, to make it easier for you to find posts from previous EA/TEF Awareness Month, here’s a second list of readers’ faves:

You can find more posts about EA/TEF Awareness Month by typing that phrase into the search box.

Now It’s Your Turn to Raise EA/TEF Awareness

The best way to raise EA/TEF Awareness is to tell our stories. So if you’re a survivor of EA/TEF or the parent of a child with the condition, tell your story in the comment box. We’d all love to hear them and celebrate each life.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop-up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly with Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon. The first book in her cozy mystery series, See Jane Run!, features people with disabilities.

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Scott Newport’s Special Needs Motto? DNR

Scott Newport’s Special Needs Motto? DNR

Scott Newport’s Special Needs Motto? DNR

Guest blogger Scott Newport is the father of three kids: Chelsea, Noah, and Evan. Evan lived with Noonan’s Syndrome for seven years. Scott’s story will help you understand why Evan lived far beyond the two years life span his doctors predicted.

Scott Newport’s Special Needs Motto? DNR

Evan was a complicated kid with more than one diagnosis and a standing DNR order. For those who may not know what that represents, it is an acronym for Do Not Resuscitate. Evan’s heart was so sick the doctors told us if it ever stopped it could get very ugly trying to revive him. They left it in our hands to make a decision no parent should ever have to embrace.

Our family was back at C.S. Mott children’s hospital at the University of Michigan for a simple, surgical procedure to revise Evan’s trach site. He was ventilator-dependent requiring a small hole in his chubby neck allowing him to breathe. Our home care nurses had been having difficulties with weekly trach changes and were afraid to do the procedure alone. Penni and I learned to deal with the challenge but were not always around to help.

The morning of the procedure Evan spiked a fever and everyone soon agreed it would be impossible to continue.

“Well I guess we should just had back home,” I said during morning rounds.

The resident looked at me and said, “We need to do some tests first to make sure we know what we are battling.”

As the team shuffled out, I wondered how long we would be here. When Evan was born four years earlier at Mott and we had endured 252 days in the PICU leaving with a diagnosis of, “Children like Evan usually don’t live past the age of two.”

I immediately called my parents and a few other friends and told them the news of the canceled surgery and not to come. My next call was to Nancy, one of Evan’s cardiologists. She had always been an advocate for us and also had become a good friend. She asked me what I thought and I said, “Well you know Evan, no telling what’s going on with him but Penni and I are not too worried and hope to get out of here soon.”

Nancy told me to call her tomorrow with an update.

The next morning at rounds there was still no clear answers but Evan still had a fever, required a bit more oxygen and no one seemed to know what was going on. The wandering eyes of the medical team didn’t even have to speak for me to figure that out.

That night one of our home care nurses came up to visit us enjoying the hour it took to rock Evan asleep. As we sat in the four bed ventilator ward with other families just like ours behind pulled curtains, we discussed our desire for Evan to go home where we could take care of him. If he did end up getting really sick and looked like he may die we wanted him in our home ICU where we all felt most comfortable.

The next morning got a bit more frustrating, as by then, even the attending physician was not sure why Evan was sick and wanted to do more test. Again I brought up the going home issue but they continued to press it was impossible.

Starting to get angry I walked out of the room and called Nancy. “Hey Nancy we want to go home but no one is listening.” She then said something I will never forget and was able to use again and again for the next few years on our families behalf. She said, “Scott, tomorrow at rounds ask them this…”

Well tomorrow came and as it was my turn to speak I said, “Hey guys, what are you doing here in the hospital we couldn’t do at home?”

As you can imagine everyone looked at each other and then the attending doctor said, “Well Scott and Penni, I’m sure you guys are probably better than us at taking care of your son. Let’s see if we can’t get you discharged this afternoon.”

It was great and even our bedside nurse said she had learned something that day also and giggled as she started to do her morning work with Penni to get Evan ready to go home.

And yes, as soon as the team of residents, fellows, a respiratory therapist, social worker, charge nurse, and the attending left, I called Nancy. I could almost see her smile through the phone as I thanked her and thanked her for all she had done for our family for the past four years.  She just came back with, “You know Scott I have always thought of your family as special and will always be there for you guys.”

Remember in the beginning when I told you about Evan’s DNR status? Well, our family has our own definition for that acronym. In fact the day after we had to sign that order, when Evan was about eleven months old, I took a piece of paper of paper toweling (also know as hospital stationary) and a blue marker from the nurses’ station. Then I had this acronym posted on his PICU glass door for all who entered our world:

Do
Not
Retreat

Not everyone who passed that sign back then got it, but almost all of them, if I asked today, would agree the sign was a good thing, making us better partners with patients and families.

Has your child been hospitalized? During that stay, did you employ Scott’s DNR acronym? If so, leave a comment about how you

Did
Not
Retreat

in the box below.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop-up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Scott Newport is a carpenter who has a vision for unwanted, damaged wood. His finds are treasures to his soul. Each discovery he makes unfolds into a beautiful piece of furniture for which he finds a home, usually with a child or caregiver of a child with special needs. He writes about the life lessons he learns from his 3 children, especially from Evan who died in November of 2009 after 7 years of joyful life. To access all of Scott’s guest posts, click on the magnifying glass at the top of the page and type “Scott Newport” in the search box.

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Special Needs Invitation: Come Touch His Cheek

Special Needs Invitation: Come Touch His Cheek

Special Needs Invitation: Come Touch His Cheek

Special needs are perceived differently by different people. Those who don’t know any children with special needs may see their conditions or perceived limitations as a burden. But many families who live with those who have special needs see their loved ones as a gift. Today, guest blogger Gary Shulman shares a poem he wrote to draw the two groups closer together. This poem comes with a tissue warning!

Come Touch His Cheek

This child of mine you stare at so,
Please come closer so you will know
Just who my child is and what I see
when those sweet eyes stare back at me
I see no limits to my child’s life
Although I know
It will be filled with strife,
I’m hoping that doors will open each day
I’m praying that kindness
will come his way
You look frightened?
You tremble with fear?
Come, come closer
touch him my dear
Touch his cheek so soft
so sweet
Be one of those people
he needs to meet
Someone who will look
and hopefully see
The skill, the talent
The ability
Please come closer
You don’t have to speak
Come a little closer
Just touch his cheek
And when you do
you will see
this sweet, sweet child
is no different
than you or me

Your Thoughts?

What do you think of Gary’s poem? What potential do you see shining in your child’s eyes? Leave a comment.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Gary Shulman, MS. Ed. was the Program Director of Social Services, Training Coordinator, and Special Camp Fair Coordinator for Resources for Children with Special Needs, Inc. for over 24 years. He recently transitioned from that position to the role of consultant/trainer on a private basis. Gary’s passion is bringing relief to families of children with disabilities as well as to the professionals who support them. His workshops are informational and inspirational. Through an interactive format, participants are taken on a journey of discovery. They learn about programs and services that make life easier when caring for a child with a disability and are motivated to think about their needs, wants, wishes and dreams and to move to realize them.

Author Jolene Philo

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Special Needs Grocery Shopping & Delivery Service

Special Needs Grocery Shopping & Delivery Service

Special Needs Grocery Shopping & Delivery Service

A grocery shopping and delivery service for special needs families. Talk about an example of identifying a need and filling it in the Chicago area. But wait, there’s more!

Grocery Delivery Done by Young Man with Special Needs

The young man who delivers the groceries also lives with his own special needs. He experiences autism, and his mother came up with the idea of creating the grocery shopping service to provide meaningful work in line with his abilities and interests.

Special Needs Home Run

This story is one of those where a picture video is worth a thousand words, so here it is:

Thanks to the Chicago Tribune for the video record of this ultimate example of a win, win in the special needs community.

Other Special Needs Services or Employment Opportunities?

Do you know of other “homegrown” services for families caring for loved ones with special needs? Or of innovative employment opportunities for adults with special needs? Give them a shout out in the comment box below.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop-up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

Photo credit: www.freedigitalphotos.net

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Jolene Philo is the author of several books for the caregiving community. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and Amazon. See Jane Sing!, the second book in the West River cozy mystery series, which features characters affected by disability, was released in November of 2022.

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Self-Advocacy for Kids with Special Needs

Self-Advocacy for Kids with Special Needs

Self-Advocacy for Kids with Special Needs

Self-advocacy in kids with special needs is a skill parents need to foster. But we often overlook doing so for several reasons. We’re in the habit of advocating for them. Our identity is wrapped up in our advocacy efforts and it’s hard to release that bit of ourselves. We’re worried they won’t be able to advocate effectively on their own.

Self-Advocacy: How to Teach It to Kids

An article at Chicago Parent by Liz DeCarlo addresses the issue head on. She interviewed Leanne Roth, director of employment and advocacy for SouthStar who said, “It gives them the power to have some control over their lives, with support and to the best of their ability….Everyone involved has grown more independent and that’s because of what we do in self-advocacy.”

Self-Advocacy: 5 Tips to Foster It In Children with Special Needs

Roth offers these 5 tips to foster self-advocacy in kids with special needs:

  1. Listen to your kids when they tell you what they want to do.
  2. Ask why your child wants to do what he or she wants to do.
  3. Give them responsibility. Ask questions like “How can I help you” and “What are you doing about this?” instead of automatically taking over and doing things for them.
  4. Start small. Gradually release responsibility to them instead of all at once.
  5. Be prepared for bumps. Realize that everything won’t work perfectly the first time. Be ready to try it again.

To read the entire article which provides a lot of practical examples and advice, go to Teaching Kids with Special Needs to Self-Advocate.

How Do You Foster Self-Advocacy in Your Kids?

Are you teaching your child to self-advocate? Do you have more tips than those listed above? Leave a comment to share your good ideas with the rest of us.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop-up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

Photo Credit: www.freedigitalphotos.net

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Jolene Philo is the author of several books for the caregiving community. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and Amazon. See Jane Sing!, the second book in the West River cozy mystery series, which features characters affected by disability, was released in November of 2022.

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Advocacy, Special Needs Style

Advocacy, Special Needs Style

Advocacy, Special Needs Style

Advocacy is part of the job description for parents of kids with special needs. But how do we advocate effectively for our kids when we’re busy caring for them? How do we spread the news about the needs of our families?

Advocacy 101 Workshop

Earlier this summer, I attended an Advocacy 101 workshop at the National Foster Parent Association National Conference. The workshop presenter, David Sharp, encouraged parents to advocate right where they live. Though his audience was foster parents, the ideas he offered are good for all parents of kids with special needs.

Advocacy: 6 Ways to Be More Effective

Sharp gave several tips to increase the effectiveness of parent advocates who want to increase awareness amongst the general public. Here they are:

  1. Be motivated. This is the most important thing. If you as a parent aren’t motivated, why would anyone else be?
  2. Choose doable strategies that send the most effective message. Simple is better than complicated.
  3. Be persistent! Keep at it. Advocacy takes time.
  4. Join an organization of parents. You appear more credible when you’re speaking on behalf of other kids, too.
  5. Send mail, fax, and email to spread your message. Urge recipients of the alert to send it to their networks, boards, staff, coalitions, volunteers, and media contacts.
  6. Speak to community groups, statewide conferences, neighborhood associations, civic groups, service clubs. Raise awareness by telling everyone who will listen that you are the parent of a child with special needs.

Advocacy for Your Child: How Do You Do It?

How do you advocate for your child by raising awareness about kids with special needs? What advice would you offer to other parents who want to advocate? Leave a comment.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop-up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

Photo credit: www.freedigitalphotos.net

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Jolene Philo is the author of several books for the caregiving community. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and Amazon. See Jane Sing!, the second book in the West River cozy mystery series, which features characters affected by disability, was released in November of 2022.

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