Resolving Past Trauma from the Inside Out Through Therapy

by jphilo | Dec 15, 2016 | Different Dream, In Parents, PTSD

Resolving Past Trauma from the Inside Out Through Therapy

Welcome to the final post in the Inside Out Special Needs Parenting series. The purpose of the series has been to equip parents to recognize and resolve their own past traumas so they can parent their children effectively. The previous article in this series, Resolving Past Trauma from the Inside Out Through Self-Understanding provided parents with resources they can use to process past traumas.

Sometimes, parents need a professional to help with accessing and resolving past trauma. Thankfully, several new treatments for trauma have recently been developed and tested and have been proven to be very effective. Effective treatments have one thing in common. They rely on more than talk to access and process past events. Here are a few promising therapies linked to more information about each one.

Each of these methods is explained in greater detail in Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology and How You Can Heal by Donna Jackshon Nakazawa. It’s an informative and interesting read. Another book that provides the most thorough summary of the history of trauma treatment and reviews each treatment method in great detail is The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk. And here’s a final reminder about the book that led to the inside out parenting series–Parenting from the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive by Daniel Seigel and Mary Hartzell.

Checking out these resources and resolving past trauma through therapy may seem like a daunting task. But remember, your primary motivation for doing the work is to raise kids who thrive. But as you work to make life better for them, the self-understanding you gain will make your life better, too.

Inside Out Special Needs Parenting, Part 1
Inside Out Special Needs Parenting, Part 2
Inside Out Special Needs Parenting, Part 3
Inside Out Special Needs Parenting, Part 4
Inside Out Special Needs Parenting, Part 5
Inside Out Special Needs Parenting, Part 6
Inside Out Special Needs Parenting, Part 7
Inside Out Special Needs Parenting, Part 8

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Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon.

Author Jolene Philo

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PTSD and Nursing Moms

Photo Credit: tungphoto at www.freedigitalphotos.net

Hello, Different Dream readers! Welcome to a guest post from my good friends and fellow PTSD advocates, Shelly Beach and Wanda Sanchez. This post about PTSD and nursing mothers first appeared at their blog, PTSD Perspectives. It addresses many issues of importance to the special needs community, so I was delighted when Beach and Sanchez gave permission to repost it here.

PTSD and Nursing Moms

Most expectant and new mothers envision nursing to be the ultimate bonding experience with their child. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. Sadly, post-traumatic stress disorder can be a contributing factor, and women may not be aware of the cause-and-effect relationship in order to be able to best address their frustrations. I recently spoke to several young mothers who talked candidly about how trauma influenced their ability to bond with their newborn babies. None of these women were prepared for the challenges they faced, and they basically had to figure out on their own that their post-traumatic stress had contributed to their struggles.

PTSD and Nursing Moms: NICU Trauma

One of the mothers I spoke to gave birth vaginally, and her newborn girl experienced medical complications that placed her in the neonatal intensive care unit for nearly two weeks. During this time, both Mom and baby experienced high levels of stress and anxiety, due to the separation, limited bonding time, and painful medical procedures. Because of the anxiety and separation, Mom’s lactation diminished, and her attempts to maintain her milk supply were frustrating. After taking her little girl home from the hospital after a highly stressful two-week stay, Mom attempted nursing for two more weeks, but her child struggled to latch and preferred a bottle. At four weeks, Mom gave up and was overwhelmed with guilt at her “failure.” Two years later, Baby #2 came along, and Mom struggled with anxiety at the thought of nursing. Her stress made it difficult for her to relax enough for her milk to let down when she attempted to nurse, and after a week, she decided that bottle feeding would be the best choice for Baby.

PTSD and Nursing Moms : Previous Trauma

A second mother I spoke two had experienced multiple sexual assaults as a teenager. In her mid-twenties she married a supportive, loving husband, and several years later she gave birth to their first child. However, “Sue” was guilt-ridden and heartbroken to discover that nursing her child was a trauma trigger. For weeks she struggled to be a “good” mom and breast-feed her child but found that the only way she could successfully nurse her child was to dissociate. A desire to be a “good” mom like other moms drove her to continue nursing for months, even though she felt it was affecting her ability to bond with her baby. When “Sue’s” second child was born, she made the decision to bottle feed. She told me that she has never regretted that choice and wished she ‘d had a better understanding of how PTSD could influence a woman’s nursing experience before she’d given birth to her first child.

PTSD and Nursing Moms: How to Find Help

Twenty-five percent of women experience sexual abuse in their lifetime–many before the birth of their first child. It’s important for women to know how their trauma experiences may influence aspects of their lives so they can make the best choices for their circumstances. If you or someone you know can relate to the challenges of nursing your child because of a prior trauma experience:

Talk to a trauma specialists who can offer you suggestions about how to process your experience.
Accept the simple truth that breast feeding does not define good mothering.
Find other mothers who bottle fed their kids to lean on for support.
Release the false guilt.
Talk about your situation with someone who will understand and support you.
Seek out treatment or support if you’re experiencing depression.

More PTSD Perspectives

Did PTSD impact your ability to nurse your babies? How did you deal with the situation? Leave a comment, if you like, in the box below. To learn more about the work Shelly and Wanda do, visit their website, PTSD Perspectives.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Shelly Beach is an award-winning author of eight books, including The Silent Seduction of Self Talk. She has written with a Pulitzer Prize Finalist and New York Times best-selling authors, as well as providing writing and consulting services for a producer of a recently-launched Lifetime television reality series. Shelly is the co-founder of two writers’ conferences and an adjunct professor at Cornerstone University. She is also a sexual abuse survivor who speaks to medical and mental health professionals at conferences, seminars, and in the nation’s prisons. Shelly is also an “expert” consultant for Caring.com, the Internet’s most frequently consulted site on caregiving issues. Shelly can be reached at Shelly@PTSDPerspectives.org or www.ShellyBeachOnline.com.

By Wanda Sanchez

Wanda Sanchez is the executive producer of one of the nation’s top talk shows in a highly-ranked California market. She has worked with the world’s top political leaders, as well as Hollywood personalities, New York Times best-selling authors, and top-ranked cultural analysts. She has also worked as a television producer and is the founder and president of her own publicity firm, representing authors and speakers. A sexual abuse survivor who has experienced a journey of dramatic healing from post-traumatic stress disorder, Wanda speaks to medical and mental health professionals in conferences, seminars, as well as to women in the nation’s prisons. She can be reached at Wanda@PTSDPerspectives.org.