Special Needs Parenting: From Coping to Thriving Giveaway

Special Needs Parenting: From Coping to Thriving Giveaway

by | Mar 16, 2015 | Books and Resources, Different Dream, Spiritual Support

Special Needs Parenting CoverDr. Lorna Bradley is the mother of an adult son with Asperger syndrome.and she’s an ordained deacon in the United Methodist Church. If that short description rings a bell, perhaps you read her Different Dream guest post about beauty in brokenness. Now she’s combined her personal and professional expertise to write an invaluable new book for parents of kids with special needs. I’m excited about how much this book will help families, the book and am eager to tell you more about it.

Special Needs Parenting: From Coping to Thriving Addresses Issues

Special Needs Parenting: From Coping to Thriving addresses many spiritual questions parents ask when their children are diagnosed with special needs. It discusses difficult issues like dealing with grief and guilt with compassion and candor. And it also offers practical advice to makes life easier for parents. A sneak peek at the table of contents to see what it covers:

  1. God and Special Needs
  2. Understanding Chronic Grief
  3. Breaking Free from Guilt
  4. Tools to Increase Patience
  5. Self-care for Caregivers
  6. Building Healthy Relationships
  7. Hope and Healing

Appendix
Notes for Small Group Leaders
Blessing of the Parents Liturgy
Resource List
Self-care Inventory
About the Author

As you can see, Special Needs Parenting: From Coping to Thriving has something for every parent of a child with special needs. Each chapter ends with a list of questions for personal reflection, prayer helps, and Scripture references. The questions can also be used for small group discussion, which makes Bradley’s book a natural for Bible study or support groups.

To read the rest of this post and enter the give away, please visit Down the Gravel Road’s sister site at DifferentDream.com.

Cabin Fever Encouragement with a Special Need Twist

Cabin Fever Encouragement with a Special Need Twist

by | Feb 6, 2014 | Books and Resources, Different Dream, Spiritual Support

Cabin Fever Encouragement with a Special Need Twist

Ah, February. The month of cold temps, snowy sidewalks, and sick kids. Perfect conditions for a raging case of cabin fever, made all the more virulent by the added challenges of parenting kids with special needs. Also perfect conditions to take out and dust off an encouragement series written by Jennifer Janes a few months back.

Meet Encouragement Maven, Jennifer Janes

Jennifer is mom to two girls and a former public school teacher. She’s been blogging about special needs parenting since the birth of her second daughter who has multiple special needs and about homeschooling since she started teaching her daughters. Here’s what she says about her special needs parenting journey:

As the parent of a child with special needs, I have logged countless hours in waiting rooms, specialist offices, and therapy facilities. I have learned to advocate for my child with medical professionals, church staff, and well-meaning (and not so well-meaning) people in public. I know almost as much about my daughter’s medical, neurodevelopmental, and learning issues as many of the professionals we work with to treat them.

Encouragement with a Special Needs Twist

Can you relate to that? If your answer is yes, you’ll love the ten part encouragement series Janes wrote and published in October of 2013 for parents of kids with special needs. Why’s the series so long? Because each post encouraged readers by focusing on one of the fruits of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5:22-23…

  1. Love
  2. Joy
  3. Peace
  4. Patience
  5. Kindness
  6. Goodness
  7. Faithfulness
  8. Gentleness
  9. Self-Control

…with one final post to wrap up the series. To read the series in order, start with Encouragement for Parents of Kids with Special Needs – Day 1: Love. At the bottom of that post, you’ll find links to the rest of the series.

Did the Encouragement Series Cure Your Cabin Fever?

If Jennifer’s series cured your cabin fever, or relieved it just a little, tell us about it in the comment box. Or share your insights about how parenting your child with special needs has cultivated the fruits of the Spirit in you. Thanks!

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

Photo Credit: www.freedigitalphotos.net

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Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly with Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon. The first book in her cozy mystery series, See Jane Run!, features people with disabilities and will be released in June of 2022.

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Teaching Kids With Special Needs about Salvation

Teaching Kids With Special Needs about Salvation

by | Nov 20, 2013 | Books and Resources, Different Dream, Spiritual Support

Teaching Kids With Special Needs about Salvation

Welcome back, guest blogger Amy Stout! Amy’s here with another resource-packed post. This time, she has a basketful of resources parents can use to teach their children about salvation.

I was recently asked this question…

“I have a friend who is trying to teach her daughter about faith. She has been in church all her life and has lots of head knowledge, but the heart is not giving so easily. How can I help my friend?” While not a professional counselor, I had just experienced a scenario similar to this in my own home, so I was able to share my own living example.

Here is my reply…

Dear Friend,

The truth that comforts me when working with my daughter is that no matter how hard we try, we cannot “save” someone. God gave us free will and salvation is a gift that we each have the opportunity to accept. This is comforting because I know that God loves children and he is working very hard to draw my daughter to him.

God DOES, however, give us teachable moments.

Many times our special children are visual learners and spiritual truths are very hard for them to understand because many times they are abstract concepts. We need to give them visual pictures of spiritual truths. An example of a teachable moment…

Yesterday, I was brushing my daughter’s hair and she was starting to get grumpy. I started to talk to her. My conversation with her went something like this. “Oh Kylie, Don’t be grumpy. You need to keep your heart clean—do you know why? Because someday, when you give your heart to Jesus, He will come and live in your heart!”

I continued, “Do you know what makes your heart dirty? When we are grumpy, or unkind, or don’t share with our friends. All those things make our hearts dirty, but you know what? When Jesus comes to live in our hearts, he brings a big broom and sweeps all that dirt away and washes us clean!! You want your heart to be clean don’t you?”

broom

Broom

And on it went. I also explained to her that the more we fill our hearts with the things of Jesus (his words, talking and singing to him, obeying God’s rules), the less room there is for that icky dirt and we lose our desire to be yucky. We will WANT to be clean.

I would try to give your young friend visual images of the spiritual truths you are trying to convey. Lay it all out there but make it HER choice whether to pick them up or not. Many times when a child feels pushed into something, their natural tendency is to withdraw. We don’t “need” to push—God will do all the work. This is the beauty of salvation by faith —no effort required, just His grace fully given.

Also, sometimes it is hard to “tell” with a child who learns differently if there is heart knowledge… don’t be so sure she doesn’t have any… just continually disciple her by giving her visual pictures, object lessons and don’t push… bake together, paint together, talk about God’s creation, the attributes of God and the goodness of God, but don’t push.

The objects shown in the pictures embedded in this post would be very helpful to give a visual picture of how we “dirty” our heart and how Jesus will “clean” it. Click on the links to find out how to obtain them. I also love the following pictorial objects to explain to children who God is.

poster_small

Father’s Love Letter to His Child

These next two pictures go together. You can click and drag them to your desktop and then print them out.

Comic 1

Comic 2

Love,
Amy

What Would You Add to Amy’s Letter?

Have you found resources to explain salvation to kids with special needs? If you like, add them to Amy’s letter to her friend by sharing them in the comment box.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop-up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Amy Stout is a wife, mother, and free-lance writer. You can visit her website at His Treasured Princess.

Author Jolene Philo

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Special Needs Memoir: Sun Shine Down

Special Needs Memoir: Sun Shine Down

by | Oct 18, 2013 | Books and Resources, Different Dream, Spiritual Support

Special Needs Memoir: Sun Shine Down

Gillian Marchenko, author of the recently published memoir Sun Shine Down and former Different Dream guest blogger, is with us today. She writes about her new book, about where she and Polly are today, and about the importance of noticing growth …

On Growth

It’s a sunny Sunday afternoon. My youngest daughter Evangeline (adopted from Ukraine in 2009, and who has Down syndrome and Autism) swings in the adaptive swing while her Papa dutifully pushes her back and forth. Elaina and Zoya, our two older girls, with adult-like bodies but childlike hearts, swoop and slide on the monkey bars. I shadow Polly, who also happens to have Down syndrome, to make sure she doesn’t get hurt, to help her if she asks.

An elevated Chicago train rumbles above us along the perimeter of the park. I turn to watch it push forward for a moment. The sun blinds my eyes. I look down at my shoes.

My head raises and I glance around for Polly, who seized the opportunity to rush to another activity while her mom is momentarily preoccupied.

“Polly, where are you?” I call.

“Over here, Mom. I’m here.”

“Where?”

I turn around where I stand. I don’t see her.

“Here.”

Her voice calls from above. The knotted rope ladder to my right shakes and I catch sight of my daughter’s blue and green Velcro tennis shoes commanding the ropes as she scurries up.

I had no idea she could climb like that, sure-footed, easily, without any help, on weaving ropes that bend and rock as she moves.

Polly is seven years old

Her diagnosis of Down syndrome picked up my world and threw it against a brick wall. In my memoir, Sun Shine Down (published with T. S. Poetry Press in August), I talk about how, for about a year, I stayed drippy, unglued, apart, so very sad about the presence of an extra chromosome in my child, and so very, very frightened of the future.

I was as weak as a mom as Polly was as a new baby. Her infant body resembled a bag of brown sugar. For months, her arms and legs flopped around. She was unable to hold her head up for a long time.

As was I.

But Polly and I both have grown important muscles over the last seven years. Her: muscles to stand, and then run, and jump, and climb a knotted rope ladder. And me: muscles to love without fear, to trust God, to advocate for my daughter, and beyond all else, enjoy the crap out of her.

Polly’s growth astounds me. She works hard to acquire new skills. She makes friends with anyone who comes into her sight. She cracks one-liners, causing our whole family to burst our britches with laughter, and she continues to teach me about what is really worth paying attention to in life.

I am blessed to be Polly’s mother. There have been hard times, and there will be more, but I plan to follow the footsteps of my daughter. To take a step when it is difficult, to work until I am sure-footed and able to chase after whatever God puts in front of me, and to make sure there is enough time in my days to appreciate growth in my family and in myself.

Have You Read Sun Shine Down?

Have you read Gillian’s new book? What did you think of it? Leave a comment below.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Gillian Marchenko is an author and national speaker who lives in Chicago with her husband Sergei and four daughters. She writes and speaks about parenting kids with Down syndrome, faith, depression, imperfection, and adoption. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Chicago Parent, Thriving Family, Gifted for Leadership, Literary Mama, Today’s Christian Woman, MomSense Magazine, Charlottesville Family, EFCA Today, and the Tri-City Record.
Gillian says the world is full of people who seem to have it all together. She speaks for the rest of us.

Connect with Gillian on her website www.gillianmarchenko.com, on Facebook, and Twitter.

Author Jolene Philo

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Infant Loss and Miscarriage: Teske Drake Offers Hope

Infant Loss and Miscarriage: Teske Drake Offers Hope

by | Oct 18, 2012 | Books and Resources, Different Dream, Spiritual Support

Infant Loss and Miscarriage: Teske Drake Offers Hope

Infant loss and miscarriage may seem like an unusual topic to address on a special needs parenting website. But many of these infants are diagnosed with special needs in utero. Teske Drake, author of Hope for Today, Promises for Tomorrow: Finding Light Beyond the Shadow of Miscarriage or Infant Loss is one of those parents.

Infant Loss and Teske Drake

Teske and her husband are parents of five children, two who live on this earth and three who live in heaven. Throughout the deaths of her daughter at birth and a daughter and son through miscarriage, God led Teske on her grief journey. Along the way, she met other mommies dealing with similar losses. Then, she and a friend created a local support group for grieving moms. Next, they created a website, www.mommieswithhope.com (editor’s note 2024: now defunct). Finally, she wrote Hope for Today, Promises for Tomorrow, released by Kregel Publishing, to reach even more families affected by infant loss and miscarriage.

Infant Loss and Hope for Today

Tesse quietly unfolds her personal story and offers hope to struggling parents, especially moms. Chapter by chapter, she encourages grieving families by exploring these promises of God:

  • The promise of His love
  • The promise of His goodness
  • The promise of His purpose
  • The promise of comfort
  • The promise of peace
  • The promise of refinement
  • The promise of restoration
  • The promise of hope
  • The promise of eternity

The book ends with stories of how other parents found hope after the loss of an infant or unborn child. It also recounts the history of Mommies with Hope support groups and provides contact information for those interested in starting new groups. Hope for Today’s Promises is a resource parents who have lost infants, churches and grief support groups need on their shelves.

Infant Loss and You

If you have experienced the loss of an infant, I am so sorry. I invite you to share your child’s name and story below.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop-up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Jolene Philo is the author of several books for the caregiving community. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. Sharing Love Abundantly with Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and Amazon. See Jane Dance!, the third book in the West River cozy mystery series, which features characters affected by disability, was released in October of 2023.

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Medically Fragile Children: Practical Parenting Help

Medically Fragile Children: Practical Parenting Help

by | Oct 10, 2012 | Books and Resources, Different Dream, Spiritual Support

Medically Fragile Children: Practical Parenting Help

Medically fragile children need parents with a unique set of skills. Because these skills aren’t taught in parenting classes or addressed in parenting books, dads and moms with children who have critical medical needs are forced to scramble to find resources while they’re still coming to terms with an unexpected diagnosis. My book, Different Dream Parenting, has several chapters about parenting kids with medical special needs, but a new book by Margaret Meder deals exclusively with this subset of medically fragile special needs children.

Meet Margaret Meder

Margaret Meder and her husband Randy are parents to Jonathan and Evan. Evan, their second child, was diagnosed with Apert syndrome shortly after his birth in June of 2004. Their newborn spent 4 weeks in NICU and was hospitalized numerous other times because of respiratory issues and corrective surgeries. Margaret looked for books to help her family on their parenting journey but found none. Once her son’s health stabilized several years later, she wrote a book to share what she learned with other families in similar situations.

Check Out Margaret’s Book

Margaret’s book about parenting kids who are medically fragile is called Uncommon Beauty: Crisis Parenting from Day One. It contains over 100 tips covering diverse topics such as dealing with insurance companies, setting up a schedule, advocating for your child, and staying positive. Each tip includes current information and an excerpt from Meder’s journal when Evan was very young. The juxtaposition of past and present shows Margaret’s initial identification of new problems and how she found solutions.

Her advice provides practical examples, as one about how to prepare for the arrival of paramedics and an ambulance shows. Meder suggests creating a vital information sheet – long before a crisis, of course. A five bullet point list outlines what the sheet should contain. On the same page, Meder explains what to pack in an emergency visit backpack and how to tailor the contents to your child’s specific medical condition.

Advice About Medically Fragile Children

Meder’s book is a valuable resource to parents of kids who are medically fragile, and I recommend it. You might also like to visit her website, www.uncommonbeauty-crisisparenting.com. But before you go visit Margaret’s site, perhaps you would like to share a tip or two you’ve discovered as the parent of a child who is medically fragile. If so, leave a comment below.

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop-up box and the second at the bottom of this page.

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Jolene Philo is the author of several books for the caregiving community. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. Sharing Love Abundantly with Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and Amazon. See Jane Dance!, the third book in the West River cozy mystery series, which features characters affected by disability, was released in October of 2023.

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