by jphilo | Jun 25, 2013 | Top Ten Tuesday
Ever since the economy tanked in 2008, I’ve been on a personal crusade to improve the job market. One obstacle remains before my lofty goal can be implemented. What’s the obstacle? I need to become independently wealthy so I can afford to provide employment for the 10 job seekers:
10. Driver: This position will be the last one filled as I like to drive, at least in Iowa where the traffic isn’t bad. It wouldn’t be on the list at all, except for Driving Miss Daisy being one of my favorite movies.
9. Personal Editor: This job goes to a single-minded grammarian/word count Nazi. The employee who gets this job will apply spit and polish to book manuscripts, emails, blog posts, social networking status updates, and old-fashioned cards and thank you notes.
8. Stuff Sorter: A position perfect for a slightly obsessive compulsive adult ready to apply the “when in doubt, throw it out” standard to the stuff in my closets and the remaining stuff inherited when my mom and Hiram’s mom gave up housekeeping.
7. Personal Shopper: Only those who loves to shop for groceries, household items, and clothes should apply for this post. The nature of the job requires someone of my weight, height, build, shoe size, and tightwad tendencies as yours truly. Send an email with your measurements, and I’ll get back to you if you’re in the running.
6. Pool Guy: This job shouldn’t even be on the list since we don’t have a pool. But on hot, muggy summer days, what could be better than relaxing by the pool? As long as a pool guy like Burt on Raising Hope is around to keep things ship shape and hilarious.
5. Cleaning Person: Our cleaning woman had to quit a few months back. She is dearly missed.
4. Gardener: Whoever gets this post will be in charge of weeding the flowerbeds, tending the rhubarb patch, and killing off any spray stalks of asparagus that invade the yard. This worker will not be allowed to use the top ten reasons to not weed a flower bed or add items in the comment section of that post.
3. Personal Travel Assistant: This position goes to someone to score the cheapest price possible when making travel arrangements, is able to keep those arrangements in order for someone who gets a little dingy when traveling, willingly carries bags for the boss, and will volunteer for the full body scan in place of the boss at airport security.
2. Full Time Computer Genius: In this case, genius is a relative term. Someone who can take over the computer stuff that drives me crazy–which is pretty much all of it–and doesn’t snicker about the boss’s ineptitude is an ideal candidate for the job.
1. Personal Barista: The barista will be required to brew the perfect cup of coffee every time, on demand. Those who have not perfected their craft by working at Burgies, the best coffee shop in the world, need not apply.
If you would like to join my effort to improve the job market, your monetary donations to help me become independently wealthy would be appreciated. You can also assist the cause by leaving descriptions of jobs open at your house in the comment box.
by jphilo | Jun 18, 2013 | Top Ten Tuesday
10. Summer feels like a series of weeks when playing hookey from school is perfectly okay.
9. Walking by the city swimming pool in the morning and smelling the chlorine.
8. Road trips.
7. Leaving coats and jackets in the closet for weeks on end.
6. Watermelon.
5. Sleeping with the windows open at night.
4. Waking up early to the eastern sky already lightening with the dawn.
3. Birdsong.
2. Hanging clothes on the line which allows me to a) save electricity, b) feel virtuous about doing it, c) make the laundry smell wonderful, and d) work on my tan all at the same time.
1. Enjoy the fruits (see strawberry photo above) and veggies that come in our weekly CSA share on Tuesdays.
What do you like best about summer? Leave a comment.
by jphilo | Jun 11, 2013 | Top Ten Tuesday
George of George’s Greek Cafe
Photo Source
Last Tuesday I flew to Long Beach to conduct a workshop at the National Foster and Adoptive Care Conference. This Tuesday, my mind is finally free of jet lag mush and able to come up with these ten reflections.
10. Skinny pants still don’t look good on anyone…with the possible exception of the ultra-marathon-runner-in-training who zipped past as I walked down Ocean Boulevard.
9. To the young teens who sat in the row ahead of me during the flight from LAX to Denver: your excitement about flying for the first time, especially when the plane broke through the cloud barrier, made everyone around you smile. Thanks so much for the reminder of the joy of simple things.
8. In DC, most taxis are sedate, black sedans. In LA, they’re two-tone neon green and yellow subcompacts. Enough said.
7. What is proper etiquette for fastening you Super Shuttle seat belt when certain portions of your large seatmate’s torso are obscuring the clasp mechanism?
6. Running through an airport to make a connection isn’t nearly as glamorous in person as it appears to be in the movies.
5. At the Denver airport, one of the cart drivers has a unique way of making his presence known. Instead of honking a horn or yelling, he whistles like a bird. Every chirp brought the outdoors inside and made people smile.
4. Kinko’s self-serve copy machines are really easy to run. I didn’t have to ask for help. Not even once.
3. To everyone who didn’t raise their hand when the presenter asked if anyone could help him with a computer glitch: the technological future of our country is at risk when I’m the most “MAC savvy” person in the room.
2. If you like Greek food, I recommend Georges Greek Cafe in Long Beach and several other locations. Not only is the food reasonably priced and delicious (the gyro is to die for), but also you may be personally greeted and hugged by the owner, George. It’s a truly California moment.
1. Kuddos and blessings to the foster and adoptive parents who I met at the conference. You are doing amazing work, caring for disenfranchised children whose lives depend on your compassion and kindness. I was honored to meet you and hear your stories!
by jphilo | Jun 4, 2013 | Top Ten Tuesday
Weeding flowerbeds rates right up there with root canals, stubbing toes, cleaning toilets, and dusting in terms of things not to do. Over the years, I’ve amassed a small arsenal of excuses to avoid weeding in every kind of weather.. These ten Goldilocksian reasons are guaranteed to persuade the reluctant gardener why to not go outside and pull weeds.
10. It’s too wet. This excuse has come in handy often this spring.
9. It’s too dry. From June 2012 through the rest of last year, this one worked like a charm.
8. It’s too cold. Also a good excuse this spring. It worked whenever #10 failed.
7. It’s too hot. Hang onto this one until July and August when big guns are needed.
6. It’s too windy. As in, “It’s so windy weeds or dirt might get in my eyes.”
5. It’s too still. And without a breeze, heat exhaustion can sneak up on a person.
4. It’s too buggy. Probably because it’s too still outside.
3. It’s too cloudy. Which is depressing and weeding the flowerbed is already depressing enough.
2. It’s too sunny. In which case, it’s important to stay inside and avoid getting a sunburn.
1. The weather is absolutely perfect. And who wants to waste a perfect day with something as mundane as weeding flowers?
Does weeding rank high on your what not to do list? Leave a comment with your best reason to not weed.
by jphilo | May 28, 2013 | Top Ten Tuesday
The prediction of thunderstorms throughout the weekend proved 100% accurate. It rained all day Saturday, started again Sunday afternoon, and finished with windy flourish Monday morning. But the weather didn’t rain on our family parade as these 10 good things about a rainy Memorial Day Weekend show.
10. Any remaining drought worries were washed away.
9. The family rhubarb supply is secure for several more weeks.
8. This morning’s wind provided a free tree trimming. (See photo above)
7. We discovered that barbecue baby back ribs are as delicious slow-baked in the oven as on the grill.
6. Morning rain on the roof feels so homey…especially when all your chicks are home and under that roof for the weekend.
5. Rainy days mean board games. Hooray!
4. No one wishes they were outside enjoying good weather rather than indoors sorting family pictures and documents according to plan.
3. A rainstorm is a good reason to drink another cup of coffee at Panera’s before going to put flowers on graves.
2. Rain-soaked earth makes pushing plastic flower stems in the dirt in front of family graves a very easy task.
1. The weather makes a person more thankful than ever for the soldiers who braved all sorts of weather to ensure freedom for the citizens of our country.
Do you have something to add to the list? Leave a comment!
by jphilo | May 14, 2013 | Top Ten Tuesday
Please say I’m not the only person who can think of a host of reasons not to clean the house. Here’s my latest list of reasons to leave the cleaning supplies in the closet and do something else:
10. The house will just get dirty again. Funny, that one never worked with Mom, but I’m a sucker for it every time.
9. I’d rather cook than clean.You can replace the underlined word with what you’d rather do than clean. Don’t overthink it. Just let the answer come to you.
8. The house doesn’t look dirty. At night. When the lights are out. And the drapes are closed, along with my eyes.
7. My allergies are acting up. And if they aren’t, I’ll invent some.
6. The man of steel is not picky about how the house work. To paraphrase Monk, the OCD detective, this lack of motivation is a blessing…and a curse.
5. The weather’s too nice to be cooped up inside. Plus, everyone’s outside, so who’s gonna notice the mess?
4. No one wears white gloves anymore. Man, I hated that commercial. Who gave those white-gloved ladies permission to march into houses and run their gloved fingers along the top of somebody’s door molding, anyway? Talk about an invasion of privacy.
3. I volunteered to host Book Club at the last minute. I love it when that happens. No time to clean.
2. The kids won’t be here until Memorial Day. And if the house is clean if the house is too clean, they won’t recognize it.
1. I have a book deadline to meet. True, the deadline isn’t until September 1, but a person can never start using an excuse as good as this one too early.
What are your best excuses to not clean the house? Leave a comment so everyone can add to their stash.
