by jphilo | May 18, 2016 | Different Dream, How-Tos, Special Needs Parenting
Travel and Kids With Special Needs, Part 1
School will soon be out for the year, and that means the summer travel season will soon be here. Guest blogger, Kathy Kuhl, is a mom with first hand experience traveling with challenging children. She dropped by Different Dream to offer advice about how to change our attitudes to make summer travel and kids with special needs easier. She’ll be back in a few weeks with more suggestions for parents.
Travel and Kids with Special Needs, Part 1
A young businesswoman walked by me at San Diego airport. She turned, looked at the baby in my arms, smiled, and said, “She’s absolutely perfect.”
I thanked her, but felt compelled to say, “She cried all the way from New York.”
“She’s beautiful,” the woman repeated and walked on.
Why do we dwell on the worst parts of travel with kids? How can we have better attitudes?
Travel with children can be tough. Even if your car runs fine, if everyone stays healthy, if you don’t miss any flights or lose that beloved teddy bear, it is stressful. Kids miss their routine. They tire more easily.
How can we enjoy travel with challenging children?
1. Give thanks for our children.
As New Orleans’ Saints tight end Benjamin Watson wrote, when we travel with our kids, we forget to be thankful. After he and his wife got their four kids under seven through TSA and onto a plane, Watson admitted that he was “a bit perturbed that his kids were acting like… kids.”
For us with children with special needs, it’s harder. Our kids may have sensory issues that make it hard to cope with noise and unfamiliar sensations. Because our son with AD/HD couldn’t tolerate long drives, we rarely drove more than three hours a day. How much more complex travel can be for those managing mobility issues.
Food sensitivities complicate travel, too. We plan and pack extra. But if your child needs protein, or gluten-free, or amine-free, and you’ve run out, what do you do?
It took a stranger to remind Benjamin Watson that his kids are a blessing. A flight attendant told him it was “so great to see a big family,” explaining that he and his wife were childless after twenty years. Ouch.
Yes, our children are blessings to thank God for.
2. Give thanks for safe travel.
On some horrible days, our children may behave like heavily disguised blessings. But we cringe at the thought of them getting hurt. Safe travel is a blessing we usually take for granted.
My recent trip to West Africa pointed this out. Our buses broke down three times in 260 miles and 110 degrees. We were thankful for shade while waiting, for water, and for arriving, finally. Instead of saying “Bienvenue”—“welcome”—the West Africans say “Bonne arrivée!” literally, “Good arrival!” Arriving is good.
3. Recognize who’s in charge.
Travel with kids shows us we aren’t really in charge. Though we plan carefully, things go awry. Travel exposes our limitations. I forget things and I don’t plan perfectly. Travel also exposes the limits of our power and character. Mommy can’t always make it better. Will I remember not to snap at my husband and nag my kids? Will I remember that God is in charge, and be content? Will I trust he will work everything out for good?
In the next post in this series, I’ll look at more ways to make your travel easier with challenging children.
Travel and Kids with Special Needs, Part 2
Your Thoughts About Travel and Kids with Special Needs
What are your best tips about travel and kids with special needs? Leave them in the comment box. And come back in a few weeks for the final post in this series.
Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.
Kathy Kuhl is the author of Encouraging Your Child, Staying Sane as You Homeschool, and Homeschooling Your Struggling Learner. She advises parents to help them teach exceptional children at home. Visit her website and blog at Learndifferently.com.
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by jphilo | Nov 13, 2015 | Family
For those of you who don’t live in fly over country, this Fantastic Friday post explains what you are missing.
You know how jet setters dismiss the land between the east and west coasts as fly-over country? They scoff at what they consider a wasteland of cornfields, a vast expanse where nothing worthwhile happens, nothing of consequence is produced, no one of importance lives. Well, I love living in fly-over country, no matter what the jet setters think of it. But, the past week exposed an unexpected truth.
We live a fly-over life.
A midweek visit to my son and new daughter was void of the hoopla that characterized much of the last two years: no illness, thus no dramatic health cures; no happy announcements, thus no need to plan big celebrations; no crises, thus no anxiety-racked discussions. Instead, in our time together we talked about jobs, exchanged recipes, played with the dog, and went to bed by 9:00 PM.
Pleasant, but boring.
A perusal of our weekend activities confirms life’s fly-over status. I made cookies for upcoming church events and cleaned some drawers in the kitchen – without burning a single cookie or pinching myself with kitchen utensils. Hiram reinstalled the sink in the upstairs bathroom without cracking the porcelain or ruining the newly laid tile. We comparison shopped for a new refrigerator, washer, and dryer – and found what we needed for less than expected.
Appreciated, but boring.
A phone call to our daughter and new son was uneventful. She’s keeping up in school and making progress with her online, custom sewing business; no need for me to swoop in and chair a planning pow wow. He likes his job; no need for encouraging words to buck him up. They’re looking ahead to next year, hunting online for an apartment near the campus they’ve move to next August; no need for parental reminders to think about the future.
Reassuring, but boring.
I live a beyond-the-excitement, happily-ever-after, fly-over existence made possible by the exciting lives of others:
Pilgrims
American revolutionaries
hardy pioneers
abolitionists and Civil War soldiers
WWI doughboys
survivors of the Great Depression
Tom Brokaw’s greatest generation
war veterans
my Alaskan homesteader in-laws years
my courageous and determined parents
Because of them, Hiram I will spend a quiet, fly-over Thanksgiving with our daughter and new son in their tiny, college apartment. We’ll talk about work, exchange recipes, do a few odd jobs, and be in bed by 9:00 PM.
I am exceeding grateful for those who made possible this boring, fly-over life. You?
by jphilo | Nov 10, 2015 | Top Ten Tuesday
The Man of Steel is back on his feet, and I’ve begun therapy for my hand. Here are a few final reflections on the double whammy of gimpocity we recently experienced.
10. Having no one in the house who can drive is a problem.
9. Having one driver, who is also a nursing mom, in the house with 1 baby and 2 gimpy adults is not a problem. However, it is a challenge that requires creativity and determination.
8. A back that moves without pain should never be taken for granted.
7. Ditto for having 2 opposable thumbs.
6. Hand therapists spend their evenings thinking ways to inflict pain on people careless enough to sever the tendon to a thumb with a kitchen knife.
5. The painful exercises hand therapists inflict upon people careless enough to sever the tendon to a thumb with a kitchen knife also engender healing at lightning speed.
4. Thumb therapy exercises every 2 hours pretty much consume a person’s day.
3. Pie makes gimpocity tolerable.
2. So does good coffee.
1. Babies make everything more tolerable.
What makes hard times tolerable for you? Leave a comment.
by jphilo | Jun 9, 2015 | Top Ten Tuesday
Life’s been rough at our house lately. So I’m fighting discouragement and a tendency to dwell on what’s wrong in my world by giving thanks for the small and good blessings that are part of each day.
10. The weather’s been so pleasant, we’ve hardly needed to turn on the AC.
9. The propane company sent a letter saying our bill will go down over $100 in September.
8. At this moment, the weeds are pulled and the housework is done.
7. The herb garden provided fresh parsley, basil, and cilantro for several meals this week.
6. Our first CSA produce pick up is today.
5. But the CSA strawberries started early so we feasted our way through 2 delectable quarts…and I took some down to Mom last week, too.
4. Revisions on my mystery novel are moving along and the escape therapy is just what the doctor ordered.
3. The Man of Steel and I will take Mom to a family reunion in Minnesota this coming weekend. She will complain during the whole trip and then thoroughly enjoy being queen for a day in the presence of her nieces and nephews.
2. My daughter held the phone close to our 2-month-old grandson’s mouth so we could hear him coo. Happy tears!
1. In the last week, God arranged encounters with 2 dear friends and a sister who understand my current struggles and the time spent with them was soothing balm to the soul.
What blessings are you thankful for this week?
by jphilo | May 26, 2015 | Top Ten Tuesday
At the beginning of last Tuesday’s post, I explained the reasons behind that day’s list of ten woman who changed my life. Today, the exercise continues and concludes with a list of ten men who also impacted my life. My hope is that what you read will prompt you to do something similar and discover many, many reasons to be thankful for the people who touched your life in profound ways.
10. Gene Ulrich, a college science professor family friend when my sibs and I were quite young. He had a way of relating to us as children that made us feel secure, valued, and interesting. Years later, he became a middle school teacher and was one of 4 finalists for NEA National Teacher of the Year. His interactions with us taught me how to relate to children.
9. Tim Trudeau, the pastor of our local church who constantly exhorts us to read, to learn, to be curious, to become experts in something, and to delve into Scripture and mine it for the jewels waiting to be found in it. Because of him, I continue to be a life long learner.
8. Dory Little, pastor of the church we began attending in 1985 when we moved to Boone. He was the first expository preacher I had ever heard. The impact of his belief in the power of Scripture and his willingness to test and approve it using reason and logic showed me that Christians don’t have to check their brains in at the door.
7. Tom Balm was the pastor of the church my family attended during my childhood. He was a creative, funny man who marched to his own drummer. He also visited my father almost weekly, and they would laugh together until they were both crying. Through his example, I learned humor can be healing and faithful friends do not forget invalids and shut ins.
6. Harry Thompson was the pastor at the church my parents attended during college. A couple decades later, he and his wife retired and moved down the street from us. He “adopted” our family, helping us kids with 4-H projects and visiting Dad nearly every day. My life was changed by his steadying presence in our home. One day, when it’s time for me to quit driving, I hope to follow his dignified example by turning in my driver’s license out of concern for others on the road.
5. Mr. Frerichs, an extraordinary and precise high school senior composition teacher at Le Mars Community High School, who provided a strong foundation concerning the mechanics of writing. What he taught his students–and what his students complained about every single day–I now draw upon every single day with gratitude rather than complaint.
4. Mr. Hallum, another superior high school teacher at Le Mars Community School, who turned tongue-tied, insecure high schoolers into gifted, confident speakers and actors. He also took me aside one day and said if I wanted a lead in a play, losing 20 pounds would make that much more likely. That was all the motivation one chubby sophomore needed to change her eating habits, develop a healthy lifestyle, and snag the lead in the fall play her senior year.
3. Jim Hoey, my uncle and demanding high school World Cultures teacher, who filled another bedrock role in the lives of me and my sibs. He was a father figure who did for us what Dad couldn’t. He took us swimming, camping, hunting, exploring. He took us up on top of our roof to see the view. He pushed Dad in his wheelchair up hills and across fields and carried him to the basement when the tornado siren blew. When Dad could no longer get out and about, Uncle Jim visited him several times a week. Because of Uncle Jim, I know the joy of adventure. (Jim is on the left in photo above, holding my little brother.)
2. Harlan Stratton, my dad, whose sense of humor never failed throughout his 38 year battle with multiple sclerosis and who never became bitter. From him I learned that by choosing to live well in adverse circumstances, parents can bless their children beyond measure. (Dad is on the right in the photo above.)
1. Hiram Philo, my husband, also known as the Man of Steel. From him, I have learned so much about loving unconditionally, though I don’t do it nearly as well as he does. Because of him, I was able to leave teaching to do what I do now. Thank you so much, Man of Steel!
Who’s made a difference in your life? Leave a shout out in the comment box below!
