Even though today’s our thirty-fifth anniversary, the man of steel’s feeling a little grim. He has been ever since he ruptured a disk and started losing man cards right and left.
- He lost the first card when he landed flat on his back in excruciating pain.
- He surrendered a second man card when he admitted he needed Tylenol for the pain.
- Loss #3 came when the woman of aluminum finally convinced him to rent a wheelchair.
- He lost the fourth man card by agreeing to anesthesia during back surgery.
- A flurry of cards fell when his post-op restrictions included a five pound weight limit, no driving, no twisting, and no excess bending.
- The final card hit the dirt when he had to accept the help of friends and neighbors who mowed our lawn, trimmed bushes, brought meals, and changed the dressing on his incision while I was gone for a few days.
But within a week of surgery he started to replenish his deck.
- He added a card immediately by refusing to fill any pain killer prescriptions and not taking one pill during his recovery.
- He gained another card by walking a mile on his second day post op and working up to four miles a day within a week of surgery.
- Another man card entered his deck when he spent five hours running sound at church less than two weeks after surgery.
- And at his two week post op appointment, he earned back three man cards when the driving restriction ended, the weight restriction went up to twenty pounds, and he started bending and twisting under the supervision of a physical therapist.
However, all those gains were nearly wiped out earlier today. Over the weekend, he hauled out the mower, and it wouldn’t start. He drained out the old gas and put in new. It still wouldn’t start. He cleaned the spark plug. Still no go. This morning, he bought a new spark plug. To no avail. Finally, he called the mower repair shop and asked them to pick it up.
With that, he lost almost every man card in his deck.
He’s hoping to win a few at his doctor’s appointment this morning. Maybe the you-can-start-exercising-a-lot card. Or the lift-anything-you-want card. Or best of all, the go-back-to-work-tomorrow trump card.
Things are gonna get ugly around here that doesn’t happen. But I’ve come up with the perfect solution for anybody who’s beating himself up for forgetting to send an anniversary card. You can send Hiram a man card instead!
Either that or a new mower. The perfect anniversary present for both of us!
