Our little stairway to hell’s heaven’s been a long time coming, but this week it’s one step closer to completion. The current remodeling project began with the words, “It won’t take long or cost much to replace the flooring in the stairway and the upstairs hall.”
That sentence reflects the total break from reality required to begin any remodeling project–at least at our house. Take a look a the timeline of the project thus far to get an idea of how far from reality those words were:
Late April, 2012–Hiram removes the grungy carpet from the stairs and second floor hallway in just one weekend while Jolene is gone.
Early May, 2012–We spend a few weeks reassuring one another that the stairs are in pretty good shape, in need of just a little woodwork sanding, paint, and carpet runner to look good. We need the reassurance because the hallway floor is ancient oak plank, complete with square nails. It needs new subfloor before the hardwood floor can be laid. Plus, we have to locate hardwood to match the two boxes left over from laying the living room and dining room floor 6 years ago.
Late May, 2012–Hiram blows a disk in his back. All remodeling on hold.
Late June, 2012–While recovering from back surgery, Hiram does an internet search and finds a place to order the hardwood. It costs an arm and a leg, which hardly seems fair when we’re already paying for Hiram’s new back. But since it will take 2–3 months to get here, we have time to pay off at least one body part before it arrives.
Late September, 2012–The flooring is almost forgotten as we anticipate the arrival of our first grandchild. When we remember and Hiram thinks his back is strong enough to carry boxes, he calls the store. They say the order’s been there for 3 weeks. Maybe their phone only takes incoming calls?
Late October, 2012–We forget to call the flooring guy after the arrival of our new grandchild. Since everyone will be at our house for Thanksgiving, we tell the carpenter not to come until after Thanksgiving.
Late November, 2012–The carpenter calls. He’s a hunter. He can’t come until the weekend before Christmas.
Weekend before Christmas, 2012–The carpenter gets half the floor laid. It’s the weekend of Camp Dorothy. Mom’s nap is quite interrupted. She is not amused. But she doesn’t complain. Much.
Weekend before New Year, 2012–Floor is completed. It looks great. All that remains is to complete our stairway to hell heaven is sanding and painting woodwork, picking out and installing a carpet runner. We try to reassure one another that the work’ll be quick, easy, and inexpensive.
Sigh.
