After a week of wedding company, Hiram and I took only a day to adjust to having the house to ourselves again. So imagine our surprise this morning when we discovered an unexpected guest on our doorstep.
I mean that literally. When I went to shut the French door in the dining room, which I’d opened earlier to let in some fresh air, a chubby, warty toad graced our doorstep, frantically trying to reach the patio. His original plan to spring out the joint was a no go, since he had neither the weight or momentum to bust through the screen door. Now and then he hopped up high enough to cling to the screen, a la Garfield the cat, and hang suspended. Highly entertaining for us, but Mr. Toad didn’t laugh.
We should have expected the warty visitor. Toads have been especially abundant this summer. I’ve shooed a fair number of toads out of the screened porch and garage. Even before the wedding crowd arrived, the yard’s been awash with other wanna be house guests – a bat or two in the attic, some small critter using the screened in porch as an outhouse, a muskrat under the porch, and wasps in the garage. Yesterday twin fawns decided the coast was clear, escaped from their mother, and gamboled about our quiet yard for several minutes. Then Mom arrived and put an end to their fun, leading them to the woods where they disappeared.
But back to the toad hanging on the screen door. I was not happy to see him as I’m done hostessing for the time being. And how do you show a toad hospitality anyway? Are they big on small talk? Where do they like to sleep? Do they use hand towels? Remember to flush? What do they eat? I have no answers to these questions and don’t want to do the research.
Finally, we showed the little fella some mercy and opened the screen door so he could hop free. He didn’t move. Finally, Hiram gave him a little toe nudge and our house guest ran, er, hopped for the hills. Of course we don’t have hills, just a gently slopping brick patio, but “hopped for the hills” sounds so much more dramatic and uses alliteration, so I couldn’t resist.
Hopefully Mr. Toad will spread the word.
This house is no fun.
The party’s over.
The food is bad.
And wedding crowd, if you had a good time here and plan on coming back some day, please keep your mouths shut about the weekend fun.
Especially around toads.
