Ant season has arrived, so the Man of Steel and I are employing several creative methods to get rid of our unwelcome guests.
Ant season has arrived, and quicker than I can put on sun screen and leave for the pool, the ants are marching in and setting up housekeeping. Not just in the kitchen, but in the laundry room and the bathroom, too.
The day before I left for a writing conference last week, I dealt with the squatters by committing insecticide on a massive scale. I squirted Terro ant poison on little bits of cardboard, like a chain of delicious and deadly truck stops, strategically placed on the little ant highways they had constructed on our floor.
As the package directions predicted, traffic on the ant highway increased exponentially until the ants carried the poison back to their nests and unwittingly killed off the entire colony. Which happened, the Man of Steel informed me Saturday when I arrived home, the day after I left for the conference.
While I was gone, however, a new colony of ants discovered the kitchen counter. The Man of Steel was loathe to decorate the counter with poison and tried a different tactic. Namely, he killed off the invaders and left the dead bodies scattered hither and yon on the counter all night. The modern day version of the medieval practice of beheading law breakers and displaying their severed, grisly orbs on pikes in the village square.
Creative thinking on the Man of Steel’s part, but it didn’t phase the house invaders. At all. So yesterday, Anty Em’s Truck Stop opened to rave reviews from ravenous travelers speedily carrying word of the new establishment, along with teeny-tiny doggy bags, to friends and family. As attractive as word of mouth advertising is, the truck stop is not aiming for repeat customers.
For those of you who had been thinking of stopping by for a visit, please don’t let the contents of this post stop you. Just call before you come so we can shoo Anty Em to the cellar and clean up the village square in time for your arrival. Thank you, and we appreciate your patronage.
