by jphilo | Jun 23, 2015 | Uncategorized
For some reasons, plastic garbage bags played integral and unique roles at the Cedar Falls Writers’ Workshops last week. They led to to this top ten list of ways to use the crinkly things.
10. Plastic grocery bags make wonderful trash can lines. Even better than the paper bags they replaced since they are waterproof. Unless they have holes in them.
9. Stick a couple in a packed suitcase for a dirty clothes bag.
8. Or stick shoes in them to protect clothes from dirt and pet doo-doo stuck on the soles.
7. In honor of Iowa’s senator, Joni Ernst, use them as boot liners to keep shoes dry.
6. After cutting flowers to send home with someone, wrap the stems with wet paper towels. Then wrap the paper towels in grocery bags so the car doesn’t get wet on the way home.
5. They can be used in place of bread bags to make padded hangers like the ones Grandma Josie gave her grandkids when they set up housekeeping.
4. Plastic grocery bags make highly effective asphyxiation chambers for those gross, horned tomato worms that are death to BLTs.
3. Wad them up and use them to pad packages. This use comes compliments of my mother-in-law.
2. After you mistake the trash can containing plastic grocery bags, in the cabin where you are staying during a writers’ conference, for the real garbage can and throw coffee grounds on the entire grocery bag stash and ruin them all, you have a humorous story to tell at the beginning of the teaching session you are leading. You can also bond with the audience by begging them to donate bags so you can replenish the cabin’s stash.
1. In the absence of an umbrella, a grocery bag makes a stunning rain hat. Much more tasteful than the embarrassing ones worn by grandmothers in previous generations.
What creative uses do you have for plastic grocery bags? Share them in the comment box.
by jphilo | Jun 21, 2013 | Out and About
The Cedar Falls Christian Writers’ Conference is underway at the Riverview Conference Center. I may be away from home, but I’m not homesick for a couple reasons.
First, in a former life Riverview belonged to the old Evangelical United Brethren (EUB) denomination where EUB rugrats like me went to church camp every summer. Those were golden weeks of childhood, so coming here is like coming home.
Second, Cedar Falls is about 60 miles north of where I live. So the late spring that ended last week in my neck of the woods is still underway. Which means some of my favorite flowers that are fading back home are in full bloom here. Things like:
and more roses.
Peonies,
daisies, and coral bells.
So far, no CSA with fresh strawberries,
but I’m dealing with that.
What makes you feel at home wherever you are? Leave a comment.
by jphilo | Jun 18, 2012 | Out and About
Today’s post was supposed to be a summary of the Cedar Falls Writers’ Conference – the conference I arrived at a day late, once Hiram was out of the hospital and safely ensconced at home – last week.
I planned to talk about the importance-of-editing-and-proofreading discussion encouraged partly by the How to Be Your Editor’s BFF workshop I presented Thursday and partly by an advertisement one of the conference attendees found. The ad touted a pizza joint by describing one of their menu offerings as “topped with barbequed white children.” (Either the ad meant to say “chicken” instead of “children” or some Iowa pizza joint is giving Fanny Flagg’s Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe some serious competition in the “it’s all in the barbeque” category.)
But my plan to pass along that humorous anecdote, and many others, was thwarted by two unforeseen events.
- Camp Dorothy went into action Saturday afternoon through Sunday evening due to an unexpected weekend trip by my brother and his family.
- A pregnant friend (with 3 other children and a husband on a business trip until Wednesday) was diagnosed with mild pre-eclampsia and is on modified bedrest.
Therefore, my weekend was busy running Camp Dorothy, with no Wheel of Fortune due to the U.S. Open Golf Tournament, which put someone’s nose out of joint. Today I’m taking my friend’s three kids to the pool (the ultimate sacrifice on a hot, sunny day) and delivering supper to them.
So there’s just not time to tell you about the aspiring writers at the conference.
Or about several people who’ve been published since the last conference.
Or about how pleasant it is to teach people who know how to share,
who don’t need reminders to keep their hands and feet to themselves,
and who always say please and thank you.
There’s no time because Camp Dorothy put me a little behind on the weekend’s work. And today, instead of dedicating the entire day to writing, I’m busy digging out my swim suit, beach towel, and sunglasses. And the sunscreen. My yes, the sunscreen for me and the three little ones, too. Lots of sunscreen. Cause there’s no way I’ll deliver three barbequed white children to my friend’s house for supper.
That just wouldn’t be write right.
by jphilo | Jan 15, 2010 | Daily Life
My mom always said some things are worth waiting for, and she was right – even when the wait lasts six years. Since I left teaching in June of 2003 to pursue writing and speaking, I prayed for a writers’ group in my area. I longed for a group of committed writers, people who wanted to share writing and provide honest feedback.
I even helped start a group. A few of us limped along, meeting when we could to encourage one another for a few years. But the timing wasn’t right for the other women who attended. Almost all were teachers with kids still in school, which translates as “very busy.” Though they all had a passion for writing, their days didn’t have enough hours, and one by one they faded away.
The first hints of a second chance glimmered in June of 2008. Author Laurie Sargent and I met at the Cedar Falls Christian Writers’ Conference. She was one of the speakers and had recently moved to a town near where I live. She also was interested in joining a writers’ group. For a year and a half, we were a group of two, meeting in our homes to brainstorm, encourage, and critique one another.
Then in May of 2009, I met fellow Iowan Melissa Tagg at the Colorado Christian Writers’ Conference. Wouldn’t you know it, she was interested in a critique group, too? And she lived less than an hour away from Laurie and me. Before summer ended the three of us met to discuss logistics. By then, writers were coming out of the woodwork, eager to join a writers’ group.
Since September, about eight of us have met monthly to share writing goals and to critique one another’s work. The accountability is a great motivator for achieving goals. The writing feedback sometimes feels like being told your beautiful baby isn’t as perfect and sparkling as you believed. But, every suggestion for improvement comes couched in encouragement and sprinkled with fresh ideas impossible to generate when writing alone..
Each month, I’m stretched in new, not-always-comfortable ways and leave a better writer. I receive more than I contribute and grow more than I thought possible. So thanks to Heidi, Sue, Laurie, Melissa, Elizabeth, Mary Beth, and Clare for being the long-awaited answer to my prayers.
May God grant me the grace to be the same to each of you.
