I was in California for a conference about mental health and the church over the weekend. The conference was excellent, and the trip was quick. But I observed enough differences between tiny Iowa and big California to make a new top ten list to augment one created way back in 2009.

10.  When it’s above 60 degrees in March,  Iowans smile, go all giddy, and wear shorts. Californians look bored and put on jackets.

9.    California towns teem with cars, SUVs, buses, and taxis. Iowa towns teem with fox, possums, coons, deer, and enough vehicles to give the critters a run for their money.

8.    March temperatures in California are in the 60s and 70s. March temperatures in Iowa can be in the 60s and 70s. They can also be below zero, below freezing, and beyond human endurance.

7.    Iowa has a restaurant chain called Pizza Ranch. California has a restaurant chain called Souplantation.

6.   California children’s ministry programs have themes like The Reef, complete with aquariums stocked with real fish. My little Iowa church’s children’s ministry program doesn’t have a theme, though the nursery is decorated like a barnyard. Complete with Fisher Price farm animals.

5.   At a California conference, when  visiting speaker from Omaha makes a joke about Germans and Lutherans not being big support group joiners, the Californians don’t laugh. But, the lone Iowan in the crowd snorts through her nose.

4.   California churches have gas fireplaces all over the courtyard outside their worship center. Iowans don’t have outdoor church courtyards. To compensate German, Scandinavian, and Lutheran church goers lean snow shovels against the outside wall of the church’s front entrance in winter.

3.   In California tables and chairs are artistically arranged in outdoor courtyards all year long. In Iowa tables and chairs huddle under tents in back yards in vain attempts to dodge rain and bugs for two hours in May during high school graduation parties.

2.   In California, fancy end tables and leather sofas grace church courtyards and beckon worshipers to sit and visit after services. In Iowa, sofas in outdoor venues mean only one thing: trailer trash.

1.   In California, friends eat lunch at outdoor restaurants beside the ocean. In Iowa, friends eat lunch in the basement of an old livery stable. In both places, friends make the heart glad.

What would you add to the list? Leave a comment.