Laurie Wallin Says Your Weirdness is Wonderful

Posted on March 7, 2014 by jphilo

Who is Laurie Wallin?

I’m so glad you asked! She’s a writer friend and also the parent of a child with special needs. Until her writing career went into high gear last year, she was a regular guest blogger at www.DifferentDream.com, my special needs parenting website.

Laurie’s first book, Why Your Weirdness Is Wonderful, will be released by Abingdon Press on March 18. (The paperback and Kindle versions are available for pre-order on Amazon now.) I interviewed Laurie about why she wrote a book encouraging women to view the quirky things they don’t always like about themselves as the way God designed them. Here’s what she had to say.

When did the idea that our individual quirks–those personal weirdnesses that drive us crazy sometimes–are part of who God created us to be?

The pivotal moment was while reading a colleague’s blog post. She shared how frustrated she was with her tendency to overthink things, and how she prayed God would make her different. I was mad! Not at her, but at the situation. . . that clearly gifted people spent so much time lamenting how they are. And how easy a strategy that would be for Satan to use to keep us distracted from living well. If we’re fighting who we are most of the time, we’re missing out on the reflection of God’s image that is trying to show through us. I commented on this post, asking what if God made you that way because something about that tendency reflects something about Him, rather than it being a flaw? We went back and forth about the idea for a few comments, and ultimately, she said, “You need to write a post about this.” I did, it went viral, and the rest, as they say, is history!

Why do you think it’s important for women to see their weirdness as wonderful?

Women, in particular, have this fog of expectation clouding our view of ourselves and each other. The more I studied personal strengths, the more I noticed that:

the things that annoy me in other people are them living their strengths and either me not appreciating them in the situation, or them not living them in a loving way; and
the things that annoyed me about myself suffered from the same two issues.

So I started asking myself “What strength is she trying to live right now?” when I sensed jealousy or frustration or judgment creeping up with a friend. You know what happened? Where I used to feel insecure, I started noticing a desire to see the good in others and celebrating—affirming—the God-glimpses I saw in them. As a woman, to be able to feel secure in the face of others is a HUGE change to what we often experience. It makes us allies, supporters of each other, champions of what God’s doing in each others’ lives, instead of defenders of what we think is insufficient in ourselves.

In the book you talk about the dark sides and positive sides of our quirks. Could you give a few examples for readers?

As a Star Wars fan, I’ve always related to the whole Dark Side, Light Side (or, as I call it in the book, Life Side) idea. God invests tendencies in us, and we either love Him and others with them (reveal their Life Sides) or we live from fear (Dark Sides). The most common struggle strengths I hear about from people are tendencies to overthink things, be too sensitive, worry too much, argue too much, or be controlling. There are a lot of possible strengths hiding in these Dark Sides, and maybe they come from different strengths in different situations. For example, overthinking can be the Dark Side of being analytical, an achiever, someone who is contextual and sees connections between anything done or said now, and what it will effect. It’s not an exact science, but the important thing is to allow the question—to stop fighting who we are long enough to let God show us what is possible in us right then.

Can you pinpoint a quirk of your own that you now appreciate, even though it once drove you crazy?

Mine is the need to make a difference and matter to people. Anyone who knows anything about Christian beliefs will see pride all over that. For years, I fought God, asking Him why I need to be involved in projects that are high profile and far-reaching. It was a sore spot and something I wanted to hide about myself for years. When I started writing this book, I had to sit down and face my big-scary-strength/weakness. God brought to mind projects I’d taken on over the years that nobody else wanted or would touch. Yes, I wanted to be the one at the mic at retreats. But I also was the one who saw a need in my then-classroom and hunted down grants, applied for them, and pulled in thousands of dollars of funding and 20 computers for my science program. I’m a big thinking gal, and in God’s hands it can bring big good. In mine, of course, it’s prideful and annoying. The job every day for me is to listen to His voice and only go after the big fish He leads me to pursue, the way He’s leading me to do it!

How can women embrace their weirdness? Where should they start?

First, we have to decide to suspend judgment about our natural tendencies. This one trips a lot of people up. They’re scared that if they do that, they’re dropping their moral standards. But that’s not what I’m saying. I’m asking people to stop assuming they understand God’s design in the ways they’ve always thought, acted and reacted in life. His thoughts are higher than ours, after all, right? So step one is to notice when we’re making ourselves feel bad about some way we are, like when we use negative words to describe ourselves (overthinker, worry wart, impatient, lazy. . .) and stop right then to chat with God about it. To say, “What natural desire or strength of mine is wanting to come out right now? How would YOU reveal that trait, God?” Then, let God tell you what He thinks. And keep eyes open to see His answers to the questions unfold in life and relationships.

How do you suggest women maximize their quirks to build God’s kingdom?

The more we listen to what God meant when He designed us the way He did—quirks and all—the more we let God reveal His heart for the world around us. The more we’re attuned to the unique ways God designed us to think, communicate, plan, care and relate with others, the more people are drawn to Him, and the kingdom grows.

How can they maintain a balanced perspective about quirks and weirdnesses?

Our weirdness—our blend of strengths and their quirky upside down versions—stays balanced when we focus it on loving God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, and loving other people as ourselves. The Greatest Commandment is our great balancer in this tightrope walk of living our weirdness wonderfully.

Where can people connect with you and buy your book?

Come visit me and check out more about the book at http://bit.ly/WeirdWonderful, or stop by my facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/LivingPowerLifeCoaching

Anything else you’d like to mention?

I certainly hope you’ll grab a copy of my book and allow me to walk this road with you, but whether you buy my book or not, you owe it to yourself to learn more about your strengths. Whether it’s Gallup’s StrengthsFinder program, the Meyers-Briggs assessment, or Gary Chapman’s Love Languages assessment. . . find out who God designed when He made you. Because if you’re not being all God designed you to be, there’s a hole in the world that nobody else can or will ever fill.

Three Thoughts for Thursday

Posted on March 6, 2014 by jphilo

Can you imagine how long the mnemonic device will be to replace My Very Energetic Mother Just Served Noodles now that NASA names the 715 new planets it just discovered?
The Man of Steel and his brother were the first Caucasian twins born in Alaska’s Matanuska Valley way back in 1956. Thanks to the Winter of 2014, we can pretend we’re back in the Valley this Saturday when we celebrate the anniversary of that momentous event
Speaking of hard winters, my Minnesota sib sent the above chart about the top ten worst winters, temperature-wise. A day or two later, the winter of 2013-14 moved up a notch thanks to the Polar Vortex’s latest visit. My mom still talks about the Winter of 1935-36 . I still talk about the Winter of 1981-82, the very cold winter when I was pregnant with our first child. Now my kids can join the conversation thanks to the Winter of 2013-14. A new family tradition is born!

What winter stories does your family tell? Leave a comment.

Baked Chicken with Mustard and Maple Syrup

Posted on March 5, 2014 by jphilo

Every month, a newsletter from The Baker’s Pantry* arrives in my inbox. Their January newsletter featured the recipe for “The World’s Best Chicken.” Quite a claim, and I was a bit skeptical. But, the dish was dairy-free and combined some interesting ingredients, so I gave it a try.

The man of steel and I didn’t think it quite lived up to it’s name, though it was very good. Good enough to try again this summer. Maybe fresh rosemary from my herb garden instead of dried tarragon (I was out of rosemary) will elevate the dish to “World’s Best Chicken” status. Stay tuned for that announcement come June or July!

Baked Chicken with Mustard and Maple Syrup

2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1/4 cup Dijon mustard
2 tablespoons maple syrup
1 1/2 teaspoon red wine vinegar
Salt & pepper
Fresh rosemary

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. In a small bowl, whisk together mustard, syrup, and vinegar.

Place chicken breasts into a baking dish. Season with salt & lots of pepper. Pour mustard mixture over chicken. Make sure each breast is coated. Add more pepper if you like.

Bake for 30-40 minutes, or until meat thermometer reads 165 degrees. Season with fresh rosemary and serve.

I halved amounts make the dish for two. The recipe above is the halved recipe.

*The Baker’s Pantry is an old-fashioned family-owned country store in Dallas Center, Iowa. It sells Amish, organic, and other premium quality foods purchased in bulk and repackaged. I stop by every few months to stock up on coarse ground wheat flour, bulk aluminum-free baking powder, and bulk and whole spices I can’t find anywhere else.

Top Ten Things About My Dad

Posted on March 4, 2014 by jphilo

10. He gave rabbit kisses. No way to describe them. You had to be there.

9. When I was home sick from school, laying on the couch, he would park his wheelchair beside me, and we would watch Captain Kangaroo together. He laughed as hard as I did.

8. Having Dad close by in his wheelchair made me feel safe.

7. He picked Mom’s birthday and Christmas gifts carefully. He looked through the newspaper ads and phoned the store to quiz the clerk for a long time about whatever gift he wanted to buy. Once he made his decision, he arranged to have the gift delivered when Mom was at work.

6. Dad loved to play cards with friends, but he didn’t play to win. He played to talk.

5. He was never, ever a picky eater. He ate with gusto whatever was served and always complimented the cook.

4. Dad never allowed discussions about politics to become cut throat. His most barbed political statement referred to his right arm, severely weakened by multiple sclerosis: It’s my Republican arm. Not good for much of anything.

3. His thousand-watt smile and sense of humor.

2. He was always happy to see people. Always.

1. Dad rarely showed bitterness during his 38 year battle with multiple sclerosis. He was 29 when it was diagnosed, 31 when he required a wheelchair and retired, 54 when he entered a nursing home, and 67 when he died. I am so grateful for his example, his influence, and the years his life intersected mine.

Oh, Dad, I miss you!

In memory of Harlan John Stratton: May 11, 1928–March 4, 1997.

Thank You, C. J. Gauger

Posted on March 3, 2014 by jphilo

Thank you.

Two words I wanted to say to C. J. Gauger face-to-face at his 100th birthday Saturday. But a snowstorm and frigid temperatures thwarted my plans. So today’s post is devoted to thanking a man who touched my parents and their young family in profound and positive ways.

Thank you…

for taking an interest in Harlan Stratton, my dad, in the mid-1950s when he was hired as Youth Extension Director in Plymouth County and later as Mills County Extension Director. Thank you for mentoring him and taking an interest in his wife and kids.

Thank you…

for observing a stumble in Dad’s gait as he walked away from you after at a 4-H function and telling a co-worker, “Something’s wrong with Harlan. We need to be ready to stand beside him and support his family.”

Thank you…

for acting upon those words after Dad was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1959–for calculating exactly how many days, minus vacation and sick days, he needed to work to reach the five year mark and qualify for a Civil Service pension.

Thank you…

for arranging for Dad’s Extension Office co-workers to pick him up for work once he couldn’t drive, to complete his paperwork once he couldn’t write, to read to him when his vision blurred, until Dad reached the five year mark.

Thank you…

for a pension that allowed my parents to buy a house built for a wheelchair, something they couldn’t afford to do on Mom’s teaching salary and in the absence of Social Security, which Dad didn’t receive until 1990 when he was 62.

Thank you…

for a pension, from which Mom gave Dad $40 as spending money every month. Not much, even in the 1960s and 70s, but enough to allow him to purchase birthday and Christmas presents for his wife, take his family out to supper now and then, and maintain his dignity.

Thank you…

for collecting money to purchase a small life insurance policy for Dad to provide something for Mom and her three small children…just in case. When Dad died in 1997, Mom and us kids were surprised to learn about the policy. Since we didn’t need it, we used it to start the Harlan Stratton 4-H Scholarship given annually at Iowa State University.

Thank you…

for the small pension Mom still receives as Dad’s beneficiary. It’s only $211 a month, and she doesn’t really need it. So she donates part of it to the scholarship fund and spends the rest on college text books for her grandchildren.

Thank you…

for calling some years ago, after reading a newspaper article that connected me to Dad. Thank you for confessing, over the phone, the extent of your kind involvement on behalf of our family when my siblings and I were very young, when Mom was vulnerable and in need of hope.

Thank you…

for showing how a small thread of kindness weaves goodness into the fabric of a family for decades and generations until its members are strong enough and grateful enough to weave kindness into the lives of others.

Thank you…

and happy birthday, C. J. Gauger, one of the great men I have ever known.

Amazing Feats of Love

Posted on February 28, 2014 by jphilo

The night is almost gone, and the day is near.
Therefore, let us lay aside the deeds of darkness
and put on the armor of light.
Romans 13:12

Like many people around the world, my husband and I spent much of February watching the Sochi Olympics. We marveled as ski jumpers flew through the air at terrifying speeds, as snow boarders slid down pipes and up inclines, twisting in the air and somehow managing to land upright. We commented on the speed skaters’ massive thigh muscles and on the courage (or foolhardiness) of the luge teams. We watched amazed as figure skaters launched into jumps from impossible positions and completed soaring turns before gracefully landing on a thin, metal skate blade and glided away. Both of our jaws dropped when Julia Lipnitskaia, the young Russian skater, executed a dizzyingly fast spin on one leg while holding her other leg straight up about 4 inches from her face. “How can she keep skating after twisting her body like that?” we asked.

The answer is discipline. Months and years and decades of discipline, combined with the natural talent, was what landed Julia and the other Olympic athletes at the games. Not only discipline to practice their sports every day, but also discipline to eat right, get enough sleep, to fall down and get back up, to encourage and to be encouraged by other athletes.

What motivated them to commit themselves to such rigorous and not always pleasant discipline? The answer is simple. They knew the winter Olympics were scheduled for February 7–23, 2014, and they wanted to be there when the big day arrived.

In Romans, Paul urges believers to apply similar discipline to accomplish the seemingly impossible feat of loving others as we love ourselves. Love others, Paul says, because the night is almost gone, and the day is near. The day of Christ’s returning when this earth will be replaced by new heavens and a new earth, in which righteousness dwells. (2 Peter 3:13)

But why did Paul choose Christ’s coming as motivation for believers to love others? Because the two are closely linked. Because the watching world wants to see if the love we proclaim plays out in our lives. Because when we practice what we preach, Christ uses our love to bring lost hearts to faith in him.

Earlier this year, our small, local church brainstormed ways to reach out and love our community. We voted for our favorites. Now we’re praying about the results to decide how to love our town. Performing the amazing acts of love we select will require discipline. We’ll need to practice. We’ll need to feed on Scripture to seek God’s will. We’ll need to encourage one another to get back up when we fall down.

Our motivation will be the same means Paul used spur on the Romans. It’s the same motivation that spurred believers throughout the centuries to perform amazing feats of love on behalf of the watching world. The night is gone and the day is near. Our motivation is a desire born of love for Christ and the people in our town. We want them to be ready to joyously and expectantly welcome Christ, when the big day arrives.

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Three Aged Thoughts for Thursday

Posted on February 27, 2014 by jphilo

Winnie the Pooh made his first appearance 90 years ago this month. You can hear his creator, A. A. Milne read the beginning of a Pooh tale at this NPR link.
Florida resident Joe Newman is running for Congress at age 101. Why now? Because, Newman said, when he watched children get off the bus after school he worries about what kind of world we’re leaving for them.
Maria, the last of the Von Trapp children, died at age 99. I wonder what her favorite Sound of Music song was. Mine’s “The Lonely Goatherd.” Yours?

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Non-Dairy Lemon Scones

Posted on February 26, 2014 by jphilo

I. Love. Scones.

Probably because they make me feel so pip-pip, Downton Abbey, tip-top, jolly good, old chap and all that. Consequently, favorite scone recipe and numerous variations have been featured before on this blog. But creating a decadently delicious dairy-free scone proved illusive. But finally, thanks to my daughter’s suggestion to replace the butter with coconut oil and a splash of vinegar in Coffee Rich creamer, the quest was successful. Here’s the recipe for lemon scones, my absolute favorite.

Non-Dairy Lemon Scones

4–5 tablespoons Coffee Rich Creamer                   1 1/2 teaspoons vineagar
1 3/4 cups flour                                                     2 tablespoons sugar
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder                            1/2 teaspoon salt
5 tablespoons coconut oil                                     1 egg, beaten
2 teaspoons lemon zest                                         the juice of half a lemon

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.* Put vinegar into a measuring cup and add Coffee Rich Creamer to the 1/4 cup mark. Set aside to curdle.

Mix together dry ingredients. Cut in coconut oil. Add lemon zest. Add egg, lemon juice enough curdled Coffee Rich for the dough to form a ball. (Less liquid is better than more. If more liquid is needed, add a little more uncurdled Coffee Rich.) Shape dough into a circle about 1 inch thick on a greased cookie sheet. Cut circle into 12 wedges. Pull every other wedge a few inches out of the circle. Sprinkle with sugar. Bake 10 minutes. Serve hot.

*Scones baked on a hot oven stone are the best. Place the stone in the oven before setting the temperature.

Top Ten Things About the Last Week of February

Posted on February 25, 2014 by jphilo

10. Hopefully, it’s the perfect time to cut slips from the heritage geranium and root them in water.

9. The sun starts doing it’s morning thing around 6:30,

8. and the light doesn’t fade completely until after 6:00 in the evening,

7. because the 2–3 inches of sunlight gained daily since December 21 starts adding up this time of year.

6. Our taxes are done, and a refund’s coming.

5. The sun coming in the south kitchen window feels warmer, even when the outside temp is in the single digits.

4. The month is 3 days shorter than January, but retirement checks aren’t any smaller.

3. No matter what the ground hog indicated earlier this month, the first day of spring is only three weeks away!

2. The birds are singing again.

1. The man-of-steel’s birthday is in early March. Which means he will be older than the woman of aluminum until her birthday in July!

What do you like about the last week of February? Leave a comment!

Photo credit: KROMKRATHOG at www.freedigitalphotos.net