by jphilo | Dec 10, 2008 | Out and About
I had to get out of the motel today. It’s a Comfort Inn and lives up to its name. The 24-hour-a-day free coffee is good, the popcorn is fresh every evening, and the continental breakfast is decent. The exercise room has a treadmill I’ve been using twice a day. The place is 85 degrees and humid since the whirlpool is in the same location which lends a sauna quality to my walks, but I digress.
No matter how comfortable our Comfort Inn has been, I had to get out of there today. The walls were closing in on me. My sauna self-torture on the treadmill justified spending the morning at Panera’s and splurging on a gingerbread bagel (absolutely yummy) to go with my coffee. The first thing I did at my table was spill my coffee on the floor. Seems I’m not as good as I thought I was at juggling a computer, camera, purse and food tray while threading my way between crowded tables. But no one got wet, and those Panera people are darned cheerful about cleaning up messes.
So today I want to plug Panera’s. In the last week, we’ve visited several, partly because they have healthy food (including vegan entrees for our fasting son) and good coffee and partly because they have free Wi-Fi. When I walked in today and saw the Tuscan colors and warm atmosphere, I relaxed immediately and realized Panera’s provides something I need as much as food and Wi-Fi – a sense of home and normalcy.
People sometimes rail against the “homogenizing of America,” but today I’m grateful for the sameness. And I think Allen is, too. He’s exploring uncharted territory on a daily basis and a small sameness of place has been a life raft for him more than once in the past week. Today he gritted his teeth and entered the clinic, determined to continue his difficult journey. God alone knows where he’ll go today and how much energy he’ll expend along the way.
This afternoon, when his treatment is done, we’ll go back the motel. I’ll do the sauna/treadmill/torture routine. But not Allen. He’ll listen to jazz and email friends, rest and heal, and acquaint himself with the new person he’s become. And we’ll eat supper in familiar territory, maybe at Panera’s, and dream of home.
by jphilo | Dec 9, 2008 | Out and About
Allen felt a little blue this morning. The therapists said the week would have ups and downs, especially during the first few days. Their predictions proved true for Allen, perhaps because he knows how much ground remains to be covered and reclaimed.
I felt blue, too, as I walked on the hotel treadmill and compared the drudgery to my little gravel road back home. I missed the birds, the squirrels and the familiar things that normally anchor my day.
My blue turned nearly black after I dropped Allen off at the clinic and the receptionist gave me directions to a laundromat. The directions were wonderful, and I found the place without a hitch. But it was closed for repairs. I stopped at a bank and got directions to another laundromat. The road to that one was closed for the day, so I stopped at a third one I spied on the way back. It’s soap machines were empty and it connected to a bar, already busy at nine o’clock in the morning. By this time I was not a happy camper, ready to throw a hissy fit because I couldn’t find a laundromat and I’m out of socks, for Pete’s sake. What’s so wrong about wanting clean socks?
Then I thought about Allen, reconstructing memories of painful surgeries and procedures today and all this week. At the end of that experience, he has to reconstruct his life with nothing more than two suitcases of borrowed clothes and a family that loves him.
I quit fuming and I went back to the motel where the clerk gave me directions to another laundromat which I found without a hitch. Right now, the clothes are in the dryer, and I even have an internet connection. A moment ago, an email about Boone’s weather-related school closing arrived.
I smiled. If I was home, the snow would have kept me inside. Here in Morgantown, it’s almost fifty degrees and cloudy. The roads were clear while I searched for a laundromat, and I’ll be back at the motel with the clean clothes before the rain hits. Allen and i will go to lunch at Olive Garden. He’ll work through more memories today and be a day closer to recovery.
We will make it through today. For no, that’s enough.
by jphilo | Dec 8, 2008 | Out and About
Allen spotted this bear at a Pennsylvania rest stop yesterday and instisted on a picture. We arrived in Morgantown about suppertime and unpacked, made some phone calls and kicked back.
This morning, Allen started therapy, and I took the tour of the place with him. I thought i was to leave after that, but ended up staying for the morning – first while an intern took more history, then for a question and answer period with Dr. Gantt, and finally during Allen’s session with Dr. Tinnin – because Allen’s early medical history was so complicated, they wanted me to guide them through it. I’m at the motel right now, but am expecting a call as they want me to come back this afternoon and see how Allen “reconstructs “ what I watched this morning.
I won’t go into details of what I experienced as I think that’s Allen’s story to tell. But it was emotional, exhausting and very healing. He was able to do all they had hoped, which is a good sign. If this morning is any indication, the rest of the week will be equally exhausting so keep praying for strength and courage for him, sensitivity and discernment for me. And pray for Hiram, Anne and the rest of the family (and the monks) as they wait for Allen to finish wrestling with his bear.
Last thing, I can receive your emails here at the motel, but I can’t send them via my regular email program, only through our Mac hosting site which is very cumbersome. So be patient if you don’t hear back from me. And if you need a response, put a comment here on the blog and I’ll get back to you.
by jphilo | Dec 7, 2008 | Out and About
For the past few days, diversionary tactics have been the name of the game for Allen and me. Decorating the tree with Brenda was just what I needed. Her tree had a theme and is color coordinated to match the living room. My tree at home is a sentimental collection of thirty-two years worth of decorations which match nothing and make me cry when I take them out of their boxes.
Allen’s diversion was Facebook. Once he got past the culture shock of online social networking – along with the idea of iPods, iTunes and all sorts of technology that developed during his five years in the monastery – he made rapid progress. He set up and account and located numerous old high school and college friends. One of them gave him a crash course in Facebookology, and my son is now more proficient at it than I am.
We’re both ready for the diversions to end and the hard work of therapy to begin. Please pray for Allen as he begins. From all we’ve read, it will be emotionally exhausting and life-changing, so pray for his courage and strength to face what is ahead. Pray that I respond to him as a twenty-six-year-old man and provide the right mix of support and independence.
We leave Bowling Green around noon, with a 5 – 6 hour drive to Morgantown. The weather, which was snowy and windy yesterday, is calm and sunny today, and we’re glad. It’s a new week and a new adventure. Hi, ho Silver, away!
by jphilo | Dec 5, 2008 | Out and About
Today, Allen got into our car and left the monastery as a non-monk with the support . This sounds like a normal thing to you, but it is an amazing situation, even for a monk who hadn’t taken final vows, to experience. Not only that, but Father Seraphim sent a huge gift basket with Allen, full of foods acceptable for the present Orthodox Nativity fast. All the monks said good-bye to him with great love and sadness, along with hope that he will one day return.
We’re on our way to Toledo where Hiram will board a Greyhound bus this afternoon and arrive in Ames tomorrow morning. Allen and I will then go to Bowling Green and spend the weekend with relatives. This presents a phone problem. Hiram will take his phone with him. My phone is on its way via mail, thanks to my friend Cindy, from Boone to Bowling Green. Hopefully by next week you’ll be able to contact me at my cell phone number.
Once again, we are so thankful for your prayers and encouraging email comments. I haven’t been able to respond to all of them because of internet access and time constraints. But all of you – Deb and Jim, Old Firefighter, Julie, Janet, Art’s #4, Harriet, Kris, Shelly, Judith, Cindy, Rita, Jacque – and those of you I’ve inadvertently omitted, continue to be our support system. Hearing from you brings reality and home into our present adventure.
by jphilo | Sep 29, 2008 | Out and About
Friday afternoon, Hiram and I drove through Blue Earth, Minnesota. We were on the way to Pipestone for my aunt’s funeral visitation. Boy, was I surprised when I looked out the window and saw the Jolly Green Giant statue east of Highway 169. Hiram was willing to turn around so I could get a picture of the statue for my blog, but time was at a premium so I told him to keep driving. In a few minutes, we were on I-90, speeding west.
But the whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth. Not because we didn’t turn back for the picture, but because of the hoax the Green Giant uppity-ups have perpetrated on America since I was a kid. What’s the hoax? There’s no valley around the Green Giant. The land around Blue Earth, and along the central portion of the Iowa-Minnesota boarder is flat as flat.
When I was a kid, I had no idea the Green Giant people were so close by. I thought they were California or Washington D.C. or Wall Street schysters, where according to the newspapers, everybody’s crooked. But this hoax came from the midwest, from honest, hardworking western European farming stock. This truth-stretching was done by people who could be members of my family. I want to know who from the midwest had enough imagination to create the advertising jingle that permeated my childhood and ruined my southern Minnesota geography paradigm, not to mention possessed enough artistic sensitivity to paint the beautiful but absolutely inaccurate scene above.
To combat the renegades contributing to the deterioration of our nation’s moral fiber, I’m thinking of a new career in investigative food-related, advertising myth debunking journalism. How’s that for specialization? There’s a future in it. Think of all the children I can save from food and geography misinformation.
Once the Green Giant scandal hits the front page of the New York Times, I know what to investigate next – the Keebler Elves. There’s something about that hollow tree that doesn’t quite ring true. Can’t put my finger on it just yet, but I will.
