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iPad 3

Three years ago this month, iPurchased the New Hot Thing iN the tech world: The iPad 3. iLoved iT, thought iT took a while to figure out how to turn iT on make full use of iT’s nearly unlimited features. But finally, iDid iT as today’s Fantastic Friday post reveals.

iDid iT.

On Tuesday, iBought an iPad 3. The news may shock peeps who read Monday’s post about feeling like an iPad iDiot. However my trip to the Apple Store was a rousing success. Much better than anticipated, thanks to the weekend’s frustrating research, which resulted iN the right list of questions to ask Doug,* a friendly iGenius in his perky blue shirt with a white apple on the front. iEven understood the iGenius’ answers and made my purchase iMmediately for one reason.

The Apple Store has an iPad Set Up Bench.

The bench was manned by Jon,* another friendly iGenius in a perky blue shirt, whose job was to help crazy middle aged women who think they can learn to use an iPad savvy consumers get their iPads up and running. Jon was patient, kind, and encouraging to me and the other two hopelessly confused middle-aged women savvy consumers trying to follow his directions. A wild look came iNto his eye shortly before he said iT was time for his break and Ben,* a third iGenius iN a perky blue shirt relieved him. Shortly thereafter, Ben shook my hand and said iWas ready to roll.

He wasn’t all wrong.

Once home, iRemembered how to turn my iPad 3 on. And iPanicked for only a few minutes when iCouldn’t find the iPad User Guide, which Jon and Ben downloaded while assuring me would answer all my questions. iT’s taken me two days to get to page 53. Out of 238 pages. At this rate, iMight finish the manual the day before Apple releases iPad 4.

iF that happens, iGive up.

*According to my iNformal research, iGeniuses are required to have one syllable names. Probably so their brains have room to remember iMportant stuff like how to humor delusional middle aged women savvy consumers while downloading iPad User Guides at the iPad Set Up Bench.