by jphilo | Jul 17, 2012 | Family
We’re enjoying our visit with our sweet daughter and son-in-law. Though they were far, far away for a year our time together is proof that their year out east didn’t diminish the family traits that show she’s our girl. Here are the top ten ways I know she’s still the person we raised back in the day:
10. Her eyes sparkle whenever she learns we’re having BLTs and sweet corn for supper. (Minus the T, just like her mom used to eat ’em.)
9. She asked me to make the family birthday cake, German chocolate, for her birthday this coming Saturday. (A favorite of Dad and Mom’s.)
8. She and dairy products don’t get along. (Mom’s side of the fam.)
7. At her PT appointment last week, she was diagnosed with hip displaysia. (Just like her dad.)
6. She pitches right in (and so does her hubby) when it’s time to wash windows, dust, weed, strip the beds, do laundry, and wash dishes. (Early childhood training by both parents.)
5. Anne loves to sniff out a good bargain. (We prefer to call this trait, passed along by both parents, “thrifty” rather than “cheap.”)
4. Anne’s reading her way through the murder mysteries on her mom’s bedside table and is ready to go the library for more tomorrow.
3. Like her dad, she’s always making stuff.
2. Like her mom, she’s always writing something.
1. Our house feels more like home when she and her husband are here.
What family traits do you see in your children? Leave a comment about the ones you’re willing to claim!
by jphilo | Jul 16, 2012 | Family
The number of people stepping up to the mealtime plate at our house doubled last Wednesday with the arrival of our daughter and son-in-law. Their two week visit is hardly enough time to catch up on their year in Ohio, more than eleven hours away. And, it might not be enough time to get me back into the game of cooking for more than two people, either.
Not just any two people,
but two people a generation younger than us,
with metabolisms much higher than ours,
with one of those metabolisms encased in a 6’4″ frame.
I stocked up on groceries the day they came. When they opened the refrigerator door the first time, they were both taken aback by it’s stuffed-to-the-gills status. But they shook off the shock and put those active metabolisms to good use. By this morning, the refrigerator and the cupboards were looking pretty bare.
No bread,
one peach in the fruit bowl,
three small tomatoes,
one half-gallon of milk,
some scruffy looking veggies,
smoked turkey left over from Hiram’s grill-fest yesterday,
and a dozen eggs.
Almost enough to tide us over until we make a Costco run tomorrow. To fill the gap, I hit the produce aisle at the grocery store down the road and came home with a watermelon, a bag of peaches, and a container of grapes. I did a little cooking, too.
Four dozen honey-oatmeal muffins,
eight pints of turkey broth off yesterday’s carcass,
and four cups of meat picked off the bones,
which is why this post is a little late going up.
But I’m not making more of Abbey’s granola today. We’ve gone through two batches in the last week, kinda like the Japanese beetles on my rose bushes. Considering the gross leavings of those critters, I decided to distance us from that metaphor, so we’re waiting until midweek to make more. Besides, the daughter’s birthday is only a few days off.
So it’s time to gather the ingredients for her birthday menu of
grilled shrimp,
Greek salad,
corn-on-the-cob,
and German chocolate birthday cake
with coconut-pecan frosting.
Uh-huh, I think the old rhythm’s coming back. I’m finding my stride and getting in the cooking game again. It feels good. Though all this thinking about food, cooking, grocery shopping, and menu planning works up a powerful appetite. Which means it must be time for me to step up to the plate again. With the kids here for two weeks after a long year away, every meal’s already a home run.
by jphilo | Jul 9, 2012 | Family
Even though today’s our thirty-fifth anniversary, the man of steel’s feeling a little grim. He has been ever since he ruptured a disk and started losing man cards right and left.
- He lost the first card when he landed flat on his back in excruciating pain.
- He surrendered a second man card when he admitted he needed Tylenol for the pain.
- Loss #3 came when the woman of aluminum finally convinced him to rent a wheelchair.
- He lost the fourth man card by agreeing to anesthesia during back surgery.
- A flurry of cards fell when his post-op restrictions included a five pound weight limit, no driving, no twisting, and no excess bending.
- The final card hit the dirt when he had to accept the help of friends and neighbors who mowed our lawn, trimmed bushes, brought meals, and changed the dressing on his incision while I was gone for a few days.
But within a week of surgery he started to replenish his deck.
- He added a card immediately by refusing to fill any pain killer prescriptions and not taking one pill during his recovery.
- He gained another card by walking a mile on his second day post op and working up to four miles a day within a week of surgery.
- Another man card entered his deck when he spent five hours running sound at church less than two weeks after surgery.
- And at his two week post op appointment, he earned back three man cards when the driving restriction ended, the weight restriction went up to twenty pounds, and he started bending and twisting under the supervision of a physical therapist.
However, all those gains were nearly wiped out earlier today. Over the weekend, he hauled out the mower, and it wouldn’t start. He drained out the old gas and put in new. It still wouldn’t start. He cleaned the spark plug. Still no go. This morning, he bought a new spark plug. To no avail. Finally, he called the mower repair shop and asked them to pick it up.
With that, he lost almost every man card in his deck.
He’s hoping to win a few at his doctor’s appointment this morning. Maybe the you-can-start-exercising-a-lot card. Or the lift-anything-you-want card. Or best of all, the go-back-to-work-tomorrow trump card.
Things are gonna get ugly around here that doesn’t happen. But I’ve come up with the perfect solution for anybody who’s beating himself up for forgetting to send an anniversary card. You can send Hiram a man card instead!
Either that or a new mower. The perfect anniversary present for both of us!
by jphilo | Jul 6, 2012 | Family
Last weekend, Mom kicked several items off her bucket list. One of them was attending a baby shower for her first great-grandchild who will be born in September. The second item on her list, a wish for her first great-grandchild to be born on Great-Grandma’s birthday (September 3), is in wait-and-see mode. It’s also in not-too-likely mode since Baby Philo’s projected due date is September 21.
But thanks to the efforts of her oldest daughter, also known as my big sister, Mom kicked two other items off her bucket list. She accomplished one of them on Saturday night when we took her to Jax Cafe in north Minneapolis so she could eat lobster for the first time.
She didn’t blink at the size of the lobster, perhaps because she knew both her sons-in-law were ready and willing to clean up what she couldn’t eat. She also didn’t blink at the size of her bill, easily the most she’s spent on a single meal in her life, perhaps because we warned her ahead of time. Nor did she balk about leaving a good tip for the waitress who patiently instructed her in the finer points of disassembling and eating the critter.
Her comment when the meal was done?
It was good, but I don’t think I’ll eat another one.
Hmmm….maybe she did blink a little at the size of the bill.
Then on Sunday, she kicked the final item off this weekend’s bucket list. She visited Kairong Liu, a very successful Chinese artist who lives and works in the Minneapolis area.
Mom and Kairong go way back. He was an international student who studied at Westmar College in Le Mars, Iowa during the late 1970s and early 1980s. Someone at the college called Mom and asked if she would tutor Kairong in English. She said yes, he came for his first lesson wearing a suit and tie to impress his new teacher, and Kairong became a fixture in our family for the next four years. Then he went off to graduate school at Vermillion, South Dakota, and we lost track of him.
Except that my sister, who lives in the Minneapolis area, saw his works exhibited in some area art shows over the years. So when Mom said she’d like to see her former student, Sis located him via the internet, and arranged Sunday’s visit.
I don’t know who was more delighted to see who, Mom or Kairong. He spent an hour showing her around his studio, where he stores and displays over 500 of his paintings. She learned about his family, and he caught up on hers. Then he took us to 98 Pounds, his favorite Twin Cities Chinese buffet. (It is also now our favorite Chinese buffet. If you’re ever in the Twin Cities, check it out!)
The buffet didn’t run out of food and we didn’t run out of conversation, but after 2 hours together, we did run out of time. Before saying our reluctant good-byes, Kairong presented Mom with a signed print of one of his landscapes.
She beamed.
He smiled.
Everybody else got a little teary.
When we took Mom back to my brother’s home, she handed him the poster and said, “Get this framed and decide where to hang it.” She didn’t blink when we told her it would be expensive. Instead, she shrugged and said, “Do it.”
My brother and I grinned, realizing Mom had crossed one more item off her bucket list. For the first time we could remember, she placed more value on a beautiful experience than on money.
“I’ll get right on it,” he said.
She beamed.
He smiled.
I got a little teary.
Life doesn’t get any better than this.
by jphilo | Jul 3, 2012 | Family
On Saturday, many family members and close friends gathered to celebrate the upcoming birth of our first grandchild. The expectant parents put the kabosh on silly baby shower games, much to the relief of all in attendance. But the maternal grandma-to-be and her close friend, who hosted the shower, asked the party goers to write their best new baby tips on cards which were presented to the new parents.
Most people wrote short tips, a few succinct words of advice. But true to form, this paternal grandma-to-be tried to write a top ten list on the spot. I didn’t succeed during the party – there just wasn’t time – but upon reflection and a day or two back home, my top 10 tips for expectant parents rounded out quite nicely.
10. Freeze some meals ahead of time. When preparing meals before the baby’s born, make double or triple batches of any dishes that can be frozen. You’ll appreciate every one of them once the baby comes!
9. Accept help. If you can, make a list of ways people can help, along with instructions. Examples: Prepare a basic staples grocery list so someone can do your shopping. Write down instructions about how to sort clothes and operate your washer and dryer so someone can take over that duty for a few weeks. Ditto for dishwasher and vacuum instructions, cleaning the kitchen, bathrooms, mowing the lawn or shoveling snow, and other tasks around the house.
8. Forget about the housework. Reread and follow instructions in #9 instead.
7. Allow extra travel time. Getting out of the house with a new baby in tow takes much longer than you think. Start taking things to the car at least a half hour early for the first well-baby visit. Remember to take the baby, along with the car seat, diaper bag, and everything else.
6. Trust your gut. Docs, nurses, and seasoned parents may know more about babies than you do, but you know more about your baby than they do. So when you think something’s not quite right, trust your gut and ask about it.
5. Take lots of photos. Babies grow up so fast. Capture memories while you can.
4. Talk to your baby every day. Want your child to talk early and communicate well? Then make eye contact with your baby and talk, talk, talk as long as the little tyke keeps looking at you. Your words, even if they’re just loving nonsense, teach your child speech patterns, nuances of tone, facial expression, and much more. So talk, talk, talk to your child every day.
3. Say “I love you” every day. Use the same strategies outlined in #4 while repeating these important words to your baby several times daily.
2. Say “I love your mom” or “I love your dad” to your baby every day. Say it to your spouse or partner, too. In this time of great adjustment, everybody in the family needs to know they’re loved.
1. Pray for your baby. You can pray spontaneous prayers according to the needs of the moment, of course. For a more intentional prayer plan, check out Nav Press’s 30 Biblical Virtues to Pray for Your Kids or the prayer guides in the back of my book, Different Dream Parenting. (Really, mentioning my book wasn’t the intent of this post!)
Those are my top 10 tips, but no doubt you have some favorites not on the list. Please leave a comment about your best advice for brand new parents. They’ll appreciate your help!
by jphilo | Jun 14, 2012 | Family
Hiram is up and at ’em after Tuesday’s back surgery to remove the disk fragment pressing on his sciatic nerve. Since the source of his back pain was a disk fragment from the ruptured L4 vertebrae that migrated to the L3 region, I think 3 hospital thoughts for Thursday are in order. Here goes:
- We are very thankful for modified laprascopic neurosurgery and gifted surgeons who perform them. Thank you, Dr. Brandenberg!
- Nurses really are the worst patients. Especially if they’re
incarcerated being treated in the hospital where they work.
- Caring for a post-surgery spouse in the hospital is much easier than caring for a post-surgery newborn, toddler, preschooler, or adolescent child. May you never be able to make the comparison!
Do you have something to say about a recent hospital experience, either as patient or caregiver? Leave a comment!
