by jphilo | Apr 3, 2015 | Daily Life
Today’s Fantastic Friday post comes from way back in April of 2009. That spring’s weather must have been considerably warmer than this one, since the columbine have not yet made an appearance. The mystery novel mentioned below is a different one than Run, Jane, Run! which is unfortunately not almost done, though I’m almost ready to find time to work on it again. My almost standard of living continues, but the 2009 evening listening to Bill Bryson in the company of my dear friend Cindy was not almost enchanted. It was most definitely a magical evening never to be forgotten.
Almost
It’s almost spring, the calendar says, but the weather’s cold again today. Through the garden debris, the columbine are almost ready to unfurl their leaves. The peony tips are visible, almost pushing through the black dirt.
My life is a reflection of my flower garden. Mom’s house is almost sold, we’ve cleared out almost all it’s contents, and I’ve almost figured out her finances. I’m almost done going through the editor’s suggestions for A Different Dream, the mystery manuscript is almost done, and I’m almost ready for a speaking engagement. My house is almost in order, the bathrooms are almost clean, and I almost have the weekend menu planned.
The problem is, just like spring, I’m stuck at almost. As soon as I almost finish something, something more serious arises and I have abandon what’s almost done to address the other. Almost finished projects are piling up so fast they’re almost drowning me.
All I can do until April 10, when we close on Mom’s house, is make peace with the almosts. My friend came up with a perfect way to do it. We’re going to hear the author Bill Bryson speak at Drake University tonight. He’s a Des Moines native who lives in England and almost never gets back to Iowa. The talk will be an almost perfect ending to an almost winter day in what claims to be spring. And to think, I almost missed the opportunity.
Thanks for inviting me, Cindy.
What almosts are piling up in your life? Leave a comment.
by jphilo | Mar 13, 2015 | Daily Life
Three years ago this month, iPurchased the New Hot Thing iN the tech world: The iPad 3. iLoved iT, thought iT took a while to figure out how to turn iT on make full use of iT’s nearly unlimited features. But finally, iDid iT as today’s Fantastic Friday post reveals.
iDid iT.
On Tuesday, iBought an iPad 3. The news may shock peeps who read Monday’s post about feeling like an iPad iDiot. However my trip to the Apple Store was a rousing success. Much better than anticipated, thanks to the weekend’s frustrating research, which resulted iN the right list of questions to ask Doug,* a friendly iGenius in his perky blue shirt with a white apple on the front. iEven understood the iGenius’ answers and made my purchase iMmediately for one reason.
The Apple Store has an iPad Set Up Bench.
The bench was manned by Jon,* another friendly iGenius in a perky blue shirt, whose job was to help crazy middle aged women who think they can learn to use an iPad savvy consumers get their iPads up and running. Jon was patient, kind, and encouraging to me and the other two hopelessly confused middle-aged women savvy consumers trying to follow his directions. A wild look came iNto his eye shortly before he said iT was time for his break and Ben,* a third iGenius iN a perky blue shirt relieved him. Shortly thereafter, Ben shook my hand and said iWas ready to roll.
He wasn’t all wrong.
Once home, iRemembered how to turn my iPad 3 on. And iPanicked for only a few minutes when iCouldn’t find the iPad User Guide, which Jon and Ben downloaded while assuring me would answer all my questions. iT’s taken me two days to get to page 53. Out of 238 pages. At this rate, iMight finish the manual the day before Apple releases iPad 4.
iF that happens, iGive up.
*According to my iNformal research, iGeniuses are required to have one syllable names. Probably so their brains have room to remember iMportant stuff like how to humor delusional middle aged women savvy consumers while downloading iPad User Guides at the iPad Set Up Bench.
by jphilo | Feb 27, 2015 | Daily Life
Friday on this Gravel Road means it’s time to dig through the archives for a past post worth another read. This one hails from February of 2013. Reading it was a bit discouraging, as it showed my impatience hasn’t increased much in the past 2 years. Anyone else suffer from this affliction? Leave a comment R-I-G-H-T N-O-W so we can start a support group pronto!
This past Wednesday was not a good day.
First, I was supposed to meet a friend for coffee in the morning and because I’d written the time down wrong, got there a half hour late. Being an impatient person, I hate to keep others waiting.
But that wasn’t the worst of it.
After working on a blog post for over almost two hours, it refused to come together the way I wanted. Impatient people like me don’t have time to waste spend almost two hours on a single blog post.
But that wasn’t the worst of it.
The google chat audio feature was malfunctioning on my computer, so I missed an online meeting in the afternoon. Impatient people have no patience with technical glitches.
But that wasn’t the worst of it.
A publisher rejected a piece I wrote for a devo Bible being compiled by a friend. Not only that, the publisher wanted extensive citations (including book page numbers) for a half-dozen quotes for other pieces I’d written. Impatient people don’t enjoy skimming long books to find page numbers.
But that wasn’t the worst of it.
Hiram spent all afternoon trying to file our income tax with Turbo Tax. He’s usually pretty patient, but after several hours of online chats with Turbo Tax experts and two phone calls, he was a little cranky. Impatient people like me think we’re the only ones with a right to be cranky.
But that wasn’t the worst of it.
The cold Hiram’s been fighting for two weeks came back with a vengeance that night. He ran a temperature again and coughed all night. Which didn’t sit well with a woman who needs plenty of sleep in order to be patient.
But that wasn’t the worst of it.
The worst of it was this. I woke up Thursday morning and realized impatient people like me spend all their time looking at gray skies. We are so focused on the gloom, we don’t even see the gap in the clouds and the sun streaming through.
Impatient people like me forget they have
friends to visit,
blogs to write,
a computer that functions flawlessly 99.9% of the time,
writing projects to complete,
income tax refunds to file,
and a husband whose job provides sick leave and excellent health insurance.
Yes, that’s the worst of it.
Dear Father, forgive me for not slowing down to look for the gap in the clouds. Forgive me for focusing on the gloomy clouds and missing the joy of the Son. Please teach me to be patient…as quickly as possible. Amen.
by jphilo | Dec 29, 2014 | Daily Life
After a five day break, when Camp Dorothy’s namesake headed north to spend a few days with her eldest daughter, things are ramping up for a rockin’ New Year’s Eve celebration. The fun begins today when the camp director collects Dorothy from Minnesota and returns her to central Iowa’s more moderate climate…not that Dorothy will be outside experiencing the climate any more than is absolutely necessary.
She’ll be sitting cozy on the couch with a footstool under her feet and an extra blanket around her shoulders.
Also arriving at camp on Monday will be a Wisconsin contingent consisting of our daughter, six months pregnant, and her 6’4″ husband. They will be taking over many of the camp director’s activity duties including, but not limited to, playing Rummikub and Uno with the camp’s namesake and operating the television remote control so that episodes of The Price Is Right, Judge Judy, and Wheel of Fortune appear on cue at the proper time.
A stress reliever for sure as the camp director (aka: camp cook) foresees numerous trips to the grocery store as the camp population will double for the week.
And the director will be spending extra time planning a rockin’ New Year’ Eve party. Not an easy thing to schedule considering the camp’s namesake usually goes to bed between 7 and 7:30 in the evening. Therefore, our New Year’s Eve countdown of top hits will need to proceed at lightning speed so that 2015 is welcomed in at approximately 7:15 pm Central Standard Time. If that doesn’t work, Plan B is to blow our noisemakers continually from the end of Wheel of Fortune to midnight to keep the camp’s namesake awake until the New Year can be ushered in the rest of the country’s customary time. The camp director hopes Plan A works because, as daughter of the camp’s namesake, she goes to bed around 8:30 PM and has no interest in staying awake to ring in 2015.
The family resemblance is astounding, don’t you think?
Camp Dorothy will definitely be a rockin’ place to be on New Year’s Eve. If you’d like to join us, come early and bring your Uno deck. If you want to prank the camp with a late night call, the joke’s on you as the camp landline’s been cancelled and all cell phones shift into night mode long before Cinderella’s coach is in danger of turning into a pumpkin. All because Camp Dorothy aims to please it’s namesake and a good night’s sleep is always her number one priority.
Happy New Year from the well-rested Camp Dorothy crew!
by jphilo | Nov 27, 2014 | Daily Life
by jphilo | May 12, 2014 | Daily Life
Our herb garden has been planted! Not an easy feat on a weekend sprinkled with rain showers to dodge and graduation parties to attend. Add to that a mystery that needed to be solved before the planting to begin, and the accomplishment seems almost miraculous.
The mystery sprouted in the container pot that housed thyme, oregano, and rosemary. The shape of the seedlings immediately eliminated rosemary as a suspect. My inclination was to declare last year’s thyme the culprit, but decided to sleuth a little before making any accusations. So I did the first thing any good detective does in this day and age. I searched the internet for pictures of herb seedlings…and discovered they look a lot alike.
So I did the second thing any good plant detective does. I crushed one of the seedlings, gave it a good sniff an compared the scent to the scents of the dried oregano and thyme in my spice cabinet. The results of the test were ambiguous, so I repeated the experiment. At which point my allergies kicked in, and I couldn’t smell a thing.
So I did the third thing any good plant detective does. I drove to the nursery for an herb pot line up. Lo and behold, the German thyme was a dead ringer for the suspects back home. Determined to not declare thyme guilty without indisputable proof, I gave the suspect a sniff. The scent was a perfect match. I had proved without a doubt in the world that the pot at home contained all the thyme in the world.
Then, I did the fourth thing a good plant detective does. I purchased a pot each of rosemary and oregano, went home, and started planting. Which was when this detective discovered she’d wasted a whole lot of thyme time planting cilantro a few weeks back. Last year’s crop had seeded itself in the sidewalk cracks as prolifically as the time thyme had seeded it its pot.
Which goes to show I have a lot to learn before being considered a herb gardening expert. But with all the thyme in the world at my disposal, I have plenty of time to get there.
