by jphilo | Aug 16, 2013 | Current Events
Yesterday was one of those days when this old gray mare knew her memory ain’t what it used it be. The epic memory failure began when I discovered I’d purchased the wrong kind of puff pastry for the new dish on the supper menu.
What to do?
Thanks to improvisation techniques honed by many years of practice, the meal was saved. Hiram liked the new dish so much, he said it deserved to be photographed and put on the blog, improvisations and all. But the camera was missing.
Nowhere to be found.
Eventually, I realized I must have forgotten it at last week’s family reunion. So, no picture of last night’s yummy meal. And the evening was spent sending a series of emails to cousins trying to locate the camera. (Janet, if you read this, check your email and reply asap!)
This morning I remembered the iPad.
Why hadn’t it come to mind last night? But no worries! I could use it to photograph the left overs. Except by then, the leftovers were gone. Hiram had taken them to work.
Rats!
That’s when I knew my memory ain’t what it uses to be. So I was very pleased to discover the article 10 Ways We Get Smarter As We Age at the Time website. Those of you who share my age bracket will appreciate them, I’m sure.
- Your hemispheres sync up. That sounds awfully high tech, doesn’t it?
- Your brain never stops growing. So, should we worry about exploding heads?
- Your reasoning and problem-solving skills get sharper. Sharper than what?
- You can focus on the upside. That’s why this list is showcased today.
- Your people skills are constantly improving. Compared to what?
- Your priorities become clearer. What’s for dinner and where’s the bathroom?
- You’re always adding to your knowledge and abilities. Though you’ll constantly forget where you put them.
- You can see the big picture. In that case, new glasses may be in order.
- You gain control of your emotions. Then why did a cardinal singing make me cry the other day?
- You become an instant expert, even in new situations. Since we’re instant experts, this expert recommendation is that you copy the list, tie it around your neck so you don’t forget where it is, and read it daily as a reminder of how smart you are.
Just sayin’.
Photo credit: www.freedigitalphotos.net
by jphilo | Jul 4, 2013 | Current Events
Photo Credit: www.freedigitalphotos.net
by jphilo | Jun 10, 2013 | Current Events
photo source
Our cousins across the pond held a big party last week to celebrate the 60th anniversary of their monarch. Queen Elizabeth. The media was full of the event. Factoids about the queen’s life were everywhere.
But one important fact escaped the media circus. My mother considers Her Royal Majesty as a constant entities in her life. So this weekend, I did a little pictorial research to see why Mom regards HRM as almost a friend. What I discovered confirms a suspicion I have long held. Though Queen Elizabeth was raised in the lap of luxury in an English palace and my mother was raised in poverty on a Minnesota farm during the Great Depression, the two women led parallel lives. Here are a few pictures to prove the point:
Princesses Elizabeth and Margaret in the 1930s
Photo Source
Mom (right) with her sister Ruth during the 1930s
Princess Elizabeth in the 1940s
Photo Source
Mom in the 1940s
The Queen at the 60th Anniversary Celebration wearing fancy hat
Photo Source
Mom at family celebration wearing fancy elf hat
I know.
Parallel lives.
Sends shivers down the spine, doesn’t it?
So I’m praying that some Tuesday in the future, when Mom and I go out for lunch together, she will be at the center of a huge, fawning media circus. ‘Cause in my eyes, her life is every bit as remarkable as Queen Elizabeth’s, and I’d like the world to know it.
by jphilo | Feb 11, 2013 | Current Events
As a former elementary school teacher and survivor of a respiratory virus that’s still holding the man of steel hostage, today I’m officially launching a personal research study into a new branch of science.
Tissue-ology
My interest in this area of research was first piqued during 25 years of teaching. Early on, I observed an interesting pattern. The number of boxes of tissues used by students in a given year correlated directly to the number of learning and behavior issues among those students.
Correlation 1: More learning + behavior issues = More tissues consumed.
Correlation 2: Fewer learning + behavior issues = Fewer tissues consumed.
Tissue-ology
More recently, I’ve discovered that the whereabouts of tissue boxes in our house are good indicators of the healthiness of the inhabitants of a household under respiratory siege.
Stage 1: Tissue boxes in normal positions in each bathroom = everyone feels hunky dory.
Stage 2: Tissue boxes the couch or end table = everybody’s in denial about how fast they’re goin’ down.
Stage 3: Tissue boxes on couch or end table + overflowing wastebasket nearby = hell health in a hand basket.
Stage 4: Tissue boxes back in normal position + stray tissues on bedside and end tables = getting better, but not quite there yet.
Stage 5: Tissue boxes in normal position + dust on the tissue on top = God’s in his heaven + all’s right with the world.
Tissue-ology
According to official scientific monitoring underway at our house, I am currently at Stage 4, while the man of steel is at Stage 3. I am also looking for volunteers willing to participate in this research study. At this point, I can’t afford to pay you, but your name will be added to the list of charter tissue-ologists, which will be a big deal when the field of tissue-ology gets up and blowing running. Leave a comment below if you would like to participate in the study. And remember, you heard it here first.
Tissue-ology.
by jphilo | Feb 5, 2013 | Current Events
Another Super Bowl has come and gone, but it left these top ten lingering impressions in its wake:
10. My, my, my, those players have to be sore this week.
9. The more a TV show (like Parenthood, Downtown Abbey, or West Wing) draws me in emotionally, the more likely it is to enter my dreams. Rest assured, Super Bowl 47 and I were not bedfellows Sunday night.
8. Between brothers who are head coaches and the power outage, Super Bowl 47 should provide a motherlode of obscure facts for color commentators in the decades to come.
7. The best thing about the Super Bowl is the socially acceptable, junk food extravaganza that accompanies it each year.
6. Surely, John Harbaugh will leave his Super Bowl ring at home when he goes to Jim’s house for Thanksgiving dinner next year.
5. Finally, we know how to render football commentators speechless. Just turn off the lights in the stadium.
4. So, are the football players with the braids really football players, or are they Saruman’s fighting Urak-hai moonlighting on the sly?
3. The lack of sportsmanship displayed by players, coaches, and fans left me feeling sorry for elementary PE teachers and any adult on recess duty. How can educators encourage kids to be good sports when their pro-athlete role models are such bad examples?
2. The Super Bowl is considered family entertainment, right? Did someone forget to remind Beyonce and the producers of the halftime show about that?
1. Most of the Super Bowl commercials didn’t make much sense, which shows how out of touch I am with popular culture. However, the Doritos commercial where the dad dressed up as princess and played with his daughter and all his friends joined in was very cool. The world needs more dads like that.
by jphilo | Jan 21, 2013 | Current Events
Spoiler alert for those who’ve not yet watched episode 2 of the third season of Downton Abbey! Wait to read this until after you’ve watched it.
For those of you who have watched episode 3, at least the women readers, could you believe what happened to Lady Edith? Is this woman doomed to always be the bridesmaid, but never the bride? Only since Lady Sybil eloped and Lady Mary didn’t bother with bridesmaids, Lady Edith never got to be a bridesmaid, either.
And she was jilted at the altar.
In a gown I personally considered more beautiful than Lady Mary’s. And I’m quite the expert on wedding dresses, having spent a considerable amount of my childhood rating wedding gowns worn by my older cousins. I also rated the bridesmaid dresses, wedding programs, embossed napkins, cake, mints, mixed nuts, and the frilly net aprons worn by the young teens who helped serve. Over the years, I kept careful track of which cousins were asked to be bridesmaids, groomsmen, ring bearers and flower girls.
Which brings me back to Downton Abbey and poor Lady Edith.
I know how she felt. I totally understand why she ripped off the veil and threw it over the railing. (Didn’t you just love its romantic and tragic billow to earth?) I understand why she threw the headpiece on the floor, refused supper, moped all night, and rose in the morning determined to be the best spinster ever. How, you might ask, can I understand?
Because I never got to be a flower girl.
My sister did, and her middle name is guess what? Mary. Sure, she let me wear her gown when we played dress up, but it wasn’t the same. Not only that, but my brother got to be a ring bearer. But no matter how winsome and irresistible I acted when the latest bride and groom-to-be stopped by to visit–kinda like Lady Edith acted around Sir Anthony Strallan–I never got the flower girl nod.
Never. Ever. Not once.
But like, Edith, I’ve decided to stop moping. Instead, I’m working on my accent and posture, adding to my matching hat and gown collection, learning wield a walking stick with an imposing air, and perfecting the art of leveling pointed looks at one and all.
Watch out Dowager Countess of Grantham, your competition is on the move!
