Southern California is part of the United States, but during our four days there, that was about the only commonality I found between it and the Midwest. Here are the top ten differences between southern Cal and midwestern states:
10. The sound of ocean waves kept us awake at night.
9. After our morning walks, we shook sand off our shoes instead of scraping at mud.
8. Hiram jogged barefoot in the mornings and sunburned his head in February, three
months ahead of schedule.
7. Californians erect three story statues of people, not just touching one another, but
actually kissing in public. (Must have something to do with sunstroke.)
6. Flowers bloomed in February and no one was excited about it.
5. Surfers hung their wet suits beside their front doors.
4. Homeless people were everywhere.
3. The temperature never got below 50 degrees or over 80, and no one was excited
about it.
2. On Sunday, the coffee cart was outside on the church patio.
1. During worship, the pastor prayed that we would avoid excessive navel gazing during
Lent. Midwesterners don’t admit they have navels, especially not in church.
Midwesterners wouldn’t dream of going over ten in any top ten about just themselves, but since this top ten includes California, which has a reputation of being over the top, this list could expand to at least twenty. So if you’ve got other things to add to the list, leave your comments.
