by jphilo | Feb 2, 2016 | Top Ten Tuesday
The first month of January is now history, and with its passing I am painfully aware of what I did not accomplish. Here’s a look at my top ten epic fails so far in 2016.
10. I overbaked some chocolate chip bars for a weekend church function. Thankfully, we were out of town the weekend they were served, so I didn’t have to watch people discover how dry they were.
9. The historical paper photographs that have been sitting on a chair for 2 1/2 years waiting to be organized remain untouched. The same can be said for my collection of digital photographs, too.
8. I keep meaning to up my lunch game and eat three square meals a day. But it never happens. Instead, I graze from about 11 to 1 almost every day.
7. Too late, I discovered that if a sweet, cuddly granddaughter’s first birthday falls shortly after the New Year, waiting until January to buy a card means the sweet, cuddly granddaughter will receive her card a day late.
6. The weekend shopping trip to update my winter wardrobe did not happen. So I have to keep my by my sides at all times so people don’t see the holes in my sweater underarms.
5. My grandson and I have not yet found the right flavor of Koolaid to make bright, purple play dough. Our best effort yielded a dingy color we call “gray-ple” that’s nothing to write home about.
4. My sister and I were not discovered by a Hollywood mogul during our beach walk in southern California. Perhaps because the surfers were more interesting.
3. I did not get nominated for an Academy Award. For the 59th year in a row. It’s enough to make a person quit trying.
2. My Cindy Crawford look-alike make over was a bust.
1. Neither the Democrats or Republicans asked me to join their last debates before the Iowa caucuses. So I was unable to throw a hissy fit and withdraw because the moderator was a mean girl. It’s not fair!
Want to share your epic fails thus far in 2016? The comment box is waiting for you.
by jphilo | Jun 24, 2014 | Top Ten Tuesday
10. Chocolate chip oatmeal cookies are ammunition in my secret campaign to persuade the government to declare oatmeal as a food group.
9. Making chocolate chip cookies is a fun way to avoid writing a top ten list.
8. Costco makes dairy-free chocolate chips.
7. To avoid the disappointment of biting into heartless oatmeal raisin cookies masquerading as their chocolate chip oatmeal counterparts.
6. To bring back childhood memories of making chocolate chip cookies and going ballistic when Dad and my brother ate them as fast as I pulled them out of the oven.
5. I’m a grandma, and it’s a grandma’s job to make cookies. Never mind that the grandchild lives several hours away and is too young to eat cookies.
4. The aroma of fresh baked cookies makes a house into a home.
3. The only other item on the to do list is dusting. No. Contest.
2. They taste sooo good.
1. I deserve a treat after months, weeks, days, hours of healthy eating.
What are your top reasons for making chocolate chip oatmeal cookies? Leave a comment.
by jphilo | May 20, 2014 | Church Newsletter Columns, Top Ten Tuesday
10. Since childhood, my sympathies have been with the tortoise and not the hare. And who won that race?
9. Running hurts.
8. Being naturally sensitive to the emotions of others, I wouldn’t want to start running and be so exceptionally fast that I left everyone else eating my dust. I just don’t want to be that kind of person.
7. Running hurts.
6. If I ran instead of walking, I wouldn’t have enough time to think through the day and then listen to audio books. What good is life without story time every day?
5. Running hurts.
4. Running makes a person sweat. Sweating is gross. If A equals B and B equals C, that means running is gross.
3. Running hurts.
2. I’m committed to water conservation practices. Sweaty runners take extra showers, and I just can’t go there.
1. Running hurts, and life is way too short for self-inflicted pain.
Those of you who prefer walking to running, now it your chance to be heard. Leave a comment about why you walk instead of run.
Photo Source
by jphilo | Apr 22, 2014 | Top Ten Tuesday
Lately, the man of steel and I have become more and more aware that age is creeping up on us. Here are some signs of aging we’ve noticed since the beginning of 2014.
10. Hanging out with friends at the Accessibility Summit earlier this year was as fun as ever. But it was a tad disconcerting to discover I was the elder stateswoman in the crowd. Not only could I have been an older cousin to several, I also could have been mother to a great many.
9. During the terrible winter of 2014, we shared “old-timer” memories of the winters of 1966-67 (or was it the Winter of 67-68…my memory isn’t what it used to be), 1978-79, and 1981-82.
8. Neither of us have any desire to ever sleep on a floor, on the ground, or in a tent ever again.
7. No one cards us when we order off the senior citizen’s menu…even if we’re younger than the restaurant’s age cut off.
6. When I announced I had no desire to squeeze into yoga pants, my children breathed audible sighs of relief.
5. On a recent road trip, the man of steel accidentally took a hotel pillow and didn’t notice he placed it right on top of our pillow in the back seat of the car. We were horrified by our thievery and went back to return it, of course.
4. About the same time we discovered we were pillow burglars, we realized we’d forgotten our camera. We retraced our steps and reclaimed it, of course.
3. The list of foods we collectively have to avoid means eating at a restaurants with us is not for the faint of heart.
2. My sister will turn 60 this year and her husband turns 70. Contrary to what we would have said 20 years ago about those ages, the man of steel and I agree our rellies are not old. At. All.
1. We believe the auto industry should consider lumbar support and heated seats should be standard features in new vehicles.
Do any of those sound like you? What would you add to the list? Leave a comment.
by jphilo | Apr 14, 2014 | Family
Thanks to the nasty Winter of 2014, Camp Dorothy overnight jaunts have been on hold since the end of December. That’s when the camp’s namesake went to Minnesota for Camp-Dorothy-Christmas-with-the-Family and came back with the annual white elephant gift exchange’s most highly coveted white elephant gift: the 2014 Hunk of the Month Calendar with her son’s photo receiving top billing. (See photo above.)
Throughout the winter months, Camp Dorothy festivities were reduced to Tuesday outings. Activities were limited to doctor appointments, hair appointments and shopping trips to Walgreens, all of which were accompanied by groans and excuses from the camp’s namesake about why she should stay in the car while the camp director did all the errand running and shopping. The high point of each outing was lunch, an event that found the camp’s namesake ready to hop out of the car and trundle into the restaurant with nary a complaint.
The highlight of last week’s day camp was a conversation that falls into the yes-an-85-year-old-mother-can-still-make-her-nearing-60-daughter-crazy category. The camp director/daughter opened the conversation with the following statement. “I’m actually making supper tomorrow night. I’ve been traveling so much lately I’ll have to learn how to cook again.”
To which the camp namesake replied, ” Complain, complain, complain. I feel so sorry for you, Jo.”
Innocently, the camp director objected, “I didn’t mean to complain. But I haven’t cooked for a while and need to get back into the groove.”
“Always an excuse,” the 85-year-old replied. “You’ve always got an excuse. You’re life is just so hard.”
The camp director’s sputtered, “But…but…how can you razz me when you don’t cook at all anymore?”
‘That’s right,” she said proudly. “I turned all that over to your brother. It’s not my problem anymore. Though he bugs me until I help clean out the dishwasher. He’s so unreasonable.”
“Yet you’re chastising me for saying I haven’t cooked for so long I need to learn how to do it again.” The camp director turned her head to hide the twitch in her eye.
The camp namesake smiled smugly and looked out the window. “Always a comeback, Jo. Always a comeback. You came out talking and haven’t stopped since.”
Sigh!
