by jphilo | May 22, 2013 | Recipes
Yes, you read that right. Today’s post features an asparagus recipe, even though I do not like asparagus. Wait. That’s an understatement. I despise asparagus.
But last week a friend gave us a bag full of the despicable stuff. So the man of steel and Camp Dorothy namesake rustled up one of their favorite springtime meals. One of them had a wonderful time oohing and ahhing, smacking her lips and and saying, “Jo, you don’t know what you’re missing.” Then she bailed and left the other one on dishwasher duty while she watched Wheel of Fortune. Don’t ask me to name names because I’m not that kind of person.
This recipe is mostly guesswork (Translation: Mom didn’t use a recipe years ago when she taught us to make it.), but here’s my best guestimate at ingredient amounts and cooking times.
Creamed Asparagus on Toast
2 cups washed, fresh asparagus, cut into 1/2 inch lengths
2 tablespoons butter
2–3 tablespoons flour
2 cups milk
1/2 cup ham, diced (optional)
Melt butter in sauce pan over medium heat. Add asparagus and ham. Saute for 2 minutes. Add flour and stir until the flour/butter mixture bubbles.
Add milk, a few tablespoons at a time, stirring well after each addition so the mixture doesn’t become lumpy. Stir constantly until mixture comes to slow boil. Turn down heat and boil for a minute or two. Serve over toast.
by jphilo | Mar 29, 2012 | Three Thoughts for Thursday
Between the Republican primary season and the argument about health care before the Supreme Court, the news is overflowing with serious and weighty issues. Therefore, I consider it my patriotic duty as a citizen of a democratic country to share three current event thoughts this Thursday.
- As a kid, I considered the Etch-a-Sketch excruciatingly boring. How fitting for it to enter politics.
- The attorneys arguing against the health care case before the Supreme Court made a mistake when they picked broccoli as the symbol of government going too far. The public outcry would be much louder if people thought the government was forcing them to buy the evilist of all vegetables. You know what I’m talking about. Asparagus.
- Imagine the primary season if Chatty Cathy entered the race. Now that would be interesting.
Now it’s your turn. What children’s toy would spice up the race in your eyes?
by jphilo | May 3, 2011 | Daily Life
Today’s recycled post revisits a controversy that caused great excitement during it’s first airing in May of 2008. The whole issue is a moot point around here, because it the last three years, the spruce trees around the former asparagus patch won the battle for supremacy. The patch pictured above is no more (insert my happy dance here), and though I graciously suggested starting a new one, Hiram decided against it.
So, my only reason for broaching the topic is to stir up controversy. I’m curiously waiting to see if my asparagus-loving friends will notice and make rabid comments either here at the blog or on Facebook. Let the fun begin!
In Pursuit of Truth – Recycled
A certain percentage of this blog’s readers are vegetable activists. If you’ve read their comments in defense of asparagus, you know what I mean. So you may be thinking I took this picture of emergent asparagus in order to curry the favor of this small but very vocal minority. That’s simply not true.
I took this picture because I figured someday I may write another recipe column about asparagus. Most of the column will be a hoax. The recipe will be tested months in advance with alien asparagus, beamed in from who knows where. And I’ll be lying through my teeth about how delicious asparagus is. The least I can do is use a my own, personal file photo of Iowa grown asparagus.
Now you know why I was prone on the dewy grass in our yard early yesterday morning, camera in hand. I was not pandering to vegetable activists. I was pursuing truth and justice, at any price.
And if anyone knows how to get grass stains out of sweat pants, please contact me immediately.
by jphilo | Mar 22, 2011 | Daily Life
A dearest friend marks another year of life this week, so when this entry about celebrating her birthday in March of 2009 popped up, it was the obvious choice for this week’s recycled post. This post had the added benefit of launching the annual spring asparagus controversy: Is it edible or is it a noxious weed? The post below will reveal which camp I’m in and may even garner some comments from readers who actually put the stuff in their mouths and swallow it!
Heavenly Thoughts
Monday night, five of us went to Bravo’s in West Des Moines to celebrate a friend’s birthday. Grilled asparagus was on the menu, which the birthday girl pointed out, even though she knew of my aversion to it. The other women all like asparagus and shared cooking tips concerning the evil vegetable. I tried not to gag. Finally, the birthday girl asked me not to post any asparagus rants on the blog this spring. What was I supposed to do? It was her birthday girl, and I was severely outnumbered. So I promised, knowing full well my chances of keeping the promise were slim.
This morning, asparagus came to mind again, once I talked myself into taking my morning walk. Forty-nine percent of me hollered, “I don’t like to walk in the cold,” while fifty-one percent replied, “But it’s so good for you. Your back feels better you walk.” The promised health benefits and a little vote-rigging with my emotional hanging chads got me out the door.
The cold was so unpleasant, I immediately thought of asparagus. Then my thoughts shifted to what I want heaven to be like: fresh strawberries and sunshine, time to do every good thing in the company of people I love. Then I had another thought. What if heaven isn’t everything I like, but me transformed into someone who loves to do the things God says are good for me? Exercise would be joy instead of drudgery. All work would be pleasure because it’s inherent goodness would motivate me.
Best of all, I would no longer be a picky eater with a sweet tooth. Healthy foods would be my favorites, and I would never overeat. It sounded like heaven to me until another thought stopped me short. What if, on every Valentine’s Day throughout eternity, I received a box of asparagus truffles? Would I actually enjoy them? Did I want to find out?
Then I devised a scheme to avoid the whole issue. I’ll save the truffles until my friend’s birthday and give them to her. She’ll be happy, I’ll be happy, and heaven will be spared the possibility of one of my asparagus rants. Keeping my promise to the birthday girl will be easy once eternity rolls around. Now if I can figure out a way to do it during this life.
Any suggestions?
by jphilo | Mar 26, 2009 | Out and About
Monday night, five of us went to Bravo’s in West Des Moines to celebrate a friend’s birthday. Grilled asparagus was on the menu, which the birthday girl pointed out, even though she knew of my aversion to it. The other women all like asparagus and shared cooking tips concerning the evil vegetable. I tried not to gag. Finally, the birthday girl asked me not to post any asparagus rants on the blog this spring. What was I supposed to do? It was her birthday girl, and I was severely outnumbered. So I promised, knowing full well my chances of keeping the promise were slim.
This morning, asparagus came to mind again, once I talked myself into taking my morning walk. Forty-nine percent of me hollered, “I don’t like to walk in the cold,” while fifty-one percent replied, “But it’s so good for you. Your back feels better you walk.” The promised health benefits and a little vote-rigging with my emotional hanging chads got me out the door.
The cold was so unpleasant, I immediately thought of asparagus. Then my thoughts shifted to what I want heaven to be like: fresh strawberries and sunshine, time to do every good thing in the company of people I love. Then I had another thought. What if heaven isn’t everything I like, but me transformed into someone who loves to do the things God says are good for me? Exercise would be joy instead of drudgery. All work would be pleasure because it’s inherent goodness would motivate me.
Best of all, I would no longer be a picky eater with a sweet tooth. Healthy foods would be my favorites, and I would never overeat. It sounded like heaven to me until another thought stopped me short. What if, on every Valentine’s Day throughout eternity, I received a box of asparagus truffles? Would I actually enjoy them? Did I want to find out?
Then I devised a scheme to avoid the whole issue. I’ll save the truffles until my friend’s birthday and give them to her. She’ll be happy, I’ll be happy, and heaven will be spared the possibility of one of my asparagus rants. Keeping my promise to the birthday girl will be easy once eternity rolls around. Now if I can figure out a way to do it during this life.
Any suggestions?
