by jphilo | Jun 12, 2015 | Family, Reflections on the Past
Tomorrow the Man of Steel and I are taking Mom to a family reunion where many cousins will gather to catch up on each other’s lives and to reminisce about our parents and grandparents. As we talk, the realization will come upon many of us, myself included, that we are becoming more and more like our parents and our stalwart grandparents, Vernon and Josephine Hess. This Fantastic Friday post from June of 2009 offers a picture of what that means.
A few years ago my older sister, who hit fifty long before I did, said she was getting more like our Grandma Hess (our mother’s mother) every year. “Maybe it’s happening to you,” I thought, “but it won’t happen to me.” I was so wrong! Since turning fifty almost three years ago, I have developed some strange quirks that can be traced directly to Grandma. The most notable of these traits are:
- A growing belief that oatmeal deserves its own food group, should be eaten for every breakfast and added to all baked goods.
- A penchant for big, flower-patterned, cover-up aprons.
- Snoring.
- The habit of spitting on a tissue (though Grandma used a hankie) and using it to wash the dirty face of any child related to me.
- Wintering over my geraniums, rooting geraniums, planting geraniums in my garden, etc.
- Ditto for asparagus ferns, vinca vines, and philodendrons.
- Not wanting to spend money unless it’s really necessary, and nothing is really all that necessary.
- A need to check my flower gardens every day, pick flowers for bouquets whenever possible, and put the flowers in the vase (see photograph above) that belonged to Grandma’s mother.
- Thinking the best way to celebrate any winter event is to cram everyone into my house and serve a heavy meal.
- Thinking the best way to celebrate any summer event is to have a family picnic.
Some of Grandma’s traits I haven’t picked up yet and hope the Man of Steel or my kids chain me to a wall before I do are:
- Taking all the sugar, creamer, catsup, mustard, and any other condiment packets, along with as many straws and napkins that will fit in a purse, from restaurant booths.
- Buying cheap clothes, worthy of wearing at my own funeral, at Crazy Daze and putting them in the back of the closet until the big day arrives.
- Belching.
- Watching Lawrence Welk every Saturday night.
- Knowing the life story of every entertainer on Lawrence Welk and relating them to my grandchildren.
- Asking my kids to cut my toenails when I can afford a podiatrist.
- Requiring kids to wait thirty minutes after a meal before they go swimming.
Unfortunately, a few years ago I would have told my family to chain me to a wall if I snored, spit on a tissue or wore a flower-patterned apron. So I’m probably doomed to pick up a few more Grandma quirks every few years. But if the Lawrence Welk oddities come last, I’ll be eternally grateful.
A-one, and a-two, and a….
by jphilo | Dec 29, 2014 | Daily Life
After a five day break, when Camp Dorothy’s namesake headed north to spend a few days with her eldest daughter, things are ramping up for a rockin’ New Year’s Eve celebration. The fun begins today when the camp director collects Dorothy from Minnesota and returns her to central Iowa’s more moderate climate…not that Dorothy will be outside experiencing the climate any more than is absolutely necessary.
She’ll be sitting cozy on the couch with a footstool under her feet and an extra blanket around her shoulders.
Also arriving at camp on Monday will be a Wisconsin contingent consisting of our daughter, six months pregnant, and her 6’4″ husband. They will be taking over many of the camp director’s activity duties including, but not limited to, playing Rummikub and Uno with the camp’s namesake and operating the television remote control so that episodes of The Price Is Right, Judge Judy, and Wheel of Fortune appear on cue at the proper time.
A stress reliever for sure as the camp director (aka: camp cook) foresees numerous trips to the grocery store as the camp population will double for the week.
And the director will be spending extra time planning a rockin’ New Year’ Eve party. Not an easy thing to schedule considering the camp’s namesake usually goes to bed between 7 and 7:30 in the evening. Therefore, our New Year’s Eve countdown of top hits will need to proceed at lightning speed so that 2015 is welcomed in at approximately 7:15 pm Central Standard Time. If that doesn’t work, Plan B is to blow our noisemakers continually from the end of Wheel of Fortune to midnight to keep the camp’s namesake awake until the New Year can be ushered in the rest of the country’s customary time. The camp director hopes Plan A works because, as daughter of the camp’s namesake, she goes to bed around 8:30 PM and has no interest in staying awake to ring in 2015.
The family resemblance is astounding, don’t you think?
Camp Dorothy will definitely be a rockin’ place to be on New Year’s Eve. If you’d like to join us, come early and bring your Uno deck. If you want to prank the camp with a late night call, the joke’s on you as the camp landline’s been cancelled and all cell phones shift into night mode long before Cinderella’s coach is in danger of turning into a pumpkin. All because Camp Dorothy aims to please it’s namesake and a good night’s sleep is always her number one priority.
Happy New Year from the well-rested Camp Dorothy crew!
by jphilo | Sep 4, 2014 | Three Thoughts for Thursday
The little girl on the left is Mom’s sister, Ruth. The little girl on the right is Dorothy.
- To help Mom celebrate her 86th birthday yesterday, I treated her to lunch at Village Inn. She ordered pancakes.
- While she ate the pancakes, she told me about her sixth birthday, 80 years ago exactly. “It was my first day of first grade. My first day of school ever. The older kids–and they were all older kids–spent every recess giving me birthday spankings. It was awful.”
- As she ate she looked at me and said, “Do you know what I really want for my birthday? I want to go back to Pipestone and have Mom make pancakes for me.”
Who knew birthday pancakes could reduce the daughter of an 86-year-old woman to tears?
by jphilo | Jul 10, 2014 | Three Thoughts for Thursday
- It’s disconcerting to discover several books considered cutting edge literature during my childhood are categorized as “classics” in Wilbor’s free downloadable library.
- It’s also disconcerting to realize the man of steel and I have been married 37 years. Where did the time go?
- Most disconcerting of all was having to explain to the adorable toddler who visited our house last weekend that the Fisher Price pull toy fished out of the attic was a phone…and then demonstrate how to use it.
Photo Source
by jphilo | Apr 22, 2014 | Top Ten Tuesday
Lately, the man of steel and I have become more and more aware that age is creeping up on us. Here are some signs of aging we’ve noticed since the beginning of 2014.
10. Hanging out with friends at the Accessibility Summit earlier this year was as fun as ever. But it was a tad disconcerting to discover I was the elder stateswoman in the crowd. Not only could I have been an older cousin to several, I also could have been mother to a great many.
9. During the terrible winter of 2014, we shared “old-timer” memories of the winters of 1966-67 (or was it the Winter of 67-68…my memory isn’t what it used to be), 1978-79, and 1981-82.
8. Neither of us have any desire to ever sleep on a floor, on the ground, or in a tent ever again.
7. No one cards us when we order off the senior citizen’s menu…even if we’re younger than the restaurant’s age cut off.
6. When I announced I had no desire to squeeze into yoga pants, my children breathed audible sighs of relief.
5. On a recent road trip, the man of steel accidentally took a hotel pillow and didn’t notice he placed it right on top of our pillow in the back seat of the car. We were horrified by our thievery and went back to return it, of course.
4. About the same time we discovered we were pillow burglars, we realized we’d forgotten our camera. We retraced our steps and reclaimed it, of course.
3. The list of foods we collectively have to avoid means eating at a restaurants with us is not for the faint of heart.
2. My sister will turn 60 this year and her husband turns 70. Contrary to what we would have said 20 years ago about those ages, the man of steel and I agree our rellies are not old. At. All.
1. We believe the auto industry should consider lumbar support and heated seats should be standard features in new vehicles.
Do any of those sound like you? What would you add to the list? Leave a comment.
