Camp Dorothy Off to a Rocky Start

Dorothea 1024x784 Camp Dorothy Off to a Rocky Start

Camp Dorothy is the place to be after a rocky start yesterday. Late Thursday morning, Mom and I thought we had the world by the tail after the doctor’s office completed her appointment and blood draw in record, painless time. We hopped in the car and headed to Ames for lunch.

Mom wanted to go to a restaurant that serves breakfast because a) she hadn’t eaten breakfast because the doc wanted a fasting blood draw, and b) she always wants to eat breakfast when we go out. Mom was practically salivating when we entered the Ames establishment, which shall remain nameless, at noon. We were seated quickly, and things went downhill from there.

  • When the waitress brought our coffee, she brought only one cup and a pot full of decaf for me. Nothing for Mom because, the waitress explained, they’d just started a new pot of regular. It would be done in a jiffy.
  • Then she said a different waitress was taking over our table.
  • Five minutes later, when the new waitress came to take our order, she didn’t bring Mom’s coffee. Mom looked as pathetic as possible while I explained how hungry AND THIRSTY my frail, elderly mother was. Our histronics made little impression on the waitress.
  • Five minutes later, Mom finally got coffee.
  • Five minutes after that, our orders came, and we dug in.
  • One minute later, I realized the cheese hadn’t been left off my salad as requested.
  • One minute after that, the waitress took my food back to the kitchen.
  • Ten minutes later, my new salad arrived just as Mom finished her meal.
  • While Mom watched me eat, she decided the strawberry-rhubarb piekin pictured on the table display looked mighty tasty, so she flagged down the waitress and ordered one for each of us.
  • Five minutes later, the strawberry-rhubarb piekins made us forget all about the rocky start to Camp Dororthy. While we ate them, we decided to go to breakfast at The Dutch Oven Bakery in Boone on Friday morning.

Because the camp director decided breakfast is the obvious theme for for this session of Camp Dorothy. To paraphrase what my then three-year-old son said to his daddy the first time they walked to the bottom of a roadside ditch to pee, “Camp Dorothy is gonna be fun!”

What My Mamma Taught Me

IMG 8592 What My Mamma Taught Me

My mom raised 3 kids and taught school for 38 years. She’s a mom and a teacher through and through…still asking if I get enough protein and correcting my grammar during our Tuesday visits. The older I get, the more I appreciate the life lessons she taught and is still teaching me. In honor of Mother’s Day, I’m passing along some of those lessons to you.

Lesson #1: A strong family will be a constant support throughout life.

Dorothy Waynes kids 210x300 What My Mamma Taught Me

As a teenager, Mom babysat many of her nieces and nephews. Those nieces and nephews open their homes to her whenever we travel back for funerals or reunions. Their love and respect for her is a touching tribute to her influence on their lives.

Lesson #2: Every woman should get an education so she can support herself.

Teacher Dorothy 173x300 What My Mamma Taught Me

Mom’s 4 year college graduation

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Mom’s Masters in Education Graduation

Mom went back to school to finish her 4 year degree after Dad was diagnosed with MS in the late 1950s. She went on for her Master’s Degree in the mid 1960s. Our lives would have been very different had she not pursued those degrees.

Lesson #3: Some school pictures should never see the light of day.

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Thanks to this lesson, some of mine never will.

Lesson #4: Sewing = an inexpensive wardrobe

Dorothy pantsuit 199x300 What My Mamma Taught Me

Once you know how to sew, you can also be your own polyester fashion statement. And don’t forget, some of the best buys are found in the remnant bin.

Lesson #5: The library is an excellent place to hang out

IMG 5095 300x200 What My Mamma Taught Me

Carnegie Library from my childhood, now a Fine Arts Center.

Mom checked out a lot of books and taught her kids to love to read. This photo is a little ironic since I’m selling my books in about the same spot where we checked them out for free when I was a kid.

Lesson #6: Teaching Is More than a Job

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Mom and me at the party thrown by my co-workers when I left teaching.

Teaching is not just a way to support your family. It’s a way to inspire a new generation and help them realize their own potential.

Lesson #7: True love never fails

Dorothy Harlan 86 300x243 What My Mamma Taught Me

Mom cared for Dad at home from 1959 when he was diagnosed with MS until 1983 when he required nursing home care. Once he moved to the nursing home, Mom visited him daily, unless she was visiting her kids and grandkids, from 1983 until his death in 1997.

Every now and then someone asks why I drive 45 miles to visit Mom Tuesday after Tuesday. The answer is simple. It’s what my mamma taught me.

Love bears all things, hopes all things, believes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:7–8

I Can’t Remember What It’s Called

MachShd3 prefRes I Cant Remember What Its Called
photo source

Mom and I ate lunch at The Machine Shed on Tuesday. She loves to go to the all-things-farming restaurant for two reasons. First, the wall and ceiling decor consists of small farm machinery, farm advertising, and farm kitchen utensils in common use when she grew up in the 1930s and 40s. Second, the menu includes her two favorite sandwiches: patty melt and rueben.

This week, she ordered the patty melt. Medium rare. While we waited for our food to arrive, she surveyed the room. A smile played at the corner of her lips. She pointed to a white metal sign with red letters on the wall near our booth. “Ivar owned an Allis-Chalmers implement dealership for a while.”

Then her gaze settled on a lard bucket sitting on a high ledge. “Ma used to pack our lunches in lard buckets.” She started to giggle. “One time, a boy from school had a dead civit cat and started teasing my sister Ruth on the way home.”

“What’s a civit cat?” I asked.

“A kind of skunk,” she explained. “Ruth got so mad she whacked him on the head with her lard bucket. Hard enough that the kid passed out for a few minutes.”

I smiled “I’ll bet he never bothered her again.”

“No,” Mom agreed, then shook her head. “But ruined the lard bucket.”

She looked around some more and pointed at what looked to me like a giant wooden fork with curving tines. “We had one of those,” she said. “But I can’t remember what it’s called.”

“A hay rake,” I suggested.

“No.” She shook her head. “A scythe maybe?”

“Or a swather?” I tried again.

“I’m not sure.” She frowned. “I used to know all that stuff.”

My heart sank. What could I say to a woman who read Gone With the Wind in one long sitting during high school, who aced every test in high school and college, who earned her Masters Degree while teaching full time wile caring for an ailing husband and raising three young kids?

Then her smile returned and she looked my way. “Say,” she said, her eyes twinkling, and her face feigning confusion, “do I know you? What’s your name?”

We laughed together, and now, I can hardly wait to make her smile when we eat dinner with her on Easter. Because she was right about the name of the giant wooden fork with curving tines.

grko3036 scythe I Cant Remember What Its Called
It’s called a hay scythe.
photo source

Top Ten Blessings of a Large, Extended Family

Hess Cousins Top Ten Blessings of a Large, Extended Family

Over the weekend, Mom’s side of the family gathered to say good-bye to her brother Leo. Our time together was a reminder of the many blessings of a large extended family. Here are my top ten:

10.  Mom (and her kids) always have a place to stay when visiting her hometown.

9.    When a high school reunion committee includes Mom’s name in a hometown newspaper listing of those for whom they need contact information, someone will see the ad and reply.

8.   Everyone knows Lange’s Cafe is the place to go for supper as a family.

7.   One topic of conversation at supper is the general health and well-being of our geraniums.

6.   Though the older generation of our family was not outwardly demonstrative, our generation has become very huggy, and we even say, “I love you” to one another.

5.   When those from far away are driving home, those who don’t have so far to travel call to see how the trip is going.

4.   When one person says, “Mom, Dad, can I have a dime to go swimming?” everyone else responds, “In a half hour, once your meal has time to settle.”

3.   When Mom’s nephews and nieces look at her, they see her not only as an increasingly frail and elderly woman, but as the young firecracker who used to make them mind, drive the tractor, bale hay, and milk cows.

2.   Eyes light up at the mention of fresh kohlrabi from Grandma and Grandpa’s garden and of Grandma’s tapioca fruit salad at Christmas.

1.   When travel complications mean Mom’s the only member of her generation able to attend a funeral, she never feels alone because every niece and nephew in the large crowd of nieces and nephews make sure she knows she’s loved and her presence there is important to them.

Good-by, Minnesota Health King

Uncle Leo Good by, Minnesota Health King

Mom’s last living brother, my Uncle Leo, died peacefully yesterday after 90 years of hard work on this earth. He was the fourth of his parents’ eight children and the youngest boy. Leo took over the family farm, though his father had a hard time handing over the reins. Single-handedly, but with considerable help from his mom, he raised five children on the farm where he’d grown up.

Leo was a farmer and a father, a son and a brother, but he was much more than the sum of those things. He was also a World War 2 vet. He took shrapnel in his foot during the Battle of the Bulge. His injury slowed his fellow soldiers, and finally, they gave him a gun. “We’re going that way.” One of them pointed toward a building in the distance. “Find us if you can,” and left him on his own. He bottled up the terror of that day, and all the terrible days of war he experienced, until decades later a counselor at the VA Hospital encouraged him to tell his stories.

But Leo was more than a a survivor of World War 2. Mom said he’d been an eager student during his years in country school and an avid reader. In one of my last conversations with Uncle Leo, he said he’d always dreamed of going to college and studying history. Family obligations thwarted his dream, but he read voraciously. He loved history, and he loved maps, and his pleasure in them didn’t dim until after his 90th birthday.

But Leo was more than a World War 2 vet. He was royalty, crowned Pipestone County Health King at some point in his school career. The crown earned him a trip to the Minnesota State Fair, where he competed in and won the title of Minnesota Health King. That title made him eligible to compete in the national Health King Contest at the Chicago World Fair, but he caught a cold on the train to the Windy City and had to go back home.

Even so, Leo proved himself worthy of the Health King title during the long years when he cared for his wife, Anna, who suffered from Alzheimer’s. After she died he continued to live alone on the home place, worrying all who loved him, until he was over 90 years old. In December, during a visit at his son and daughter-in-law’s home, he fell. He went to the hospital and never rallied enough to return home.

In a few days, my brother and mom and I will make the long drive to Pipestone for the funeral. I’ll look forward to seeing his children and their spouses and their children, to seeing my remaining aunts and uncles, and many cousins.  I’ll look forward to reminiscing about the old home place with everyone. I’ll go teary-eyed in anticipation the sad playing of Taps, the color guard, and the flag-draped coffin. And all the while, deep inside my heart where my inner child who wants to be a princess lives, I’ll be hoping an official crown will be on Leo’s head, a kingly sash will grace his chest, and his hands will grasp a royal scepter.

Good-by, Uncle Leo, father, brother, uncle, farmer, World War 2 vet, historian, and Minnesota health king. Long live our memories of the king!

A Rascal at Heart

Harlan Toddler 2 A Rascal at Heart

Sixteen years ago this day, my father died.

He was born almost 68 years earlier, the long-awaited and only child of his doting parents, Cyril and Fern Stratton. Maybe because he was an only his parents, who raised him on an Iowa farm during the Great Depression, could afford to take so many pictures of their little boy. Maybe caring for only one child gave his mom time to glue the photos on the black pages of an album and label them in her careful handwriting with a white-inked pen–page after page of quaint photos in which little Harlan looks like a member of the Little Rascals gang.

It’s hard to reconcile the blond-haired toddler in the pictures with my dark-haired dad until I see my father’s smile and joyful spirit shining on the child’s face. Then the resemblance is startling, striking, because throughout his life, Dad was a child–even a rascal–at heart.

When we were young, he was our kindred spirit. My brother, sister, and I loved to be near him. We snuggled close to him on the couch, though we learned to keep a wary eye out for his finger pokes and tickles. He taught us silly songs, showed us how to make goofy faces, and laughed until he cried at the television shows that made us laugh until we cried, too.

On summer days, when Dad wheeled his chair outside and parked in the driveway, the neighborhood kids came running. Children swarmed around him as he told jokes, handed out nicknames like candy, and–until Mom put a stop to it–gave wheelchair rides to those daring enough to climb into his lap.

As the years went by and multiple sclerosis stripped away Dad’s physical abilities, his speech, and finally, his memories, when all he could do was lay in a bed or sit propped up in a wheelchair, the presence of little children stirred him to life. His eyes followed the movement of his grandchildren. His head turned to the sound of the high, piping voices of his grand-nieces and nephews. A grin spread across his face and he snorted with laughter.

In the presence of children, his spirit broke through the walls of his ravaged body. For a moment, the man we missed so much returned. For a moment we saw, that despite a long struggle against a cruel and devastating disease, our father was still a child–and even a rascal–at heart.

Oh, Dad, I miss your smile.

In memory of Harlan John Stratton: May 11, 1929–March 4, 1997

Back to You, Pat Sajak

Camp Dorothy Back to You, Pat Sajak

Thanks to Winter Storm Draco, the winter session of Camp Dorothy started a day late. Things finally got rolling Saturday afternoon, after Hiram brought Mom to our house. The first order of business was lunch, followed by baking caramel rolls for the neighbors. Dorothy participated in the first, but declined the second, choosing instead to take a nap.

The nap ended before the rolls were done.

So Dorothy staked out her spot on the sofa and amused herself by reading a novel and working a few crossword puzzles. Hiram stepped in as activity director and organized a rousing Uno tournament that was enjoyed by all. Evening activities included supper, caramel rolls, Wheel of Fortune, and requests by someone for lap blankets and a footstool before camp goers watched the Coen remake of True Grit. Not everyone lasted to the end of the movie. At breakfast, I told Mom that Mattie Ross lost her arm, but lived to see another day, thanks to Rooster Cogburn.

Of course, I left out the gory details since we were eating.

Sunday was busy, what with left over caramel rolls to eat at breakfast, a morning nap while the camp director and activity director went to church, watching the camp director make apple crisp for dessert after lunch, naps all around in the afternoon, novels to read, and a spot on the sofa to guard from interlopers. Apparently, that spot is the Camp Dorothy version of Mom’s favorite red chair at home.

If you ever go to visit her there, DON’T SIT IN THE RED CHAIR!

All in all, a good Sunday even though Vanna, Pat, Judge Judy, and Alex Trebek all take the day off. Which, when considered in the right light, is good news. Because on Monday afternoon, after Camp Dorothy ends, those perky television personalities will be well rested and raring to go when Mom settles back into the red chair for hours of viewing pleasure.

Back to you, Pat Sajak.

Camp Dorothy Delayed: Way to Go, Draco!

snowstorm mushroom Camp Dorothy Delayed: Way to Go, Draco!

Well, well, well, Winter Storm Draco is certainly living up to his enemy-of-Harry-Potter namesake. With a second day of school closings, Draco’s evil, icy tentacles have stilled any remaining visions of sugar plums dancing in the heads of central Iowa elementary students looking forward to today’s school Christmas parties.

Not only that, nasty old Draco pushed back a whole bunch of Philo phamily phun by a day. Camp Dorothy, scheduled to run from Friday through Monday, won’t start until tomorrow. Hiram called once he got to work this morning and said the roads are still nasty, too nasty for 84-year-old women and their wimpy daughters to tackle.

Camp Dorothy’s namesake took the news in stride. “Better safe than sorry” were her exact words. Her reply might have been different had she known we’re having pork steak and apples, one of her personal favorites, for supper tonight. Then again, the cook where she lives said he’s making several kinds of soup for tonight. If one is oyster stew, Mom’ll be smiling.

But enough chit chat. Draco delayed Camp Dorothy until tomorrow, but the preparations commence immediately: pillows to plump, applesauce to inject with giggles, weekend schedules for Wheel of Fortune to check, Uno decks to locate, and much, much more.

Expect a full report Monday. Unless the weekend festivities leave the activity director utterly spent and speechless–an event Camp Dorothy’s namesake says she’s never witnessed since the day her second daughter spoke her first word.

 

Because of You, Dear Uncles: Veteran’s Day 2012

1109231 poppy Because of You, Dear Uncles: Veterans Day 2012

Yesterday was Veteran’s Day, and in my world it went out with more of a whimper than a bang. However our state’s major newspaper, The Des Moines Register, in a moving salute to World War II vets, had the soldiers tell their stories in their own words.

That story, combined with the passing of my husband’s Uncle Harold, a World War 2 pilot last week, was a reminder of how little time remains for our nation to say thank you to the men and women who risked their lives in that great war. Here are the heroes in our family–some still living and some gone in the past few years–I am proud to call my uncles, and for whom I am grateful today.

Uncle Harold Because of You, Dear Uncles: Veterans Day 2012

Harold Walker, Hiram’s story telling uncle, and pilot in the Pacific Theater near the end of the war. He died a little over a week ago.

Uncle Marvin Because of You, Dear Uncles: Veterans Day 2012

Marvin Conrad, my piano-playing and very musical uncle. I believe he served in the Navy in World War 2. He died a little over two years ago, only a few months after visiting Washington, DC on one of the Freedom Flights.

Uncle Ordel Because of You, Dear Uncles: Veterans Day 2012

Ordel Rogen, my cattle-raising uncle. He served in some branch of the armed forces in World War 2, though I’m not sure of the details. He died several years ago in December.

Uncle Leo Because of You, Dear Uncles: Veterans Day 2012

Leo Hess, who tells harrowing tales of fighting during the Battle of the Bulge in World War 2. He celebrated his 90th birthday in August and still lives in his own home.

Uncle Jim Veterans Day Because of You, Dear Uncles: Veterans Day 2012

Jim Hoey is my history-loving uncle. He was also a dedicated friend to my dad during his long struggle with multiple sclerosis. Jim served as a Navy medic in the Korean War. He turned 80 in June and still loves to travel and write letters to his grandkids and great-nephews and nieces.

Dear uncles, our thanks for your service is not enough, but it’s all we have to give. Thank you for fighting for freedom.

Because of you, our shared family histories continue.
Because of your sacrifice, our family is able to reunite in the summer to reminisce about old memories and create new ones.
Because of you, little children play without fear.
Because of you, elderly men and women are cared for and safe.
Because of you, we live in peace.
Because of you, we are who we are.
Because of you, we are blessed.
Because of you.

How Can Uncle Harold Be Gone?

Uncle Harld How Can Uncle Harold Be Gone?

Some people give the impression they will live forever, and my husband’s Uncle Harold Walker was one of them. So when the news arrived on Wednesday that he died of a stroke last weekend, we could hardly believe it.

Not Uncle Harold…

who climbed up and down the mountains in the Idaho panhandle as a boy,
who trained to try out for the Olympic track team in the 1940s,
who as a WW2 pilot saw the Enola Gay take off with an atom bomb in the cargo bay,
who gave the silk parachute that saved his life to his fiance for her wedding dress,
who loved his wife, children, and grandchildren beyond measure,
who, with his bride, spent a year homesteading in Alaska,
who gave selflessly to the students he taught in school and guided in youth groups,
who coached countless youth in basketball and football,
who loved to hike, bow fish, and hunt,
who earned a doctorate in administration,
who served as a church administrator and school superintendent for decades,
who logged in the Idaho woods well into his 70s,
who created, along with his wife and children, a family camp on a mountainside,
who wrote books about his long and storied life,
who helped coach his granddaughter’s basketball team just last year,
and whose life was a testimony of what it means to love God and others.

How can he be dead? This precious man…

who touched our lives by welcoming us into his family circle,
who made us feel as if we’d always been part of it,
who welcomed us, with his wife, into their home last March,
who took us to lunch at Red Lobster, his favorite restaurant,
who a few weeks ago sent an email describing corn harvest during his childhood,
whose bright eyes and smile in the last photo we have of him now move me to tears.

How can we not simultaneously…

weep for our loss,
rejoice to have known him,
thank God for his swift departure,
and imagine with joy his reunion with the Savior he loved so dearly?